Redemption

  “I have three action men. Look.”

  Jeremy handed me his three action figures and smiled. “You like action toys?” Jeremy nodded. “And you also like cars?” He nodded again. “What about soldiers? Do you like solders?” Jeremy’s eyes lit up and he ran towards a box in the corner. He was there a few seconds and pulled out some little soldiers. It made me smile. They nearly looked like the ones I used to play with as a boy.

  “I have these ones.”

  I smiled. “Wow, Grown-up. You have everything.”

  Jeremy giggled again. “I like you. You’re funny.”

  My heart burst with something unknown. It was a feeling I had never felt in my life. Right then, I wanted to cry, and I hardly ever cry.

  I cleared my throat and tried my best to smile. “I like you, too, Jeremy. Very much.”

  “What’s your name?” He took the soldiers from my hand, but didn’t once take his eyes from me.

  “Dean.”

  Jeremy’s eyes widened a little. “That’s my middle name.”

  Of all the things I expected, that definitely wasn’t one of them. Jeremy sat down next to the coffee table and played with his toys, whilst I sat there in a complete shock.

  “Here’s your beer.”

  I looked up and saw Tyler staring down at me, worry in her eyes. “Can we talk?” I looked over at Jeremy and saw Tyler do the same.

  “Jeremy, do you fancy a dip in the pool?”

  He jumped up. “Yeah!”

  Tyler motioned with her hand. “Come on then. Let’s get you changed and we’ll go outside.”

  “Can Dean come in with me?” He looked expectantly from me to Tyler.

  I shook my head, feeling bad that I couldn’t. I would have loved to. “I’d love to, but I don’t have any trunks with me, Grown-up.”

  Jeremy looked sad for a moment, then brightened up a little. “Maybe next time.”

  Jeremy ran off and I was left rooted to the spot. Tyler stood there for a moment, looking at me, then she followed him upstairs. I really hoped she would let me have a next time. In fact, I wanted lots of next times. I was instantly drawn to Jeremy and I wasn’t going to let him out of my life without a fight. Now I had two people to battle for, and I didn’t like losing.

  About five minutes later, Tyler and Jeremy emerged from upstairs, and Tyler motioned for me to follow them outside. The moment we stepped out, the heat hit you. It seemed to be getting hotter as the day wore on.

  Tyler motioned for me to sit down at the table in the shade, as she bent down to put rubber rings on Jeremy. It was hard not to stare. Tyler was mesmerizing at the best of times, but watching her with Jeremy was something else. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

  If I thought the scene couldn’t get much more intense, Tyler ruffled Jeremy’s hair and kissed him before sending him into the pool. “No running, Jeremy!” She smiled lovingly towards him and turned to look back at me, the smile vanishing. I instantly missed it. It was a smile she gave to me once upon a time.

  Tyler sat in a chair next to me as we both stared out at Jeremy jumping in the pool. “I suppose you don’t need me to tell you who the father is. It was always going to end up being only one person.” She looked down for a moment before looking up to watch Jeremy.

  “No.” For a moment, that was all I could say. My tongue was going dry and my heart was beating fast. I swallowed hard and eventually found my voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Tyler closed her eyes. “Because you would have never let me go.”

  I fisted my hands together. I wanted to touch her, but I knew this wasn’t the time or the place. “I would never let you go anyway.” It was so important for her to realize that. I thought she did realize it.

  Tyler dipped her head again. “I know.”

  As her words sank in, my heart kicked up another notch. I had to get the answers from her I desperately needed. I was fucking scared that I wouldn’t like the answers, but I had to know. “What happens now?”

  Tyler sighed and shrugged, her eyes pooling with tears. “I don’t know,” she whispered. On instinct, I reached out, but she put her hand up. “Please. Don’t.”

  Even though every instinct in me screamed out to comfort her, I did as she asked. Tyler sniffled a little, wiped her eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. “Why aren’t you angry with me?”

  Her question shocked me a little. I was expecting it to be the other way around. “I am angry.” She nodded in acceptance and dipped her head again. “I’m angry at myself for putting you through this. I’m angry I made you live your life in this way. I’m so fucking angry, I’ll never forgive myself. I could never be angry at you, Tyler. I did this to you. I did this to us.”

