Banished (Forbidden)

  He murmured against my mouth, “We’d better leave before we lose our senses in this cave.”

  “What better place to kiss me than a cave where nobody is watching?”

  Kadesh ran his fingers through the length of my hair. “Too late for that. Behind those rustling bushes are my bodyguards.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Our secret is safe with them. Besides, we are as good as betrothed.”

  My lips quivered. “Are we really betrothed?”

  “In my mind we have been since the night of Hakak’s wedding. When I promised my love and gave you the bracelet of my homeland. My mother’s bracelet.”

  “Which I wear without ceasing. To wear it is to honor her, and the love you will always carry for her.”

  At my words, Kadesh’s face twisted with emotion. “I plan to make the announcement before the court tonight.”

  We kissed each other one last time and then mounted our horses again. The path led into fields of grain and orchards of fruit trees. Beyond the apricots and mangoes were the frankincense groves, numberless trees as far as I could see.

  I stared into the horizon. “Where do they end?”

  “There are days I’m not sure they do,” Kadesh answered. “All I know for certain is that the frankincense trees do end at the border of the Empty Sands.”

  We crossed an incline and rode up to a group of workers wearing white linen shifts. Getting off my horse, I approached one of the musky-scented trees. Its twisted limbs had the appearance of an old man with gnarled knuckles. The tops of the trees were a flat shape, the leaves a rich, dark green. “The branches are completely twisted, as though writhing from their limbs. Taller than I expected, too.”

  “The older trees are.” Kadesh directed my line of sight. “See over there? A layer of mist lies on those brooding mountains. We often find frankincense trees growing naturally from outcroppings of rocks. The monsoons and cooler summers make them flourish.”

  Taking out a knife, he cut a piece of golden honey-colored resin dripping down the trunk. “The sap runs down in rivulets and then hardens.” He pulled my palm toward him and placed the nugget of frankincense in my hand. “See? The trees weep. Creating frankincense tears for my love.”

  The golden piece shimmered in the cup of my hand. I lifted my eyes to his, tears blurring my vision. Nearly a year ago Kadesh had spoken those same words to me. The day he’d given me a handful of frankincense nuggets I’d used to purchase my dagger and camel before the treacherous journey to find him.

  I tucked the freshly cut frankincense into the pocket of my dress while Kadesh spoke with some of the workers about the current grafting. I was sure he had a thousand tasks to attend to after being out of his country for so long.

  The orchard employees, I noticed, were careful not to stare at Kadesh’s eye patch and scars, but I could see sorrow in their faces.

  I kept to the shade of a wide, flourishing tree while the sun beat down. My stomach rumbled. We’d left the palace before the morning meal, and I was hungry.

  Kadesh strode back, his long cloak flapping in the breeze. “I should have brought a lunch with us. We could have spent the rest of the day in our hidden waterfall lair, eating and napping.”

  I wagged my finger, trying not to smile at his boyish eyes.

  “A man in love can always dream, can’t he?” he said with a grin. “On our way home, I’m going to take you to one of my favorite places.”

  We took off at a gallop, following the mountain trails a different way home, skirting the switchbacks we’d taken to climb onto the plateaus of frankincense groves.

  After descending a stony path, we came onto one of the cliff fingers overlooking the ocean. The expansive pristine white beach was protected by a half-moon of red cliffs edging the swirling sea. The city of Sariba was secluded, isolated by mountains and ocean.

  We tied our horses to a scrub brush and stood at the edge of the cliff. I hung on to Kadesh’s arm and gazed down at the pounding surf, waves crashing against jagged boulders below.

  “Have you ever sailed this ocean?” I asked, trying to imagine what lay beyond the deep waters.

  “It’s one of my greatest dreams. Someday we’ll explore the coastline in our very own ship. But nobody has gone south to the horizon and returned to tell about it.”

  A gust of hot wind blasted us. The sky turned black as churning clouds blotted out the sun. Something strange came over me, and I wavered on my feet. My head began to spin, as though someone were whirling me about in a circle.

