Daniel

  ‘For that much money, anyone will do as he’s told.’

  ‘Now off with you.’

  The boy clucked at the horses and the coach vanished down the winding road.

  They were alone. Daniel was shivering. Father was in a hurry. He yanked open the bag, tossing clothes and combs and brushes onto the ground. Finally he found what he was looking for: a white shirt, which, to Daniel’s astonishment, he began tearing apart. He didn’t stop until he had shredded the whole shirt into strips. The collar lay like a dead bird on the ground. Father sat down on the bag and wiped the sweat from his brow.

  ‘When this is all over I’ll explain,’ he said. ‘But now we have started a new life. As quickly as possible, we have to put some distance between us and everything that happened before. We’re travelling through a desert again. In order to reach our destination you have to do as I say.’

  Daniel waited for the rest. He still couldn’t understand what had happened.

  ‘People will come and try to catch me,’ said Father. ‘They know that you and I are travelling together. And you are black. That’s why you have to let me do what is necessary. I’m going to wind these strips of cloth around your head and just leave holes for your mouth, nose and eyes. You have been severely injured in a fire. You have to keep your hands inside your coat. We’ll put a cap on your head. Then nobody will be able to see that you’re black. And no one can find me either.’

  Father didn’t wait for him to answer, but began winding the rags around Daniel’s head. All at once he had the feeling that Father was going to suffocate him and started pulling at the cloth to get it off.

  ‘I’m only doing what I have to do,’ Father shouted. ‘It’s only for a few days. Until we escape. I once saved your life. So you can do this for me.’

  Daniel suddenly noticed that Father was not only scared and sweating but he also had tears in his eyes. Daniel stopped pulling at the cloths. No matter what had happened, he had to help Father now. There was no other way out.

  Father cut holes for Daniel’s eyes, nose and mouth with a little knife that he kept with his brushes and comb.

  ‘Pull in your hands,’ he said.

  Daniel did as he was told.

  ‘No one can tell that underneath all this you have black skin. Now we have to get moving.’

  They started walking. Daniel could feel his skin beginning to itch underneath all the material. Father walked fast with his bag in his hand. He was panting. It was morning now, and the sky was heavily overcast.

  ‘As long as it doesn’t rain,’ Father said. ‘I’ll lose my mind if it does.’

  Daniel didn’t answer. He couldn’t talk. He could breathe through his mouth but couldn’t move his lips.

  The forest grew thinner and soon there were open fields all around them. Father stopped now and then to catch his breath. At the same time he was listening and kept turning round to look behind them. Daniel wondered who was following them.

  They had reached a crossroads when Father saw a wagon approaching. He raised his hat and yelled. The man sitting at the reins stopped the horses. Big sacks of flour lay on the bed of the wagon.

  ‘My son has had an accident,’ Father said. ‘He has terrible burns on his face. We’re on our way to the city to see the doctors.’

  The man holding the reins stared aghast at Daniel.

  ‘Whine,’ Father whispered. ‘Whimper and moan.’

  Daniel whined. The man shook his head.

  ‘So the boy has burned his face, eh? Then he won’t have long to live.’

  Father lifted Daniel up onto the sacks and climbed up after him. The man clucked at the horses and urged them into a trot.

  ‘Of course I can pay you for your trouble,’ Father said. ‘If possible we’d like to go down to the Stadsgård Harbour.’

  The man turned round in surprise. ‘Are there doctors there? Are there hospitals among the dockers?’

  Father didn’t reply. Instead he took out a banknote and stuffed it into the man’s coat pocket.

  When they entered the town Father told Daniel to lie down and pull his coat up around his head. He did as he was told. The man with the reins looked at him.

  ‘Is he dead?’ he asked.

  ‘He’ll be all right,’ replied Father. ‘But I’m too tired to answer any more questions.’

  ‘My name is Eriksson,’ said the man. ‘My horses are called Stork and Giant. Not very good names, but I’ve never been good with names, even though I’ve had a lot of horses.’

