Behind His Lens

  His words rip me apart until I’m completely exposed to him.

  “I… Jude. Don’t stop.” My voice sounds feral and wild as I fall closer and closer to the edge.

  “Come for me, Charley,” he demands, sinking his teeth into the delicate skin between my neck and shoulder.

  “Come,” he demands again, and my body explodes obediently.

  Delicious tingles spread through each limb as my world teeters off axis. Crashing waves of pleasure roll through me again and again, combining with the ocean’s gentle tide to coax out every last morsel of my ecstasy.

  As the world around me slowly begins to filter through the fog of my waning pleasure, I realize there’s a voice shouting at us from shore. I open my eyes to see Jude squinting past me and when I twist my head, I can see a figure standing up on the beach. A man waving his hands, trying to get us to come back to shore.

  “What in the world?” Jude asks, letting my legs slide down to the ocean floor. Thankfully my lower body is weightless in the water or my knees would have buckled under the weight of the last few minutes. I reach down to adjust my bikini bottom, realizing how sensitive my flesh still is. Ugh. If this man hadn’t interrupted us, I would have, no doubt, been well on my way to another orgasm.

  “Get up here, you two!” The man yells again, shaking his head admonishingly. Jude takes my hand in his and starts walking us back to shore. But then he pauses.

  “Oh, shit,” Jude whispers under his breath, drawing my attention.

  What?

  “Are we in trouble?”

  “No, but we’re probably on his private property. This isn’t where I meant to take you, remember? We just stopped here to eat.”

  Clarity sinks in and a wave of embarrassment crashes over me. Surely the man couldn’t see anything and how could we have known? It’s not like there’s red tape or a fence along the beach. My question is answered, however, as we step closer to shore.

  Three sighs are stuck into the sand along the beach with bold, bright letters: “Private beach— No Trespassing”. How did we miss those earlier?

  “You stinking kids think you can just go wherever you want! This is my property and I pay a hell of a lot of money to keep people like you out!”

  Jude’s hand tightens around mine and for a moment I wonder if he’ll say something to make the situation worse. The distinguished-looking man has every right to be frustrated, but he’s clearly overreacting. We should just grab our stuff and leave.

  Except, he’s standing on our blanket and clearly isn’t going to budge. The closer we get to our stuff, the angrier the man becomes, waving his hands and huffing dramatically like he’s trying to flag down a helicopter. Jude let’s go of my hand without a word and starts to gather my bag and his backpack, leaving the blanket where it is.

  “I’ve already called the police,” the man slurs, and points his shaky finger in Jude’s face. That’s when it clicks: he’s completely wasted. What the hell? Jude slides his steely gaze toward me for reassurance and then turns to face the man.

  “I understand you’re angry, but we honestly didn’t know this was a private beach,” he answers with a respectful but hard tone. “We’re leaving and we’ll be sure to check next time.”

  “Like hell you are!” The man rears back in anger and grabs my arm, jerking me toward him with an angry tug. I stumble over the sand trying to regain my footing, but in a flash, my arm is free and Jude has the man by the throat.

  I’m thrown back by my own resistance to the forces no longer holding me. My awkward seat in the sand offers me an oblique view of the tense scene unfurling before me. Damnit, that guy grabbed me! How did this escalate so quickly?

  “If you ever touch her again, you’ll be enjoying your private beach only after they release you from the hospital,” Jude growls, picking the man up off the ground and clutching his neck even tighter. I watch his fingers dig into the man’s flesh unrelentingly as we all teeter in the moment. Jude’s a dominant force, ready to enact his will as if the inebriated man were nothing more than a dry leaf to be crushed in the palm of his hand. My stomach rolls as I call out for Jude to stop, and somehow my plea makes it through his angry haze because a moment later he’s tossing the man down onto the sand. The coward crawls backward like a scared crab. Despite his weary appearance, he still feels to need to yell about the police arriving soon, as if Jude isn’t a wild hair away from pounding his flesh into the sand despite my pleas otherwise.

