Toxic (Addiction #1)

  Landon was laughing at his brother’s brief showing of vulgarity when someone walked through the bus door. Expecting it to be Rook striking out, Landon didn’t look over until a brown haired little pixie dressed in sexy black shorts, a white blouse and black high heels stood in front of him. It took him a second to focus on the bombshell that was standing in front of him.

  It wasn’t until Grey said, “Quinn?” in a questioning tone that Landon made eye contact with her deep brown eyes.

  Quinn stood in front of them with a new haircut and a bright smile on her face. She looked indescribable. She cut her hair really short and styled it to the side. Her makeup was much darker, making her eyes look bigger than usual and her shirt danced dangerously low on her chest, giving Landon a good view of her small cleavage.

  Landon sat up in his seat as he took her in completely. He knew he looked like an idiot with his mouth wide open just staring at her, but he didn’t know what else to do.

  “Do you like, boys?” Quinn asked, with her hand on her hip.

  “Sweetheart, I don’t know what to say, I mean you look fantastic, but why the change?”

  Quinn’s smile faltered for a second which made Landon want to pummel his brother in the face. If Quinn was his girlfriend he would have picked her up, thrown her over his shoulder and made love to her until she screamed.

  “I told you, I’m changing things up and, frankly, I don’t care if you don’t like it because I feel amazing. I feel so free and I feel sexy.”

  Landon wanted to scream, Amen and give Quinn a high five, or maybe a kiss, whichever she preferred. He shook his head at his giant douche-baggery self.

  “I didn’t say I didn’t like it, it’s just…different.”

  Landon couldn’t take it anymore. “I think you look sexy as hell,” Landon said while looking Quinn up and down. Her face lit up at his comment and she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “Thank you. I’m glad one of the Cross boys can appreciate me. I have some outfits to pull together before the show tonight. You boys have fun with your little game.” She blew a kiss to both of them as she walked out of the bus.

  Landon sat back on the couch and took a giant swig of his beer. Damn, Quinn looked amazing. Life was tough enough around her and now he had to deal with the little sex kitten she had turned into.

  Grey’s hand connected with the back of Landon’s head making Landon dribble beer down the front of his shirt.

  “Dude, what the hell?” he asked, as he tried to wipe up the runaway beer.

  “What the hell? I should be asking you the same question. Why are you hitting on my girl?”

  “Please, I just told her she looked good, something you should have done the minute she walked in here. You know she has self-esteem issues. She tried something new and you should have been more supportive.”

  Grey exhaled deeply as he leaned back on the sofa as well. “I was taken by surprise, that’s all. I mean, her hair is brown now and short. You know I prefer blondes. I don’t understand why she had to change.”

  “You don’t need to understand it man, you just need to accept it.”

  Grey pouted next to Landon as they finished their game of Mario Kart and listened to Cruz work his magic in the back. Landon silently thought that maybe, just maybe, Quinn’s new look would finally be the straw that broke the camel’s back in the Quinn-Grey relationship. One could only hope.

  Chapter 19

  Fury blazed through Rook’s body as he walked in on Kaid holding Maisy and warning her about her relationship with Rook. He had an errand to run before he came by to collect Maisy, but he didn’t think he would walk in on everyone turning on him. Yeah, he screwed up, but it was nothing that called for such talk from her friends.

  “You think it’s a good idea being here right now?” Willow asked, as she stood up in front of Kaid and Maisy.

  Rook would never physically hurt a woman, ever, but if Willow stood between him and Maisy, he might have to change his outlook on his morals. He needed to talk to Maisy and he would do anything to get the chance.

  “Cut the crap, Willow. I’m not here to talk to you or Kaid. I want to talk to Maisy so I’m going to ask nicely, leave us the hell alone.”

  “That’s nicely?” Willow laughed.

  “You can’t always get what you want, dickhead,” Kaid added.

  Rook took a step forward and that’s when Maisy stood up. “Everyone stop. Kaid, Willow, please give me a second with Rook.”

  Willow and Kaid huddled next to Maisy and whispered in her ear as she nodded and gave them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Willow eyed Rook up and down before proceeding out of the bus but not before she had the chance to slam her shoulder into his, throwing his balance off for a second.

  Kaid walked by and spoke just loud enough so Rook could hear him. “You don’t deserve her, fuck stick.”

  Then he left, leaving Maisy and Rook together, alone at last.

  Standing in a defensive stance, wearing a pair of leggings and a tight tank top was the girl of his dreams, the girl he had never known he wanted in his life, but he did. He hated the fact that she was standing in front of him with no make-up on and a look of disgust on her face, a look that he knew was meant specifically for him and his earlier actions. He hated being wrong and he hated having to beg for forgiveness, but he couldn’t stand not being with Maisy. He was already getting shaky from being without her warmth for so long. He needed his Maisy fix.

  “Are you going to actually say something or are you just going to stand there and stare at me?”

  Rook’s hands instantly started to sweat and his stomach churned. Why the hell was he nervous? He never acted like this around a woman, then again, he had never cared about a woman before and the thought of losing Maisy…again, was sending his body into nervous overdrive.

