Redemption

  She held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Chelsea.”

  Chelsea! How on earth I forgot that was anybody’s guess, considering I lived close to Chelsea in London for years on end!

  Jimmy gave her that I will get you into trouble the minute you look at me smile and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Chelsea.”

  I could tell Jimmy wasn’t flirting with her, but I guess he just had this natural way about him that made you think he was. Chelsea certainly looked like she could hardly stand after the encounter.

  “Can I come in?” I thought I had better break the spell. Jimmy was taken and it would only end up disappointing her even more when she found out.

  She snapped her head to me and cleared her throat. “Sure,” she said, stepping aside.

  I went to walk in, but Jimmy grabbed my arm. “I’ll stay out here for a moment. I want to let you be alone with him for a while. Just come and get me when you’re ready.”

  I nodded, seeing how eager he was to see him. “Of course.” I smiled and he let go of my arm. Chelsea shut the door behind me and led me to the bed.

  I didn’t expect my reaction, but when I felt the nurse holding me up, I knew I had almost collapsed. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. Dean looked like half the man I knew him to be. His face was barely recognizable. Both his eyes were swollen shut and bruised. His cheeks were puffy and bruised. It took everything in my power to keep standing.

  “Are you okay?”

  I didn’t realize until that moment that I had my hand gripped tightly to my chest. Maybe I was trying to hold my heart in place. Just looking at him broke me all over again. He couldn’t die. I wouldn’t let him.

  “I’m fine,” I lied. “I just didn’t expect to see…to see…” I couldn’t possibly say anymore. If I uttered one more word, I think I would have had a breakdown.

  Chelsea patted my shoulder. “It will take time, but he’s made it this far.”

  I smiled at her, knowing that was as much as she could offer me. I knew she couldn’t promise me he would be okay, that everything would turn out all right in the end. Time was all I had now.

  “Sit next to him for a little while. Talk to him. Let him know you’re here.”

  I nodded as she walked away. Sitting down next to the bed. I placed my hand on his, but I was afraid I’d break him. I had to laugh at that analogy. Dean was unbreakable, so how could I possibly worry about whether or not I should hold his hand? It seemed unfathomable, but I still couldn’t help it when I looked at him. Right now, I considered him a china doll. Every touch had to be soft, as gentle as possible.

  I placed my hand on his, noticing how fragile mine looked compared to his. One little movement and he could snap my finger in half. I slowly trailed my fingers up and down the back of his hand. I still felt as though I had to be as gentle as possible.

  I looked up, taking in the sight of him. He was hooked up to every conceivable piece of machinery. His heart was being monitored, he had a breathing tube inserted, and bandages covered his chest and shoulders. Pain gripped me when I remembered what Evan said about burn marks on his skin. How could one person do this to another? What made it worse was that Dean took it. He went there probably knowing he would be tortured, but he did it anyway. He did it to save our son.

  “Dean…” I sighed. It was so hard to try and get the words out, but I had to. “Last time I was in a place like this, it was one of the worst days of my life. I thought I had experienced pain before, but nothing compares to today. Nothing compares to seeing you like this. I lost one of my best friends that day. Please don’t make me lose another one. I can’t take much more of it. I don’t want this anymore, Dean. I don’t want to carry on, wondering if I’ll ever lose you again. You have to fight, you have to stay alive, and you have to keep going for me. For Jeremy.” The tears slid down my face as I tried to wipe them away with one hand. I daren’t let go of him with the other. “Besides,” I said, laughing a little, “you still have some major sucking up to do.” I laughed a little more, then grew sad when all I was met with was the sound of the machines keeping him alive.

  “You know the other day when I went to the mall with Jeremy? Well, on the way there, a song came on the radio and something had me listening to every word. It was only when it had ended that I realized it was meant for me. It was my song to you. That’s why you can’t leave me yet, Dean. Our song hasn’t ended. Not in a million years.”

  I pulled my bag over and dug my phone out. “Once I found out who sang it, I downloaded it to my phone so that one day, at the right moment, I could play it for you. I suppose now is as good a time as any.” I looked down at my phone and scrolled through my songs. It wasn’t long before I got to the one I wanted.

