Attack of the Jack

  “You’re not the boss of me,” Pepper shot back.

  Chuckles the chimp tugged at his sailor cap, rolled his tongue over his teeth, and jumped up and down excitedly.

  Madeline cleared her throat for attention. “I’d like to sing my favorite farewell song now. But I’m sad because I don’t know the words.” She wiped a tear from one eye.

  Shawn leaned closer to me and whispered, “We can’t sail with them. No way. They’re all crazy.”

  I turned to Jack. “Do we have a choice? Is there anything else Shawn and I could do to convince you to go back in your jack-in-the-boxes?”

  “Captain Pip is a lov-er-ly canary,” he replied. “When the little birdie sings, it sends a warm fluttering to my heart.”

  “Yes,” I said, “but … why can’t you get him yourself?”

  “Because I’m allergic,” Jack replied. “Allergic to clams. I get such a rash, you wouldn’t believe.”

  “But you could stay on the ship and your crew—” I started. But Jack raised his hook to silence me.

  “You want to see your uncle again, don’t ye?” he snapped angrily. “Ye want all of us to go back in our boxes, don’t ye? Then set sail for Clam Island today on the Jolly Sea Scab, and bring back my Pip—and stop jabbering.”

  I swallowed. I stood up taller to keep my legs from trembling.

  “The Jolly Sea Scab?” Shawn said in a tiny voice. “Is that really the name of your ship?”

  A grin slowly spread over Jack’s face. “It’s the Scab of the Sea,” he boasted, “known far and wide.”

  A few minutes later, Shawn and I were walking up the gangplank, boarding the big ship as it bobbed against the dock. The wooden deck stood high above the water. The black sails flapped noisily above our heads in a strong, steady breeze.

  Salty and Pepper, Chuckles, and Madeline followed us on board. Chuckles was hooting and grunting and hopping up and down, very excited.

  Shawn gazed around the deck. I grabbed the rail and turned back to the shore. I could see Jack the Knife peering up at us from the rocky beach behind the dock. And I could see the house beyond the reeds.

  “Hoist anchor!” Salty Magee shouted.

  “You do it!” Pepper snapped back.

  “No. You do it!”

  I heard a grinding sound. Soon after, I saw the big metal anchor rise up from the water. The ship bobbed free of the dock. We were setting sail. No turning back now.

  Waves splashed against the sides of the ship as we began to move.

  Peering down at the shore, I saw a dark spot at the foot of the dock. It took a few seconds to realize it was Celeste. Yes. The black cat was staring up at us as we began to move.

  And over the wind, I could hear the cat’s cry: “Don’t go! Don’t go!”

  If you ask me, Celeste is a scaredy-cat.

  What’s so frightening about sailing off in a pirate ship to a faraway island with a two-headed sailor, a chimp, and a crazy pirate? The only thing missing is a talking dummy.

  I’d like to go on a sailing ship. I’d love to see giant tuna fish swimming in the sea. One thing I always wondered about tuna fish: How do they squeeze themselves into those tiny little cans? Haha.

  Well, Violet and her brother are going to meet tougher creatures than tuna fish. I hope Violet’s new nickname isn’t Shark Bait!

  Hahaha.

  Shawn and I stood side by side, our hands gripping the railing above the deck. The ship bounced on the low waves. The sails fluttered and snapped as they caught the wind, and we picked up speed.

  We didn’t speak as we watched the dock and the beach and the house grow smaller and smaller, fading into the distance.

  There was no reason to speak. No one to call for help. No one to rescue us from this crazy mission.

  Sail to an island? Capture a canary and bring it back?

  Of course, the whole thing was impossible.

  The black sails whistled and snapped, as if greeting the wind. The air smelled salty and felt cold against my burning cheeks.

  “Wonder if we’ll ever see Uncle Jim again,” I said to Shawn.

  He sighed. “Wonder if we’ll ever see Mom and Dad again,” he murmured.

  “It’s all our fault,” I said. “If only we had listened to Uncle Jim. If only we had stayed out of that locked room.”

  Shawn swallowed hard and made a gulping sound. He shook his head sadly and didn’t reply.