  ‘My name is Hult,’ said Father. ‘I come from Västerås, where I sell hardware. My son, my only son who’s lying here, is called Olle.’

  Daniel listened, but nothing Father said surprised him any more. After he had left the desert and travelled across the sea he had become part of a story: the story that Father had in his head, in which nothing was really true. Daniel wondered what would happen if he stood up in the wagon and tore off all the strips of cloth. Then there wouldn’t be any more story. Then he would be himself again.

  But who would Father be?

  He lay there looking up at the sky. Kiko had taught him that a hunter always had to have patience, always had to be prepared to wait until the right moment. Daniel imagined that he was a hunter who was waiting. Some day the moment would come when he could finally teach himself to walk on water.

  It was already evening by the time they arrived. When the horses stopped, Daniel could smell the water, but when he tried to sit up, Father pushed him back down.

  ‘It’s best that you lie down,’ he said softly. ‘At least for a while longer, until it gets really dark.’

  The man with the reins gave him a worried look.

  ‘I think he’s paler now,’ he said. ‘Is he dying?’

  ‘How can you see that he’s paler?’ asked Father. ‘His face is covered with bandages.’

  ‘It’s just a feeling,’ said Eriksson. ‘But I won’t ask any more. I have to get going now. The flour has to be unloaded. And I have a way to go yet.’

  Father took a few more banknotes out of his pocket. Daniel had a feeling that the money he had received from Wickberg would soon be gone. He wondered how these pieces of paper could have such great value.

  ‘I need help,’ said Father. ‘In a few hours there’s a passenger ferry leaving for Kalmar. We need a cabin.’

  ‘Kalmar?’

  ‘There’s an excellent skin doctor there,’ said Father. ‘The best in the country. He’s often called to the royal residences all over Europe.’

  The man shook his head doubtfully. ‘Will the boy be able to manage the trip?’

  ‘He has to. I’ll watch the horses and the flour if you would be so kind as to procure a cabin and tickets.’

  Eriksson vanished into the darkness.

  ‘Soon it will be over,’ Father said. ‘Just as long as we get out of here.’

  ‘It itches,’ said Daniel.

  ‘I understand. But soon. Just as soon as we get on board and close the door to our cabin. Then I’ll take off the bandages and explain what has happened. Everything will be all right. We have started a new life.’

  When Eriksson returned he had the tickets in his hand. Father gave him another banknote and asked him to drive them to the gangway. The boat was illuminated by paraffin lamps.

  ‘I said they were for Herr Hult and his son,’ said Eriksson.

  ‘Excellent,’ replied Father. ‘You’re a clever man. And your horses have lovely names. Unusual, but lovely.’

  When they reached the boat Father told Daniel to wait by the wagon. A man in uniform was standing by the gangway and checking the passengers’ tickets. On the foredeck they were busy stowing baggage. Father went up and spoke to the man in uniform. Eriksson stood stroking one of his horses on the back while he looked at Daniel.

  ‘It can’t be easy,’ he said. ‘It must hurt a lot. But you’re very patient.’

  ‘My name is Olle,’ said Daniel. ‘I believe in God.’

  Eriksson nodded sl
owly. ‘That’s probably for the best,’ he said, ‘even though it doesn’t help. But in the end it’s all you’ve got. Hope. And someone called God.’

  Father came back. ‘Keep your hands inside,’ he whispered.

  Eriksson lifted Daniel down from the wagon.

  ‘I hope all goes well,’ said Eriksson.

  Father nodded and gave him one of his last banknotes.

  The man by the gangway shook his head in alarm when he saw Daniel’s bandaged face.

  ‘There might be rough weather south of Landsort,’ he said. ‘Can the boy stand the rough seas?’

  ‘I’ve given him some medicine,’ said Father. ‘He’ll be asleep.’

  They went down to their cabin and Father locked the door and sank exhausted onto the bunk. The cabin was cramped. Daniel remembered how it had been on the ship during the long journey from the desert.