  “Just leave, Rook,” Maisy said, obviously frustrated with his lack of words. She turned to go to the back room, but he stopped her.

  She looked down at his hand on her arm and slowly lifted her gaze. “Take your hand off of me.” Her voice was dripping with malice and it terrified him. She had never shown such anger toward him before. He had seen her angry before, but not like this. It was as if she was disgusted with him. When he thought about it, he didn’t blame her; he was disgusted with himself too.

  “Maisy, please listen.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, leaned against the counter and motioned for him to continue.

  “I was an idiot. I thought you were hanging all over Ridiculous Rick and I got jealous.”

  “You thought I was hanging all over that creepy pedophile of a man? Are you insane? He was practically attacking me and, instead of you coming over and saving me from the situation, you went on to feel up your fans while they returned the favor. You’re despicable, you know that? I needed you there. I needed you to help fight off the black cloud of my father that was threatening to take over.”

  Rook’s voice was caught in his throat as she threw her hands up and stormed to the back of the bus, slamming the door shut, closing him off from her. He was tempted to just leave and cut his losses, but he didn’t want to. He needed her badly, he was hurting inside and he needed her to calm his nerves. He needed to know that he would still be able to hold her, be inside of her and feel the beat of her heart against his face.

  He walked to the back of the bus and opened the door. His heart jumped from his chest as he saw Maisy’s tiny body curled up on the bed with her head buried in her pillow, crying. It felt like someone pulled a Tanya Harding on him and slammed him in the back of the knees with a crowbar because he couldn’t manage to stand. He hated seeing her cry because of something he did, because of pain he inflicted on her.

  He walked to the edge of the bed, pulled off his shirt and crawled into bed with her, spooning her back. She stiffened when she felt him wrap his arms around her, but he didn’t let go. He wanted to feel her warmth, he needed to feel it so he would be reassured that everything
was going to be alright…hopefully.

  “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I’m such an ass. I wish I wasn’t a jealous ass who reacts rather than talks.”

  “Just leave, Rook.”

  “I can’t. I need you.”

  “Funny, it didn’t seem like you needed me when you were kissing your fans and signing their tits.”

  Maisy pulled away and sat up in bed. She wrapped her arms around her knees that were pulled into her chest. Rook tried to get close to her, but she held out her hand to stop him. An electric current went through his body when her dainty hand made contact with his chest, causing him to inhale deeply from the contact he craved. She quickly removed her hand and turned her head away from him.

  “Maisy, how can I make this better? Help me out. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Leaving would be step one.”

  The icy exterior pouring off of Maisy was startling to Rook, as fear ripped through his body. She wasn’t warming up to him and it scared him.

  “Can we please talk about this…please?” He pulled at her arm as he tried to scoot closer. No matter what, he needed to touch her when they were together. For some reason her touch eased him, it eased the knot in his stomach and calmed his nerves. She didn’t scoot closer to him, but she didn’t pull away her hand either. Rook felt good about his small accomplishment and entwined their fingers together.

  “Well…explain.”

  “I’m a dick. I was jealous and just reacted.” He raked his hand through his hair as he tried to explain. “I’m not good at this, at being a decent human. I’m trying to be good for you, but I don’t know how to. I’m going to fuck up, I just need you to remember that when I do, it’s because I’m an idiot but I do care about you. I need you Maisy, please forgive me.”

  Rook’s voice caught in his throat as he looked at the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and pleaded for her forgiveness.

  “I won’t share Rook; I told you that.”

  “I know. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “You said you didn’t know if you could trust me, how the hell am I supposed to trust you after what happened this morning? You kissed those girls, on the cheeks, yeah, but still. You let them grab at you, you signed their tits for fuck’s sake, all the while you made me feel like a fool and left me to fend for myself.”

  “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I left you there and let that bastard bring back bad memories. I know you can’t trust me, but let me try to earn your trust. Please, I can’t lose you right now. Not after I finally got a taste of you.”

  Maisy took a second before she spoke. She played with Rook’s hand as she looked down at their connection.

  “Give me a little bit of time.”

  Rook blew out a frustrated breath. He didn’t want to give her time because if he gave her time her damn bandmates would convince her to not be with him. She would have too much time to think and she would finally realize that what Kaid said was right, she was too good for Rook.

  “I can’t,” he said softly.

  “You can’t?” she asked, a little more pissed off than he expected. He shook his head no. “And why the hell not?”

  He scooted so he sat right in front of her and wrapped her legs around his waist. She didn’t move, but took her hand away from his and crossed her arms in front of her chest, closing him off…again. He placed both his hands on her thighs and rubbed them up and down.

  “If I give you time, you won’t come back to me and I can’t survive that. My soul needs you.”

  Maisy looked away from his pleading face. Rook took the chance to reach into his pocket and pull out the item that kept him from apologizing to Maisy earlier on. He pried her hand from her iron clad clasp to her chest and forced her to look at him.

  “I have something for you.” She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t spit in his face so he continued. He opened her hand and dropped the necklace he had made for her a couple of days ago into her hand.

