Nobody Said It’d be Easy

  When he felt her body vibrate, then relax, he knew he had her. “Come home with me, Lia. Come home and let me show you.”

  He took her hand, tugged gently. When she stepped down with him, he silently cheered.

  *

  They sat on Gabriel’s sofa, pretending to watch TV and Gabriel was in love with her. The girls were in their beds and Lia knew she should return to her own apartment but Gabriel was in love with her. She’d gotten no work of her own done today and now that it was nearly eleven o’clock, was too tired to think about anything—except Gabriel being in love with her.

  Holy God.

  He loved her. He said the words, all three of them. This…this was unreal.

  She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. He had an arm around her shoulders, rubbed a thumb in soft little circles on her upper arm, occasionally moving higher to touch her hair.

  He was a toucher. He enjoyed it, reveled in it like a man…

  Oh, God. She forced herself to finish the thought. Like a man starved for affection. It was so on the nose, she felt her face blaze guiltily for thinking it. Since they’d begun sleeping together, he couldn’t keep his hands off her—not that she was complaining. She loved being the focus, the object, and the target of his desire. But it was hard to ignore that little voice inside her that kept asking if this was real. He hardly knew her. She hardly knew him. When was his birthday? What was his favorite meal, his favorite movie, his favorite book? Was he allergic to anything? She didn’t even know what faith he practiced, what political party he supported, what music he listened to. But she wanted to. She wanted to know every little thing about him.

  “I can hear your brain working all the way over here.”

  His voice, rough with fatigue, startled her. She looked at him, managed a close-lipped smile and a shrug.

  “Problem?”

  She shook her head.

  “Uh-huh.” He gave her the side-eye. “I’m not buying that.” He shifted on the sofa so he could face her. “Spill.”

  Oh, God! She scooted back and shook her head. He moved closer, cradled her face between his hands.

  “Lia. Talk to me. Please?”

  She wasn’t sure if it was the concern she heard in his voice or the please he tacked on to his demand, but suddenly, she was blabbering. “You said you love me. You’re in love with me. How? Why? I mean, we hardly know each other, except for, you know, biblically. I could be an ax murderer. I could be a champion yodeler or a clingy, suspicious witch or—or—I don’t know, a compulsive shopper. You can’t know!”

  The frown between his eyebrows disappeared as his expression turned to one of shock. “Lia, I do love you. I am in love with you.” He kissed her cheeks. “I know everything I need to know. The rest is part of the thrill.” He kissed her mouth.

  “But—”

  “Stop. You know I’ve done this before. I know how I feel.”

  Rather than reassuring her, that only made her feel more worried. “So you love me because I’m like her? Janey?”

  “No!” Gabriel’s blue eyes popped wide. “We’ve already had this conversation. Come on. Tell me why you’re really freaking out.”

  Freaking out, was that was she was doing? Insulted she narrowed her eyes. “I’m trying to understand, Gabriel. Jared said he loved me, he was in love with me—”

  “I am not Jared. You are not Janey.” His voice held the distinct tone of impatience.

  “Shhh!” Lia waved a hand and indicated the hallway where the girls’ bedroom was.

  He blew out a sigh, took her hands in both of his, and lowered his voice. “Lia, I know what I need to know,” he repeated. “You love kids. I happen to have four, so that’s a plus. You’re smart, which is also handy. I like being able to tell you about my work without having to explain all the basics first. I love having you teach me stuff I never knew.”

  She lifted her eyes to his at that. Jared always hated when she tried to make things easier for him.

  Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. “I get that your ex-husband hurt you bad. But I’m not him and it’s not fair for you to judge me by his mistakes. He’s a scar for you. And maybe I rushed things by telling you how I feel—” At her raised eyebrow, he raised his hands, palms up. “Okay, fine. Let’s just admit I did. That’s a scar for me. Now that we know this about each other, we can work around it.”

  “How?” she asked over the lump of dread blocking her throat.

  “By committing, Lia. By giving this,” he answered, waving a hand between them. “Us. Our relationship. Whatever you want to call us, Lia, we promise to make it a priority until you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure?” she echoed.

