Nobody Said It’d be Easy

“Mmmm, this cow is yummy,” Olivia taunted.

  “Olivia. Would you like to go to bed now, too?”

  She instantly settled down.

  “Ooo, I know! Let’s have chocolate milk, Daddy, okay? Huh, can we, please?”

  “No, Maddie.”

  “Pleeeeeease?”

  “No.” His voice rose and everybody magically went silent. He cleared his throat. “We need to have a family meeting.”

  Kimberly’s fork froze halfway to her mouth and her eyes snapped to his. “Why? What’s wrong?”

  Gabe opened his mouth only to shut it again. Where the hell did he start? “Um.”

  “Are you gonna die, Daddy?” Maddie asked quietly.

  He could only gape at his daughter.

  “Dad?” Olivia, this time.

  Gabe jerked. “No. No, sweetheart, I’m fine. I’m not sick. Everything’s fine.”

  “Then why, Daddy? We do we have to have a meeting?” Maddie asked.

  He dropped his fork, sucked in a deep breath. “Okay. So, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. Like living here.” He didn’t miss the look his two eldest daughters shared. “It’s been two years since Mommy died, a bit over a year since we moved here.”

  “I really miss her, Daddy.” Maddie’s lower lip quivered.

  “Me too, Ducky.” He coughed once. “I took this job so I could stay home with you guys but…I don’t know if it’s working out. All of you sharing a bedroom, getting on each other’s nerves. I have an idea for giving us all some privacy. So I wanted to talk to you about maybe moving again. Getting a bigger place. More room. But I’d have to go back to work to make that happen and that means…”

  “You won’t be here. And we’d be alone.” Olivia slouched in her seat, her meatloaf untouched.

  From her high chair, Emmy quietly watched everybody, sensing their tension.

  “No. No, Newton, you wouldn’t be all alone. I was thinking maybe part-time. I’d have to find a babysitter for Emmy, but if I did most of the work while you all are in school, you won’t even know I’m gone.”

  “And we could move to a house with a backyard and lots of rooms?” Olivia asked.

  “Eventually. But I was thinking we might be able to get a bigger apartment here so I could still be the super. For a while.” He waited a beat. “Well? Does anybody have anything to say?” He looked from Kimberly to Olivia to Maddie to Emmy and back to Maddie. She’d have something to say.

  “Don’t you love us anymore?”

  Her words were a lance straight through Gabe’s heart. He dropped to his knees next to Maddie’s chair. “I love you all to the moon and back, Maddie. Nothing will ever change that.”

  “Then how come you wanna leave us?”

  He cupped her cheek, hoping she didn’t notice how much his hand shook. “I’m not leaving you. But I need to go back to work so I can make more money and find us a bigger place to live.”

  “But—”

  “Maddie.” Kimberly took her sister’s hand. “Stop. Daddy misses his work, you know?”

  “Yeah,” his little chatterbox nodded solemnly. “I miss my work, too.”

  That made him laugh. “What work is that, Ducky?”

  She thought about it for a moment, her face screwed up in concentration. “I can’t remember. But it was ’portant.”

  “Oh, work is always important,” he agreed. “So, do we agree?”

  “Wait,” Kimberly said. “What about more privacy?”

  “Oh, right.” Gabe stood up, retrieved the notes he’d kept safe from little hands. “If I move my bed out here, in the living room, you and Olivia can share my room. Maddie and Emmy can keep your room.”

  “Awwww.” Maddie pouted. “But I’ll miss them. Will you miss me, too? Will you?” When her sisters said nothing, Maddie turned to Gabe. “Daddy, Kimby and Livvie aren’t gonna miss me!”

  “Maddie. Stop.” Gabe held up his hand while Kim and Liv exchanged excited glances.

  “We can have your whole room?” Olivia asked.

  “Yeah. I’ve been thinking of some things I can build you, like desks for homework.”

  “But, Daddy.” Maddie patted his arm. “Where’s your big bed gonna go?”

  “Right there.” Gabe pointed to the living room wall that held their sofa. “There are sofas that fold out into beds.”

  Kimberly put down her fork and looked at Olivia. “That doesn’t seem very fair.”