  With a sigh, I turned the volume down a little and pressed PLAY. I closed my eyes as Ella Henderson’s beautiful voice came through. I sat there listening, the tears running down my cheeks.

  Bending down, I kissed the back of Dean’s hand. “The song is called “Yours”. I think you can see why it is my song to you. I am yours, Dean. I always have been and always will be. You have asked me time and time again to not ignore that fact and accept it into my heart. I have accepted it. I have accepted you because I am yours. There was never going to be any other way, but with you.” I felt a sob wretch through my chest at the thought I may never get to tell him again.

  “You came here to find me, Dean. Well, you’ve got me now. Don’t you dare give up on me. You need to wake up so I can tell you every single day of our lives that I am yours. You need to stay and hear it. I need you to stay.” I gripped the sheets by his head as my breathing became labored. “Please, Dean. You can’t give up. You have to stay for me. You have to stay for our son. He needs you. He loves you. We can’t live without you.”

  I took a few deep breaths and stroked his hand. “Jimmy is waiting outside. He wants to see you, but also wanted to let me have a few moments alone with you. I think he’s hoping that I would threaten your life if you ever dare leave me, so be prepared for him to say the same when he comes in.” I laughed again at the thought. “I won’t threaten your life, but I will let you know one thing. If you don’t fight for your life, Dean, then you’ll end up breaking my heart all over again. Do you want that? Do you want to see me broken again? Because I will be if you ever dare leave me. You promised you would give me the world if you could, but I don’t want the world. I just want you. If there is anything you would fight to give me, please just let it be you.” I inhaled deeply and tried my best to exhale as calmly as possible. It was hard pouring my heart out like this, and it was exhausting. I just wished he was awake to hear me.

  After a couple minutes of trying to calm myself, I kissed his hand, smiled, and got up. “I better go get Jimmy now. He’s probably pacing the floor outside.” I stopped a moment and closed my eyes. “I love you, Dean…more than words can say.”

  *****

  There was still no change the following day. It was heartbreaking, but I kept telling myself that no change meant he was still alive. He was still breathing.

  Since yesterday, I had been home briefly to be with Jeremy for a while. I was torn. Jeremy needed me because of what he had been through but, at the same time, I needed to be at the hospital for Dean. Surprisingly, Jeremy was very calm after his ordeal. He was actually fighting me because he wanted to see Dean. I would give anything to let him see his father, but not now. Not when he looked as bad as he did. I could hardly take seeing him like that, let alone our three-year-old son. In the end, I had to tell Jeremy they wouldn’t allow children under twelve into the ICU and that he would have to wait until Dean was well-enough to leave the ward.

  Once I spent some time at home, I went back to the hospital with the promise to Jeremy that I would be back as soon as I could. Once I got there, I was met by Jimmy coming out of the ICU.

  He pointed inside. “His uncle’s just turned up. I’m letting him have a few moments.”

  I nodded. “Okay. What about you, Jimmy? Why don’t you go
back, get something to eat, and rest. Jeremy misses you.” I smiled at him as he beamed back.

  “Does he?”

  I nodded with a laugh. “That’s what he told me.”

  Jimmy ran his hands through his blonde hair. “I suppose I better get back and see to the little fella then.” He winked at me.

  “Don’t let him hear you say that, Jimmy. You know how he gets when someone calls him little.”

  He laughed. “How is he?”

  I sighed. “He’s doing surprisingly well, considering. He wouldn’t stop bugging me about bringing him to the hospital. He’s desperate to see Dean.”

  Jimmy gave me a small smile. “I guess he must be very confused at the moment. Has he said anything?”

  I shook my head. “No, not a thing. He hasn’t mentioned the fact that he now knows Dean is his father. He hasn’t mentioned it at all. He just keeps saying he wants to see D.D. He still won’t tell me what that means.” I shook my head again, baffled.

  Jimmy laughed. “I’m sure he’ll reveal it one day. If not, I think Dean and I will just have to tickle it out of him.”

  I chuckled. “The problem is that I think Jeremy would love that.”

  Jimmy smiled. “Well, you know, they say that tickling is a form of torture. I’m sure we’ll get it out of him eventually.” He saw me wince and he gritted his teeth. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t thinking.”

