The Fallout

  “No, it wasn’t!” I screamed at him.

  Dad looked as if I’d hit him.

  Eddy turned from Dad to me, and then asked, “How are you so sure?”

  I stood there, trying to catch my breath. My heart pounded and my face burned. “I know, because…”

  Lexie came up beside me and put a hand on my arm. She knew my secret. I’d told her and Mom in the Compound when we thought Dad was dying. She said, “Tell them.”

  I looked at Eddy. “It was my fault. I did it. I was the reason you were left out.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Visions of that night, the night of our ninth birthday, all came back to me.

  Our ninth birthday. We were excited to be almost in double digits. The annual big party was held the day before, so we could head to the cabin on the actual day. Dad’s acreage in eastern Washington was huge, with a ten-room log house we called the cabin. We had an RV, too, which we used to drive farther into the wilderness to go camping. Not that an RV was roughing it, but that’s what we called camping anyway.

  Gram came with us, sort of. She followed the RV with the Range Rover. She said she always liked to be prepared for emergencies. Although to her, an emergency might constitute running out of marshmallows for the s’mores we made over the campfire. A trip in the RV wasn’t a trip without Gram driving back to the cabin at least once.

  As we drove along, Dad told us he had a big surprise for us. And he did. He’d just bought a new two-seater airplane. It went along with the new landing strip in the middle of the property, which is where we went with the RV. It was already dusk when we reached the site, so Dad promised we’d go flying first thing in the morning. We’d flip a coin to see which birthday boy would go first. Of course, I wanted it to be me.

  We were getting ready for bed when Eddy started wheezing. Dad discovered a kitten in the RV. Terese admitted to finding it at the cabin, then smuggling it onto the RV. She started to cry and apologized to Eddy. She said she just wanted to make sure the kitten had a home.

  The RV medicine cabinet always had some antihistamine for Eddy, but Mom came back empty-handed. “We better go get some at the cabin.”

  Gram volunteered.

  Eddy said he felt better. Gram insisted. “Just let me tuck Terese in. I’ll take the kitten back to the cabin and get it set up in the garage.”

  Eddy and I crawled into bed. The airplane ride was still on my mind. “Hey, Eddy. I heard Dad and Gram talking. They said they have another surprise back at the cabin for us. What do you think it is?”

  Eddy’s eyes widened. He loved surprises.

  “Guess we’ll have to wait for tomorrow.” I rolled over and shut my eyes. I counted on the fact that Eddy also loved a mission.

  “Eli? I’ve got an idea.”

  “What?” I tried to stop them, but the corners of my mouth wanted to go up.

  “I could hop in the back of the Range Rover and go with Gram. I could find out what it is.”

  I sat up. “That’s a great idea. But you have to go now, while she’s with Terese.”

  Eddy opened the window and dropped to the ground. I lay back, grinning. I knew once Eddy was in the Range Rover with the kitten, he would start wheezing. And Gram would keep driving to the cabin; insist on staying there overnight. I would be the only birthday boy around in the morning when it was time to ride in Dad’s new plane.

  The rest I didn’t plan on: waking up to shouts, the RV moving wildly from side to side, falling out of bed. Then the darkness, running blind outside, Dad’s shouts telling us which way to turn …

  And then we were in the Compound. The silver door had shut and locked, not to be reopened for twenty years. And I had called for Eddy, even though I knew he wasn’t there.

  My lie had caused him to be left outside. And at that moment, and for six years after, I’d believed he was dead. Just as I believed my lie had killed him.

  Eddy stood there, mouth slack, thick creases in his forehead. “How could you do that?”

  “I was nine years old.” He was missing the point. “I felt guilty all those years.” I pointed at Dad. “Because he let me believe all those years that you were dead!”

  Eddy’s gaze moved slowly to our father, who was staring out at the water, and the sun that was slowly sinking. His face was entirely relaxed.