  “Hey, if it means peace settles across the Ivers land, I’m okay with it. So.” Gabe folded his hands. “Time to vote. Everybody okay with me working part-time?”

  Kimberly nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Liv?”

  She shrugged. “I guess.”

  “Maddie?”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  “Emmy?”

  “Cup!”

  “Close enough,” Gabe said with a laugh and handed his youngest daughter her cup.

  *

  The next morning, he stepped off the train at 10:25 and made his way up the stairs and through Penn Station to find the subway that would take him to the job site. He’d forgotten to get his hair cut. Again. But there were no plastic rainbow clips in it today.

  He’d checked twice.

  Another wave of anxiety coursed through him and he had to remind himself that he used to do this work every day. No reason he couldn’t handle it for a few hours.

  At five minutes to eleven, he found Jim, hard hat under his arm, cup of coffee in his hand, reviewing the plans for the project with a few workers.

  “Hey, Jim.”

  “Gabe! You made it.” He put the hat on, switched the coffee to his left hand and gave Gabe a hearty handshake. “This is Lou and this is Ramon. Lou’s the foreman and Ramon is the plumbing contractor doing the sprinkler systems.”

  The original goal of this project was to replace all the fire escapes on the exterior of a residential building. But Gabe had explained that the codes had changed. He’d recommended removing the fire escapes and reconstructing all interior stairwells to make them fireproof with self-closing doors, sprinkler systems, and connections to neighboring stairwells. It was an ambitious and expensive proposal, but the client accepted it because it was an investment that would pay for itself when he wanted to sell. The first few phases of the project had gone on without Gabe, like getting the designs drafted and approved, and then applying for the necessary permits, selecting and scheduling the various crews. He knew Ramon and Lou by reputation and was happy to be working with them.

  Gabe shook each man’s hand.

  “Nice nails.” Lou shot a smirk toward Ramon as he shook Gabe’s hand.

  Gabe shrugged. So much for reputations. He’d completely forgotten about the bright color. “Like it? My daughters picked it out. They’ll be happy to hear you like it, too.”

  “Oh, sure. Daughters. Got it.” Ramon laughed.

  “All right, let’s get to work,” Jim said, shaking his head. “Gabe’s job is to assist me with site supervision,” Jim told the other men. “You’ll keep him apprised of anything that knocks us off schedule, even for a minute—got it?”

  Gabe asked for copies of the SSP—the site safety plan—and asked clarifying questions about some of its content like materials safety and where first aid kits were located, should the need arise. He also asked to review the JHAs for each of the trades. Lou promised to get him those Job Hazard Assessments as soon as possible.

  The hours passed quickly. Gabe examined the job site and was satisfied the work performed so far met requirements. They walked through the site several times, making notes and marking the places where demo had already been done. He’d asked for more signs on a top-floor barricade, making sure it was clearly marked as a danger zone.

  At three o’clock, he left the other men with his cell number and instructions to call him if anything changed, and caught the subway back to Penn Station, anxious to see his girls.

  He’d missed them, of course. He’d expected that. What he hadn’t expecte
d was to feel like he’d had a limb amputated. He couldn’t wait to get home and hug the whole lot of them. But on the train ride home, it was thoughts of Amelia Blake that kept filling his head.

  Chapter Seven

  In her shiny new kitchen, Lia happily made herself some coffee and breakfast—cold cereal—grabbed her laptop and posted this week’s blog about taking good notes when you didn’t know shorthand. She called her blog Work Smart Not Hard and firmly believed note-taking was a dying art. She sipped her coffee and checked her email, where a message from one of her clients gave her an idea for another blog post—recipes for people who didn’t cook.

  And that sparked an even better idea…she’d start a newsletter for her new neighbors. Her mind fired off a bunch of ideas and she filled pages with notes on how to monetize it. When her cell rang, she nearly didn’t answer it.

  “Hi, Ro.”

  “She lives! Let me guess. You’ve been working every waking moment?”

  Lia laughed. “Yep.”

  “So the new place is working for you?”

  “Yes. You were right.”

  “I usually am,” Roseann said, making Lia laugh. “Now tell me why you haven’t been in touch.”