  The waves rose higher. Water splashed onto the deck, rolling over our shoes. We both leaped back. The wind blew our hair wildly about our heads.

  “How long do you think it will take to get to the island?” Shawn asked in a tiny, frightened voice.

  I had no idea, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

  “I’m going down below,” he said, pointing to a narrow stairway leading down. “See if I can find our cabin.”

  I started to follow him, but Salty and Pepper stepped into my path. The two heads studied the waves beyond the deck.

  The ship rocked hard and the deck tilted up. I lost my balance and stumbled into him. He staggered to the side, and we both nearly fell over.

  “Easy,” Salty said. He took me by my shoulders and stood me upright. “It will take a while to get your sea legs.”

  “No, it won’t,” Pepper said.

  “Yes, it will. Why do you always argue with me?”

  “I don’t,” Pepper replied.

  “Yes, you do.”

  Both heads turned to me. “Which way to Clam Island?” Salty asked.

  I gasped. “Which way? Why are you asking me?”

  “Because I don’t know,” he replied.

  “I don’t know, either,” Pepper said.

  Those words sent a stab of fear into my heart. Were we lost already?

  “Follow the moon,” a voice said from the stairway. Mad Madeline appeared from the deck below.

  The two heads spun to her. “Follow the moon? It’s the middle of the afternoon.”

  “Follow the moon,” she repeated. “It will never lead you wrong.” She took her braids and tied them in a double knot.

  A wave of panic swept over me. I forced myself to speak. “You really don’t know the way to Clam Island?” I said in a trembling voice.

  “I believe it’s that way,” Salty said. His left hand pointed right. His right hand pointed left.

  “Omigosh,” I uttered. “Well … who is steering the ship?”

  “Look on the captain’s bridge,” he replied. He pointed to a raised deck at the back of the ship.

  I saw Chuckles the chimp standing up there. He had a banana in one hand and the big wooden ship’s wheel in the other. He was spinning the wheel one way, then the other.

  “The chimp is steering the ship?” I cried, unable to hold down my total panic.

  “He doesn’t know where we’re going,” Madeline chimed in. “But we’re making good speed.”

  “Why?” I demanded. “Why is Chuckles steering the ship?”

  Salty spoke in a low voice. “Do you want to be the one to tell him he can’t?”

  “But you’re a sailor, right?” I cried. “You’ve sailed on this ship many times? And you really don’t know how to guide us to the island?”

  He shrugged. Both heads shook no. “I’ve been sailing all my life …” Salty started.

  “No, you haven’t,” Pepper interrupted.

  “I’ve been sailing all my life, but directions have always been a mystery to me.”

  “Me too,” Pepper added.

  I blinked. Did they just agree on something?

  The ship rocked again. Bursts of wind sent my hair flying straight back. I shivered.

  I was trapped on a ship with these lunatics. Already lost on the ocean. The ship was being guided by a chimpanzee in a sailor suit. And no one had a clue how to navigate us to where we were going.

  Where was Shawn? I had to tell him we were in worse trouble than we had imagined.

  Just as these thoughts swept through my panicked mind, my brother
appeared in the stairway from below. He pushed past Madeline and stumbled toward me across the deck.

  “Look what I found in the cabin below,” Shawn cried. He raised a rolled-up sheet of canvas in one hand. “It’s a map.”

  “Really?” I cried. “A map that shows the way to Clam Island?”

  Shawn nodded. “Yes. It has all these lines drawn on it. And one line goes straight to Clam Island.”

  “Oh, thank goodness!” I said. “Thank goodness! A map!”

  Shawn held it up and started to unroll it.

  “Let me see that,” Salty said. He grabbed it out of Shawn’s hands.

  “No. Let me see it!” Pepper shouted.

  The map went from one hand to the other.

  “I saw it first!” Salty exclaimed.

  “Let me see it!” Pepper cried.

  The left hand grabbed it. Then the right hand grabbed it back.

  The two hands appeared to fight over it.

  “Give it to me!”

  “Let me see it!”

  A strong blast of wind sent the rolled-up map flying out of their hands.

  “Oh noooooo!” I screamed as I watched the map sail over the railing, plunge down into the water, and disappear in the waves.

