Billy and Me

  When we eventually get into the car, we fall straight back to sleep.

  As soon as we arrive at the studio, an hour later, we are ushered into Billy’s dressing room, which is basically a caravan in the car park. It’s simple, cute and very warm. It has a little kitchen/living/bedroom area all rolled into one, with a brown sofa-bed in the bay of the window, TV, kettle and fridge in the one space. It has its own bathroom attached to the side of it with a toilet, sink and shower inside. It’s not the most glamorous place in the world, but it’s exciting, nonetheless. For me it is, anyway, Billy has obviously been in various different versions of the same thing many times before.

  We barely have a chance to put our bags down when there’s a knock at the door.

  ‘Come in,’ calls Billy.

  The door opens and a man wearing a red knitted hat and black bomber jacket walks in carrying a clipboard under him arm.

  ‘Hello, Billy!’ he says chirpily.

  ‘Stephen, good to see you, buddy!’ Billy says, as they share a man hug. ‘This is Sophie.’

  ‘Hey!’ he says, turning to me and shaking my hand.

  ‘Hello!’

  ‘I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Stephen, I’m the Second Assistant Director. Basically it’s my job to make sure Billy is here and happy with everything that’s going on.’

  ‘He does an awful job,’ mocks Billy.

  ‘Oi!’ laughs Stephen as he playfully punches Billy in the arm.

  ‘See? If I’m bruised the make-up ladies are going to be so mad at you!’

  ‘You’re such a peach. Right,’ he says, turning his attention back to me. ‘If there’s anything you need at all while you’re with us just give me a shout or simply stop one of the runners or anybody with one of these,’ he says, gesturing towards a walkie-talkie-like contraption in his back pocket.

  ‘Thank you,’ I say with a smile.

  ‘Right, first things first, guys, what can I get you for breakfast?’ asks Stephen, rubbing his hands together.

  ‘Seeing as it’s Sophie first day on set, let’s go for the works!’ suggests Billy.

  ‘It would be rude not to,’ chuckles Stephen.

  After we’ve sampled almost everything catering has to offer – cereal, bagels, pastries, full English breakfast and French toast – we’re stuffed.

  When Stephen knocks on the door again he finds us curled up on the sofa watching Daybreak.

  ‘Billy, are you ready for hair and make-up?’

  ‘Yep!’ he says, getting up off the sofa and having a good stretch.

  ‘Do you want to go with him, Sophie? It’s a bit of a squeeze in there with everyone running around, but he shouldn’t be too long.’

  ‘Not with a face like mine!’ jokes Billy.

  They both turn to me to see if I’m going to join Billy or not for his first trip out of the trailer. I’d quite like to if I’m honest, but the way Stephen phrased the question, as though he was discouraging me from going, makes me think it’s probably best for me to stay here.

  ‘Erm … if you won’t be long and it’s tight for space then I’ll just meet you back here,’ I shrug.

  ‘BillyBillyBillyBillyBillyBilly Buskin,’ sings a girl’s voice while she bangs on the bottom of the door, before flinging it open. ‘Oh!’ says the girl in shock at spotting me on the sofa, as she stays at the bottom of the trailer’s steps. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she says in confusion, checking the sign on the door to make sure she hasn’t gone to the wrong dressing room.

  ‘Don’t worry, he’s just off getting his hair and make-up done. He shouldn’t be too long now, though.’

  ‘Oh,’ she says, wrapping her long fluffy coat around herself.

  ‘I’m Sophie,’ I say as I walk over to the door, eager to introduce myself to this girl who is clearly close to Billy.

  ‘Sophie? Oh! You’re his girlfriend! Of course! He has been so excited about you joining us here. It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Holly,’ she says as she offers me her hand to shake, instantly becoming friendlier now she’s made sense of the situation.

  ‘Holly!’ booms Billy’s voice. I pop my head out to see Billy walking towards us both. He’s wearing a light brown wig, with long straggly hair hanging around his face and over his shoulders. He looks ridiculous.

