Nobody Said It’d be Easy

  “I texted her, too.”

  “Well?” Roseann prodded. “If you make me wear a fuchsia bridesmaid’s dress, I’m replacing you as my best friend.”

  “I haven’t said yes.”

  Roseann’s head tilted. “What?”

  “I didn’t say yes.”

  “You turned the Super Man down?” The note of incredulity in her best friend’s voice told her Roseann thought that was a mistake.

  “No. I told him I need time to think about it.”

  “Oh, honey. Your parents have you so screwed up—”

  “It’s not that!” Lia snapped. “It’s just…I can’t mess this up, Ro. It’s too important. He is too important. I can’t hurt him. I’d die if that happened.”

  “And how is he taking that?”

  “He’s…impatient. He hasn’t been over here since he asked. But he’s not ignoring me or anything. He’s just…doing exactly what I asked.”

  “Okay, so why do you sound so sad? You’re not still hung up on Jerk-Off, are you?”

  Lia stared at Roseann. “Actually, I’ve hardly thought about him since I moved here. You were right about that, Roseann.”

  She waved a hand. “I usually am.” She sat up in her bed, the image shaking until she got herself settled. “Honey, you’re crazy about him.”

  “I am,” Lia admitted.

  “Then where’s the downside?”

  Lia sighed and put her chin in her hand. “He’s been so hurt, Ro. He told me he planned to just waste time until…until death. He never planned on…on me, but now that he knows he’s in love with me, he doesn’t want to waste another minute.” She squeezed her eyes shut, the honesty of his simple statement just too sad to bear.

  “Lia, how do you feel?”

  “I’m in love with him, too. With all of them.” She spread her hands apart. “Roseann. This is the most important decision of my entire life. If I mess this up, I hurt five people I love.”

  Roseann sighed. “Okay, honey. You want to be logical about this, so let’s give that a shot.” She sat up, folded her legs and leaned forward. “A, you say no. You hurt five people you love and who love you back. Maybe they get over it. Maybe they don’t. B, you say yes. You get married again. Things are great for a while and then, a year or two down the road, he cheats.”

  Lia’s head snapped up.

  “Hey, you wanted to be logical about this. You never thought Jared would cheat, did you?”

  Lia was forced to shake her head to that.

  “Okay, then. So, you get a few good years, it doesn’t work out. Oh, no!” She waved her hands. “A bad decision. You win.”

  “Win?” Lia would hardly call this winning. “That’s not what this is about—”

  “You’re right. That’s not what this is about.” Roseann agreed. “This is about you being afraid.”

  I fought what was happening between us because I was afraid, he’d said. I’m done with that.

  Why couldn’t she be?

  “Or, C. You get married. And it works, because you both make it work, every day, for the rest of your lives.” When Lia said nothing, Roseann cursed. “Lia, you both were married before, so you know exactly what it means. It’s not all white dresses and champagne. You found a guy who’s going into this with none of those delusions, a guy willing to make that commitment, to do that work. Don’t compare him to Jared. It’s not fair—to either of you.”

  “But Jared was—”

  “A mistake. Yes. I know.” Roseann sighed. “Did you ever think maybe that was a good thing?”

  “What?”

  “Lia. Jared showed you how to know the real thing when it came along and be smart enough to grab it with both hands.”

  A little frisson of hope flared in Lia’s heart.

  *

  Over the next week, Lia saw so little of Gabriel, she wondered if he’d left town. When she’d see one of the girls walk by her window with Mrs. Morgan and ask about him, it was always “Oh, he’s in Unit Q, fixing a faucet.” Or, “He’s in the basement, doing the recycling.”

  On a gray and gloomy Thursday in the beginning of February, she sat facing her kitchen window with her laptop and cell phone and her shoes on. When he walked by, she’d catch him. School started in half an hour. He’d be leaving any minute now, carrying Emmy in his arms, holding Maddie’s hand, Kimberly and Olivia behind them.

  “Oh my God.”

  This was what she’d done—exactly what she’d done—after Jared left her. Sat with her nose pressed against the window of the apartment they’d used to share, just so she could get a glimpse of him with his new family. It was like…picking at a scab.