  “Aah!” I moaned. Pain slammed behind my eyes, so excruciating I wanted to tear my own hair out. Rip out my burning eyes and stab myself with my dagger.

  An inexplicable urge came over me. To throw myself off the cliff and sail through the air like an eagle. I watched my body break against the rocks below. Bloody limbs, my head cracked wide. And then the ocean waves lifting me up and washing me out to sea.

  Falling to the edge of the cliff, my shoulders trembled violently and my stomach lurched.

  As if from a great distance, I heard Kadesh shouting my name. “Jayden? Jayden, are you all right?”

  And then everything went black.

  29

  When I opened my eyes I was lying on my back. My fingers clawed at the rough red rock, hanging on while the world tilted. But the sun was shining, the sky overhead an azure blue.

  Down below, the peaceful sounds of the surf wafted upward.

  “What happened?” I asked weakly.

  “Lie still. You’re white as a corpse.” Kadesh untied his water bag and gave me a small sip, cradling my head in his lap. “We were standing here enjoying the view. You became ill and fainted. Don’t move until we’re sure you haven’t injured yourself.”

  My eyes bounced from his face to the sky and then back to the cliffs. “I think I just remembered my nightmare from last night.”

  “You didn’t tell me you had a nightmare.” Kadesh’s voice was subdued, cautious.

  “I saw terrible things. I was right here on this cliff in my dream. And I sent myself over the edge—to my death.” A sharp wind brought tears to my eyes. “Why would I do such a horror?”

  Kadesh wrapped his cloak around me. “You’re shivering.”

  “I feel as though I’m burning up! My head is on fire!”

  Kadesh held me close, but I pushed him away, agitated. “Tell me what this means. You know. I can see it in your eyes.”

  His face filled with such despair, a tear trickled down his face. “My mother had the same nightmares. They began a year before her death.”

  “What? Oh, dear God, Kadesh, no! Aliyah is in my mind. How can she do that?”

  “I should never have let you dance with her last night. I’m a coward.”

  I pressed my fingers against his lips. “Please don’t say that.”

  He clutched me against him and I buried my face in his chest, limp as a rag doll. “The Sariba Goddess is after everyone I love. She wants to torture me until I die.”

  “Or until you marry her,” I said soberly. “She’ll drug me or hypnotize me to keep me away from you.” I searched his face and saw truth there. “Or somehow I’ll be the instrument to kill you when she’s done with you and owns the Sariba Kingdom throne while her own hands will remain pure.”

  “Let’s get home,” he said softly. “You need to rest.”

  “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to sleep again. I don’t want these loathsome visions in my mind.”

  “You still need to rest. I’ll fetch you from your room after I meet with Uncle Ephrem and your father.”

  I clutched his hands, fearing this terror would drag me to the bottom of an abyss. “I’m coming with you. I won’t give Aliyah a chance to stop us.”

  Kadesh lifted me onto his own horse, tying mine to a rope to follow behind. We descended the cliffs back to the city, silent, each of us engulfed in our own dark thoughts. When he delivered me to my room, Tijah and Jasmine were there to bathe and dress me.
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  “Make sure she eats a little something,” Kadesh instructed. “Then please bring her to my uncle’s receiving rooms in two hours. Don’t let her out of your sight until then.”

  Tijah’s eyes were wide. “Yes, Your Highness.”

  “Nobody comes into this room except for me or her father,” Kadesh admonished.

  When the door closed, I sank onto the bed, utterly exhausted.

  “Lunch has just arrived, my lady.” Tijah tried to coax me to try the vegetable soup and warm bread.

  “I can’t. My head feels as though it will lift straight off my neck.”

  “All the more reason you need to eat.”

  Jasmine piled pillows on the bed and brought me a tray so I could sit up. I finally took a few mouthfuls and bit into a soft piece of bread smeared with sweet butter. There was yogurt and fresh fruit, too.

