Destined to Play
‘It’s only fair that you be in a towel, too. We just want to play a little.’ They toss me lightly on the bed. Jeremy unbuttons my jeans and slides down the zip. ‘Lift her up a little, Pat.’
He arches my back so Jeremy can slip off my jeans.
‘That’s it, sit her up.’ Jeremy lifts the shirt over my shoulders and arms.
I look straight into his eyes, questioning, unsure of what to do or how I should be feeling. Or exactly what is going on for that matter. He then pauses and asks me quietly
‘Do you want us to stop?’
‘No.’ I slowly shift my head from side to side. I don’t want them to stop. Who in their right mind would say no to being pleasured by two buff, virile men on a dark and stormy night? Certainly not me! The heat in my belly immediately spreads to more sensual areas.
He unleashes a massive grin. ‘It’s okay, GG. I know you want to play as much as we do. We promise to give you our undivided attention. Just relax and enjoy the ride!’
‘GG?’ This is new.
‘Gorgeous Girl, of course!’
Great, my list of nicknames is growing exponentially tonight.
He then turns to Patrick. ‘You undo her bra and take her knickers off while I hold her in position.’
I can’t quite believe this is happening and am utterly mesmerised by the hot naked maleness surrounding me — completely tantalised by the thought of what might happen next. Is this really happening to me? Apparently so, it seems to be my lucky night! So I let them lay me back on the bed, fully naked, eagerly anticipating their next move, and allow them to play with me, caress my breasts, nibble my earlobes, kiss my stomach, share me, suck me, probe me. I close my eyes, open them, and see Jeremy sucking my nipples. Moaning, I close my eyes again and then open them to see Patrick languidly drawing a line with his tongue along my inner thigh. They explore parts of my body together, then separately and then together again, each finding their own unique ways to take me to uncontainable heights.
For many hours.
And it is spectacular.
My head is resting in Patrick’s lap, still wrapped in the towel as they engage in some anatomy-type conversation that I am not even pretending to follow. He is stroking my hair and fanning it out over his crossed legs as Jeremy lies sideways next to us.
Patrick lowers a spliff to my lips and I inhale lightly, looking up at him. Quite relaxing as I’m already lying down, and happy to have a break from the intricate attention their hands and mouths have been giving to my body. I’m floating in both body and mind.
Pat feels my forehead. ‘Lexi, you’re burning up. Are you feeling alright?’
‘Yeah, great, I think, although it does feel quite hot and stuffy in here.’
‘Not surprising.’ They laugh.
‘Let me get the thermometer,’ offers Jeremy.
‘Not necessary, J,’ I say, laughing with them. Patrick’s fingers continue to caress my hair and it feels serene. I take a deep breath and let myself float off into a cloudy haze. I am brought back to stark reality as Jeremy throws my legs over his shoulders, spreads my butt cheeks and inserts the thermometer up my arse, presumably lubricated as it has no problem sliding in. I attempt to hoist myself upwards only to be kept calmly in place on Patrick’s lap as he pins my shoulders toward the bed.
‘Jeremy!’ I exclaim. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Taking your temperature, AB. We wouldn’t want to let anything serious happen to you when we can take necessary precautions. We’re both nearly doctors, you know.’
‘I’m absolutely fine. Get that fucking thing out of my arse.’
‘Just hold still another minute or so. It wouldn’t be good to have mercury leak into your sweet spot now, would it?’
His words, believable or not, ensure I don’t move a muscle until he removes the invading object.
‘Oh yes, esteemed colleague, you are correct. Thirty-eight point five. Well diagnosed. Lucky I have just the remedy.’
‘I do not have a temperature, Jeremy, you idiot.’ I recommence my squirming.
‘Please calm the patient, Doctor McCluskey.’
Patrick swiftly clamps my mouth shut with his thick fingers. Jeremy shifts my arms above my shoulders, which Patrick obligingly pins to the bed with his solid football legs.
I groan without much success of creating any real noise.
What now? I think. They must be exhausted. I am.
Apparently not.