  “Dad,” I said. “Is this it? You don’t want to explain any of it to him?” My hope was that Eddy would realize how messed up Dad was. That he wouldn’t want anything to do with him, and he would fight to get us off the island.

  But Eddy turned to me. “Why are you doing this?”

  I froze. “Doing what?”

  Eddy shook his head. “You’re grasping. Somehow you’ve built this all up in your head, that Dad is evil.” He looked at Dad, who had turned to listen to him. Eddy continued, “But it was just a plan. Dad had a plan and now you’re all back and everyone’s fine.”

  Lexie scowled. “Eddy, seriously. You think we made it all up?”

  And I realized that we had left out all the bad parts about the Compound. We’d made it sound like we were fine there. Because it wouldn’t have done him or Gram any good to know the whole truth. So there was a lot that Eddy didn’t know. And maybe it was time he did.

  I turned to Dad. “Are you going to tell him about the yellow room or should I?”

  “No.” Lexie pulled on my sleeve. “Eli, don’t.”

  Dad ignored me and started walking again.

  “Stop!” I yelled. “Tell him! Tell him the frickin’ truth!”

  Eddy grabbed the collar of my T-shirt and bunched it up in his hand, pulling me toward him. “That’s enough. I get it. You felt guilty about what you did. But don’t start blaming it all on Dad.”

  And suddenly I had Eddy’s neck in my grasp and I pushed him backward into the sand. We rolled a few times, then I pinned him to the beach. Lexie had her arm around my neck and was trying to pull me back, while Dad had turned around to watch, an amused expression on his face.

  “You need to listen!” I yelled at Eddy. “You need to understand! Don’t you get it? He messed up the food supply! He tried to push us to the edge. He wanted to see what we would do to survive.” I looked up at Dad. “Tell him about the yellow room. Tell him.”

  Dad didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms.

  Eddy tried to shove me off him, and I slipped, so suddenly he had the upper hand and had rolled me over, so he was sitting on me. I was pinned, but it didn’t matter. I felt hot tears well up in my eyes as I yelled, “Tell him about the yellow room!”

  Eddy leaned down, almost to my face. “What! What was in the yellow room?”

  His knee was in my chest and it was hard to get a full breath.

  Lexie said, “Don’t, Eli! Don’t!”

  I squeezed my eyes shut but tears still managed to leak out. “The Supplements.”

  Lexie turned away.

  Eddy frowned. “I don’t know what that means.”

  My breathing was even more constricted, and I fought to get free, but he shoved me back. So I gave up and lay there. “Do you really want to know?”

  Eddy nodded.

  “The Supplements. Lucas. Quinn. Cara. What Finn would have been.”

  Eddy looked confused, and started to say something, then he stopped. Realization spread across his face and his mouth fell open. He looked over at our father. “What is he saying?”

  Dad said nothing. So I did. “They were going to supplement our food supply when it ran out.”

  “Oh, my God.” Eddy got off me and fell face forward into the sand as he tried to get up. When he finally got to his feet, he started walking backward, his horrified gaze going between me and Dad. Finally, he turned and ran up the beach.

  I got to my feet and went after him.

  Eddy was fast, but I was the runner, and I soon caught up to him. I ran behind him until his legs gave out, then he dropped to his knees and covered his face with his hands. I dodged to the side, then stopped, and turned
to face him. “I’m sorry. I never wanted you to find out.”

  Eddy lowered his hands. His cheeks were tear streaked and he blinked back more. “I should have been there. I should have been there.”

  I sank to my knees in front of him. “No.”

  “Maybe I could have done something.” He slapped a hand into the sand. “I feel so guilty that you all went through it and I didn’t do anything!”

  “You did,” I said.

  He just looked at me.

  I nodded. “I missed you so much. And I felt so guilty for what I’d done. And it was that, the guilt and your absence, which sent me into your room. That’s how I found the laptop, and eventually found the wireless signal.”

  Eddy said, “But I feel terrible I wasn’t there! I feel so guilty that I didn’t suffer like you all did!”

