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    Star Trek-TNG-Novel-Imzadi 1

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    to be heels over head in love in order to be

      intimate with someone. Maybe you'll discover that the

      physical side can have its own rewards, now that

      you've allowed yourself to experience it."

      "Perhaps," she said evenly. "But there's one thing

      of which I'm reasonably sure at this point."

      "Oh, really? What?"

      "That you're not going to be there to find out."

      He tried to think of a response to that, but before

      he could, she put a hand to his cheek and said,

      sounding not angry, but simply sad, "I'm

      sorry, w. I just don't think there's a

      future for us."

      And she turned and walked away.

      Riker stood there, unmoving, watching her go.

      Wanting to say something, but unable to. Perhaps it was

      the drink still buzzing in his head, or perhaps there

      simply were no ^ws ... or even thoughts.

      He turned and there was Sergeant Tang, leaning

      against a wall and regarding him thoughtfully.

      "You were right to let her go, sir," said

      Tang. "Mark me, there's a twinkling star for every

      broken heart that a Starfleet man leaves--"

      "Shut up, Tang," said Riker, and walked

      past him, heading back to his quarters.

      Tang, unruffled, merely nodded. "Shutting

      up, sir. All part of the service."

      Deanna Troi peeked into the study, sensing that

      her mother was still there.

      Lwaxana was staring at a small holograph.

      She said nothing to Deanna, but Deanna sensed that

      her mother was not mentally wishing her to stay away.

      Tentatively, she entered the study and peered over

      her mother's shoulder.

      "That's Grandmother, isn't it," said Deanna.

      Lwaxana merely nodded.

      There was a long silence, and then Deanna said,

      "I just came to get some of my things."

      Her mother stared at the holograph for a time longer

      and then said, "You know ... when I said that if you

      went out the door, you couldn't return ... the ^ws

      sounded familiar somehow. I racked my brain

      trying to remember where I'd heard them."

      "And did you?"

      "Mm-hmm. My mother"--Lwaxana waved the

      holograph slightly--?sd it to me. When I

      told her I wanted to marry your father."

      "She had her own plans for you?"

      "Of course. Just as you are promised

      to Wyatt, I was promised to ... what was his

      name?" She paused, and then remembered.

      "Stahly. That was it. But when we were of the proper

      age, we met for the first time, and ... well, things

      just didn't ... work out."

      Deanna hunkered down next to her mother,

      fascinated. Lwaxana had never spoken of this

      before. "Why not? Didn't you like each other?"

      "Oh, we got on quite well. I liked him,

      he liked me. But ... I knew moments after we

      were introduced that it was hopeless. For one thing ...

      he was in love with someone else."

      "Another woman?"

      Lwaxana looked at her bleakly. "Another

      man."

      All Deanna could say was, "Oh."

      "The hell of it was," admitted Lwaxana,

      "they made a cuter couple than we did."

      Deanna tried not to smile. "It must have been

      very difficult for you."

      "Well, fortunately it was shortly

      after that that I met your father. But my mother was stung

      by the lack of success for her match, and so she

      rejected out of hand whomever I brought home. We

      had an explosive argument about it. She disliked

      everything about your father."

      "As much as you dislike Will Riker?"

      "Oh, no ... my dear, you thought I was

      difficult?" Lwaxana laughed mirthlessly.

      "She was much worse. Much much worse. Because

      to her, it was a matter of wounded pride. The notion

      that I could find a mate for myself where she had

      failed. And when I stormed out, through that very door,

      in fact"--she pointed to the front door--?she

      told me that I shouldn't bother coming back. Oh,

      she didn't mean it, of course. Well ...

      maybe at the time, she did."

      "And did you mean it when you said it to me?"

      Lwaxana regarded her thoughtfully. "At the

      time." Then she spread her arms. "Oh,

      Deanna ... I'm so sorry."

      Deanna leaned forward and her mother embraced

      her. "Sorry for what, Mother?"

      "Sorry because I know what happened when you went

      to see Lieutenant Riker. I mean ... a mother

      knows these things."

      "Especially when a mother can read minds."

      "That's true. And also ... I'm sorry because

      you were right about something. About how ... things between us have

      changed. And we can't go back to the way they

      were."

      "Why are you sorry about that, Mother?"

      "Because I liked the way things were," said

      Lwaxana plaintively. "It was nice,

      simple, uncomplicated." But then she sighed and

      patted Deanna's hand. "But it wasn't what you

      wanted. I understand that. And I really am not an

      ogress, Deanna."

      "I know, Mother."

      "I just ask one thing. Please ... please

      don't become a naked blue dancer on

      Zetli. It's so chilly there, I can guarantee

      you, you'll catch your death."

      "All right, Mother." Deanna smiled.