Jeremy reveals an ice bucket overflowing with ice cubes that he sits up on the bed.
He then ever so slowly works the ice over the skin on the inside of my arms, round and round my underarm, across my chest and then repeats the sequence on the other side. My body begins to react to the sensation of the freezing ice sliding and dripping over my overheated body. As he reaches my breast, he circles and circles, needing new ice cubes as they disintegrate into droplets over my burning skin. At the same time as Jeremy is tantalising my nipples, Patrick has ice rolling languidly over my lips, teasing ice into my mouth and playing with my tongue. My arms are numbing under the weight of his legs, becoming useless weapons of protest. I am thirsty for the ice in my mouth so I let him torment me until he relinquishes each cube down my throat. So focused am I on this that I barely notice Jeremy finishing with my nipples and continuing his mission further south, leaving a small bundle of ice jiggling around my belly button. Patrick doesn’t allow my nipples to feel neglected for a moment and continues where Jeremy left off. I am literally drowning in sensory stimulation. Jeremy begins thoroughly and completely icing my vulva, sending shivers all over my body, until he eventually slides a cube skilfully into my vagina. My back arches instantaneously at the sensation.
‘Please …’ I say breathlessly, to someone, anyone.
Jeremy slides another ice cube deeply into me. The sensation of the frozen cube being pushed into a tunnel so hot sends my body throbbing internally as it tries to reject the frozen, harsh invader biting into my over-sensitised flesh. Before it has the chance, he gently coerces another ice cube along the same path, his eyes completely absorbed with the impact his actions are having on my body.
Just as I can’t take any more of the fire and ice competing within my body, Jeremy squeezes my legs together tightly, bound either side by his and devours my mouth in his.
As Patrick holds my head in his lap, I can feel his throbbing erection next to my skull. He repositions himself to once again ice my surprisingly sensitive underarms before slipping my arms out from underneath him and pinning each arm to my side, thereby trapping the ice in position. Jeremy had ensured my mouth and southern tunnel were inundated with ice as his body restricts and limits my movements. I feel like an inside-out igloo. The sensation of so much body heat on the outside and being trapped frozen from within is like nothing I have ever experienced. My entire being ripples with the sensation of freezing and burning simultaneously, ripples with uncontrollable tremors as the heat from my body aggressively devours the ice in my oral and vaginal cavities. The frozen intruders compete with the natural habitat they are invading as my brain becomes numb with the sensory overload my body is experiencing.
I can’t scream. I don’t scream.
The boys don’t release me until I achieve meltdown.
When I do, Jeremy lowers himself to dramatically exhume the diluted juices he has created, wholly and completely. Although consumed with frost, I am wet with lust and desire and erupt volcanically.
‘See, Alex, I have told you many times only good things come from a sincere vodka cheers. Quite an experience, wouldn’t you agree?’
I am too fervently spent to comment.
The strange thing is, I never did find out whether they had planned it that way, or the whole experience just happened during the flow of the evening …
I attempt to dislodge the salacious memory from my mind and focus on exactly what Jeremy is doing.
‘That looks very technical. What on earth are you preparing over there?’
‘Not as technical as it looks, but we may as well make it worthwhile. It’s not like we’re together very often, after all. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve opted for the Hemingway version given it is Friday afternoon. It is a little more involved than the French version and the Bohemian version is sure to set off the fire alarms.’
His explanation doesn’t help my confusion.
He ceremoniously scoops up two frosted glasses of opalescent milk and hands one to me.
I lift the glass to my nose to sniff the contents as I raise my eyebrows in suspicion. It smells heavily sweet with an anise or liquorice undertone.
‘It is the drink of Vincent van Gogh, Oscar Wilde, Ernest Hemingway.’ If this is meant to enlighten me, it fails. Before I have a chance to question him further, he makes a toast. ‘To you, Alexandra, to exploring and discovering the enlightened version of yourself. And of course, to the blossoming of your roses,’ he adds with a mischievous and knowing wink.
