Forever a Jett Girl (Bourbon #3)

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said, while she tossed the phone on my desk. “You know what really hurts, Jett? Is that you didn’t even give me a chance to prove to you how much I care for you, how much I love you. Yeah, love, that’s right, I used the scary L word. Oh no, commitment and opening up are coming at you,” she said, while making scary fingers at me. “I sat by and waited for you to open up, to realize that, in fact, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you. I waited while you tried to figure out this Lot 17 bullshit, and I waited as you took the kiwi out to events, events I should have been attending. I even stood by, trusted you, when there were compromising pictures in the tabloids of you two. I stood by your side and had faith in what you were doing for us, what you were trying to give us, but the minute I try to do the same, reciprocate the affection, you turn away from me, you drop me like a bad fucking habit and leave me to fend for myself.”

  Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and pulled away. “I’ve dealt with enough bullshit in my life that I think it’s about time I figured out what’s best for me without an over-domineering man telling me what I can and cannot do. I gave you a chance, Jett; I gave you everything I had from my body, to my soul, and you lost it. You handled me with a hand full of razor blades and have cut me open. Well, you know what? I don’t need this club, I don’t need the Bourbon Room, and I don’t need you, Jett. I’m an amazing woman with a heart of gold and the determination to make something of myself. If I have to take the long route to make that happen, then I will. Don’t give yourself so much credit; you can’t save everyone.”

  With that, she turned on her heel and walked out of my office and out of my life without a backward glance.

  19

  “Brand New Me”

  Goldie

  Arrogant, self-centered, asshole!

  I busted through my old bedroom door to see my art supplies packed up, my clothes in bags, and my makeup sitting in boxes. The man didn’t even give me a chance.

  I hated him; I fucking hated him.

  My heart sunk to the floor the moment I found out that he thought I would cheat on him…that he would think I turned to someone else when he was all I ever needed.

  All I wanted was to be the one who took care of him, who made him happy, who made him come alive and shed the walls he’d put up years ago.

  No matter how hard you try, how much passion and love you give someone else, they might never change. I thought I’d made it quite clear to Jett that I was the only one for him, that I wanted nothing more than to be the woman by his side, but, apparently, he couldn’t get that through his thick-headed skull.

  Unfortunately, anything I had taken with me to Rex’s house was a lost cause now, since I wouldn’t be going back there, so I had to pack up some clothes, grab my personal items I left behind, and get the hell out of this house, because the longer I stayed, the unhealthier I could feel myself get.

  My body wanted to retreat back upstairs and beg to be a part of his life, for him to love me the way I love him, but I refused to lower myself to such a demeaning state. For once in my life, I needed to figure out what I wanted, not what someone else wanted or what I needed to do to stay afloat.

  I had money now, thanks to my short stint as a Jett Girl; I needed to make use of it.

  It was depressing, seeing my room so empty, as if my time at the Lafayette Club meant nothing.

  Slowly, I went around and gathered some clothes, make-up, and shoes. Opening my night stand drawer, I took my credit card that was connected to the account Jett set up for me. I never thought I would touch it, because when I was at the Club, I didn’t need it. Everything was taken care of for me, but now I needed it, and I knew the first thing that I was going to do with that card.

  I packed up a few of my art supplies, mostly the ones I came to the club with, and then turned to look at the room that held so many memories for me.

  There were multiple times I’d stayed at the Lafayette Club when I’d threatened to leave, where I was on the verge of packing up and taking off, but I was always stopped. Now, I knew there was no stopping me. This was the last time for me in the club.

  You can’t make someone love you, no matter how hard you try.

  With a deep breath, I took one last look at the yellow room that sheltered me, my sanctuary for a short period of time, and turned to walk out my door when I slammed into Lyla and Kace.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Lyla said, with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Please don’t, Lyla, just let me go.”

  “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. What the hell is going on? All we know is there was some big bust down at Rex’s place.”

