Redemption

  I nodded with a slight smile. I had no reservations as far as that was concerned. I knew Dean would do everything he could. I just wished it hadn’t come to this in the first place. I was angry with Dean, which I imagine he realized by now. But no matter how angry I was with him, it still didn’t take away the fact that he was putting his own life in danger. I wanted them both back in one piece. It was the pain in the pit of my stomach that was telling me otherwise.

  I sighed and looked into Tara’s eyes. “I just want him home.” I gripped her shirt as the tears began streaming again.

  Tara stroked my face, wiping my tears away as her own surfaced. “I know, Jessica,” she whispered with a nod. “I know.”

  I looked over at the officers. “Do you want to come inside?”

  One officer smiled. “We need to do something out here first. We’ll come in when we’re done.”

  I nodded and walked into the house with Tara and Jimmy. As soon as the door was shut, Jimmy ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck!” He looked over to me apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Tyler.”

  I frowned. “Why are you sorry? You haven’t done anything.”

  Jimmy shook his head with a huff. “I’m just as much in this at Dean. Pinzano, Jr., has just been itching to get back at Dean. He wants Dean dead, so I doubt any harm will come to Jeremy.”

  I cringed as my heart sank. “That doesn’t make me feel any better, Jimmy.”

  He winced. “I know. I’m sorry. I know nothing can make you feel better right now. I just don’t know what the fuck to say or do to make everything okay.”

  I slumped down on the sofa and placed my head in my hands. I felt Tara’s arm wrap around my shoulders.

  I looked up at Jimmy. “Where’s Dean, Jimmy?”

  Jimmy inhaled. “I was telling the truth when I said he was looking for Pinzano. He knew you must have called the police and he didn’t want them stopping him from getting Jeremy back. He’s just doing what he thinks is best. He’ll call when he needs me. At the moment, he wants to keep his line free. He knows Pinzano will eventually call. I think he just wants to make Dean sweat for a bit.”

  I closed my eyes. “He’s not the only one.” I sank back into the sofa and sighed. I wanted out of the house. I wanted to get my baby, but there was nothing I could do. I wouldn’t even know where to start. For now, I had to put all my trust in Dean doing what he did best.

  I just hope he didn’t break his promise.

  Chapter 19

  Dean

  Love is such a powerful subject matter

  Because it comes in so many different shapes and sizes.

  It’s about timing, fate, failure, redemption.

  Jim Sturgess

  I was enraged. I thought I had felt all the anger in my life there was to feel, but I was wrong. I was a second away from losing my shit. I was pissed. Pissed at Pinzano, pissed at his son, and pissed at myself for not pressing Tyler more about fucking Charlie from the mall yesterday. The minute Tyler hung up on me, I knew what I had to do. Pinzano, Jr., wanted me dead. I knew that much. I would happily sacrifice my life for Jeremy’s. All he had to do was ask.

  And I knew he would because it was his ultimate goal. He wanted me dead and out of the way so he could take over for his father. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t care less about running the show anymore. He wanted the competition gone. I doubted it was about me killing his father, either. It was all a ruse so he could make sure I was gone. When he was around, his father didn’t give two fucks about his son, so I highly doubted it was really for revenge. But that was what we’d keep saying it was for…just to keep up the pretense.

  Just the thought of him touching Jeremy made my blood boil. I wanted to cut off his hands. If I got my chance tonight, I would kill him with my bare hands. I didn’t care if it ended up with me in prison. You didn’t dare hurt my family. Ever. And he needed to know that as soon as humanly possible.

  I drove around, trying to find areas where I thought he could be hiding out. I even tried calling him on a number I had saved a few months back. All it did was go to voicemail. He probably knew it was me, but was trying to draw this out as long as possible. The little fuck was sick and twisted. The sooner he was buried alongside his father, the better.