  “I already am.”

  “But how?” she asked again. “I mean, you had a legitimate freak-out when Emmy ran to me instead of you.”

  He nodded. “I did. That’s true. That was a daddy reaction. But now it factors in to the whole in love with you thing.”

  Frowning, she shook her head. “How?”

  “It means I’m right to trust you. Those girls,” he continued, stabbing a finger toward the hall, “are my life. When I leave them with you, I am literally putting my life in your hands.”

  She shook her head again. “You do that with Mike and with Mrs. Morgan, too. But you’re not in love with them.”

  “Maybe not in love with them but I love them, Lia. Don’t doubt that for a second.”

  Mollified, she managed a shaky smile. “You confuse me, Gabriel.”

  His eyebrows shot up at that.

  “You talk about love and commitment like most guys talk about sports and—”

  He slapped a hand in the air. “Hold it. I have this really strong suspicions you’re about to lay another Jared comparison on me.”

  “Not just Jared. Every man I’ve known,” she responded on a furious whisper. “Starting with my father. Boys I knew in college. Scars, remember?”

  She’d tossed his own words back at him and he had to pull in a slow breath to steady his temper. “Right. You’re right,” he conceded. “What you’re saying is you need time.”

  Relieved, she nodded. “Yes.”

  “Okay. I’ll do my best to be patient, but you need to understand my scar, Lia.”

  “I do—”

  He shook his head. “No. You can’t because you haven’t lived it. I was deeply, certainly, completely in love once before. I waited too long to tell her and almost lost her. When I did get her, we got only ten years of that rest of our lives we’d so naively thought would be forever. That one stingy decade taught me that nothing is promised, Lia.”

  Gabriel paused, and slid closer to her, ran his hands up her arms to her face, cradled it gently in his hands. “Lia, I’m thirty-seven years old. If I make it to seventy or eighty, that gives me three, maybe four decades left, if I’m lucky.”

  She felt that quick punch of fear shudder through her. She got his point. The years go by fast…and there was no guarantee anybody got that many.

  “I never planned on doing this again. I didn’t believe it was possible for me to love again but now that I know I can, wasting a single second of that time is like asking me to cut off a limb.”

  She nodded, put her hand to his cheek. “Your scar.” She could understand his rush, maybe try to meet him somewhere in the middle. “Okay, Gabriel. Okay.” She kissed him. “Give me your patience and I’ll try to stop looking for your way out.”

  He grinned, kissed her quick. “Deal.”

  He pulled back, but she held him longer, took the kiss deep. Slow and steady. She needed to feel more than lust tonight. She needed to feel connected, feel treasured, feel sure. Under her fingertips, Gabriel’s blood thrummed and his pulse galloped. When he groaned in her mouth for more, she hushed him, and pressed a series of feather-light kisses to the bare skin of his belly after she slowly slid off his shirt. By the time they finally made it to his bed, he was almost incoherent but still, she moved with deliberation. She planned to stay tonight. She planned to
make this last all night.

  But after they were done, long after Gabriel had fallen asleep, sprawled naked on his stomach with one arm thrown over her waist, she couldn’t relax, couldn’t turn off her mind. Shortly after three a.m., she slid out of Gabriel’s bed and went back to her own apartment, collapsed on her sofa, and told herself to stop questioning it. He loved her.

  So why was she unable to sleep?

  Chapter Sixteen

  As the holidays and school vacation loomed closer, Gabe’s daughters seemed to sleep less. At least, that’s how it felt to him. He wanted more time with Lia, but circumstances seemed to conspire against him. Besides his building manager duties, there were presents to wrap and decorations to hang and cookies to bake and various parties and gatherings to attend, like Maddie’s class party, at which he was expected to supply a game of some sort.

  Games. He shook his head. When he was in school, parents supplied cupcakes and donuts and candy. Today, it was all about alternatives. He had no idea what kind of game a classroom full of first graders could play so he grabbed his tablet while Emmy took her nap and started browsing.