  Lia hesitated. Roseann had a way of cutting through all the bullshit, zeroing in to the heart of a matter, but she didn’t want to talk about what she already knew. Gabriel Ivers was off-limits. “I’m expanding my business, Ro. I wanted to do this over a year go. Hire staff, take on more clients, offer more services. Since the second I walked in the door here, I’ve been getting idea after idea.” All of this was true so Lia didn’t feel too bad about omitting Gabriel. “I’m launching a building-wide newsletter focusing on small spaces and time savers. I’m on my way to the neighborhood shops to sell ads so I can monetize it. Last night, I developed an online portfolio of other projects I’ve done. With luck, I may be able to secure advertising and new work at the same time.”

  “Whoa, you have been busy,” Roseann said. “Now tell me how you’re really doing.”

  “I think I’m in love with my super’s baby,” Lia blurted and then bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to say that. Why, why did she say it?

  “Your super’s baby,” Roseann repeated. “Oh, Lia. Honey.”

  “It’s okay, Ro. I met them the day I moved in. He had car trouble so I held the baby while he tried to fix the car.”

  “You held the baby.”

  “Oh, you should see her, Roseann. She’s completely adorable. Spitting image of her father. Big blue eyes, blonde curls just beginning to come in. I think she’s about two. She said I had pretty hair.” Pwetty, Emmy had said. And then she’d touched Lia’s hair.

  “Just like her father, huh? I’ve never met Gabriel Ivers. What’s he like?”

  Lia’s face grew warm while she tried to think of the right words. “He’s like, the most perfect father you can imagine. Ro, he had pink nail polish on and barrettes in his hair because his daughter likes to play dress-up or something.”

  “Wow.”

  “You should have seen it. The car is dead in the middle of the street. He’s standing there with the hair clips and the nail polish, wearing jeans, work boots and a T-shirt that’s got this picture of a pizza pie with a slice missing. Drivers are honking and cursing at him but he just opens the back door to the truck, takes out this baby and she’s wearing a T-shirt just like his, only hers is the single slice missing from his. They were just so…so…”

  “Lia.”

  “I know, I know! I’m not getting attached, really.”

  “You already are and you need to be careful. Ivers is off the market.”

  “I know,” Lia snapped. “I’m not Candi.”

  There was a long silence and then Roseann said, “Of course you’re not. I didn’t mean to imply anything by that. I don’t want to see you hurt more, Lia. You can understand my concern, right? You just told me you fell in love with this baby.”

  And this would be exactly why she’d been avoiding Roseann’s calls for the last week. She didn’t want to be psychoanalyzed.

  “Yeah. Sure. Can we talk later? I’m starving and need to head up to the shops.”

  Roseann didn’t bother to point out she’d called Lia’s cell. They both knew that was an excuse to end this conversation.

  “Lia, you don’t have to love someone else’s baby. I get that nothing I can do can fix your marriage or your body. But I can do something to help you become the mom you wanted to be. When you’re ready, when you’re sure, I’ll carry your baby for you. So would Viv.”

  Lia stopped breathing. A wave of pure love swamped over her. “God, Ro. Oh my God.” She squeezed her eyes shut. When she could speak again, she whispered, “You talked about this with Vivian?”

  “Yes,” Roseann said. “We know you. We’ll make sure you’ll be who you want to be. If that’s being a mother, you’ll have the option, I promise you.”

  The first tear fell then. “I…I love you.”

  “No, no, no! No crying! I told you this to cheer you up, not make you sadder.”

  “I’m not sad,” Lia objected. And she wasn’t. Not a bit.

  Not anymore.

  After she ended the call, Lia dried her tears, washed her face, repaired her makeup, and let her mind wander with all manner of possibilities. If Roseann and Vivian were truly serious, she could have a baby right now. There was no reason to wait. No need for a father. She could do this on her own. For the first time in more than a year, she felt…whole. With a huge happy smile, she grabbed her bag and left the apartment.

  Outside in the bright autumn sun, the air was blue with curses. She looked, found a woman pounding on the front door to one of the other units in her building.

  “Um, can I help you?” Lia asked.

  The woman whipped around. “Not unless you have a master key, no.”

  “Did you try the super?”