  As I drove into the parking lot of a diner, I went in, ordered coffee, and contemplated whether I should call Tyler. I knew she was angry with me and I couldn’t blame her. This just proved her theory that I would bring danger to her. I had proved her whole family’s theory. They would never forgive me for this and I couldn’t blame them. I would never forgive myself. So the real reason I ran after Tyler called? I was a coward. I didn’t want her looking at me with those disappointing eyes. I didn’t want to see that her love was now lost because I had gone and proved the one thing for which she pushed me away in the first place. It killed me to know I brought this to her door, but it would kill me even more to see the pain in her eyes. That knowing look that I failed to protect our son. My own fucking flesh and blood was out there somewhere with a fucking numpty who thought he could do this to my family and get away with it. This was why I pushed people away. This was why I sank deeper and deeper into my own dark world and didn’t let anyone in. Getting close made you weak. And, now, I was weak as shit. Gone were my bad ways, the gangster boy, the one who thought he ruled everyone and everything around him. I was a father now. A father who would do anything to get his son back and keep him safe. That was all that mattered to me now, all that mattered until the last breath left my body.

  As I drank my coffee, I stared at the phone. I traced the outline of the screen with my finger, willing it to ring. Willing Tyler to call, or for that fucker to tell me where to meet him. It was only a matter of time, and I was ready. If he wanted me, I was ready.

  After another ten minutes, my phone started ringing. I knew it was him. It wasn’t his phone, but I knew it was him.

  “Yeah.”

  I heard him laugh. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the infamous Dean Scozzari. We do seem to have gotten ourselves into a little pickle today, haven’t we?”

  My anger boiled. “I swear, if you hurt him, I will personally break every fucking bone in your body with my bare hands.”

  “Uh-uh. There’s no need for that, Dean. We’re all friends here. I just want what was taken away from me.”

  I huffed. “Nothing was taken away from you, you little shit. You never had it in the first place.”

  “You took my father from me! How about I take your son and we call it even?”

  I gripped the phone tighter. I wanted to scream so badly, my lungs cried out in protest. “Don’t you dare touch a hair on his head,” I growled. “This isn’t about Jeremy. This is about you wanting all the glory. You can take over the whole of London for all I fucking care. I’m done with that shit.”

  Pinzano laughed. “You disappoint me, Dean. I thought you would have put up more of a fight. I suppose becoming a father has made you a pussy. Does Jeremy know about his daddy?” I was silent. “Aww, he doesn’t, does he? He has no clue who you are. Maybe I should tell him, ha? Shall I put him on the phone to speak with his daddy?”

  “You fucking piece of shit. Leave Jeremy alone and just tell me when and where. I’ll be there.”

  He laughed again. “All in good time.” I heard a muffling sound, then the line was clear again. “Jeremy, do you want to speak with your daddy?”

  I heard him scream my name and my entire world stopped. Right at that moment, I had never felt more desperate or alone in my entire life. I wanted Jeremy to know about me so badly, but not like this.

  “Don’t do this to him, Pinzano. You can be a better man than your father was.”

  “Don’t fucking talk to me about my father. You have no right.” I heard him breathing into the phone. “Jeremy, come here and talk to your daddy.”

  Every muscle in my body clenched. The fucker knew what he was doing. He was making me suffer.

  I heard Jeremy’s little breaths co
me over the line. “D.D.?”

  I felt a sudden sob that wanted to rip through my chest at the sound of his whimpering voice. “Hey, grown-up. How are you? Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

  I heard a little sob and it almost ripped my heart out. “No, but I don’t want to stay here anymore. I don’t like it here.”

  I tried to remain as calm as possible. The last thing Jeremy needed was for me to lose my shit. “Jeremy, you listen up, okay? I’m coming for you and I’m going to make this okay. You just sit tight and I’ll come get you.”

  Jeremy sniffled. “You promise?”

  I closed my eyes briefly. How could I not promise him that? I knew I had to, and I knew I had to make sure I kept it. “I promise. I will come and get you and you can go back to your mum, okay?”

  I heard a little sob and I knew he was suffering badly. “Okay.”