  Suddenly his heart began beating very fast. Could it be possible that they were on their way back to the desert and he wouldn’t have to learn how to walk on water?

  ‘You’ve been good,’ said Father as he loosened the cloth stuck to Daniel’s sweaty face. ‘You’ve been very good, and I’ll never forget it.’

  Daniel waited. But Father still didn’t say anything about where they were going.

  The boat gave a lurch. There was a snap of mooring lines and the sound of commands. Then the boat began to vibrate.

  Daniel sat down next to Father.

  Now he’ll tell me, he thought.

  But Father just put his hands to his face and began to weep without a sound.

  CHAPTER 19

  They had tickets to Kalmar, but they got off the evening before in Västervik when the boat landed at Slottsholmen. Because it was dark, Daniel didn’t have to put the bandages over his face. While Father ventured into the night to find someone with a horse and wagon, Daniel sat and watched the baggage. A lone dog wandered about by his legs but then vanished into the darkness. A light misty rain was falling but there was no wind at all. Only a few people were boarding or leaving the boat. An argument arose by the gangway when a drunken man was refused passage even though he had a ticket. Finally he left, cursing, and he too disappeared into the darkness that seemed to swallow up everyone.

  Daniel felt a cold breeze from the sea. It brought with it the same smell he remembered from the evening he had walked into the water and hoped he would die. It was only a few days ago, but it felt as though he had dreamed it.

  During the boat trip Father didn’t say a word. His silence finally hardened into a mask over his face. It was a silence that Daniel could not penetrate. He had no idea what Father was thinking. Now and then he would burst into tears but only for brief spells. Daniel merely waited. He still didn’t know where they were or where they were headed. During the journey he was not allowed to leave the cabin and no one but Father came in. He brought Daniel food and then took away the empty plates.

  The boat rolled heavily the first night, and Father got seasick and threw up several times. Daniel lay in his bunk and imagined he was a very small child rocking on Be’s back, wrapped in a piece of cloth that smelled of her body. Occasionally the boat shook violently when it was struck by a big wave. For a few hours they hove to and waited for the wind to die down. Daniel heard cows mooing on deck and people moaning in the cabin next door, but he was completely calm. He was waiting. His only thought was that they were on their way back across the sea.

  Their departure happened very suddenly. Daniel was sleeping and dreaming about the smell of roasted meat when Father shook him awake.

  ‘We have to get off soon,’ he said. ‘You’d better get dressed.’

  Daniel looked out through the gilded porthole. Outside it was black. Waves sloshed up towards his face and broke against the glass. He suddenly developed a stomach ache. The trip had gone too quickly, they couldn’t be there yet. Besides, it was much too cold. When he pressed his hand against the glass with the drops of water running down the outside, he could feel the cold. He turned and looked at Father, who was busy closing one of their bags.

  ‘Are we there yet?’ Daniel asked.

  ‘We’re going to get off,’ said Father. ‘In a town called Västervik. Then we’ll continue our journey.’

  He put down the bag and stood up. Daniel could see from his eyes that he’d been drinking.

  ‘We’ve begun a new life,’ he said. ‘But now we have to get off this boat. Everything will be all right.’

  Father vanished into the night. The gangplank was pulled up and the boat turned slowly in the small harbour basin and then disappeared into the darkness. The last thing Daniel saw was the white lantern that sat atop the foremast. The quay was now deserted. He pulled the blanket round him and huddled down. Father was gone. The lone dog came back and sniffed his legs, but when he tried to pet it, the dog gave a twitch and went away.

  Daniel was struck by the thought that Father might have left him, just as the dog and the boat had done. Vanished completely into the night. He was alone now. Alone with the baggage and the dark and the misty rain. He thought about the old ones who died in the desert. When they felt that it was time, they went away. Some lay down in their huts, others in the shade, and Daniel remembered one old man whose name he had forgotten who had leaned against a rock wall. There he had sat, without eating or drinking or speaking for more than a week before he died. Maybe Daniel should prepare himself for the same thing to happen to him. When the sun came up he would sit on the bags and do nothing but wait for his heart to thump one last time and then he would be dead.