  Jude’s sardonic laugh echoes through the broken night. He’s perfectly aware that the police will care more about the man’s drunken shenanigans than the fact that we mistakenly entered a private beach.

  I watch Jude gather our belongings again, preparing to leave, but I stand frozen, trying to process the scene. A moment later, when Jude reaches for me, I rear back in fear. Not of Jude, exactly, but of the entire situation. Everything happened so fast, one minute I was having a mind-boggling orgasm, and the next, a crazy drunk was yanking me around. Suddenly Jude’s blue eyes pierce through my haze like an old friend and his soft words melt over me.

  “Hey, Charley. It’s okay. We’re leaving,” he caresses my hair gently, and I nod, taking his hand and letting him pull me back toward the hotel.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Jude

  “Are you okay?” I ask, keeping her tucked near me as we walk back into the hotel. Neither one of us offered to speak on the journey back. I wanted to make sure I’d calmed down enough that I wouldn’t take any of my anger out on her. That guy was completely out of line, and I should have done something more. The asshole won’t even have a scratch on him when the police get there. Charley, on the other hand, will be sporting a colorful bruise by tomorrow, no doubt. Poor Angel. I can’t believe he thought he could touch her like that and get away with it.

  Undoubtedly, the situation shook her nerves, but I’ll have to be sure that she isn’t scared of me because of it. I have a temper, most people do once they come back from wars, but I keep mine in check unless it’s provoked for reasons like that.

  “Yes,” she answers so quietly that I have to consider if I actually heard her or not. She clears her throat and meets my eyes.

  “I am.” Her faint smile barely reaches her cheeks, and the hair framing her face almost acts as a shield against the world.

  When we arrive outside of her suite, I’m prepared to bend down and kiss her goodnight, knowing she needs space, but then her words catch me off guard.

  “Sleep in my room tonight.”

  Her hands tighten into a ball at her waist and she lets her head fall while she waits for my reply.

  I pause, glancing down at her, trying to read the emotions playing behind those delicate features. Her eyebrows are tugged together, her cheeks are flush, and her lips are still rosy red from our kisses on the beach.

  “Just sleep,” she adds, and before she has to say anything more, I slide the key into her door and push it open.

  “I’m going to shower and grab some clothes to change into. I’ll meet you back over here in a second.” In reality, I want to wash away the remnants of my rage before I step closer to her.

  “Okay,” she murmurs, but there’s a sweet gleam behind her eyes when she glances up at me.

  …

  Her room is dark by the time I wedge through the door, but a small lamp illuminates my path to her bed. She’s lying down, watching the ocean through her window. When I pad closer, she doesn’t even turn to look at me. Is she sleeping already?

  Bright blond hair, still damp from her shower, splays out across her pillow in a golden halo. She’s wearing pajama pants and one of those spaghetti strapped, tank tops. There’s a harsh red thumb print already forming across the beautiful skin on her arm.

  “Charley?” I ask, stepping around the corner of the bed so I can see her face. She’s not asleep. She’s focused intently on the window, or rather what lies beyond it.

  “Charley?” I ask again, and this time she blinks and props her head up
on her hand.

  “Sorry, I was studying the colors of the ocean,” she smiles up at me.

  “The colors?” I ask incredulously.

  “Yes. I’m trying to commit them to memory so I can paint this scene when I get home,” she explains, glancing out to the ocean once again.

  I follow her gaze out toward the dark water and try to discern what she’s seeing with her artistic eye. Blue is all that comes to mind. Dark blue that turns to black as it fades away from the moonlight. Is that what she wants to remember? It seems easy enough.

  “Tell me the colors you see, Charley.”

  She frowns, trying to understand my request.

  “I want to know what you see,” I explain.

  “Come lay with me and I’ll tell you,” she replies with a tired smile.