  Fuck, this was hard. Every bone in my body felt heavy. I wanted to rip apart the walls, scream as loud as I could, and fucking punch something until I couldn’t feel anymore. This was the most agonizing experience of my life. I couldn’t lose Jeremy now. Not after I had just found him.

  “That was sweet.”

  I growled when I heard the little fucker’s voice on the line again. “You’ve said your peace. Now fucking get on with it. When and where?”

  He feigned a gasp. What I wouldn’t do to push my hand through the phone and rip his throat out. “So eager, aren’t we? Are you sure you want to meet your maker so soon?”

  I sighed. “I just want this over and done with, but I want you to promise me something.”

  He laughed again. “I don’t think you’re in a position to demand anything from me, do you?”

  I sighed again. “Just fucking listen to me, Pinzano. You want me at the end of the day, don’t you? This has nothing to do with Jeremy, so I propose a deal. I’ll come to you willingly. On my own…no guns, no weapons, no nothing. I will do all this if you promise to let Jeremy go back to his mother. I will agree to that one hundred percent. But, Pinzano, if you don’t agree and intend to keep Jeremy, I promise you this myself. I will hunt you down, kill all your men, and leave you until last. I will take my time with you, but I promise that it will only ever result in your death. Do I make myself clear?”

  Silence. I wondered whether I had pushed him too far. If he hurt Jeremy, Tyler would never ever forgive me. I wasn’t sure she ever would anyway.

  “Fine. I will agree to that deal. Bring me you and only you. I have a tap on your phone, so I know if you’ve called anyone. And don’t have anyone tail you, Dean, because I will know this, too. If you do all this, you have my word that Jeremy will be delivered safely back to his mother. I will text you the instructions.”

  After I hung up, I got up, threw a couple of bills on the table, and ran to the pay phone. I dialed Jimmy’s number and he answered on the first ring.

  “He’s been in touch.”

  Jimmy sighed. “What do you need me to do?”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. “I gather the police are with you?”

  He went silent for a moment. “Yes.”

  “And Tyler?”

  He sighed again. “I think you can imagine how she is.”

  I knew he was being cryptic for Tyler’s sake, but she had to know. “Tell her something for me. Tell her that I promise with everything in me, I will get our son back. I’m on my way there now. He told me he is tracking my phone and that he’ll know if someone is tailing me.”

  Jimmy breathed heavily. “You got what you need, and you know what to do. Whereabouts are you?”

  “I’m at the Half Moon diner on Sterling Avenue. I’ll be leaving from here.”

  “Good. Just leave the breadcrumbs and I’ll come find you. I have your back, Dean. Always will.”

  I closed my eyes and prayed that everything would be okay. “Thanks, Jimmy. I just want you to promise me something?”

  “Anything.”

  “I don’t want anything done until I know Jeremy is safely back with Tyler. Do you hear me, Jimmy? Promise me.”

  “I promise.”

  I inhaled sharply. “Thanks. Wish me luck.” I huffed out a laugh.

  “You don’t need it. You’re Dean fucking Scozzari. You do what you always do best.”

  I couldn’t help my smile but, deep down, I knew this was only going to end badly. Above all else, I just wanted to know that Jeremy and Tyler were safe. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Jimmy. I know I keep asking, but I need you to promise me one last thing.”

  “Name it.”

  “If anything happens to me, make sure Tyler and Jeremy are looked after.”

  “Oh, man, don’t talk like that. You’ll get through this. It will all be okay. Don’t fucking talk like you’re never coming out of this.”

  I gritted my teeth. “It may come to that, Jimmy. I’ve got to be fucking realistic here. Pinzano doesn’t want to meet, have tea, and discuss the fucking weather. He wants me dead. We both know that there is a very good chance I won’t come out of this alive.”

  I heard Jimmy curse under his breath. “Okay, Dean. I hear you, and I promise you anything you need, but you got to promise me something in return.”

  I smiled. “What’s that?”

  I heard a muffling sound, then he whispered, “Don’t you dare give in. If you get a chance, rip that fucker’s heart out and feed it to the next starving animal you see.”