  She looked up, her eyes as wide as saucers. “You’re not even a little bit angry with me? I gave birth to your son and never told you. In fact, I even hid him from you when I knew you would come and find me. What kind of person does that make me, Dean?”

  I searched her sullen eyes and all I was met with was heartbreak. I should have been angry that she kept him from me, but all I could think about was how this was my fault.

  Turning to her, I touched her hand. This time, she let me. “It makes you someone who’s been badly hurt by another you once trusted with all your heart. That person would have walked on hot coals once…still will, if he has to. It’s just that he was such a dumb fuck, he couldn’t see past his own nose.”

  Tyler sniffled a little and nodded with a slight smile. She was so beautiful in that moment. She always was, but it seemed every time I looked at her, there was something different to marvel at. She was the most beautiful, fascinating person I had ever met.

  “Are you making Mommy cry?”

  Snapping our heads over to Jeremy, he stood there, arms crossed, staring at our hands. Tyler snatched hers away from mine and stood up to kneel next to him. “I’m crying because I’m happy, Jeremy.”

  He frowned and I was awed by his protectiveness over Tyler. I couldn’t blame him, though. Not one single bit. I suppose the apple never falls far from the tree.

  “How can you cry when you’re happy?” He looked at Tyler, then back at me. I smiled at him, but his concerned face never wavered.

  “You see, Jeremy, adults cry when they’re happy. For instance, when you were born and I held you in my arms for the very first time, I cried like a baby. I was so happy that I had given birth to such an amazing, healthy, beautiful boy, I couldn’t help it.”

  My heart leapt into my throat. The thought of Tyler being alone as she gave birth filled me with dread. I should have been there to hold her hand and share in that joy.

  “So Dean is making you cry happy tears?” He looked into Tyler’s eyes with an eager expression.

  Tyler nodded. “Dean and I haven’t seen each other in a very long time. I’m just happy to see him again.” She looked over at me and smiled. I was so grateful that she was saving me. I knew her words weren’t true, but she was saving me from my son’s wrath, making me fall in love with her all over again.

  “Are you going to marry my mommy?” Tyler’s eyes mirrored mine. It completely took me aback. Didn’t you just love kids and their honesty? Sometimes it worked; other times, like this one, it couldn’t have come at a worst time. I desperately wanted to marry Tyler, but how could I divulge that to Jeremy? It just didn’t seem right.

  As if sensing my desperation, Tyler looked back at Jeremy. “Jeremy, you can’t ask people that question.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?”

  Tyler sighed. “Because it’s not appropriate. Let’s just forget about it. Do you want some nachos?”

  Jeremy stood still and looked at me. It would seem he wasn’t done just yet. “If you want to marry Mommy, you have to ask me.”

  “Jeremy!” Tyler buried her head in her hands.

  Me? I couldn’t stop laughing. He was just too perfect for words. Leaning forward a little, I offered him my hand with a wink. “Deal, grown-up.”

 
Jeremy giggled and shook my hand. “Mommy goes red a lot. I like it when she goes red.”

  I smiled and looked at Tyler. “Rosey.” Despite her embarrassment, she smiled. It was the first time in a long time that I felt I truly had a piece of Tyler back.

  Jeremy tugged on my sleeve. “What’s Rosey?”

  I smiled at him. “It’s always been my nickname for your mum. She used to turn red when we were kids. Her cheeks would get very rosy.”

  Jeremy smiled, but it wasn’t a normal smile. This one was cheeky and full of mischief. It made me wonder if he was up to something.

  “Can Dean stay for dinner, Rosey?”

  I laughed and Tyler rolled her eyes. “Jeremy Dean Florentino, you are the cheekiest, impish little rascal ever.”

  Jeremy giggled again. “Can he?”

  Tyler’s smile faded and she looked at me for a moment. I gave her a little nod so that she knew I was more than fine with staying. In fact, I never wanted to leave.

  “Okay. Dean can stay for dinner if he wants.”

  Jeremy looked at me. “Will you stay?”