      "Tell you what. Not only do I promise not

      to become a naked dancer of any color, but

      I'll stay with my psychology studies. Although

      ... I don't rule out Starfleet as an

      eventual outlet for my career."

      Lwaxana appeared about to object, but instead

      she simply nodded her head. "Whatever

      will make you happy, dear."

      "Thank you, Mother."

      "You know, it's so late at night, and you ran

      out without having dinner. You must be starving."

      "I ... am a little hungry," admitted

      Deanna.

      "Would you like something to eat?"

      "That'd be nice."

      As soon as Deanna said it, she realized

      she'd misspoken, and she thrust her hand forward and

      put it gently over Lwaxana's mouth before her

      mother could bellow for Mr. Homn.

      "Mother," she said softly, "I'll make my

      own dinner. In fact, if you'd like, I'll even

      make something for you."

      Lwaxana looked thunderstruck. "Yourself?"

      "Yes, Mother."

      Lwaxana let out an amazed breath. "You

      are full of radical ideas today, aren't you.

      All right ... let's go." She stood and looked

      around, momentarily confused. "Now ... which way is

      the kitchen?"

      Deanna took her by the elbow. "I'll show

      you, Mother," she said with a smile.

      Lwaxana shook her head as Deanna led her

      off. "Children nowadays and their crazy notions.

      Starfleet. Cooking. I don't know what the world

      is coming to. ..."

      CHAPTER 31

      Roper looked up as Riker walked slowly

      into the [email protected]. "You're late, Captain," he

      admonished him.

      Riker just nodded ... very slowly. He sat

    &nbs
    p; down and the waitress brought some black coffee

      over to him unasked. He was silently grateful.

      "I hear," said Roper casually, "that there was

      something of a brouhaha last night."

      "Something like that." Riker didn't even want

      to ask him where he'd heard it. Either it was from one

      of the security men describing the idiot behavior

      of a senior officer, or else it was from Roper's

      own daughter describing the aftermath of an

      assignation. Either way it wasn't something he

      wanted to dwell on.

      "Planetside relationships can get somewhat

      tangled, eh?" said Roper. "That's the

      advantage of being in a ship. Hit and run, as

      it were."

      Riker just nodded and let the coffee flow into his

      veins, reestablishing some measure of coherency.

      "You must be happy about getting out of here."

      Something about the phrasing caught Riker's

      attention, burrowing through the alcoholic haze.

      "I've ... I've got at least another month

      here."

      But Roper shook his head. "I thought you'd

      heard. Hood repairs finished faster than

      anticipated. You're out of here in twenty-four

      hours, Captain."

      Riker felt a charge in his head as if a

      life-support system had come on line. "You

      mean ... you mean I'm shipping out?"

      "That's right. So you'd better get yourself shaped

      up. There's paperwork for you to finish up. Forms

      to be filled out, reports on the Sindareen

      business. Got to have everything tied off nice and

      neat before we kick you loose."

      Riker stood quickly, tossing the coffee down his

      throat and trying to ignore the fact that, in so

      doing, he'd just burned himself. "Mark--Mark,

      thank you. This is great news. This is ..."

      Mark pumped his hand and said, smiling, "When

      you're out carving yourself a career, just think about us

      poor planet-crawlers every now and then, okay?"

      "I will, Mark. You can bet on that."

      "Then get a move on, Captain."

      Riker released Roper's hand and bolted out of the

      [email protected]. Mark watched him go and then sighed.

      "Kids."

      Everything had been attended to.

      Alm.

      Riker told himself that he was making a final

      stop at the art museum to verify for himself that

      everything was back in place and restored to order.

      After all, Starfleet would want nothing to be

      overlooked.

      But he found himself standing for an overlong time in

      front of one particular painting: the one Deanna

      had showed him, the one with all the large concentric

      "goopy" swirls.

      He stared at it.

      Then he heard the music floating from nearby.

      And somehow, in a way that he couldn't quite explain,

      the music seemed to enhance what he was looking at.

      As if dancing to the notes, the colors began

      slowly to swirl. It bore a striking

      resemblance, Riker realized, to stars

      swimming about in a sort of galactic

      whirlpool. No, not just stars ... stars and

      planets, and perhaps ... perhaps that was something like what

      the universe had looked like in the throes of

      creation. Void and miasmic and filled with

      promise and possibilities ...

      He sensed her standing next to him. But he

      couldn't turn to face her.

      "You're leaving," said Deanna.

      "Yes."

      "I wish you safe voyage."

      "I wish you ..." He stopped and found the

      strength to look at her. He had turned quickly,

      andfora moment his mind's eye superimposed the flow

      of the painting over her. For one insane second,

      she was, literally, the center of his universe.

      "I wish you could come with me," he said at last.

      She shook her head. "You know, Imzadi ...

      for a time there, I was ready to change my universe

      for you. But now ... now I don't think either of us

      is ready for that."

