Curse of Shadows and Light

  “Do you really have to ask?” she says wryly.

  I quietly shake my head. No. Tatiana would never want to live like this. But as I gape in awe at the splendor of the magnificent décor, I can’t help but wonder with a twinge of envy what it would’ve been like to be raised here… to have some of this obscene wealth.

  But only for a second. I know beyond all doubt that I wouldn’t trade my upbringing with Tattie for all the luxurious seaside mansions in the world. I never wanted for anything growing up. I was loved, safe, nurtured. This grand estate feels like there hasn’t been any love here in years, if ever.

  Such a lonely existence.

  Corrine, for her part, has been observing everything pretty much in respectful silence. It’s been strange opening up so much of my life to her and seeing her witness aspects of my world that I’m so used to keeping private. But I know now how much I need her, as a friend and an ally. She is my link to the human world and to my demon sister. There are things I can’t tell Kieron. Not yet. Corrine is the perfect conduit, and I know I can trust her.

  But right now I need to talk to Anastasia alone. “Corrine, do you mind if we have a moment?” I ask, turning to her.

  “Not at all. I’ll just be over at the bird sanctuary and the rose garden if you need me,” she says.

  Anastasia nods. “There are some seeds in the bin next to the statue of the Three Fates if you want to toss some in the cages.”

  “Cool.” Corrine wanders off, and Anastasia and I head to the other side of the gardens, toward a small pond.

  “I was wondering something,” I begin a few moments later. “How do you and Tatiana communicate?”

  Anastasia gives me a strange look.

  “I mean, she doesn’t have any sort of phone, and I’ve never seen her write a letter. And it’s not like she’ll ever use a computer in this life time. Do you guys have some sort of secret witchy way of talking, like telepathy or magic or something?”

  Anastasia sighs and sits down on a marble bench. I hesitate for a moment, then take a seat beside her. “Truthfully, we don’t really communicate and haven’t for many years,” she admits. “I was stunned when she connected with me last week, and I haven’t stopped thinking of her since…” Her voice trails off.

  “How did she call you?” I press.

  Anastasia looks at me and shakes her head. “It’s not like that. You want to talk to her, don’t you.”

  Unexpected tears fill my eyes. I quickly look away and nod. “Yes. Very much.”

  “You miss her.”

  Again I nod, and whisper, “Yes. Very much.”

  “Yes, I can feel your longing and your turmoil,” she replies quietly.

  “I just need to hear her voice… know that she’s okay.”

  “I can assure you that she is. Despite our great distance we share a solid psychic connection. If she were unwell or hurt, I would know instantly. It’s been that way our whole lives.”

  I look up at her, surprised by the compassion I see in her face. “You’re sure? You’re not just saying that?”

  She gives me an earnest grin and pats the top of my hand. “I promise you I am telling the truth.”

  “Okay.” I let out a long sigh. “It’s just, well, before we came out here she was seeming a little unnaturally run down, really tired all the time, and then with what you told me about her dying…”

  Anastasia’s sapphire eyes narrow. “Are you going to continually bring that up? I will not explain myself or my actions to you again.”

  “I’m not saying anything. Just that I’m concerned about her is all.”

  “Well, you needn’t be. She’s fine. And quite strong, I assure you. In fact, she’s as strong as I’ve ever felt her. If she seemed tired before, perhaps she was conserving her energy because she knew she’d be needed in battle, or for a momentous task that required great magical skill. Sometimes—well, with her it’s almost always—she can sense it coming, even if she doesn’t see exactly what it is. Right now she’s in hiding from an army of Light-angels, correct?”

  I nod, and a lump settles in my throat as I think of Tatiana trapped in the little cabin deep in the woods. Not that she really ever went anywhere before, but at least she had us to keep her company and do things for her.

  “She’s all alone,” I whisper.

  “I know she has other sister witches in the area she connects with,” Anastasia reminds me. “Tatiana is the strongest witch east of the Mississippi and can handle her business just fine.”

