Behind His Lens

  It’s too much. I can give him an inch, but he’s demanding a mile. His words wind around my soul and each syllable tugs the rope tighter and tighter until I’m sure I’ll shatter.

  “Let’s just be here, Jude. That’s all I can give you right now. Just be here with me for tonight,” I plead, hearing the desperation in my voice.

  I have to be honest with him about that. I need him to know my limits before we do anything we can’t take back.

  I expected him to argue against my request, but the hunger building behind his gaze highlights the transition taking place between us: from a deep conversation toward the concession of our passionate desire. It sparks between us like the brewing of a storm, and I step back instinctively, trying to separate myself from the consuming downpour.

  My movements are futile though.

  Jude reaches down with his hands, sliding them from my lower back, down to the sides of my hips. He slowly bunches the bottom of my dress in his palms. His eyes are focused and demanding, never straying from my gaze as he pulls my dress up and over my lacy underwear.

  “Take it off.” He tugs on my dress, forcing my obedience with his heady touch.

  My tongue reaches out to wet my lips as my shaky hands find the hem of my dress. I pull it off in one quick flourish and then let it drop from my fingers without a glance toward the silky white material.

  I’m standing before him in a matching lace bra and panties. My strappy heels are still adorning my ankles, but as Jude’s eyes take in every inch of me, he doesn’t seem to mind their presence.

  He steps closer, dipping low to connect his supple mouth with my neck while his hands drift up my arms. He nips and licks, trailing his mouth down the front of my chest. All the while his hands reach from my bare shoulders down my neck to cup my breasts.

  My soft cry awakens my desire even more.

  I wasn’t expecting his touch. He grasps me with such possession that I dip toward him, letting him take his fill of me. For tonight, I’ll be his and pretend he’s mine. It feels so right and I want all of him, every inch of him against me, taking me and pretending to love me.

  His fingers find the back of my bra, flicking it open and letting it fall between us. I fumble for the buttons of his shirt, needing, wanting to feel our skin crashing together. I curse trying to unbutton as fast as I can. He tugs the last few buttons off. When his shirt slides down his arms, I push myself toward him, feeling his hard chest press against my sensitive nipples and igniting my soul.

  Each movement passes faster than the last and soon the lines blur between which of us is controlling my body. My legs wrap around his torso and he hoists me up and shoves me back against the hotel’s wall. The armoire next to us rattles loudly from our wild tango and I giggle before his mouth finds mine. He sucks me in, kissing me hard, almost bruising my lips. But I meet him kiss for kiss, trying to eradicate the space between us. His breath is minty and consumes my senses, drawing my attention to the lust building in my core.

  Fuck.

  Nothing seems to be enough. I need more. I scratch my nails down his back, making him groan huskily and force me up against the wall harder.

  “Fuck, Charley,” he drawls out as his hips roll into mine, grinding our bodies together.

  His mouth captures my nipple and I cry out, loud, not caring if everyone in the hotel can hear us. I just want to give him everything, all of me. His teeth tease my tight bud as his hand finds my other breast, kneading it in his hands and unraveling the ribbons of my lust throughout my body.

  “Tonight. I’m going to do anything that I want with you. You’re mine.”

  “I… Jude.”

  “Are you on birth control?”

  God, I don’t even care! “Yes,” I breathe, “the pill.”

  “Good.”

  He spins me around so fast that I tighten my hands around his shoulders for fear that I’ll lose my grip around his waist. He bends down, placing me on the bed with my legs bent up and open wide for him. Subconsciously, I move to readjust and hide myself, but his hands clamp down on my inner thighs, pushing me back open for him.

  “Don’t hide from me. Not tonight. This sweet spot is all mine and I plan on tasting it until I get my fill.”

  My body clenches in anticipation. It’s been so long, years, since anyone has done this to me, and my adrenaline spikes, wanting his lips on me so badly that I can’t wait another second.

  “Please, Jude.”