  Brown eyes rolled toward heaven. “Yeah. Not home. Neither are my roommates and I’ve been up for thirty-six hours straight now.”

  Lia took in the hospital scrubs and ID clipped to a pocket. “I’m Lia Blake. I live there.” She indicated her unit.

  “Oh, you took the vacant duplex. Great space. I’m Mei. I think. I’m not entirely sure I’m not dreaming this entire conversation.”

  Lia laughed. “Come on.” She took out her keys, led Mei to her own door. “You can use my guest room.”

  The woman’s brown eyes popped wide. “Seriously?”

  “We’re neighbors, aren’t we? Neighbors help each other.”

  “Honey, this is Bayside. Most neighbors never even meet each other.”

  “I’m working on that,” Lia revealed, leading Mei upstairs to one of the small bedrooms. “I’m sorry there’s no bed yet. But the sofa’s pretty comfortable and it’s yours for however long you need. We’ll hang something on the doorknob so I know you’re in here. When you leave, just leave the door open.”

  Mei stared at her, brown eyes wide with shock. “I think I’m gonna like you, Lia.”

  “You’re in healthcare, I see. Doctor? Nurse?” Lia found a sheet and pillow, arranged both on the sofa.

  “I’m a surgical intern at Flushing Hospital. How about you? What do you do?”

  “I’ve got my own business. I’m a virtual assistant. I juggle a bunch of clients, provide support services for them.”

  “That’s pretty cool. So how do you like our building so far?”

  “I really love it. It was a spur-of-the-moment move for me so I had some qualms.”

  “Uh-oh. Bad break-up?” Mei sat on the sofa, gave it a bounce, and leaned over to take off her Crocs.

  “Yes. Divorce. The ex decided to move upstairs with his mistress and new baby and I refused to let them rub my face in their happiness and that is probably way too much information for someone who’s been up for thirty-six hours. Sorry.” Lia flashed a sheepish grin.

  “Nope. It’s the perfect amount of information.” Mei stretched out on the couch. “That single
sentence tells me you’re a take-no-shit kind of person and I like that.”

  Amused, Lia smiled. “How about you? How long have you lived here?”

  “Uh, let’s see,” Mei pursed her lips. “I moved in after one of the other roommates didn’t work out. I have two. Alyssa and Demaris. They both work in the city. Alyssa’s in finance and Demaris is an event planner at the Javitz Center.” She curled her legs under her and regarded Lia thoughtfully. “You know, since you’re divorced and all, we have something in common. I’ve sworn off men now.”

  Laughing, Lia leaned on the doorframe. “Completely?”

  Considering, Mei admitted, “I wouldn’t say no if Thor or Captain America knocked on my door. Maybe.”

  “Wow. Sounds like you may be more jaded than I am.”

  “We’ll have to trade war stories sometime.”

  “I’d like that. Maybe one night, we can hang with pizza and a nice bottle of wine. A girls’ night. I’d love to meet your roommates, too.”

  At that, Mei rolled her eyes. “That’s gonna be tough. We’re rarely all home at the same time.”

  Lia stood up, headed for the door. “It was really nice meeting you. I’m heading out but I’ll be super quiet when I get back.”

  “Thanks for letting me crash here. Oh, one thing?”

  Lia stopped and turned to face Mei. “What’s that?”

  She ran a hand over her tousled hair. “The super. Have you met him yet?”

  “Mr. Ivers? Sure. He seems very nice. And such a good father.”

  “Oh, he is. Can you keep an eye out for him? Ask him for the key to my place so I can get in later? I have to be back at the hospital tonight.” Mei shut her eyes, turned onto her side.

  “Sure thing.” Lia hovered by the door, dying to ask the question. “Um, have you met his family?”

  “Family? I’ve met his kids, sure. But his wife’s gone. She died a few months after the baby was born. That’s why he moved here. So he could take care of his kids himself.” She cracked open one eye. “If you’re looking in that direction, you should know it’s futile. He never looks back.”

  “Got it. Okay. Sleep well.”

  Lia shut the door with a hand to her mouth. Dead. That beautiful smiling face on the refrigerator door in Gabriel’s apartment was gone?