  This was ridiculous.

  She was ridiculous.

  Gabriel was an incredible man. He’d been with one woman since college. Olivia had told her about all the women who’d tried so hard to impress him. He never accepted a single invitation so why was she so stupidly unable to trust what they both felt?

  She shut her laptop with a soft snap, stood up, collected her coat, hat, gloves, and bag. A change of scenery. Some fresh air. Maybe she’d head into the city this weekend, talk Roseann and Vivian into a nice dinner. With one arm tucked into her jacket, she pulled open her front door and stepped out—right into Gabriel, standing a step below her.

  “Oh!”

  “Hey, Lia.”

  He grinned that lightning-fast smile of his, the one that always made her think she’d imagined it. A smile mirage. She tripped, would have fallen, but he caught her before she fell.

  He caught her.

  “You okay?”

  “No. Yeah. I’m fine. Just…surprised.”

  He winced and looked down at his feet. “Yeah. I’m sorry to bother you—”

  “You’re not. Bothering me. I’m…happy to see you.”

  “Yeah? I’m happy that makes you happy.”

  His hands were still on her shoulders. He dropped them abruptly and a shiver crawled down her spine. God, she missed him.

  Her mind suddenly re-engaged. “Oh, you must be on your way to school to drop off the girls?”

  He shook his head. “I dropped off Kim and Liv but I’m keeping Maddie home. She’s running a fever.”

  “Oh no.”

  He looked…tired, she decided. Tired. Sad. Frustrated. Here he was, standing at her door, running a hand through his hair that had gotten too long again. His nails were blue today. The happy color made her smile.

  He stepped up another step so that they were on the same level. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too.”

  He waited for her to say something else…something more. But she couldn’t get the words out.

  He frowned but said, “I have to get back and relieve Mrs. Morgan.” He waved a hand toward his door. “I came by to, you know, see how things are going, see if there’s any way I can ask you to do something for me.”

  “Things are good, Gabriel. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I know how you must feel—”

  “Do you?”

  His usual impatience peeked through the mask of civility he’d worn since she opened her door and rather than make her mad, she found it oddly charming.

  “I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “You wanted time and I’m trying to give it to you, I swear.”

  “I know and I love you for it. I know you don’t understand this, but I’m trying so hard to make sure I don’t hurt you or your girls. I know you hate when I bring up Jared, but it’s not that. My parents despise each other and well, it’s just so easy to make a mistake. That was fine when it was just me but I can’t risk it with your children.”

  His eyes searched her face and then he sighed. “Okay. I can’t fault you for that.” He turned to go.

  “Wait. You said something about a favor?”

  “Right.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve had another long night. My brain’s foggy. Maddie’s fever is about a hundred and three. I’ve been pumping her up with Children’s Tylenol but can’t get
it lower than a hundred, which is why she’s home today. But Jim called and needs me in the city. There’s a crisis. I’ve been going in almost every day for a few hours. Mrs. Morgan’s been great about the extra hours, says it’s not a problem but…well, she’s elderly. I’d feel better knowing you were nearby and able to help, should she need you?”

  “Yes. Yes, absolutely.”

  “You’re sure? I remember you said you had some appointments this week?”

  For a minute, she was blank. “Oh, right. Interviews. Jessica next door? She gave me some names so yeah, I’ve already been in contact with them and—” Abruptly, she stopped talking.

  “And what?”

  She waved a hand. “Sorry. I was babbling about my work when you have your own to get to.” Jared had always hated when she did that. “Are you leaving for the train right now?”

  He shook his head. “Gonna go kiss my girl good-bye first, make sure she’s feeling okay before I do.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Lia turned and locked her front door.

  Inside Gabriel’s living room, Mrs. Morgan was on the sofa while Emmy played with a toy shopping cart and cash register.

  “She’s asleep, Gabriel,” Mrs. Morgan said. “She complained of a bad stomach ache but I gave her that next dose you mentioned.”