  I nodded and ruffled his hair. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”

  Jeremy cheered and ran back, jumping into the pool with a big splash.

  Tyler and I sat there and watched him for a while before she spoke again. “He likes you.” I looked over at her with a smile before she turned back to watch Jeremy again. “But, then again, it was always destined he would instantly fall in love with his father. How could he not when his own mother did the same twenty-eight years ago?”

  How could she possibly say those words and not expect me to want to rush over to her and scoop her up in my arms? It took every ounce of will and every fight left in me not to do just that. I was desperate to know. Desperate to hear the answers from Tyler that I’d been waiting to hear for years. But I bit my tongue. I held back because I didn’t want to pressure her.

  “He’s beautiful. Just like his mother.” Tyler looked my way briefly and smiled before turning her head. “Thank you for bringing our son into this world. Words would never be enough to express how proud I am of you.”

  Tyler’s eyes welled a little. “Stop it, Dean.”

  I smiled. “Stop what?”

  Tyler turned and held me with her beautiful green eyes. “Stop making it impossible for me to hate you.” She smiled and let out a little chuckle.

  “That is always going to be my intention.” I raised my eyebrow and smiled. “You’re always going to be my Rosey. You know that, don’t you?”

  Tyler nodded. “Yes, but a lot has changed since then. So many years have passed. I’m not the same person anymore. I’ve grown up, and so have you.”

  I leaned forward a little, gaining her attention. “You’re right about that, Tyler, but the feelings haven’t changed. My feelings have never changed. Falling in love is something you don’t just grow out of. It doesn’t work like that.”

  Tyler smiled and looked at Jeremy splashing in the water. “I know it doesn’t.”

  Jeremy climbed out the water and ran back towards us. “I’m hungry. Can we go eat now?”

  Tyler nodded. “Okay. How about Dean helps get you dry whilst I get dinner ready?”

  Jeremy nodded and held out his hand to me. “I can show you where I put all my other action toys.”

  I took his hand just as Tyler handed me his towel. “His clothes are waiting on his bed for him.”

  I nodded and let Jeremy lead me up the stairs and to his room. It was just how I imagined with Spiderman and Superman posters on the wall. He had toy boxes in the corner with heaps of playthings to keep him amused all day long. On the bed were his clothes, so I sat down and offered Jeremy the towel.

  “Let’s get you dry.”

  He smiled and came towards me. “Do you love my mommy?”

  His question startled me a little, but it also made me smile. “I love her very much. She is the greatest person anyone could ever meet. She is also the best mum any boy could wish for.”

  Jeremy nodded, but didn’t say anything else. He let me dry him, and when it was time to get changed, I closed my eyes to protect his modesty and helped him with his pants. Once his top was on, I dried his hair some more.

  “I think you’re all set, grown-up. Shall we go downstairs and help your mum with the plates and stuff?”

  Jeremy smiled cheekily and held out his hand. “I’m ready.”

  Once we got downstairs, Tyler was in the kitchen, stirring what looked like spaghetti sauce.

  “Mommy’s spaghetti bolognaise is yummy.” Jeremy rubbed his tummy and licked his lips.

  I smiled. “I can’t wait to try it.”

  “Are we all set then?” Tyler looked at us with a smile.

  Jeremy nodded and looked up at me. “Will you help me with the knives and forks?”

  “Sure thing. Just lead the way, grown-up.”

  Jeremy giggled and pulled me towards the drawer. He had this big grin on his face that lead me to believe he was up to something.

  Once we got back to the table, I found out why. When Jeremy got around to Tyler’s place at the table, he put down a baby knife and fork, looked up at me and giggled, placing his finger to his lips.

  If I thought I wasn’t in love with him before, I was even more so now. My son had the Scozzari cheek. There’s no doubt about it.

  I winked back and placed my finger over my lips, too. Once Tyler came in, I poured her a glass of wine and then my own, and waited for her to notice. She served some spaghetti, poured a little sauce over each, then sat down to pick up her fork. She hesitated for a minute, smiled, and looked up at Jeremy. Of course, by now, Jeremy was desperately trying to hide his giggles, but it was of no use.