  The thought terrified him. He jumped up from the baggage, threw off the blanket, and began running in the direction Father had gone. He didn’t want to die, not yet, not here. Without Father he would never get back to the desert. He would die without anyone knowing about it. Be and Kiko would search in vain and never find him.

  He ran straight into someone standing in the darkness: Father. Behind him came a clattering horse-drawn wagon.

  ‘I told you to watch the baggage. What are you doing here?’

  ‘I heard you coming.’

  Father grabbed him hard by the arm.

  ‘We have to leave right now. We must be far away from here by daybreak. We’re already late. I couldn’t find anything but this horse, and it doesn’t look too strong.’

  The man sitting on the driver’s seat had only one eye. He was old and his lower lip hung down. He looked at Daniel as if he didn’t really exist. Father loaded the baggage and Daniel climbed up and sat among the bags. Father sat next to the driver and pulled an old fur around his shoulders.

  They left the town and after a few hours stopped to rest in a forest. Whenever other wagon-drivers came down the road, Father would take Daniel with him to hide in the woods.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Daniel asked again. By then it was already afternoon.

  ‘We’ll be there soon,’ replied Father. ‘Tomorrow night. As long as this damn horse doesn’t fall over.’

  They kept going even when it got dark. Now and then Daniel glimpsed the sea on the left side of the road, but it was so far away that he couldn’t smell the water. The only thing he smelled was the fear from Father’s body as he sat in silence on the driver’s seat. When Daniel looked at him from behind, at the fur wrapped around his shoulders, he thought that Father was slowly turning into an animal.

  Daniel was asleep when they drove into Simrishamn. He woke when the wagon stopped. He sat up, his body sore all over, and in spite of the darkness he recognised the house where they had spent their first night after they left the coal lighter and came ashore. He wanted to shout. He was right. They were on their way back. There was a ship waiting here that would take them back across the sea. Father turned round. Daniel couldn’t resist the impulse to throw his arms around his neck. He had never done that before. Father shrank back as if afraid that Daniel would bite him. He pushed him away.

  ‘I’ll see if they have a free room,’ he said. ‘I can’t pay, but I’ll
tell them that you’re sick.’

  He took the bandage out of his pocket.

  ‘Moan like you’re in pain when anyone looks at you. I’ll carry you inside.’

  Daniel nodded. He had understood the words, but not what they meant.

  Father paid the man with the horse. The baggage was lifted down and the wagon rolled off. Daniel wrapped his head in the cloths. When Father came out he had the proprietor with him. The man had his shirt off and was carrying a lantern in his hand.

  ‘Did he fall?’ he asked.

  ‘From a cliff.’

  The man with the lantern was worried.

  ‘He’s not going to die, is he? Places where people die can get a bad reputation.’

  ‘No, he’s not going to die.’

  ‘But he’s moaning like he’ll expire at any minute.’

  Daniel understood and stopped groaning at once.

  ‘What he needs is sleep,’ said Father. ‘I guarantee he won’t die.’

  The man with the lantern nodded dubiously. Then he shouted and a boy sleeping underneath the staircase came stumbling out.

  ‘Put the baggage in the room with the wood stove.’

  They had the same room as last time. Father sat down heavily on the bed after carrying Daniel up the stairs. Daniel could see that he was very tired.

  ‘When do we travel more?’ he asked.

  Father gazed a while at him before he replied.

  ‘Tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Tomorrow we’ll set off. Take off the bandage. Lie down and go to sleep.’

  Daniel curled up close to Father’s back. Everything was different now. He didn’t know what had happened with the woman and the buttons but it must have been something good, since it made Father realise that they had to return to the desert.

  That night Daniel had a hard time sleeping. He kept getting up and standing by the window and looking down into the courtyard where the two girls had been skipping. A single lantern hung by the gate out to the street. He felt completely calm now.