  She looked down at the thin chain and examined the main piece. It was a white gold guitar pick with their initials engraved in it. She looked closely at the edge and she must have seen the engraving that surrounded the edge of the pick because she wiped a tear away from her face.

  “I had it made a couple of days ago. I can understand if you don’t want to wear it now, but I wanted to make sure you had it.” He traced the pick with his finger as he clasped her hand with his. “You own my soul,” he recited from what he had engraved along the edge of the pick.

  She looked up at him and gently said, “Thank you.”

  Rook felt confident from her reaction that things between them were going to be okay. He moved in to hold her when she stopped him again. She looked into his eyes and brushed his face with her thumb.

  “Give me some time.”

  Rook’s heart fell, but he knew he didn’t have a choice but to grant her what she wanted. He nodded yes, grabbed his shirt and put it back on before he walked out the door. He looked back at Maisy before he left and saw her place the necklace around her neck. Her hand was holding the pick when she looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. He returned the small gesture and tried not to think about the fact that she was wearing his necklace, she was wearing his soul.

  He would give her some time, maybe a day. After that, he was going to stake his claim again. Waiting wasn’t his forte, but if it meant being with Maisy, he would wait forever in order to hold her in his arms again.

  ***

  A layer of sweat coated Rook’s body as he jerked awake. His body jackknifed forward when he woke up causing him to slam his head and his legs on the top of the bunk. He rubbed his head as he tried to calm his breathing to a normal pace.

  He looked around and was glad to see he was in the comfort of his bunk on the tour bus, no matter how uncomfortable and cramped he could be at times. It was reassuring to know that he was surrounded by people who actually cared about him and as far away from his fuckhead of a father as he could be.

  Nightmares didn’t come along very often for Rook, in fact he didn’t even dream most of the time, but when he did, he always dreamt of the night he finally left his father’s drug-induced wrath. It was many years ago, but he could still taste the blood that ran down his face from when his dad beat him with a baseball bat for not lining up his coke lines. Rook refused that night because his dad was already high as hell; he didn’t need anymore. The dickhead couldn’t walk that night and could barely see, that was why he needed Rook so badly.

  By the time Rook was in high school, he was able to stand up for himself and step away from feeding his dad’s habit, but there were nights when Rook couldn’t escape his dad’s demands. That’s what happened the last night Rook stayed at his dad’s house. His dad beat the shit out of him that night and that was what Rook relived every so often in his dreams.

  Rook’s young, pleading voice rang through his head as he begged his dad to stop and the crazed look that ran through his dad’s eyes was ingrained in Rook’s mind. A shiver ran through Rook’s body as the sweat that had formed on his bare skin started to turn cold. He tried to calm himself down, but he was having an extremely difficult time, since he felt so alone since he left Maisy. He needed her more than anything right now. She would take the pain away and give him what he needed. He would be cared for and taken care of.

  Swearing at his idiocy of screwing things up with Maisy, he decided to get out of bed because there was no sleeping for him after he just re-lived one of the worst moments of his life. He walked toward the front of the bus and made some coffee.

  It was early in the morning as the bus drove along the highway toward their next stop. The sun was barely peeking through the sky and a light fog was lifting off the ground, giving the drive an almost serene look. Rook would have enjoyed the view if he wasn’t trying to block his mind from the awful moment he never wanted to relive.

  He looked at the bus that was driving in front of theirs and longed to be in it, with his
edgy angel. He deserved the nightmare after what he put Maisy through. He was such a shithead. He knew he was mad at the DJ for hanging all over Maisy, but if he was going to be honest with himself, the way he acted with his fans was what he always did, he just never had to face the repercussions of his actions since he never had a girlfriend before.

  He ran his hands over his face as he waited for his coffee to brew. What the hell did he get himself into? Why couldn’t he just stay away from her? His life would be so much simpler and so would hers. He was ruining both of them, but he couldn’t stop it. He needed to be with her and, deep down inside, he hated it. He hated that she made him feel needed and wanted and cared for. He was doing fine without her and now that he got a little piece of her, he couldn’t leave her the hell alone. No matter how hard he tried.

  “Fuck,” he muttered as he shook his head and filled up his coffee mug.

  He grabbed his guitar, a pen and his notepad and started writing music. It was currently the only escape he could use to forget about his past, to forget about what a fuck up he was and to forget about the fact that he was falling for a girl he knew he would ruin.

  ***

  Loud and obnoxious voices trailed down the hall and filtered into Maisy’s bunk. The curtain that closed her off from the rest of the bus while she was trying to sleep did diddly squat for blocking off the noise coming from the front of the bus. Kaid and Landon normally had breakfast together and talked about different drumming techniques; it was all kinds of boring to Maisy, so she stayed in her bunk while the two idiots carried on with their morning tradition.

  She thought about the night before and instinctively lifted her hand to the necklace that now lay gently against her chest. It was one of the most precious gifts she had ever received. Usually a father gave his little girl a locket at some time in her life, but she had never received anything, she was never gifted a piece of jewelry. Her heart completely melted when Rook handed her the necklace that had so much meaning and heart in it.