  “Jeremy Dean Florentino, what am I going to do with you?” She shook her head with a smile, got up from the table and walked into the kitchen.

  Once she was out of earshot, I leaned forward. “Do you know what else winds your mum up?” He shook his head and I told him my little secret. Jeremy sniggered just as Tyler returned.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  Jeremy giggled. “Nothing, Mommy.” He looked at me and I gave him a little wink.

  I looked down at my plate and the smell of the bolognaise hit me. It was a familiar smell I came to love when Tyler was living in London. I had always wondered about this bolognaise and now I was about to try some.

  I took my first bite and my eyes widened. “Shi—” I almost said it, but I held my tongue. “This is delicious.” I smiled timidly, but Tyler wasn’t amused.

  “Mommy, Dean has a potty mouth.”

  Tyler nodded in agreement. “He certainly does, doesn’t he?”

  Jeremy smiled and I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on. I never said it.”

  “No, but you were going to.” Tyler tried to look annoyed, but it wasn’t working.

  “You have to sit on the naughty step now. Whenever I say a bad word or do something naughty, I have to sit on the naughty step.” Jeremy looked at Tyler, who smiled.

  “You’re right, Jeremy. It’s only fair that Dean sits on the naughty step. Do you want to take him?”

  He nodded and I sat there in disbelief. “You’re not serious, are you?”

  Tyler smiled. “Oh, yes. You’ve been a naughty boy, Dean. Naughty boys have to sit on naughty steps.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “And how long do I have to sit there?”

  Tyler looked at Jeremy. “What do you think, Jeremy? Would five minutes do it?”

  He giggled and nodded. “Yep. Five minutes. I will count them, Mommy.”

  Tyler smiled. “Okay, you count them and let Dean down when you think he’s learned his lesson.”

  I couldn’t believe this.

  Jeremy got up, held his hand out to me and I took it with a smile. I shook my head at Tyler, who just shrugged. “We don’t tolerate potty mouths in this house.” She winked and that one little gesture nearly brought me to my knees. Didn’t she realize what she did to me?


  “My god, you’re beautiful,” I said, as I was lead outside into the hall. I had just enough time to see her stunned face before Jeremy placed me in front of the stairs.

  “You have to sit here now until I tell you to leave. Got it?”

  I smiled, sat down and nodded. “I got it, but I think it’s very unfair. I never actually said the word.” I gave him a mischievous grin and Jeremy giggled again. I loved his giggles. I winked at him and leaned forward. “Remember what I said?”

  Jeremy nodded with a grin and skipped off towards the dining room. After a couple of minutes, I looked at my watch and sighed. “You know, this is highly unfair. I’m starving here. Are you going to leave me here hungry?”

  I heard Jeremy giggle again, then Tyler shouted, “Maybe next time you’ll remember not to use such naughty words. You have another three minutes to go.”

  I sat there and my heart started beating wildly in my chest. Is there really going to be a next time? I surely fucking hoped so.

  After the next three minutes passed, Jeremy skipped through the door with a big smile. “Are you sorry for saying a naughty word?”

  I nodded and dipped my head. “I’m truly sorry, Jeremy. Will you forgive me?”

  “He says he’s sorry, Mommy!” Jeremy stood there, swaying to the back of his heels, hands held tightly behind his back.

  “Okay then. He can come back to the table now!”

  Jeremy held out his hand and I took it. I loved that he seemed so comfortable around me, but I didn’t know if he felt the same connection there that I did. If so, he wouldn’t understand it yet, but I hoped he would one day. I wanted Jeremy to know he had a father now.

  Once I got back to the table, I was able to devour the bolognaise within about five minutes. Tyler had a go at me for eating too quickly, and I found that fucking sexy. It certainly didn’t take much but, for some reason, her behaving how you think a mother would had my dick twitching. I knew I had to calm it down, though. Jeremy was here and no matter how much I wanted to reach out to Tyler, I had to remember my child was in the room. I didn’t want to upset him. He needed time to adjust. I just hoped Tyler was going to give me that time. I would take anything she could give me at this point.