  Within a moment, I’m climbing up onto the bed to lie beside her. The blanket is thick and fluffy, successfully concealing Charley’s entire body underneath. But with a steady hand, I slide underneath to join her so that her back rests against my chest. When I prop myself up on my elbow, I can see past her head and out through the window, just like her.

  “I’m ready,” I whisper in her ear, wrapping my arm around her petite frame and tugging her in close.

  She doesn’t speak right away, but when she does, there’s unbridled passion behind every word and I know she’s speaking of her life’s true love. It’s inspiring hearing her expose the very nature of her soul.

  “At first you notice the overwhelming amount of blue, right?”

  “Yes,” I nod.

  “But if you let your eyes study each part, truly let your mind explore the complexities of the scene before you, then other colors begin to appear and demand their presence be known as well. For instance, the sky itself isn’t merely blue. It’s black at its darkest points and then it degrades slowly toward navy and marine blue. Eventually the light from the stars turn the sky to a bright turquoise, especially around the moon.”

  I kiss the back of her neck sweetly. “Tell me more.”

  Giggling, she leans into me, “The sand closest to the rolling tide is bright gold in the moonlight, but other areas are hidden and shadowed. I’ll use deep oranges and browns to darken and shade those areas.”

  I kiss her gently, encouraging her words.

  “And white,” she declares proudly. “There’s white everywhere. It’s used to highlight elements or to mix colors into the perfect hues. There’s so much white on a night like this.”

  “Most people think that the elements are formed with one pure shade, but everything’s an amalgam of colors mixed in just the right combination. The feeling of the black sky, the emotions it draws out of you as you stare toward the stars. That’s what I want to take back to New York with me.”

  I kiss up to her earlobe. “I like hearing you talk about your painting. Will you show me the canvases in your apartment when we get home?”

  She nods and her hair tickles my cheek. I want to turn her to face me, but I don’t want to push her too far. I just want to savor every moment.

  “I’m sorry if I scared you earlier,” I apologize, nuzzling her neck.

  Her warm hand finds my arm beneath the blanket and she runs her fingernails gently back and forth across my skin. It’s a subtle act, but it feels intimate, like something a lover would do.

  “You didn’t. I was really glad you held your temper as long as you did,” she sighs. “I can’t blame you for getting upset after he grabbed me.”

  “Does your arm hurt?” I ask, pushing up off the bed to inspect it.

  She glances down at the mark, an indecipherable expression marring her serene features. “No. Not really, and I’m thinking the redness will fade by tomorrow morning.”

  I look down into her wide blue eyes, trying to discern any hidden pain. “Good.”

  “We should go to sleep, Jude,” she smiles, turning her head and laying her check back down onto her pillow. I find my spot behind her once again.

  “I don’t think it’ll be possible with you lying so close,” I admit, inhaling her sweet vanilla scent.

  “I know. My body feels like I’ve just had three cups of coffee.”

  She sighs and I know she’s being truthful because I can feel her quick pulse against my finger as I spin small circles under her tank top. I should stop and pull my hand away. After all, it won’t help either one of us get to sleep, but her warm, sexy body is too enticing to ignore.

  “We’ll have to think of other things,” she declares softly.

  “Hmm… like what?”

  “I don’t know. Nuns, babies… something really gross,” she laughs.

  I smirk even though she can’t see it. “None of those seem like good options to me.”

  “Shhh… we’re supposed to be sleeping,” she laughs gently, pushing her face into her pillow playfully so her golden hair is all I see.

  “Goodnight, Charley,” I relent, pulling her in tight and cocooning her against me.

  “Night, Jude.”

  …

  Charley

  Warm breath and soft stubble caress the back of my neck, just behind my ear, and I careen toward the sensations greedily. The action is instinctual, like the hardwiring of my DNA acknowledging its complement strands. Even in my dreamy state, when his lips find my skin with soft nips, a hum sounds from the back of my throat. His persistent touching forces consciousness to begin to filter in. I hold off as long as I can, trying to stay in the brief moment of blissful emptiness, where there is only us: Jude and me.