  ‘Heeeeey! Billy Bear! Nice hair!’ she laughs as she runs over in his direction, throwing her arms around him. Billy laughs back as they both start walking towards me.

  ‘So you’ve met Sophie already, then!’

  ‘Only just,’ I say.

  ‘I’ve been here for hours. I’m already bored!’ she chimes. ‘Stephen told me you were in so I thought I’d hunt you down.’

  ‘You already had hair and make-up?’

  ‘Can’t you tell?’ she asks, flicking her red hair off her shoulder. ‘I’ve even dressed!’ she says, opening her coat to reveal a tiny mini dress. She kicks out a foot behind her in a cutesy Marilyn Monroe way, and lets out a girlie giggle.

  Despite knowing it’s only a costume, I instantly feel underdressed in my comfy clothes. Even though Billy also arrived in his comfy attire, I hadn’t thought about the fact that he’d be spending most of the day in his costume. I make a mental note to make more of an effort tomorrow, especially if all the girls look as gorgeous as Holly.

  ‘She was nice,’ I say, once Billy is back in the trailer and Holly has gone to say hello to someone else.

  ‘Holly? Yeah, she’s sweet.’

  ‘You seem quite close.’

  ‘Not really, I probably speak to her a bit more than the other girls, that’s all. They all get a bit funny about just coming over and talking to me, whereas Holly doesn’t seem fazed by anything.’

  ‘I think she might have a bit of a thing for you.’

  ‘Nah! Don’t be daft,’ he says, as he takes his shoes off and sits back down on the sofa beside me.

  ‘She seemed quite smitten.’

  ‘It’s nothing like that, she’s honestly like that with everyone, goes round hugging anybody. It doesn’t mean anything.’

  I don’t know why Billy is so quick to dismiss the possibility. Could it be that he is blind to her obvious affection for him? Or is he just trying to shut me up and extinguish my fears?

  There’s another knock at the door, which Billy opens to find a woman in her late fifties carrying hangers full of clothes, which appear to be weighing her down.

  ‘Hello! I’m Judith, your dresser,’ she says,

  ‘Pleasure to meet you. I’m Billy and this is Sophie,’ says Billy as he grabs the clothes from her.

  ‘Thank you, could you just pop those into that wardrobe for me?’ she asks, brushing her fringe away from her eyes. ‘Ah, yes, someone said you had company,’ she says, looking at me. ‘That’s a good idea. There’s so much waiting around on these jobs. It can get quite lethargic. Hello there,’ she says, sending a warm smile in my direction before pulling a notepad from her pocket and squinting at it.

  ‘What was your name again?’ asks Billy.

  ‘Judith,’ she says, looking up from her pad. ‘Sorry, just checking I’ve got everything. As I said, I’m your dresser. So I’ll be bringing you the costumes you need for the scenes each day and getting you in and out of them … not because we don’t think you can dress yourself, it’s just for my personal enjoyment,’ she chuckles, causing us to laugh with her.

  Walking into the studio with Billy for the first time, I feel nervous and tiny as I look at the enormous space around us, which resembles a big factory warehouse. With its steel walls, mountains of scaffolding holding up bright lights, and various pieces of expensive-looking equipment dotted around, all encircling the set, which has been pitched up in the middle of the vast space, it all seems pretty daunting. Bizarrely, it’s colder than I thought it would be, in both temperature and atmosphere.

  The room is incredibly busy, with crewmembers dressed from head to toe in black, rushing everywhere and barking out orders to other crewmembers in a bid to get things organized quick
ly so that they can get started as soon as possible. The occasional person might look up and see Billy and say a quick hello, but largely they’re all so focused on their individual tasks they don’t register us.

  Actors arrive in full costume, immediately helping themselves to tea and coffee, which has been laid out for them on a big wooden table, despite the fact they would have already had copious amounts of tea in their dressing rooms – my guess is that it gives them something to do while they’re waiting to be told what’s happening and that they’re allowed on set. Everyone is in their own little world, psyching themselves up for the scene ahead. Sensing the nerves in the room, Billy and I stand quietly to one side, deciding it’s best to do introductions later when everyone has had a chance to settle in.