  That much is true, and it eases my mind somewhat to hear Anastasia explain Tattie’s odd behavior. I remember what Kieron had told about me how she’d created a magical tornado and basically recreated our cabin after it’d been blown to smithereens. And now she’s holding a powerful cloaking spell over our home to stay invisible to Light-angels. Perhaps I’m worrying for nothing.

  A small sense of relief settles over me, but I still feel sad.

  “What is it?” Anastasia asks gently, and for a moment she sounds exactly like Tattie. I feel myself choking up again, and I shake my head. But I need to talk to someone, and maybe at this point she really is my best option.

  “It’s about me… what’s happening inside of me right now,” I begin quietly. “I wasn’t there when it happened, but I know what happened. I mean, I feel like I remember seeing or feeling it somehow. Bones and Lucky… they love each other. He’s an incubus, or was before he died. But he really loved her. Even though he’s a demon, I could always feel it. And one night, they just—”

  I suddenly stop and shake my head. Why I telling her this? I’m quite sure even an old spinster like Anastasia knows how babies are made.

  “And now you’re pregnant and share the burden, even though the choice to conceive wasn’t yours,” she finishes for me.

  I take a while to consider her statement before responding. “Yes, I’m pregnant. And no, the choice was never mine. The thought never crossed my mind! I mean sure, I’ve thought about sex, and I’ve thought about sex with Bones. I mean, who hasn’t? But I’m only seventeen! Well, eighteen in a few months, but still. Being a teen mom… to a demon no less… was definitely not on my to-do list. But—”

  Anastasia opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand to stop her.

  “—But in no way, to the most infinitesimal degree, do I consider it a burden. On the contrary. I feel like I have this amazing, extraordinary responsibility to take care of this precious gift that I should hate, but I don’t. I love it. I want to keep it safe. I want to be healthy and okay, and I want my baby to be healthy and okay. But I’m terrified because I have no idea what’s going to happen to me and my body, and I have no one to talk to. I need help. I need Tattie.”

  My eyes brim with tears again, and this time I don’t bother to hide them as Anastasia reaches out and unexpectedly embraces me. “I know you feel alone, dear girl. I know you miss Tatiana. But this is the real reason why she sent you to me, so I could care for you and guide you during this time. She knew of your condition immediately, even though she never discussed it with you. Curing you of your curse is a crapshoot, an unknown. But if there’s one thing I do know something about, it’s mystical pregnancies. And I do have experience with pregnant demions. Although I admit your case is slightly different.” She gives a wobbly smile.

  I look up at her. “You’ll help me then?”

  She nods. “The best I can. And I have the best tools at my disposal. I’m sure Tatiana mentioned to you the she and I were raised by a demoness after our mother passed.”

  “She mentioned something about it but never gave me any details,” I murmur.

  “Nor will I. Just know that this isn’t my first rodeo, so to speak.” She winks.

  I let out a huge sigh.

  “Oh, thank goodness! I’ve been so worried. I haven’t told Kieron or Corrine, but I kept feeling sick and tired and woozy, and it’s only a matter of time before I get all huge—”

  “But you feel better today, right?”
she interrupts.

  “Well yeah… today I feel great! Better than in a long time.”

  Anastasia nods. “That’s because Lucky was finally able to get the proper nutrition in her. You see, what’s growing inside you, it’s…” She pauses and glances away.

  “It’s what?” I whisper, freaked by her weird reaction.

  “It’s not just a normal pregnancy. On any level. You know that.”

  “Of course I do. But there’s something else. What is it?”

  She takes a deep breath. “Well, as long as you’re sitting down. You need to know anyway…”

  My heart starts racing, and I grip the side of the bench.

  She fixes her cool blue gaze on me. “It is an unusual creation, because the father is, or was, a demon, and it was your demon side who conceived with him. What’s inside you, while not technically pure, is as close to pure as it can be without coming from the original Gods.”