I may be wearing the most beautiful dress I have ever worn, feeling more glamorous than I have ever felt, but all of a sudden, we are back at uni, about to embark on some playful, boundary-breaking adventure together — again. I am as excited and apprehensive as a small child going to their first theme park and I allow myself to be swept away in the alluring, mysterious unknown of this weekend, knowing Jeremy would never do me any real harm.
And I know better, for many reasons, than to decline him at this point.
‘Skol.’
‘Slainte,’ I respond, as per our tradition of saying cheers in the language of one of the countries we have visited together. I look up directly into his eyes, before allowing the icy-cold liquid to slide smoothly down my throat, its potency striking alarmingly fast, warming my blood without delay.
‘That’s the spirit, I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me. This weekend is meant to be.’
‘What on earth was that, Jeremy?’
‘Absinthe, sweetheart, the green fairy.’
Jeremy sets his glass down and walks over to me slowly and assuredly. I can’t accurately pinpoint the look in his eyes.
‘So, Alexandra, are you ready to say goodbye now?’ I look at him quizzically.
‘We’ve only just said hello. I thought you wanted a full forty-eight hours.’ The rush of the absinthe permeates my brain as I wonder what he means.
‘It means it is time to deliver what you promised me.’ He takes my hand and strokes ever so gently beneath my palm, his fingers barely touching the skin. I take a deep breath and try to stay as calm and even as possible.
‘You mean to stay the weekend? Jeremy, you know I’ve already promised you that, it’s okay. I will still stay.’ My words sound weak and wasted in their attempt to sound conversational. Jeremy can feel my pulse start racing at his previous words as his fingers are cleverly positioned on my inner wrist. What was I thinking? Trying to fool a doctor. Trying to fool Jeremy!
‘You are toying with me, Alex. You know exactly what you promised.’ He continues keeping track of my pulse as I attempt to look elsewhere, anywhere but him.
‘Oh, you mean in the bath? Is that what you’re talking about?’ He shakes his head in condescension, but still has a smile on his face.
‘Yes, GG, that is exactly what I’m talking about. You didn’t think I had forgotten, did you?’
His words are loaded with innuendo from our ancient past whilst melding perfectly into this present moment. I pull away from him, attempting to put some physical and emotional distance between us.
‘What was it again? I wasn’t fully focused on our discussion at the time. Something about the lecture … senses, was it?’ I say flippantly, trying to lighten the mood, although something inside me wishes I hadn’t asked given his furrowed brow, his silence intensifying the moment.
‘You weren’t serious, Jeremy? You can’t have been. I thought you were just teasing, you know, just wanting to heighten the experience …’ He interrupts me.
‘I asked you to promise me two things. No vision and no questions.’ He pauses for effect.
‘For forty-eight hours. Simple really. Nothing a smart, intelligent, woman such as yourself can’t understand I’m sure.’ My palms moisten at his words. He continues, in a serious, no-nonsense manner.
‘Alexandra, you know better than anyone that I don’t ever, ever joke or tease about promises.’ He looks at me intently but allows me to keep my distance. Oh god, he was serious, he honestly wants to follow through with this. Typical, just when I’m starting to relax and have some fun. Such a Jeremy thing to do, to take the situation to a whole other level that puts me on edge all over again. I know full well that he is right. He takes promises more seriously than anyone else I know. What was I thinking? Making stupid mindless promises, all for the short-term satisfaction of a mind-blowing orgasm. Ah, but what an orgasm … and I haven’t had one for soooo long … And the promise of more is almost too much to bear. Focus! I castigate myself.
‘Well, Jeremy,’ I say in a serious voice, attempting to harden my resolve and stand my ground. ‘You did make me promise under duress and you know as well as I do, that it doesn’t count.’ I can only hope I am matching his language and energy as a last resort at getting out of this.
‘Ah. So you do remember. We have progress. Would you really call that duress, sweetheart? It certainly seemed to me like you were more than enjoying yourself.’ His words are as wry as his smile.
‘Even so, it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t duress. You knew I was in a situation of weakness and just played on it.’ I’m trying to sound convincing.