  I grabbed the rail and gazed down into the water. My stomach felt as if ocean waves were tossing inside me. I had to force myself to breathe.

  I turned back to the others. “Now what are we going to do?” I cried. “What will we do without a map?”

  “Follow the moon,” Madeline said. “It’s all so easy if you follow the moon.”

  Up on the captain’s bridge, I saw Chuckles start another banana. He had one hand on the wheel, spinning it one way, then the other.

  “It’s all your fault,” Pepper told his other head.

  “No. Your fault,” Salty replied.

  “Without a map, we’re lost,” I moaned, shaking my head sadly.

  “No, we’re not,” Shawn said. “I think we are okay.”

  Everyone turned to him. “Shawn, what do you mean?” I asked.

  “I memorized the map,” he answered. “At least, I think I did.”

  “I memorized the map, too,” Madeline said. “But I never saw it. I memorized it without seeing it.”

  “Clam Island is directly northeast of here,” Shawn said. “If we follow a straight line northeast, we will find it.”

  “Sorry,” Salty said, “but sailors don’t say northeast. You have to say nor’ east. If you don’t say nor’ east, we don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Not true,” Pepper argued.

  “We need someone to steer us nor’ east,” I said. “I don’t think Chuckles can do it.”

  I glanced at the captain’s bridge. Chuckles was standing on his head now, scratching his stomach.

  “Of course Chuckles can’t do it,” Salty said. “Chuckles is a chimpanzee.”

  “Well, I can man the wheel,” Pepper said. “I steered many a sailing ship to shore.”

  “No, you haven’t,” Salty told his other head.

  “I can try,” Pepper replied.

  Madeline climbed up to the bridge. She took Chuckles by the hand and led him down. “Chuckles and I are going down to my cabin to have a chat.”

  “Hoot hoot hoot,” said Chuckles.

  “Maybe we’ll play a game of chess,” Madeline said.

  “Hoot hoot.”

  “I know what you’re saying,” she told Chuckles. “You don’t enjoy it because I always win. But that’s because you’re a chimp and you don’t know the rules.”

  I watched them disappear down the stairs.

  Salty and Pepper climbed up to the bridge and took the wheel. They moved it steadily between their hands.

  As Shawn and I watched, the two heads tilted up toward the sky and began to sing a sea song into the wind, loud and strong.

  We’re salty dogs, salty dogs are we,

  And like salty dogs everywhere, we sail the salty sea.

  We sail the salty sea

  We sail the salty sea,

  We’re salty dogs, yes, salty dogs,

  And where the rolling waves take us,

  Salty dogs we be.

  Salty sang the melody, and Pepper sang harmony, and it sounded pretty good.

  The sun was red now, lowering itself so low, it appeared to be sinking into the tossing waters. High clouds swept slowly above us. The water shimmered and sparkled as we moved over it.

  I started to feel a little better. If Shawn read the map correctly, we were on the right course. And Salty Magee seemed to know how to handle the wheel.

  I turned to Shawn, who was staring out at the blazing colors of the setting sun. “Maybe we’ll get lucky,” I said. “Maybe we can get to that island and back.”

  “Maybe,” Shawn said.

  Our luck held for another ten minutes. Then the ship sprung a leak.

  Shawn and I stood at the railing, gazing down at the tossing green waters. Up on the bridge, Salty and Pepper sang their song for at least the tenth time as they guided the wheel.

  The air had grown cooler, and strong gusts ruffled my hair. I was thinking of going down to our cabin below when I heard sounds in the stairway.

  Chuckles appeared first, followed by Madeline. I gasped when I saw they were both dripping wet. “What happened?” I cried.

  Madeline squeezed water from her hair. She grinned at me. “Chuckles and I, we were swimming.”

  Shawn’s eyes were bulging out of his head. “Swimming?”

  Madeline nodded. “Yes. Swimming in the pool down below.”

  Above us, Salty and Pepper let go of the ship’s wheel and started to climb down from the bridge. “Swimming pool?” Salty barked. “We don’t have a swimming pool on this ship.”

  Madeline’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, I see. Then there must be a leak.”

  Chuckles hooted and scratched the wet fur on his chest.