  “Shh, baby. I’ll give you everything you need.” His wicked voice holds so much promise that I have to bite down hard on my lip to tamp down my overwhelming desire. I just need him. My body hums, alive and waiting for him to fill me. I watch him unbuckle his pants and slide them down his hips, revealing his tight black boxer briefs. The bulge hidden beneath fills me with a new wave of wetness, but I can’t ignore the brief moment of fear.

  There’s no time to worry because he’s already bending down on his knees and tugging my body to the end of the bed so that my skin glides along the silky duvet cover. My eyes flutter closed as ecstasy starts to overwhelm my entire world. I feel like I’m on the seat of a roller coaster, rounding the top of the curve, waiting to plummet down.

  Then suddenly Jude’s warm breath falls on the sensitive flesh around my panties and there’s no more silence. Soft moans break through my throat as his finger trails along the edge of my panties, so close to where I need him to be.

  Cold air suddenly douses my flesh as he drags my panties to the side, completely exposing every inch of me. He doesn’t touch me. Instead, I watch him gaze over my flesh with heated desire. It’s such an intimate feeling, having him study me, but my curiosities are answered the moment he starts to murmur soft words.

  “You’re so beautiful, Charley. Pink and wet just for me.” My head presses back into the duvet cover as I arch away from his searing words. This can’t be real. He fulfills every desire within me— possessing me, controlling me, loving me. His deft fingers open up my delicate folds and I almost lose it, my body almost shatters beneath his touch.

  Each touch of his is willfuland calculated. He takes his time, examining me and kissing all of the delicate flesh surrounding my center. But then without warning, his warm breath caresses my clit, and a moment later his tongue finds the same spot. I buck my hips beneath him, but his strong hands pin my legs to the bed, forcing me to feel his relentless torture. It’s impossible to lie still as he kisses me, lapping me up gently. I’m crooning in a lust-filled haze as his tongue dips deep into my folds, over and over again. Waves of pleasure follow every lap of his tongue.

  He sucks my clit into his mouth stimulating every single nerve in my body, but it’s not enough. I know because when his finger slides into me, my pleasure heightens tenfold and fireworks explode behind my eyelids.

  “Yes,” I cry, wanting him to know how much his touch affects me.

  His long, deft finger slides in and out, coated in my wetness.

  “I’m going to watch you come while I finger you, Charley,” he declares with such arrogance and confidence that I know my body will comply with his every whim.

  He slides a second finger in, stretching me, and then his mouth swirls around my clit, bringing me closer and closer.

  “Do you feel how tight you are? How much my fingers stretch you? I want to feel you around my cock, Charley.”

  My hips meet his fingers, pushing him deeper, needing more.

  “I want you inside of me,” I murmur, knowing we both need the same thing.

  He doesn’t listen though. His fingers speed up, fucking me hard and my body kicks into overdrive.

  “Come for me, Charley.”

  His tongue finds my clit again, sucking it into his mouth, matching the quick thrusts of his fingers. The combination completely breaks me and my orgasm comes so fast as I scream out his name. I love the way his name sounds, breaking through my throat like a wild plea. The ripples of pleasure extend to every part of my body, leaving no cell untouched.

  My
eyes blink open as Jude shoves his boxer-briefs down and rips off my shoes and panties, leaving us both completely bare. There’s so much more to feel and all too soon. My body cries out for his touch.

  He starts to crawl over me, onto the bed, cocooning me beneath his hard muscles. His smoldering blue eyes glare down at me as he groans, “I love making you come, Charley. Making that sweet little pussy of yours ripple around me.”

  “Take me,” I plead, drowning in his enticing scent and touch.

  He grabs my hips and shoves me up higher onto the bed so that we can both fit. I pant beneath him, waiting for his next move.

  “I’ve been tested and I always use protection. I want to feel every inch of you. Charley. Do you trust me?”

  Absolutely.

  “Yes, Jude.”

  Suddenly he pulls my legs apart and settles his hard erection against my folds, running it up and down, coating it with my slickness.