‘Are you ready?’ he says firmly. Obviously the time for discussion is over.
‘Really? You want to go through with this stupid promise thing? It’s so silly, nonsense really. We don’t need our time together to be like this, Jeremy. It would be so much nicer to spend time together without … well, without … having this tension between us, without playing games. We’ve grown up, there is no need for this. It is just childish,’ I say, my rising alarm giving way to a little exasperation.
His eyes narrow and zero in on mine as he steps toward me. I automatically take a step back; I can’t help myself, as if erring on the side of caution, attempting to avoid the enveloping sense of danger, as enticing as it may be. He continues to close in on me. As I step back again I realise I have reached the edge of the table. What was I meant to do now, run? It seems ridiculous, running away from my best friend, my ex-lover. I don’t want to run and therein lies the problem. I have to reason with him.
‘Please, Jeremy, please, must you do this?’ I say urgently, almost begging for both time and space. He places his arms on either side of my body, wedging me firmly against the table. His body presses against mine, my personal space vanishes and I have nowhere to go other than hold firm or lie backwards on to the table. I feel his eyes penetrate me, seeking my soul with their glare and know I must avoid looking at him at all costs, knowing that if I do, they will bore straight through me and penetrate my inner sanctum. There is no need for him to feel my pulse now; he can sense it all over my body. Like a Formula One racing car driver, my pulse only has one pace — fast.
‘Alex.’ He is close, firm, dominating. I sense his patience is diminishing rapidly. ‘You promised; you know what that means between us. You know we never promise something we can’t commit to, to ourselves or to each other. It has been that way since we met. Our word is our bond.’
The intensity of his words and the force of his response momentarily stun me. I hadn’t anticipated the heated emotion trapped within them. A deep shiver runs down my spine. Once again my mind replays the promise memory again as if on cue, conjuring up the same images as before. I remember his words had a similar tone and finality.
‘You know I am serious, Alexandra, I won’t let this go.’
But will you let me go? Do I want to go? These silent questions float through my head.
I know he is not to be messed with whenever he uses my full first name.
The air between us is thick with pent-up energy, emotion, and anticipation. There is so much I want to say, so much that isn’t coming out of my mouth. Where are my words? Where is my protest? Where is my escape? Why am I still here, accepting this? There must be something I can do. My mind is blank. Could I want this reality? Do I desire it? Is he tapping into something I’ve been denying in myself for years?… Oh no, my own mind has just given him the opening he is looking for.
I continue to search his eyes in an attempt to find further explanation as to why this is so important to him? Why so persistent? I know it is in his character; he has always been determined, always the winner, but why now, what is he winning? What could I be losing? I just don’t understand. He must have sensed my analytical mind switching into gear because his voice interrupts my thoughts in their tracks.
‘Enough! The time is now,’ he proclaims in a booming voice. ‘Make your decision.’
‘Is it really my choice, Jeremy?’ My voice shakes with emotion.
‘It is always your choice, Alex, never forget that. You didn’t have to promise and I am not forcing you to stay. I am simply outlining the conditions if you do.’
Oh, Jeremy, the supreme mastermind.
He takes my hands and gently leads me to the second bedroom suite. I can feel my heartbeating faster by the second. I can’t decipher whether it is due to the absinthe, adrenaline or sheer emotion. I try to twist slightly away from his grip, without success. Oh god, I think, what have I gotten myself into? As my eyes scan the room, I notice an elegant silk blindfold cascading over the edges of a petite, expensive looking box — it is the same colour as my dress and interwoven with delicate black lace. Alongside it is a velvet face cloth, a tiny bottle of ointment and some eye drops laid out on the bedside table. My heart pounds erratically as my feet become firmly planted at the door.
There is a voice in my head screaming Walk away now, right now! Move your feet and run. You are giving him complete control. It is wrong, you don’t want this. You are a mother, a wife. Move, get going. Do not become a part of this.’ Another voice says in three simple words Bring it on! I begin to tremble. Jeremy hugs me possessively. Like a big brown bear paradoxically in love with its prey. My arms fall limp by my side.