  “Say huh?”

  She gives a low chuckle. “It’s quite extraordinary, really. Demons do not reproduce with other demons. It just isn’t done. But they do with humans, to create demions. But what is growing inside of you is neither demon, nor demion, but something in between. And created from love. A first, from what I’ve been able to gather. So your pregnancy is quite special, and that’s why Lucky really needed some powerful Source Energy, which she finally was able to get last night.”

  “So I actually have a real, live demon growing inside me,” I murmur. This statement should freak the hell out of me. But it doesn’t. It’s Bones. And it’s me. That’s all I know. And somehow that makes it okay.

  Anastasia presses her lips together and gives a slight shake of her head. “No, you don’t have a demon growing inside you,” she says quietly.

  I frown, confused.

  “…You have two.”

  Chapter 14. Liora

  I stare at Anastasia, stunned. “I’m sorry. I must’ve sniffed too much glue in fifth grade. Did you say there are two demon babies growing inside me? As in two?”

  She nods, and I suddenly wonder how she can tell and I can’t. I’ve felt this life force since its inception.

  “What does it mean?” I whisper, too shocked to process the implications. I was strangely okay with the thought of one, but two? Forget about the birthing part, what about the raising part?

  “Well, to be honest, I’m not exactly sure,” Anastasia murmurs, looking off as if deep in thought. “But I can tell you what I do know, and what you can expect.”

  I take a deep breath and tighten my grip on the edge of the bench.

  “For the most part, you won’t notice much of a change at all… not for several months at least. You may gain about five or ten pounds. The total gestation time is closer to six months, not the whole nine months of a regular human.”

  “I’ll only gain five or ten pounds? But how—?”

  “At first. Demon babies don’t develop the same way a normal human baby does. They are masses of pure energy, and this energy grows to form a dynamic living creature in touch with the ancient powers of the universe. Personality, memories, strengths and weaknesses, all are being carefully encoded into the two small bundles of energy inside you, and they will continue to accumulate knowledge and strength. Technically, this energy is in the shape of a small human child, currently about half the length of your finger. And they will stay this way for the next several months… until the last three weeks of your pregnancy. At that time you will begin to show, as the babies rapidly grow in size to their healthy birth weight.”

  “So you’re telling me I’m going to stay like this for another five months or so and then all of a sudden just pop?”

  Anastasia nods. “Yes. And the sudden and drastic change can be quite traumatic on the host’s body. That is why you must receive your proper Energy, to make sure you are strong enough to survive the birth.”

  “The host? You make it sound like I’m giving birth to an alien here,” I mutter.

  Anastasia almost cracks a smile. “Unfortunately, in most cases of a demonic pregnancy, that is all the human woman is—merely a host. A warm, safe environment for the baby to grow in and get stronger.”

  “I won’t be that way though. I’m the mother, not some incubator.”

  “As you wish. But you should be aware that you might possibly have some side-effects, too—”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, it’s not uncommon for the host mother to exhibit characteristics and traits that are being instilled in her unborn offspring. So while Lucky is the one currently in possession of your demonic powers, don’t be surprised if you start picking up some unusual abilities yourself.”

  I stare at her, my eyes wide. “Like what?”

  She shakes her head. “I honestly have no idea. It will be interesting to see what develops as it might give us some sort of indicator of what to expect when the babies arrive. And with twins…”

  “And this will just come out of nowhere, no warning… nothing?”

  Anastasia shakes her head again. “Not usually, no. But I can tell you that whatever happens, it will never harm you or the babies. In fact, you will become surprisingly resilient and strong. The babies’ way of protecting you and themselves. While you yourself may not be all that powerful, the lives inside you are, and getting stronger every day. Their only function is to grow and survive, and that means keeping you safe.”

  I chuckle. “My own little bodyguards.”