  Salty leaped to the deck. Both heads let out cries of alarm.

  Shawn and I started toward the stairway. But the ship suddenly tilted up on a strong wave. We lost our balance and stumbled back to the railing.

  Salty and Pepper were already in the stairwell. I heard their shoes clumping down the wooden steps. And then I heard their horrified scream from down below. “Sinking! The Jolly Sea Scab is sinking!”

  I grabbed Shawn’s hand. The wind blew my hair into my face. I forced myself to breathe. Panic choked my throat.

  Madeline shook her head. “I should have remembered. No pool on board.” She slapped her forehead. “What was I thinking?”

  Shawn’s eyes were still wide. His face had gone pale. He squeezed my hand. “Violet? Are we all going to drown?”

  Before I could answer, Salty and Pepper jumped back up on deck. The legs of their sailor pants were soaked through. “We’re not going to drown,” Salty answered Shawn.

  “Yes, we are,” Pepper said, his voice trembling.

  “No, we’re not,” Salty insisted. “We have a lifeboat—remember?”

  “Yes, you’re right,” Pepper said. “I forgot.”

  “You didn’t forget, Pepper. You just like to argue.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “STOP ARGUING, you two!” I screamed. “Where is the lifeboat? Get us to the lifeboat!”

  “I think it’s tea time,” Madeline said. She checked her pocket watch, even though she didn’t have a pocket or a watch. “Can we have a nice cup of tea before we hit the lifeboat?”

  The ship tilted again, and we were all thrown together in a heap.

  “We … we’re definitely sinking,” Shawn murmured. “I … I don’t like this, Violet.”

  “No time for tea,” Salty told Madeline. “We are going down fast. We have to man the lifeboat. Follow me!”

  “Follow me!” Pepper said.

  Holding on to the deck rail as the ship sank in the waves, Shawn and I followed to the other end of the ship. I saw the lifeboat hanging above the deck on thick ropes.

/>   It was a long, narrow rowboat with oars hooked onto both sides. Salty shoved the boat over the side of the ship’s deck. Then he began untying knots in the ropes. “I’ll have the boat in the water in no time,” he said.

  Chuckles screeched. He slapped Shawn on the back enthusiastically.

  It didn’t take more than a few minutes. Salty freed the ropes and the rowboat dropped with a loud splash into the rolling ocean below.

  Shawn and I peered down at it. It looked so tiny, bobbing in the deep green waves along the side of our sinking ship.

  “How do we get down to it?” I asked.

  Salty heaved a rope ladder over the side. “Ye climb down and ye’ll be safe as clam chowder.”

  I swallowed. My heart was beating hard. That rowboat looked a long way down. The ship was rocking and tilting as it sank. Would I be able to hold on to the rope ladder and lower myself safely?

  Chuckles hopped up and down excitedly. Madeline shook her head. “I left my favorite nose whistle down below. Can I go get it?”

  “No time,” Salty said, pushing her toward the rope ladder. “Ye know the rule of the sea. Women and children first.”

  “Yes. Women and children first,” Pepper said, definitely agreeing with his other head this time.

  Madeline stepped aside. She grabbed me by the shoulders and moved me to the top of the rope ladder. “Women and children first,” she repeated. “Down you go, Violet. Happy landings.”

  Now my heart was beating so hard, my chest ached. My muscles all froze. I grabbed the side ropes of the ladder. My hands were shaking so hard, I could barely grip them.

  I turned and lowered my shoes to the first rung of the ladder. Shawn leaned over the side. “Good luck, Violet. You can do it. I’ll be right behind you.”

  The ship tossed and I nearly lost my hold on the ladder. I gasped and gripped the rough rope tighter. I started to lower one foot to the next rung.

  “You can do it. You can do it!” Shawn called after me.

  But I stopped when I saw Chuckles leap onto the ship’s railing above me. The big chimp balanced on the railing. Bent his knees. Once. Twice.

  Then he leaped off the railing, over the side of the ship.

  Gripping the rope ladder, I watched him fall. His arms high over his head, he plunged straight down. He landed inside the lifeboat with a loud crash and thud. The rowboat bounced high in the water, then splashed back down.