  I placed my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Jimmy. Really. I’m fine.”

  He shook his head. “Shit. Maybe I should go before I stick yet another extra large foot in my mouth.”

  I patted his back. “Don’t worry about it, Jimmy. Seriously. Go. Get some rest.”

  He looked at me eagerly. “If there is any more news—”

  “I promise to call. Don’t worry about anything here. I have it covered now.” Jimmy gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked off. “Oh, Jimmy?” He turned around. “I know I keep telling Tara this, but let her know how grateful I am for her looking after Jeremy for me, would you?”

  Jimmy smiled. “I will, but I doubt very much she’ll accept that, Tyler. We’re all family now, and family looks out for each other. Family sticks together.” He winked, saluted with his fingers, and walked off.

  Once Jimmy was out of sight, I sat down, giving Humphrey enough time to be with his nephew. I didn’t know what to expect once he came out of the door. Would he recognize me? Would he be okay with me?

  He emerged, looking every bit the same as I remembered with his silver hair and pointy moustache. He was looking very smart, but casual in his beige trousers and white open-necked shirt.

  The minute his eyes landed on me, I blurted “So, we finally meet, Alfred Pennyworth.” Why did I just blurt that out? I wondered if he would shout at me, flip me off, something. Instead, his moustache curved up at the edges with a big smile.

  “Yes. It would seem Master Wayne is unable to perform his Batman duties at the moment.”

  I let out the breath I was holding and smiled at him.

  Humphrey put out his hand. “Humphrey Scozzari, at your service, my lady.”

  I lifted my hand and Humphrey delicately took my fingers. Bending down, he placed a kiss on the back of my hand. “No wonder Dean gets his boxing gloves in a twist over you.” He winked and I found myself blushing. “Ah, and I’ve now met Rosey. Nice to meet you, as well.”

  I laughed. “Does Dean know you’re an outrageous flirt?”

  Humphrey laughed. “Yes, but that’s just the way the Scozzari family is. We always appreciate a beautiful woman.”

  I raised my eyebrow. “Hmm… Don’t you think Dean would be a little bit pissed at you appreciating his woman?”

  Humphrey smiled widely. “Yes. I wonder how he would react if he knew.” Humphrey winked at me again and I gathered the kind of relationship Dean and his uncle had.

  “So, Miss O’Shea, you are now classing yourself as Dean’s woman?” He raised his eyebrow at me.

  I felt myself blush a little. “Have I ever been anything but?” I gathered Humphrey knew about our history.

  Humphrey smiled. “No. I guess not.”

  I sighed. “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you. Although I would have preferred it under different circumstances.”

  Humphrey nodded and looked a little sad. “Yes. It isn’t the best of circumstances at all.” He looked at the ICU room and pointed. “Do you want to go inside? I’m sure you want to see him and, to be honest, I would like to speak with you some more.”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  We ventured in and were greeted by a different nurse this time. One I recognized, but didn’t know her name again. When we got to Dean’s bedside, he was just how I left him. Broken. Bruised. I just hoped that if his body healed, his mind quickly would, too.

  Humphrey motioned for me to sit down. “To be honest, I’ve wanted to speak with you for quite some time now.”

  I raised my eyebrow. “Really?”

  He propped himself on the windowsill. Looking at him, he seemed every bit the gangster he most probably was. Despite his age, you could tell he looked after himself. He was obviously young at heart…even with the pointy moustache.

  He looked out of the window for a moment, but I saw a glimpse of his face. He looked conflicted, even pained. I just hoped he was coping, despite knowing his nephew may not make it.

  Eventually, he sighed and looked at me. “I want to apologize to you.”

  My eyes widened. “Apologize? What for?”

  He started fidgeting with his fingers. “For everything that happened, Miss O’Shea.”

  I blinked rapidly, feeling my heart rate pick up a notch. “I don’t think there is anything to apologize for, and I also think you can stop calling me Miss O’Shea now. My name is Tyler.”

  Humphrey sighed and closed his eyes. “I know. That’s what pains me. For years, the name Tyler was a source of unnecessary hatred within our household. The name is a memory of something unforgivable that happened. I don’t know how you can stand the name Scozzari.”