  Gabriel pressed his lips together and sighed. “I hate this. You know how I get when they’re sick.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  After a minute, he finally said, “Okay.” He grabbed his bag, crouched beside Emmy and got a bunch of kisses. “You be good, E-Rex, okay?”

  “’Kay, Dad-dee. Love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby. See you later. Oh, and Lia?” When she looked up at him, he added, “It’s not babbling when you talk about your work. I like hearing about it. I like how you get all fired up whenever about it.” With one long look at her, he left.

  “Lee-uh. Play store!”

  “I have to—Emmy! Good girl. You said my name correctly.”

  Mrs. Morgan laughed. “We’ve been practicing our L sounds. I’ve told Mr. Ivers I think her speech will develop just fine at its own pace, but he thinks she might need some fancy speech lessons.”

  That had been her doing, Lia realized. She’d done more research, given Gabriel a list of speech pathologists.

  It warmed her down to her bone marrow that he’d been listening.

  After Emmy had filled her toy shopping cart a few dozen times, Mrs. Morgan cleared her throat. “That man is purely in love with you.”

  “Feelings can change,” she replied. Her parents had taught her that too well.

  To her shock, Mrs. Morgan slapped her hand. “Of course feelings can change. What a crock of sewage! Only things sure in this world are death and taxes, missy. You want sure, become a mortician.”

  “Lee-uh. Pee-pee.” Emmy wiggled and clasped a hand to her crotch.

  Thank God, she thought as she hustled the wiggling toddler to the bathroom.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  A loud knock on her door that night startled Lia out of sleep. With her heart galloping, she hurried to the back door, peeked out the window and found Kimberly in nothing but her pajamas.

  “Kimberly, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” she said as soon as she flung open the door.

  “Lia, you have to come.” She clutched at Lia’s hands, pulled hard. “It’s Maddie. Something’s wrong. She’s not just sick. I think she’s dying.” The girl’s voice cracked.

  “Where’s your dad?” Lia ran for her jacket, the bag with keys and phone, followed Gabriel’s daughter out the back door still wearing pajamas and slippers.

  “Still at work. I tried calling, but he’s not answering. I think his phone might be dead because it’s going straight to voice mail.”

  “Okay, okay. Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll do what I can.”

  Lia stepped into Gabriel’s apartment to find Maddie screaming in the bathroom, hair plastered to her face. Olivia was wild-eyed with fear, trying to hold Emmy, also crying. Mrs. Morgan was in a state.

  Lia never should have left her alone but the elderly woman had insisted Lia go home.

  “Oh, Miss Blake, I don’t know what else I can do for the poor child. Her fever is still up and now she says her stomach hurts so bad, she can’t walk.”

  Oh, God. Lia’s heart almost stopped. Think. Think, damn it! Fever. Pain.

  “Maddie! Maddie, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?”

  “Lia,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around Lia’s neck. “I have to poop, but I can’t. My butt hurts and my back and my belly and my legs and everything!”

  Lia’s blood went cold. She’d once done some research for one of her authors on the signs of appendicitis. This sounded like every one of them.

  “Okay, okay, baby. I need to check something. Can you sit up for me?”

  “It hurts,” she cried.

  “I know. I’ll be fast.” As soon as Maddie let go of her neck, Lia lifted her pajama top. “Show me where it hurts the worst.”

  “Here. My belly button.”

  Gently, Lia pressed her hand to Maddie’s middle and released. Tears filled Lia’s eyes when the child screamed again. “It hurts everywhere, Lia!”

  At that, Lia’s heart did stop. She turned to Olivia. “Liv. Would you please get you and Emmy dressed to go outside?”

  “Outside? Why? Where are we going? What’s wrong with her, Lia?”

  She took a deep breath. She couldn’t lie to these children. She just couldn’t. “To the hospital.” Lia wasn’t sure exactly sure if this was appendicitis, but knew one thing. No run-of-the-mill virus ever caused screams like this.

  Olivia’s face crumbled. “Oh, God. Where’s Daddy, Lia? Where?”