      He tried to say that she was wrong, but he

      couldn't. So instead he tried to find some way

      to say good-bye. But he couldn't do that either.

      He turned and looked back at the painting.

      Such vastness that encompassed everything there was ... and

      yet somehow, now, it seemed completely empty.

      "Deanna." He turned back to her.

      "Maybe ..."

      But she was gone.

      He hadn't even said good-bye. Dammit,

      he'd said nothing to her ... because he hadn't been

      able to find the ^ws. And so he'd blanked his mind,

      and now she probably thought that he didn't care

      all that much. If he were able to part from her with such

      apparent ease, without even a ^w ...

      He took a step in the direction he was sure

      she had gone ... but then stopped. Because he knew,

      beyond any question, that this was the way she wanted it. And

      somehow, somewhere along the way what she wanted had

      become more important to him than what he

      wanted.

      CHAPTER 32

      Captain's Log, Stardate 42372.5:

      Of the twenty-four hours Q allotted us

      to prove ourselves, eleven have now passed without

      incident. And yet I cannot forget Q's

      prediction that we will face here some

      critical test of human worth.

      As the Enterprise continued to orbit around

      Cygnus IV, Commander Riker sat across from his

      new captain in the ready room. Both of them were

      equally concerned about what they percvd as oddities

      on Farpoint Station, but neither was certain

      precisely how to proceed.

      The thing that Riker was pleased about, however, was that

      Picard had so clearly accepted him without

      reservation. Once Picard had welcomed him

      aboard and set out the ground rules, it was as if the

      captain had left any sort of doubt behind him.

      Unlike other commanders under whom he'd served,

      Riker felt no pressure that he had

      to impress Picard. Instead Picard was clearly

      going to deal with him in a straightforward,

      no-nonsense manner. It was an attitude that

      Riker welcomed.

      Studying his notes on Cygnus IV,

      Riker said, "This planet's interior heat

      results in abundant geothermal energy, sir.

      But it's about all this world does offer."

      Picard looked thoughtful. "And it's your belief

      that this is what made it possible for them to construct

      this base to Starfleet standards?"

      "Yes, sir." Riker leaned forward. "We have

      to assume that they've been trading their surplus

      energy for the construction materials used here. According

      to our ship's scans, many of the materials used are

      not found on this world."

      Picard smiled slightly. "Perhaps it's like those

      incidents you describe in your report as "alm

      magical"' attempts to please us."

      From any other captain, that might have sounded

      patronizing. But Picard was merely stating the

      facts. Accordingly, Riker nodded. "Those events

      did happen, sir."
    br />   "And in time we'll discover the explanation.

      Meanwhile, none of it suggests anything threatening.

      If only every life-form had as much desire

      to please Starfleet."

      Riker knew what Picard meant. With the

      Ferengii to contend with, not to mention the Orions, the

      Sindareen ... plus the ever-present notion that the

      Romulans might be heard from again ... there were

      certainly enough hazards for the Federation to deal with. And

      then this Q had shown up, whose actions Riker had

      reviewed earlier, just to make things even more

      difficult.

      Picard rose. "Ready to beam down? I'm

      looking forward to meeting this Groppler Zorn."

      Riker waited for Picard to come around the desk.

      After Riker's big speech earlier about being

      protective of the captain, he wasn't thrilled

      that Picard was immediately going to beam down and meet

      with the head of Farpoint Station. If there was some

      unknown danger, it would be extremely bad if that

      danger suddenly became known in the course of

      Picard's visit planetside. Still, there

      appeared to be no jeopardy at the moment, and so

      Riker kept his counsel. As Picard preceded

      him to the door, Riker said, "I'm convinced there's

      more to it than just "pleasing us,"' sir."

      Picard looked thoughtful. "Like something Q is

      doing to trick us?"

      As they stepped out toward the turbolift,

      Riker noticed the turbolift door opening. His

      view of the occupant was momentarily blocked

      by Picard's raised arm as the captain gestured and

      said, "Over here, Counselorffwas He turned

      to Riker and said, "I've asked her to join us in this

      meeting."

      A ship's counselor. Riker had never served

      on a ship large enough, or on a long enough

      mission, that a counselor was required. Besides, the

      position was a relatively new one

      to Starfleet, only having been developed over

      the last few years. Since Riker had unbounded

      confidence in his own mental balance, he doubted that

      he'd have much need for a counselor's services, but

      thought a lot of people on the Enterprise could

      probably make good use of one. He just hoped

      that he or she wasn't going to be one of these

      excessively cerebral types who tried to read

      something into everything that was said, no matter how

      casual.

      Now Riker had a clear view of her ... and

      he felt all the blood drain from his face.

      Picard had turned to the woman and was saying,

      "May I introduce our new first officer,

     
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