  Today they’re filming some of the club scenes from earlier in the film, where Billy and the band are performing and are at the height of their fame. With nearly all of the actors in it, it’s meant to be full of energy and excitement, like one big wild party. From what I can see of the set from where we’re stood, the club has red leather sofas lining the mirrored walls with matching stools at the white bar, and black-and-white tiles patterning the floor. It sounds as though it should all look gorgeous, but it actually looks like it could do with a wash; the floor has been streaked with dirt and the furniture has been battered and worn in, making it all appear dark and grimy, adding to the rock and roll vibe the designers have been creating.

  In today’s scenes Billy’s character Stan will be the ultimate showman, strutting around the club with more than an air of self-importance and arrogance. Every time I look at Billy I get the giggles thanks to his long hair and costume, which is an unbuttoned cream shirt, low-slung jeans held up by a chunky buckled belt and big black boots. He really does look like a seventies rock star, so it feels quite surreal to be snuggling in to him.

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘All right,’ Billy says with a nod and shrug. ‘Today should be more fun than anything else.’

  ‘Where’s best for me to stand?’

  ‘Well, anywhere that you’re not in the way and not in shot would be good.’

  ‘No, you don’t say.’

  ‘You’d be surprised how many visitors have wandered into shot without realizing it on past jobs.’

  ‘Seriously? OK, I’ll stay alert then,’ I promise, hoping I don’t manage to embarrass myself by making such a stupid blunder.

  ‘Stephen knows you’re here anyway, so I’ll just tell him where you are. He’ll keep an eye on you and check you’re happy.’

  I stop listening as a woman in a thick, white floor-length fur coat struts into the room. She wears it open to show her black knee-high boots, tiny denim hot pants and crop top, exposing her slender tanned legs and skinny midriff. Her blonde hair, straight and silky-looking, cascades down to her waist. I watch as she casts her eye around the room, inspecting the scene around her, demanding her presence be known, which, judging by the fact that most of the room has fallen silent and is looking straight at her, it is. Eventually, a young guy carrying a walkie-talkie runs over to her, asking if he can get her anything.

  Billy turns to see what’s caught my attention.

  ‘Ah … Heidi.’

  ‘Wow!’ I exclaim, surprised at how stunning she is in the flesh.

  ‘Hmm …’ Billy grunts with a frown.

  ‘Is she still being off ?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘That’s a shame.’

  ‘It’s her problem,’ he shrugs.

  ‘OK, everyone,’ booms a male voice, although with so many people around I have no idea who is speaking. ‘Now that everyone is here, can we have all the actors on set, please?’

  ‘Right, stay here and avoid those cameras. Help yourself to tea and coffee, and if it gets really boring, feel free to chill out in the dressing room if you like,’ offers Billy, before giving me a kiss and running over to Stephen to point out where I’m standing.

  It’s a long morning, with long gaps between takes where everyone lounges around on set waiting to be told what to do next. The director Max Rossini chooses to talk to each actor individually, perfecting all the minuscule details that will be picked up by the camera.

  I am now, thanks to Stephen, sitting in front of a small monitor, so I can see what’s being filmed, rather than trying to make out what’s going on over people’s shoulders. Despite being nicely tucked in a corner, out of the way, I feel like a spare part. Everyone else, all those hundreds of people flying around the floor, has a purpose and a role to play in the grand scheme of things, even if it’s just holding an actor’s coat during takes, or getting people water in the breaks. However, as a girlfriend, and the only one on set, I seem to have spent the majority of the morning getting in the way, and consequently being shoved around, which is why Stephen has plonked me here with my own monitor. So now I’m sitting here, watching, whilst drinking gallons of tea and scoffing down biscuits. I’m sure that once I get to know everyone as the days go by I’ll feel less awkward, though. Plus it’s interesting to see Billy at work and, as he kept insisting, it really is far less glamorous than it’s perceived to be.