  I grabbed both of his arms. “Don’t you get it? If you had been there, we would still be there. I wouldn’t have found the wireless, wouldn’t have discovered Dad was lying to us, and we would still be there, thinking the rest of the world had perished.”

  Eddy looked off into the distance for a moment, maybe digesting it all. “But we would have all been together.”

  I didn’t say anything. He needed to figure it out for himself.

  His voice was almost a whisper. “But it wouldn’t have been enough. To be together. Would it?”

  I slowly shook my head. “We would still have been Dad’s prisoners. Living a lie. Which isn’t living. Trust me.”

  Eddy looked back down the beach, where Dad and Lexie stood about fifty yards apart. “He’s doing it again. He’s going to get us all here and do it again.”

  I nodded. “He told me about this place when we were still down there. That is what he planned to do as soon as we got out, bring us here. But I thought he was dead. So I never even considered…”

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry for not … listening to you.”

  I shrugged. “Not the first time.”

  “So what do we do? How do we get out of here?”

  I said, “I think I have a plan.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  After I told Eddy my plan, we walked back to Lexie and Dad. Eddy smiled. “Sorry. We just had to get all that out. We’re good.”

  Lexie scowled at us, but I tried to give her a look to say I’d explain it to her later.

  I asked, “So, is there dessert?”

  Back at Dad’s house, all the dinner dishes had been cleared and the table was reset with dessert plates and forks, and a cake with white frosting and coconut sat in the middle of the table. I dished up slices and passed them around, trying to look much more cheerful than I felt.

  We started to eat. Eddy said, “I could get used to this.”

  Dad said, “You’ll all have plenty of time for that.”

  Lexie finished chewing. “Dad? We’re going home to Seattle, aren’t we?” Her gaze darted to me and then back to Dad. “I don’t want to stay here forever.”

  Dad shut his eyes. He put a hand on each temple and rubbed. “When will you three get it through your heads that”—suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he pounded both fists on the table, hurtling his plate through the air and onto the floor, where it smashed, cake skidding everywhere—“I am your FATHER AND I KNOW BEST!”

  Lexie shrunk back from the table as Eddy grabbed my arm.

  My throat tightened. “Dad. She didn’t mean anything.”

  Dad slowly tilted his head to one side, then the other, with a slight crack. “Really, Eli? She didn’t mean anything? She was questioning me, wasn’t she?”

  Lexie slid out of her chair and came around to stand behind our chairs, putting Eddy and me between her and Dad. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I reached up to grasp it. I said, “She’s just saying that she doesn’t want to stay here forever. None of us do.”

  “IT’S NOT YOUR CHOICE!”

  The three of us jumped.

  I swallowed. We had to get him calmed down. If we didn’t, he might not let even one of us leave. And for my plan to work—my loose, probably lousy plan—I needed that plane fueled and ready, with Tony in the cockpit ready to fly.

  “Dad,” I said. “Remember you talked about adjusting to things slowly?”

  He glared at me, but didn’t say anything.

  I continued, “You need to give us time. Just to … get used to the idea. This place is beautiful and I know we’ll all be happy here.” Eddy’s hand tightened on my arm as Lexie’s hand squeezed mine. Let me work here, I wanted to tell them. I kept going. “You are already used to the idea, you’ve been living here. You need to know we’ll all need some time. It’s another new home for us, and the moving is hard.”

  Dad let out a sigh and his eyes softened. “I just want things to happen now. I’ve been without you for so long. I want us to be a family again.”

  I had to make him believe we were on board. So I nodded. “We all want that. Right?” I widened my eyes at Eddy and, since Lexie was still standing behind me, I squeezed her hand.

  “Yeah,” said Eddy, probably too forcefully, but Dad didn’t seem to notice.

  Lexie’s voice wobbled as she added, “I want us all together, too.”

  Dad smiled as he looked at each one of us. He rubbed his hands together. “Well, then that’s settled. Tomorrow we’ll send Eli to get the rest of the family.”