  “Clothes. Right now. Kimberly, will you help? I need you all to be strong now and keep Emmy calm. Mrs. Morgan, will you please pack snacks and cups of milk into Emmy’s bag?”

  “Yes. Yes, I can do that.”

  It took Lia close to fifteen precious minutes to get all four Ivers girls dressed for winter, not to mention Mrs. Morgan. She’d found Gabriel’s car keys, put a scared and trembling Emmy into her car seat, and then organized Maddie under some blankets with Mrs. Morgan holding her tight. Kim rode in the front with her and Olivia took the third seat. She started the car, turned the heater to blast, and stepped outside to furiously scrape the frost from the windows, praying the whole time.

  At this late hour, there was little traffic and she pulled up to the hospital only fifteen minutes later, her palms sweating. Thirty-five minutes. It had been about thirty-five minutes since Kimberly pounded on her door.

  Maddie’s cries hadn’t stopped.

  They’d gotten worse.

  Lia didn’t bother to park. She drove straight to the emergency room’s entrance and leaned on the horn. A security guard rushed to her door. “I have a six-year-old girl with severe abdominal pain and fever. I think it’s her appendix.”

  “Stay here.” He disappeared into the sliding doors, returning a minute later with a wheelchair.

  “Kim. Can you carry Emmy, please? Liv, take the bag.” Lia jumped from the SUV, carefully lifted Maddie from Mrs. Morgan’s arms and put her in the wheelchair, tucking the blankets around her.

  “What your name, Miss?”

  “Amelia Blake.”

  “I’ll park the vehicle, get your keys to you.”

  Lia didn’t spare a thought to the car. She checked that all four girls plus Mrs. Morgan were accounted for and ran inside.

  The next hour was a blur.

  Maddie was examined, poked and prodded, an IV inserted into the back of one hand. Her abdominal pain was so bad, she barely noticed the needle in her hand. Lia tried Gabriel’s cell number repeatedly. No response. Next, she tried looking for Paradigm itself, found a number, but got an automated answering system. It took ten more minutes to find an emergency number, which got her to their security department. Quickly, she relayed the reason for the call, got a promise from t
he man who answered that he’d radio the crew who had been working around the clock ever since the crisis—whatever it was—began.

  A woman who identified herself as Dr. Kuo stepped toward her, led her outside into a hall. “Okay, Mommy. We got Madison’s blood work back and her white count is extremely elevated. We’re running antibiotics now but we’re gonna want to get her into surgery as soon as we can. I’ll have a nurse bring you the consent forms, but meanwhile, can you tell me when she last ate?”

  Lia cursed. “She hasn’t eaten since breakfast,” she relayed what Mrs. Morgan had told her. “But I’m not her mother. I’m her neighbor.”

  Dr. Kuo’s eyebrows shot up. “Where are her parents?”

  “I’m trying to reach her father now. Her mother died two years ago.”

  “Any other next of kin I can speak to?”

  Frantically, Lia tried to think. She could call Mike but only had a cell number for him. It was nearly two a.m. She could try to find Linda and Stuart’s number.

  “Yes. Let me try to reach her grandparents.”

  She went back to the girls. Maddie was curled in a ball on her side, sleeping. Mrs. Morgan held Emmy on her lap. “Kimberly, do you know your grandparents’ phone number or your uncle Mike’s?”

  She bit her lip. “I really want my dad, Lia.”

  “I know, sweetheart. I’ve got the company’s security guards getting word to him. Right now, I need to call your other relatives. Can you call Grandma?”

  “Um. I think so.” She took Lia’s phone, dialed a number. Lia heard Stuart’s sleepy voice answer. “Grandpa.” And then she burst into tears.

  Lia took the phone. “Stuart, this is Lia. I’m at the hospital with the girls. It’s Maddie. We suspect appendicitis but we can’t reach Gabriel. He’s on a job site. I think a structure collapsed so his phone’s either dead or has no signal. They need consent for surgery and I can’t give it. I didn’t know who else to call.” She gave them the name of the hospital and location.

  “We’re on our way. We’ll be there in an hour.”

  “Grandma and Grandpa are coming,” Lia told the frightened children.