  While Billy is talking to the director, I notice Holly looking at me with a massive grin and waving frantically. I can’t help but laugh as I give her a shy wave back, not wanting to draw attention to myself. It’s such a small gesture from her, but it’s a sweet one and makes me feel included, somehow. Perhaps I’ve completely misjudged her, I think. Maybe she is just nice to everybody, without there being any hidden agenda.

  Billy surprises me on set. Even though he’s told me he doesn’t really know any of the cast, they all seem more than friendly with each other, Heidi aside, of course. In the scene he’s obviously playful with the female cast members as his character Stan is a real babe magnet. This leads to them whispering in his ears or whatever, but it baffles me when it continues after the camera stops rolling. I watch as nearly all of the girls, at some point, make their way over to him during the breaks and toy around with his new long hair, touching his bare chest, posing in their revealing outfits and laughing at everything he says, clearly flirting with him. I’m irked when, every now and then, they’ll be cut off during filming and remain in their seductive positions, lingering over Billy longer than necessary.

  It irritates me, but that isn’t what surprises me as I assumed I’d see girls behaving this way around him; what surprises me is seeing him flirt back. Now, obviously, Billy is a friendly guy who oozes charm – that’s what attracted me to him and won me over. It could be that he is just returning their gestures and wanting to build an onscreen rapport, not thinking about how it might appear. I don’t think he would callously behave in that manner in front of me, he’s not that sort of person. But he does seem to enjoy having that physical closeness with other women – like Ruth. I found his relationship with her a tad too familiar for my liking – I’m sure any girl who saw her partner nuzzling up to another girl would. This make-believe acting world is such a weird one to get my head around. What’s real and what’s not?

  In his defence, Billy has pointed me out to a few of the girls, blowing kisses in my direction in a sickeningly sweet, yet cute, way – so he isn’t acting like I don’t exist. But what is he like when I’m not around if he’s like this when I am?

  I know, I know. I shouldn’t look into everything too much and overanalyse. I can’t afford to get jealous or overprotective now, not when there’s so much to come during filming which I will have to bite my tongue over.

  However, as I watch in silence, I start to feel increasingly disheartened.

  During the afternoon, when Billy has gone to have his make-up retouched and I’m back in the trailer, I get a call from Mum, who is extremely excited about her daughter being on the set of a film.

  ‘So, tell me all about it?’

  ‘If I’m honest, Mum, there’s nothing to tell.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s all moving quite slowly.’
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  ‘There’s got to be something you can tell me. What’s she like?’

  ‘As gorgeous as I feared.’

  ‘I bet she’s not a patch on you.’

  ‘Do you think you’re biased, by any chance?’

  ‘Never,’ she insists.

  ‘Billy was right about her, she’s really cold towards everyone. It’s unbelievable how much she changes when the camera is on her, though.’

  ‘She’s good, then?’

  ‘Very!’

  ‘No rude scenes yet?’

  ‘Not yet. But it’s only the first day. All that is yet to come.’

  ‘You dreading it?’

  ‘I’m not looking forward to it, that’s for sure,’ I admit.

  ‘I don’t know how you can watch it, love. I wouldn’t be able to.’

  ‘Billy’s asked me to,’ I say, although now I’m doubting if it’s such a good idea to watch after all, especially knowing how much it affected me just seeing him interact with the girls earlier.

  ‘You’re a stronger woman than me. If I’d had to watch anyone so much as look at your dad in the wrong way I’d have given them what for.’

  ‘Mum!’ I squeal, shocked at her fighting talk.

  ‘Well …’

  ‘What are you up to tonight?’ I ask.

  ‘I’m off to the theatre!’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. Colin found some tickets for half price to go see the musical version of Brief Encounter.’

  ‘It’s been turned into a musical?’ I laugh.

  ‘I think so … or perhaps it was Breakfast at Tiffany’s,’ she chuckles.

  ‘And how’s it going with Colin?’

  ‘Oh, he’s a good man. Nice to have him around.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘He knows he’ll never replace your dad,’ she says quietly. ‘But likewise I know I’ll never replace his wife.’