  The steak I’d eaten threatened to come back up as I stood and walked over to my father. “I can’t wait for our family to be whole again.” Then I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him.

  When I stood back up, a man with a dark crew cut, wearing an aloha shirt and khakis, was holding a pitcher of ice water. He filled our glasses and left.

  Lexie asked, “Who was that?”

  “Gerard.” Dad cut into his replacement cake. “One of the staff.” He took a bite of cake. “He’d retired from one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle a few years ago.” He swallowed and bit off another piece. “He was very happy to get out of the rain. And the retirement home.”

  Lexie looked at me and I glanced at Eddy. The look on his face proved that he was definitely as ready to get out of here as I was.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  When dinner finally ended, and we’d played several hands of cards, Dad yawned and headed up to bed. Eddy, Lexie, and I all went to our separate bedrooms. After an hour, when I was sure Dad would be asleep, I knocked on their doors and they followed me back to my room. The three of us sat on my bed.

  Lexie asked me, “What’s going on?”

  Eddy said, “He’s got a plan.”

  “Will it work?” asked Lexie.

  “No clue. But it’s all we’ve got.” I sighed. “Tony … Phil, I mean, is planning on flying me out of here in the morning. But plan on him flying all of us out of here.”

  “I can’t believe he is Phil,” Lexie said. “I feel so stupid.”

  Eddy said, “I’m the one who should feel stupid. I brought him into our lives.”

  “It was planned,” I said. “He would have found a way in.”

  Eddy said, “Yeah, maybe. I just felt so comfortable the first time I met Tony, like I already knew him.”

  “Because you did already know him,” I said.

  Eddy made a face.

  Lexie perked up. “How are you going to get him to help us?”

  “Even though he’s a teenager now, I don’t think Phil has changed that much, when it comes right down to it. And that’s what I’m counting on.” I didn’t want to explain further. My plan hinged on nothing more than a couple of hunches, and if my gut instincts failed me … “I need you guys to go down to breakfast tomorrow like everything is normal.”

  Lexie sighed. “Right.”

  I set a hand on hers. “You have to do this.”

  She nodded.

  Eddy asked, “What else?”

  I rubbed my chin for a moment. “I wish we had cell phones or some way to communicate.” I sighed. “We just have to time it right. I wi
ll leave during breakfast, say I want to go for a run before the flight. You guys need to keep Dad busy. Keep him here. And keep him happy.”

  Eddy asked, “Shouldn’t we be at the jet?”

  I shook my head.

  Lexie broke in, “But I thought we were all—”

  I held up my hand. “I won’t leave without you. But you need to keep him here as long as you can. I’ll come back for you. I promise. Okay?”

  They looked at each other and nodded.

  Eddy yawned. “I’m going to bed.” He stuck his hand out. I put mine on top, and Lexie set hers on mine. No one said anything, just let them stay like that for a moment, before Eddy pulled his back and Lexie and I did the same.

  Eddy left, but Lexie lingered by the door. She turned back to me. “I asked Dad. About my birth mother.”

  “And?”

  She lifted and lowered a shoulder. “He said they took babies from everywhere, that all the babies got a fresh start no matter where they were from.”

  “Was that it?”

  She shook her head. “He said he never wanted to know about any baby’s background, and he never asked the people that ran the home. He also said he had never planned to adopt anyone. But Mom fell in love with me and wouldn’t stop pestering him until he gave in.” She smiled. “He said they both fell in love with me and couldn’t imagine life without me.”

  I said, “There you go. You have your answer.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

  I looked down at the floor. “You have your answer. That’s what I meant.”

  She came over and sat beside me. “What’s wrong?”

  “You know that you don’t … that you aren’t…” I sighed. “You know that you aren’t your birth mother’s child. I mean, she didn’t raise you, she didn’t affect your upbringing in any way.”

  Lexie nodded. “Yeah. That’s a good thing. To know I’m not a monster.”