  Just as he got settled, a knock sounded on his door. He opened it to find Lia on his doorstep, looking hot in a pair of jeans and red jacket. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” she replied and pushed him against the door as it closed.

  “Whoa. Someone’s happy to see me.” Gabe grinned. “What was that for?”

  “Congratulate me. I just landed a new client. A big new client.”

  Gabe’s grin widened. “You did it? The recruiting company? Holy cow, that’s awesome.” He spun her around. “This calls for a celebration.” He put her down, headed for the kitchen. “How about coffee?”

  Shaking her head, she unzipped her jacket and tossed it over a kitchen chair. “I’m too buzzed for caffeine. Gabriel, this is huge! Rave Recruiting wants me to manage their LinkedIn presence. I’ll be writing articles, setting up a calendar of posts, tracking engagement. And, they’re planning some job fairs they want me to help organize, which will really put my name in the right ears…”

  He was happy for her. Of course he was. Okay, no. He wasn’t. Time was already stretched so thin between them, he practically needed to hire her just so they could get together. He wanted more time, not less and—

  And he was an ass.

  Look at her. Just look at her. She paced his living room, talking with huge hand gestures, her face flushed and that soft husky voice dripping with pride and enthusiasm.

  “…And if that goes as well as I have every reason to believe it will, she says she knows two other good matches, one who’s got a real knack for PR and the other who’s a former librarian who’s a demon with research.”

  Patience, he reminded himself. Patience. He went back to the sofa, grabbed his tablet. “You’ll get it done. You’re magic, remember?”

  She flashed him that smile, the one that screamed I already know that but thanks for agreeing and he grinned right back, the one that said Oh yeah, I’m sure.

  She went still, eyes glued to his. Yep. She was starting to believe him. The ring tucked in his underwear drawer suddenly called to him.

  Not yet.

  “What are you up to?” she asked, joining him on the sofa, angling her head to see the screen.

  “Research. Maddie’s holiday party at school.”

  “Oh, fun! I’ve got a really easy Santa Claus snack you can make out of strawberries, grapes, and banana slices.”

  He grinned. Of course she did. He hadn’t missed the way her eyes lit up when he said the R word. Research was fun to her. “Nope. I have to provide a game.”

  “Ooo, for how many kids?”

  “Uh, twenty-eight.”

  “Okay. I got you covered. Don’t go away.” She leaped up, grabbed her jacket and disappeared out the door and Gabe kicked himself. Why the hell had he said anything? Lia had knocked on his door in the middle of the afternoon, three out of four kids were in school and the fourth was asleep and he’d let the opportunity go?

  Oh, he was definitely off his game.

  Lia was back in ten minutes, handing him a plastic bag.

  “Here.”

  “What’s all this?” he said, peeking inside the bag.

  “Everything you need to make a holiday punch board.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “What—Never mind.” He dropped the bag and lunged for her, got his mouth on hers before she could squeal, backed her up toward his bedroom. By his estimate, they had forty minutes before Emmy would wake up and he planned to use every one of them.

  “But what about—”

  “Later. Naked now,” he whispered, locking his bedroom door.

  It didn’t take forty minutes.

  Twenty minutes later, they were both sweaty, panting, and smiling just as Emmy let out a cry. Lia was still wearing one sock.

  “Dad-dee!”

  *

  With a grunt, Gabriel crawled over Lia, tugged on his pants and went to free his youngest daughter. Lia lay there for another minute, trying to catch her breath. Good Lord, what was that? How did he do all those amazing things to her so fast? She remained there for five more minutes, listening to Gabriel help Emmy use the potty.

  “Bye-bye, poo!”

  “We really don’t need to wave good-bye to it, E-Rex.”

  “Where go, Dad-dee?”

  “It goes in the sewer.”

  “Aww.”

  “It’s okay. It likes it there.”

  Lia giggled helplessly in his bed.

  Emmy gasped. “Whas dat?”