  A small grin passes her lips. “Well yes, in a way. But just remember, they are not immortal and neither are you.”

  I nod. “That reminds me, I need to ask your permission about something.” I tell her about the conversation Kieron and I had earlier about the two demions coming over.

  Her jaw tenses, and she takes a deep breath. “I am not interested in having any more demons on my property. But if they are as you claim, and have only latent, passive powers of defense, then they should be unaffected by my protection spell and shouldn’t suffer any negative repercussions. They are under the same orders as the others not to come near my house, and I don’t want them staying a minute longer than necessary.”

  “Thanks. You won’t even know they’re here. I’ll keep them in the cottage, promise.”

  Anastasia nods tersely. “I already figured there would be activity that we couldn’t predict. But thank you for getting my permission first.”

  “You’re welcome. Thank you for your hospitality and your help. I really appreciate it. We all do.”

  For a split second I feel a rush of warmth, as if I could close my eyes and pretend I’m talking to Tattie.

  But my eyes are wide open.

  “Maybe I should go get Corrine before she thinks I’ve forgotten her.”

  Anastasia stands and smoothes down her long, pale yellow dress. “When are you going to let the others in on your secret?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

  I look out towards the ocean, unable to meet her probing gaze. Corrine I have no problem with. It’s Kieron I dread telling. I know once he learns my secret, nothing will ever be the same.

  “Not until I absolutely have to.”

  ********

  Corrine says she wants to wander down to the beach for a while, so I head back to find Kieron. He’s not in the house anywhere, but I finally find him outside on the patio in a lounge chair, reading a spy novel.

  I lie down beside him and snuggle up, and he wraps his arm over me. When I turn to face him, he drops his book and starts stroking my hair, then leans in for a kiss. It starts off slow… sweet, then becomes hotter and more intense. He positions his body on top of me, and for a moment I can almost feel the fire return… the passion that used to inflame me every time we touched. Every time I so much as looked at him.

  But almost as soon as the spark ignites, it dies away. Our kisses turn awkward and clumsy, as if we can’t quite find the rhythm. He feels too heavy on me, and his hips are digging into my side. I break free from his embrace and try to move away.


  “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I say lightheartedly. “It’s just this stupid lounge chair isn’t exactly ideal for making out.” I give him an apologetic smile while I struggle to my feet.

  “Anastasia said it’s okay for those guys to come over,” I add, trying to diffuse the sudden tension.

  Kieron nods and swings his legs over the side of the lounge. He pulls a cell phone from his pocket, and I wander away and head toward the cliffs. The ocean is lapping the shore, and I feel like I could stare at it for hours. I take a seat in the dewy grass and watch as the waves slither back and forth on the sand in an erratic, yet rhythmic procession. Near the water’s edge, Corrine digs her toes into the wet sand, apparently looking for seashells.

  I’m enjoying this moment of solitude, and cast a stealthy glance over my shoulder to see where Kieron is. He’s still back on the patio, several dozen yards away. But even from way over there I can feel his gaze on me, and sense his unspoken questions.

  The shift in the energy between us is tangible. I feel it, and I know he can feel it. I care for him so much… I love him, and I can’t quite figure it out. I know I don’t love him any less, but I feel like I love him differently. It’s almost as if this invisible barrier is wedging itself between us, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes when I’m with him it almost feels wrong, which is crazy I know. Kieron is the one thing in my life that is right. He’s my rock, my stability. I can’t even imagine where I’d be without him.

  So why is it that when I’m with him, I feel like I shouldn’t be? What the hell is my problem?

  It has to be all these crazy pregnancy hormones. Has to be. Too bad there’s not a book, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting Twin Demon Spawns From Your Split Personality’s Dead Incubus Lover.”

  It’d really come in handy right about now.

  Chapter 15. Liora

  I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here alone, pondering the world and my predicament. Maybe Kieron will be accepting. Maybe he’ll take the babies on as his own and help raise them as their father.