  I dozed for a bit, although I was afraid to actually sleep. Soon a bath had been drawn, and I reclined in the warm water of the tub. I closed my eyes, thinking of the images of my death from earlier. How was Aliyah doing this? Were the spells and magic from Egypt that powerful?

  When I soaked in the bathwater hot prickles began to run along my skin. The same tingling sensation I’d had when I danced the previous evening.

  Slowly, as though someone else were controlling my body, I felt myself sinking under the soft white bubbles. Water instantly filled my mouth and nose, burning my lungs within seconds.

  A muffled scream sounded above me.

  Tijah jerked me up out of the water. “Lady Jayden!” she screamed.

  I gagged, coughing and spluttering up soapy water. I lurched out of the tub and then proceeded to throw up my entire lunch into the wastebasket.

  “You are ill,” Tijah said. She helped me out of the bath to the lounge chair while Jasmine covered me with two thick towels.

  “I’m not sick,” I insisted. I didn’t say what I was actually thinking. That a demon had attached itself to me—a demon by the name of the High Priestess of the Sariba Goddess.

  After dropping the towel, I staggered to the dressing table. “Get me dressed as fast as possible. And”—I turned to the girls—“I want to know who is preparing my food and delivering it to my suite.”

  “Yes, my lady.” Tijah and her sister worked quickly to fasten me into a fresh gown. They dried and brushed my hair, then applied a light coating of face powder, kohl, and color to my gray lips.

  A light tap sounded at the door. My father stood outside, looking uncomfortable in a white tunic and gray robe. “Are you feeling up to this meeting? You don’t have to do this. The woman is not usually in attendance.” He smiled forlornly. “Boring paperwork and bride-price discussions.”

  I took his arm, trying to smile despite my shaky legs. “I can’t stay in my room any longer.”

  “You look tired.”

  “Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t cure,” I lied.

  We didn’t speak as we passed housemaids carrying fresh linens. When we turned a corner, we found ourselves alone for the next stretch.

  My father clenched my hand in his. “I need to talk to you, Jayden,” he said softly.

  We found a sofa in a small alcove. Scrolls fastened with leather straps sat on a shelf filled with trinkets and a vase of jasmine blooms. A window overlooked the gardens, the noon sun sparking yellow against a bank of rosebushes.

  “We’ve traveled a long way to be here,” my father began. “And yet, I want to be sure you are sure you want this marriage.”

  “Of course—”

  He raised a hand. “Let me finish. This land is strange to us. I have grave misgivings for your future. I had the strangest dreams last night.”

  My stomach seemed to plunge into the floor. “What dreams?”

  “We are far from our own people and our own desert ways. My dreams were a sign we should leave.”

  “How can we leave when we’ve just arrived after a long and difficult journey?” My father’s face was so gray, so haggard. He would never survive a journey back to our homeland so far north of the Sea of Akabah. “I’m betraying my own king. It is treason for me to give you to a man of another tribe. We don’t belong here.”

  “But I belong with Kadesh. I’ve risked my life and reputation to find him. How can you support a man who tried to murder him?”

  “Misunderstandings, dear girl.”

  “No, Father!” I wouldn’t let him take this conversation back over the same arguments. “I know what it’s like to be attacked. To be left dying. To watch an innocent man maimed and blinded forever. I saw proof that Horeb killed Abimelech. I heard Horeb’s own admission when he held me against my will, then chased me to the pond. He’s on his way here to kill Kadesh and kidnap me. He has no mercy in his heart, only pride and vengeance.”

  My father held himself erect, distant. I knew my words hurt him. He didn’t want to believe my accusations.

  “Father, please don’t stop my marriage. Horeb has aligned himself with the Maachathites and the Assyrians. Assyrians, Father! The largest army in the world. I’m sure he’s promised them the chance to pillage Sariba. To steal its wealth and leave everyone in the city dead.”

  “But that would be all-out war. You make Horeb sound so bloodthirsty.”

  “I know you love Horeb. He’s the son of your dearest friend. But he is not who you think he is. At least not anymore.”