  “Emmy, no—”

  “Eee-uh!” A half-naked toddler climbed up on Gabriel’s bed and pounced on Lia. “Hi! Hi, Eee-uh. Mwah.” Emmy kissed Lia’s face with a loud smack. “Dad-dee! Eee-uh’s in da big bed.”

  “Okay, okay, let’s let Lia get dressed, Emmy.”

  The expression on the baby’s face turned comical and before he could stop her, she’d lifted the covers and exposed Lia’s naked body. Her eyes and her little mouth formed perfect circles of shock. “Eee-uh’s nake-y, Dad-dee.”

  “Come here, you little mood-killer.” Gabriel snagged Emmy, lifted her high in the air, making her squeal.

  Lia, still giggling, met Gabriel’s eyes over the baby’s sleep-tousled head.

  This is gonna get complicated, they told her.

  Bring it, she said with her own.

  He strode out of the room with a laugh.

  *

  Safely redressed, Lia met Gabriel and Emmy in the kitchen where he was unpacking the bag she’d brought over. Emmy was buckled into her high chair with a cup and apple slices. Gabriel was still half-dressed.

  “Okay, so what’s this poke game you mentioned?”

  “Super easy,” she assured him, digging into the bag herself. “I’ve got some inexpensive ornaments and holiday treats. We put one item inside each of these cups, cover the mouth of the cup with tissue paper in assorted colors, and then glue the cups to a large piece of poster or cardboard. The children earn a punch through the tissue-paper by correctly answering a question and win whatever’s inside.”

  Gabriel blinked at her. “This…you…this is awesome. Thank you.”

  Lia smiled. “I was thinking we could do a snowflake, to make it more universal.”

  “Snowflake.” He decided, pulling out white, silver, and blue tissue paper. “Wait.” He put the papers down, turned to her. “What were you planning to use all this stuff for?”

  Lia waved a hand. “For the kids in the building. I was going to invite little Mason from next door, plus the Danners’ son and your girls over for some cookies and games.”

  He studied her face and she had to fight the urge to squirm.

  “Lia. I’ll find something else.”

  No. She needed to do this. “Gabriel, it’s okay. I want to help. Really. Come on. Let’s get started. We’ve got a lot of cups to fill.”

  He took her hand, drew her into his arms, hugged her. “Are you sure abou
t this?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then let’s get started.”

  She laughed, pecked his nose. “First, you need to get dressed. You’re entirely too distracting like this.”

  “Oh. Am I?” His voice went deeper and that look came back into his eyes.

  “Dress. Now.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a little salute and took off down the hall.

  “Me! Kiss.” Emmy demanded from her high chair so Lia went to her and kissed her little nose.

  Gabriel had a large foam board left over from one of Liv’s science projects. He grabbed a pencil and sketched out a snowflake pattern. Watching him sketch was an unexpected thrill. The way he held the pencil, the way figures took shape under his hand, mesmerized her. It didn’t take them long to cover the cups with tissue paper and glue them down.

  “This is great, Lia. I’ll stick this on top of my dresser so it doesn’t get Emmy-fied.”

  Lia laughed. “Good idea.” She began cleaning all the scraps, tossing them into the trash. She glanced at the clock on the oven and called back to Gabriel, “Hey, when are you picking up the girls?”

  “About half an hour.” He walked back into the kitchen as Emmy ran into her bedroom.

  “Have you shopped for them yet? For the holidays?”

  Gabriel frowned. “Um, well.” He scratched his neck, something she noted he did when he was uncomfortable. “Some. I ordered a bunch of stuff online.”

  “You can use my place to hide it all. I can even wrap it for you.”

  “Oh, well I just shipped it upstate to their grandparents’ house. We’re spending Christmas there.”

  A pang of longing squeezed her heart. “Oh.” Of course he’d have traditions and plans. He had a family.

  “Hey, why don’t you see if you can clear your Friday afternoon to bake with us. That’s what we’re doing on Friday. The girls are off for two weeks, so I wanted some time with them before I drop them upstate with Janey’s parents.”

  At her blank expression, he elaborated. “You know…so I can build those beds.”