  “Please.” I wiggle my hips, trying to press him into the exact spot where I need him. He never stops stroking himself against me as I speak, and my words come out harsh and jagged. But any hope of trying to quell my exposed desire is forgotten when his mouth crushes against mine, claiming me, branding me as his for the night.

  I open up to him willingly, pressing my legs hard against the bed so that every inch of him crushes against my skin. He stretches my lips and with one hard thrust, his dick slides into me and I cry out, trying to adjust to the overwhelming sensations. It’s been so long since I’ve had sex and the last time was so different. I wasn’t expecting the pain, but in a flash it’s gone, flooded by desire and red-hot need.

  “Oh, my angel. You feel like heaven. We were made for each other,” he coos into my ear as he thrusts into me slowly, torturously drawing his cock in and out of me. Shivers erupt down my body as he drags his cock against my most sensitive spot.

  Our bodies respond together, moving in a rhythm that builds, each thrust harder than the last, until finally he’s fucking me with absolute ownership. He fills me completely, digging his fingers into the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh and pinning me under him. I like it. It’s scary how much I like this. Him controlling me, forcing me to feel every inch of him inside of me. His movements are so controlled, and his desire for me spills out between us, coating me in sweet seduction. God I need him so bad. I want him forever; tonight isn’t enough.

  He rocks against me harder, pushing me into the bed forcefully. Meeting his demands, I reach up to twist my hands through his hair, yanking his head down to me. Our lips touch, and then like magic, our mouths open and our bodies meld together completely. I taste myself on his tongue, sweet and sexy, such a divine combination that sends my mind reeling.

  His tongue, his kiss, his taste all make me want to beg for more.

  With a quick shove, he pushes himself up onto his knees so he can see his dick sliding in and out. The new angle forces him even deeper inside me and his hard thrusts jolt my entire body to life. His hands wrap around my breasts, engulfing them with his sweet touch as he rams into me harder and harder. Our sweaty bodies press together in frantic, primal need.

  “I want to feel you come around me,” he commands roughly, plunging deeper with quick, mastered movements. His deep groans meet my soft cries as every single inhibition melts away and my body cries for release.

  “Jude! That feels so good,” I cry out.

  “You like that, Angel? Feel me. Feel me stretching your tight pussy.”

  My body obeys and once again I find myself careening toward complete bliss. I tighten around his dick and come undone, screaming his name with such unabashed pleasure that I’m sure he can see straight through me. He milks every drop out of me, pushing the pleasure to last longer and longer until my consciousness completely fades for a moment and I’m left with only the sensations he gives me. Hard, raw passion pounding into me as his own orgasm meets mine and he groans loudly, filling me with his sweetness and caressing every inch of my core until I’m left completely satiated.

  So much so that I may never open my eyes again.

  Jude

  She’s everything. The way she screamed my name as we came together will forever be burned in my memories as the most erotic and beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. My hand strokes her cheek as we lay paralyzed, trying to float back to reality. Her bright blue eyes stay focused on me, but as she blinks, her eyelids start to linger closed longer and longer. I know soon she’ll slink away from the conscious world all together.

  I hop up off the bed and quickly clean myself off before grabbing a washcloth for Charley. I don’t want her to get up; I don’t want this moment, or this night, to end. When I crawl back into bed, she smiles up at me with a lazy grin and stretches out to envelope me in her arms. I accept willingly, dragging the washcloth over her sensitive sex and cleaning up the remnants of our love-making.

  Were we making love?

  I push the thought aside. It isn’t the time for monumental decisions. Tonight was more than anything I could’ve hoped for, and that is enough for right now.

  After I set the washcloth on the side table, I relax against her and she wraps herself around me like ivy winding up a tree.

  “Mmm… thank you… for everything,” she hums before pressing a chaste kiss to my chest.

  I capture one of her hands in mine and bring it to my lips, kissing her palm and trying to show her every unspoken word hanging on the tip of my tongue.

  “I don’t think anything will ever compare to that,” she muses, letting her eyelids flutter closed against my chest. I lay awake watching her for a few minutes, getting carried away with the idea of falling asleep with her like this every night. Her body feels so small and warm against mine, but the way she’s wrapped around me makes me feel needed, desired.