  I laughed a little. “I never need to promise that, Jimmy. It fucking goes without saying.”

  He sighed. “Good. Now go get your son, and I’ll see you soon, butthead.”

  “Not if I see you first, cocksucker.”

  I hung up and quickly raced out to my rental car. I had everything I needed with me now and, luckily for me, it had gotten dark. It made doing what I needed to do and getting away with it that much easier. I had to be careful, though. I had to make sure no one was watching.

  As I got into the car, I took out my phone and, sure enough, there was a text containing instructions on where to go. I made a mental note, put the phone on the dashboard, and fired up the engine.

  As I drove towards the exit, I made my first mark. It was a fucking tragedy, messing the car up like this, but it had to be done. I didn’t fucking care how much this would cost me in the end. I had to make sure Jeremy was safe.

  I took a right at the exit and drove about a mile before turning left at the junction. Again, I made sure I left my mark before turning.

  The whole journey there, I gripped onto the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles started turning white.

  The journey took about a half-hour. On the last turn, I disposed of the evidence and drove another half-mile down a long, dirt road. I was in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere. I could hardly expect anything different.

  Once I got to a big house at the end of the road, I was met by two men with guns. I switched off my car. One opened the door with one hand whilst training his gun on me with the other. Both were wary. I guess my reputation preceded me.

  “Gentlemen. How the devil are we this evening?”

  The guy pointing the gun at me suddenly started waving it about. He was sweating already. Not a good sign. “Put your fucking hands up and get out of the car!”

  I laughed, but obeyed his command. “Whoa, boys. Steady there. No need to get your knickers in a twist. I’ll be good.”

  The other guy searched the car as I stood there with my hands up. Once he was satisfied, he took out my phone and handed it to the sweaty guy in front of me.

  “Search him.”

  I sighed, but let the man go about his job. I just wanted to get in that house as soon as fucking humanly possible. I had to make sure Jeremy was okay.

  Once the man was satisfied I wasn’t wearing any wires or had any weapons, sweaty guy motioned towards the house with his gun. I was only too eager to do as he instructed. There had only ever been two times in my life when I have been scared. Once was w
hen I thought I had lost Tyler for good…and now. Not because I feared for my own life, but because I feared for the safety of the boy who had stolen my heart. I was just fucking gutted that I wouldn’t ever be able to tell him that now.

  As I walked through the door, my hands still up, I noticed Jeremy sitting on the sofa chair in the middle of the room. His eyes were swollen and puffy from crying and his cheeks were red, no doubt from him constantly rubbing the tears away.

  Jeremy looked up and, probably for the first time since this morning, his face lit up. He jumped up and came rushing towards me. “Dean!” he screamed, running into my arms.

  I picked him up and kissed him on the cheek. “You okay, grown-up?”

  He nodded. “I’m okay now.” He snuggled his head into my neck and I inhaled like it was my last breath.

  “Well, would you look at that? How sweet to see a father and son bonding.”

  My head shot up to find Pinzano smirking. If it wasn’t for the fact I held Jeremy in my arms, I would have rushed to him. But he probably knew that and, no doubt, planned for my attack. He had all the control now and he knew it.

  “I kept my side of the bargain. Now I expect you to keep yours.”

  He nodded and paced between the two men between him. “Yes, I am a man of my word. Jeremy will be delivered back to his mum safely, as long as you give me your full cooperation.”

  I nodded my agreement. “Of course. It goes without saying.”

  Pinzano smirked at me. “Very well then.” He nodded to one of his men who came over and tried to take Jeremy from my arms.

  “No!” he screamed, holding on as tight as ever to me. “I’m not leaving without you now. Not now that I’ve found you. Don’t make me leave! You have to come with me. You have to!”

  The man struggled to get him out of my arms, but all that did was make Jeremy scream even louder.

  “You leave him alone!” I screamed. I bellowed so loud, even Jeremy stopped struggling. The whole room turned deathly silent. Taking two deep breaths, I stared the man down. “I got this.”