  “I have to go, Charley. We have to be ready in thirty minutes to drive to the shoot.”

  No.

  I groan in protest as the layers of my sleepy haze peel away. “Don’t make me. Let’s just sleep all day.”

  “I wish, but it’ll be fun once we get there. You’ve probably never seen an active volcano before.”

  “Is that supposed to make me want to get up?” I groan, trying to roll toward him, but he’s already crawling off the bed to leave.

  He chuckles and leans over to kiss me again, “Up, pretty girl. I’ll meet you down in the lobby soon.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Charley

  The day passed so quickly that as I walk toward the resort’s restaurant for dinner, I realize it feels like an entire week of activities were crammed into the last few hours. This morning, after Jude practically pulled me out of our bed, the crew trekked to Hualalai, an active volcano on the western edge of the island. I learned as we were driving to the location that “active” is a relatively loose term in relation to volcanoes. This one hasn’t erupted since 1801, so our photo shoot was safe and sound.

  All of the models dressed in skimpy red and black swimsuits of varying styles. The make-up crew gave us dark, smoky eyes and layered on the mascara until I could hardly lift my eyelid. It was much different than anything I’d ever done before, but Jude was right; it ended up being really fun once we got there. We didn’t do any solo shots. Ryan directed us in small groups and then we took a few with all ten of us for the large centerfolds of the magazine. They should be artistic and sexy. I don’t think anyone will look at volcanoes the same after they see us in our bikinis.

  Luckily, the magazine won’t come out for a couple of months, which gives me just enough time to forget about the impending fame. Hell, maybe I’ll miss the release all together and just pretend it never happened. The only evidence will be the big fat paycheck sitting in my bank upon my return back home.

  Since it’s our last night in Hawaii, all of the crew is meeting in the hotel restaurant for dinner. It feels bittersweet to be heading home tomorrow, but I miss being in my own space, away from crazy models and intrusive make-up crews. While I’ve enjoyed paradise, I can’t wait to get back to my normal routine.

  Except, there’s the question of Jude. I haven’t let myself consider how our relationship will change when we get back to New York. I want to transplant every feeling I’ve had here back home with me, but I can’t avoid
the truth forever. I’d be naive to think there’s any kind of future for us.

  “Charley!” Bella calls my name, jarring me from my reverie. I glance up to see her standing with a few of the models just outside of the restaurant, waiting for me to catch up. My lips curl into what seems like a genuine smile as I step closer.

  “Hey, thanks for waiting,” I offer, trying to shake the black cloud that had suddenly darkened my mood. It’s strange how quickly that hopeless feeling can weasel its way back into my world. I wring out my hands. Is it from thinking about things ending with Jude? I’ve been alone for a long time; it’s nothing new.

  “No problem, but I’m starving, so let’s go eat.” She links her arm around mine and tugs me forward until we’re stepping into the tropical restaurant.

  The restaurant itself is gorgeous, but they have the porch screens open so that the Hawaiian sunset becomes the focal point of the entire eastern wall. The ocean’s waves are audible over the soft island music streaming from the corners of the room.

  Modern tiki torches adorn the perimeter walls, offering sultry lighting and leading our path to the porch where the hostess declares that our party will be seated.

  The open porch blankets the restaurant in warm humidity, making me glad I opted for a thin criss-crossed strappy dress. My hair is rolled into a messy, low bun, but a few strands have already escaped the hair tie. I have to keep coaxing them back as the breeze blows them gently against my cheek.

  I know Jude’s here already because Ryan asked him to come down earlier for a drink. I was hoping we’d have some time together after the shoot, but we ended up getting back later than we expected. All day I was busy getting plucked and prodded and he was busy snapping photos. We haven’t been able to say more than two words to each other since this morning. It’s strange how quickly the sinking feeling in my stomach can return. It’s like Jude wields the power to relax me, and when he’s not around, my stomach coils into the same tight ball I’ve had for the past four years.