  “Goodnight, Charley,” I whisper wistfully, even though she’s already drifted off to sleep. I stroke her pale blonde hair away from her face, revealing every inch of her delicate beauty.

  “I wish I could keep you,” I murmur into the dark void.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Charley

  “You didn’t have to escort me home to my apartment, Jude,” I point out as the taxi passes sprawling urban blocks on its way back from the airport. Our plane landed just after six PM, but the sun was already down and the Manhattan chill seeped in the moment we left the airport. City lights flash around us, blocking the moon and stars. I zip up my tight leather jacket, trying to adjust to the drastic changes in temperature. Just this morning, we were lazing on the beach in our swimsuits, managing to fit in one more quick swim before leaving the island. Now, I’m wrapped in three layers of warm clothing.

  Jude raises his brow and offers me a silly smirk, “And cut this vacation short sooner?” His tone makes my statement sound utterly ridiculous.

  I can’t help but laugh as I gesture toward the window. “We’re in the back of a cab, in New York City, a block from my apartment. I think that means the vacation is officially over.”

  He shakes his head knowingly, narrowing his intense gaze right onto me. “Charley, until we are outside of your apartment door, this vacation is still happening.” Then he dips his head back against the seat and plasters on an easy smile. “Now relax and enjoy the island breeze.”

  I laugh at his playfulness, loving these little exchanges of ours. It’s been too long since I’ve had easy conversations like this with anyone other than Naomi. “I think that’s smog,” I offer cheekily.

  He pries one eye open and tips his head toward me. “Ha-ha. Who taught you to be such a smart ass, my dear?”

  “It’s au naturel, built in with my WASP-y DNA,” I smile wryly.

  “Mmm, we’ll have to get some more Brooklyn in you.”

  “Is that where your apartment is?” I ask, suddenly curious to know how he lives. “It’s strange that I haven’t seen it yet.”

  “Yeah. It’s just across the river. We’ll have dinner there tomorrow.” Of course there’s no invitation because it’s n
ot necessary. I’d cancel any plans I had to go to his place for dinner.

  “Sounds good.”

  “There’s an outdoor market a few blocks from my place. We can go there to pick up ingredients.”

  “Oh!” My eyes light up with excitement. “Maybe we can make one of my recipes. It’s been forever since I’ve had an actual kitchen to cook in.”

  “I’d like that.” He reaches out, puts his hand over mine, and we ride the last few minutes in silence.

  I’m scrolling through my rolodex of recipes in my head, purposely ignoring the nagging sensation in the back of my mind. I know it’s there, trying to remind me that we’re home and that this thing with Jude has to change. We either have to take a step forward or a step back. But maybe not. Maybe we can just be in this perfect state of happiness without the world pushing in from all sides, threatening to crumble our budding relationship before it even has time to grow.

  “Jeez. Who ordered the limo?” Jude asks as we pull onto my street.

  My heart instantly sinks. There’s no way.

  Surely, that can’t be her.

  “Shit,” I mumble under my breath as we drive closer. I recognize the distinguished looking driver positioned outside of the limo. David. He’s worked for my mother for twenty years, and he’s like a loyal sidekick, staying with her through both marriages; always in the background but consistently present.

  My tongue drags along my top row of teeth as my instincts kick into overdrive. Jude cannot talk to her. My two worlds can’t collide like this. It’s too soon. I haven’t had nearly enough time with Jude.

  “Charley?” he asks, placing his hand on the back of my neck, gently massaging. “Is everything okay?”

  “Um, yes. It’s just…” Crap. Nothing. Absolutely nothing comes to mind, and I don’t want to lie to him. There are so many lies building on one another, this cannot be another.

  In a blur of events, the cab driver stops, Jude pays him and hops out to grab our luggage. I slink out of the cab and try to hurry Jude along so he can get back into the cab before the dragon rears her ugly, coifed head.