  “When Abimelech died, he became my son. How can I go to war against my own son?”

  I had no answer to such a question. “What about Leila, daughter of your blood?”

  My father buried his face in his hands. “I’m losing my children, one by one.”

  “You haven’t lost us yet. We need to get Leila back, and I know Kadesh will help us find Sahmril again. There must be a way to convince her adoptive parents to give her back—”

  “I don’t want Kadesh’s help any longer. He has stripped me of my position as father, as a member of my own tribe, with his constant gifts.” He paused, giving me a long, hard look. “I will always be a guest here.”

  Empathy flooded over me. “After everything you and Mother gave to me, I’m sorry you feel ashamed. Please come and talk to King Ephrem. War is coming. We must stand united.”

  He rose, obviously agitated. “I can’t fight my own kin, my own tribesmen. I’ll die willingly.”

  “What if they storm the palace? The Maachathites won’t know who you are. They won’t let you live.”

  “Then so be it,” he said, defeat in his eyes. “I’ll go find your mother and grandmother in the afterlife.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t say that. As though you have a death wish. Leila and I need you.”

  His smile was weary. “I’m not sure you actually do. The worship of the Goddess is strong here. I can feel the fear of her. A shadow lurks in these mountains. The obedience she commands isn’t love.” My father pressed my hand between his large ones, signs of age turning his fingers thick and crooked. “I do want your happiness. I’ll stay because I love you. But I will not fight if war comes to Sariba.”

  We rose from the couch, but I could sense my father’s unsettled heart. He was resigned, not pleased. A pensive mood lingered between us.

  When we reached the royal receiving rooms, Kadesh came forward to meet us. “My uncle isn’t well. We’ll meet with him in his private rooms.”

  We followed Kadesh beyond the public rooms through another hallway.

  The king’s rooms were decorated in the greens and blues of the ocean. Gold leafing swirled across the high ceilings. Gilded ebony furniture sat in tasteful groupings with sumptuous pillows and vases of flowers on inlaid tables. The carpets were thicker and softer than anything I’d stepped on before. Brocade draperies adorned expansive windows, letting in light from a private courtyard.

  King Ephrem sat on a lounge, dressed in robes of black and gold. His face was etched with deep gnarled wrinkles just like his frankincense trees, but I didn’t think he was much older than my own father. I wondered wh
at had caused his prolonged illness.

  Earlier, Kadesh had told me his uncle was on a mix of pain potions and sleeping powders almost constantly now. There seemed to be little the palace physicians could do for him. Every time Kadesh spoke of it his face turned grim. He loved his uncle like a father.

  King Ephrem beckoned us. “Come closer and sit with me.” A spasm of coughing ensued. He wiped at his mouth and face and folded up the handkerchief, but not before I spied the spotted blood on the linen cloth.

  “We’ll make this meeting brief, Uncle,” Kadesh said.

  ”Daughter of Pharez, let me look at you.”

  I curtsied in my gown, and then knelt on the lush carpets at his feet.

  The king of Sariba studied my face. “My nephew has confided many things about your relationship, daughter of Nephish. He speaks of you and your father, Pharez, very highly. You took care of him after his caravan was attacked. For that I will always be grateful.”

  I stole a glance at my father and I could tell the king’s words caused him chagrin. He didn’t take praise well. His generosity was due to his own good heart and integrity.

  “It was our honor to help your son,” Pharez said with a slight bow. “It was the will of God we were there to help him. In normal circumstances, we would have already departed that valley.”

  Ephrem’s gaze was piercing. “Because of the death of your wife,” he said quietly.

  Pharez’s eyes swept up to the king’s face. “That is correct.”

  “My queen has been gone many years,” the king said. “After bearing two stillborn sons and no daughters.” He gave my father a penetrating look, choosing his words purposefully. I realized the king was putting the two of them on a level station and position.

  My father bowed his head, acknowledging the honor.

  “Indeed, since your daughter held the position of becoming queen of your tribe, we are royal brothers, Pharez. Please. Sit down.”