  For a moment, I stared, unable to say a word. “I love him.” The words slipped out as if they were my only argument against what Humphrey was saying. I knew Dean was sorry and I could tell his uncle was just as cut up about it.

  Humphrey sighed and nodded, looking out the window again. “I know. I know that just as much as I know Dean loves you. He was always in love with you, even when he believed you had betrayed him.”

  I regarded him for a while as an unsettling feeling entered the pit of my stomach. “Then why does that make you seem so unhappy? As his uncle, doesn’t Dean’s happiness mean something to you?”

  His head turned to me suddenly. “Of course it does. I just think he went too far with you. I warned him and the stubborn fool never listened to me.”

  I relaxed a little and smiled. “Maybe he’ll listen to you more in the future then, ha?”

  Humphrey smiled back. “I’m not sure whether I’m in the best position to give advice. It was just, at the time, I was on the outside looking in. I could see him getting deeper and deeper, and the deeper he went, the more I knew I was losing him. You see, Dean is so clear-headed and intelligent when there is no one to care about. He quickly advanced through the high levels simply because he was so good at what he did. He was far better than his parents, and I think I put that down to the fact he had no one to care about. No one to make him seem weak. The minute he started playing with fire and involving you was the moment everything changed for him. He didn’t make the right choices. It didn’t end up with the result he was after. I tried telling him, but would he listen?” Humphrey put his hands in the air in frustration.

  He looked at Dean for a moment, then back at me. “You’ve really forgiven him for everything he’s done?”

  I looked over at Dean and back at Humphrey. “Yes…yes, I have.”

  Humphrey sighed and leaned over towards me. He took my hand in his and stroked it. “Do you think you could honor an aging man the
same courtesy?”

  He smiled and I laughed. “It goes without saying, Humphrey.”

  He patted my hand. “Good. You’re a better woman than Dean gives you credit for, and one who will always be protected to the ends of the earth by the Scozzari men. I can promise you that.” He looked over at Dean again. “Maybe I can steal you away from Dean before he wakes up. I may be a little older than you, but I can still move it and shake it like the best of them.” Humphrey winked at me and looked back at Dean.

  I laughed. If talking to me like this made Dean wake up, I was all for it.

  *****

  A week later, they allowed Dean out of the ICU. He remained unconscious, but he was looking better each passing day. His vitals were getting stronger and his face was not so swollen and angry-looking. The rest of us could now breathe a huge sigh of relief.

  I was finally able to take Jeremy to see his father. Even though Dean looked a lot better, the stress of what Jeremy went through, coupled with how Dean looked may push him over the edge. I was so nervous, I was fidgeting and shaking the whole morning. I was trying to get breakfast ready, but my hands were shaking so much, Tara had to take over.

  “It’ll be fine. Stop worrying so much.”

  I sighed, leaning myself on the counter. “I can’t help it. I worry so much about how well Jeremy is taking things.” His laughter suddenly sounded in the next room where Jimmy was playing with him. “I just think he may be taking it all too well. He was abducted, for goodness sake. He’s not even four-years-old and he’s laughing his head off in the next room.”

  Tara’s eyebrow raised as she took a butter knife out of the drawer. “Would you rather he cry and scream the place down?”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. “No, of course not, but at least I would know he’s feeling something. I’m just frightened that he is, but not saying anything.”

  Tara put the knife down on a plate and came over to me. She placed her hands on my arms and rubbed them a little. “Maybe Jeremy is just a tough cookie, like his mum and dad. Have you ever thought of that? He is not one to normally keep things bottled in, Jessica. If he has something to say, he’ll say it.” She raised her eyebrow. “Don’t you remember when he saw a pregnant woman just a few days ago, pointed at her, and said, ‘I know what you did’? Or how about that other time when we went to the restaurant and, at the end of the meal, he grabbed one of the five dollar bills from the tip we left, placed it into the waitress’ cleavage, and said ‘Here you go, Wendy. Go buy yourself something nice’ and walked off?” She shook her head with a smile. “Yeah, that boy ain’t afraid to say what’s on his mind.”