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “There was, we were all thrown in jail. Jett bailed me out and left me there. I came back here to talk to him, but he wanted nothing to do with me, because Rex sent him a picture of what he thought was me in a compromising position. Jett believed Rex, and that’s that. I’m out.”

  “That picture wasn’t you?” Kace asked.

  I flashed an angry glare at Kace. “What did I tell you the other day, Kace? Do you really think I would do that to Jett?”

  “Then, tell me it wasn’t you.”

  “It wasn’t me,” I shouted. “Fuck, why doesn’t anyone believe me around here?” Frustration overtook me and tears started to form in my eyes once again. I hated crying, but when I became so overwhelmed with frustration, I couldn’t help it.

  “I believe you,” Lyla comforted with a hug. I looked over at Kace, who had a distressed look on his face, like he wanted to believe me, but it was hard for him to do so.

  Pulling away, I walked over to Kace and pushed his chest. “What is wrong with you? Why are you having a hard time believing me? I can see it all over your face.”

  “It looked like you, Goldie.”

  “How would you know? You’ve never seen me bent over like that.” Kace winced at my nasty tone. “But I guess you would take Jett’s side. We’re not friends, right, Kace?” He was about to speak when I stopped him. “Save it. Not that I need to explain, but that was a picture of Mercy, one of the girls who worked at Masquerade. She might look very similar to me, but she was missing one thing. My birthmark on her lower back. Check the picture again, Kace.”

  I shook my head and pushed past Kace.

  “Goldie, don’t leave,” Lyla called out.

  I turned and shrugged my shoulders as I looked at her. “There’s nothing left here for me, Lyla. I need to find out who I am, and I’m not going to do that living here, pretending like the man upstairs actually cares about me.”

  “Where are you going to stay?”

  “I’ll figure something out.”

  “Stay with me,” Lyla said, moving forward. “I’m done here. I was only here to help because you were gone. I don’t need this.”

  I glanced up at Kace and noticed how his features turned from confused to troubled at Lyla’s words. It was clear he cared for her, maybe more than he cared for me.

  “No, you do need this, Lyla. You can’t stay at Kitten’s Castle forever; you’re better than that. Stay here, earn an education, and start a new life. You deserve it.”

  “But, Goldie…”

  “Lyla, I love you, I really do, but you have to let me go. I’ll be fine. I’ve been through hell and back; this is just a minor speed bump in the shitty life I’ve had.”

  The lies that were pouring out of my mouth were convincing enough for Lyla, but did nothing to affect my mood. I wanted to believe that leaving this house was a good move…that I would be happy, but I knew I wouldn’t. Jett owned me; he owned every piece of me, and getting over him would be the hardest thing I ever did, harder than saying goodbye to my parents, and harder than selling my body to make it in the world. Jett Colby was someone you just didn’t get over; Jett Colby was a staple in my life, an unyielding presence that will forever be a part of my heart.

  With a sad smile, I turned away and headed down the stairs
, secretly praying Jett would come after me. That he would come flying down the stairs and stop me from leaving, beg for my forgiveness, but he never came. He never showed up; he never begged.

  ***

  “He will be right out, ma’am. You can have a seat if you would like.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, as I took a seat on one of the worn out blue chairs.

  My mind was still reeling from the emotional trauma I was just put through. I was cut in half by Jett not trusting me, but the icing on top of the cake was Kace not believing me. We’ve always had a love hate relationship, but we’ve always been honest with each other, so the fact that he automatically thought I would turn my back so quickly against Jett hurt.

  A buzz rang out in the sterile room I was sitting in and a door opened. Wearing a borrowed shirt and the same pants he’d been wearing earlier was Blane, but instead of the normal mischievous look on his face, he was more somber, concerned.

  “Hey,” I said, as I stood up.

  Blane stopped in his tracks when he saw me, shocked at my being the one in the waiting room.

  “Goldie, what are you doing here?”

  Twisting my hands together, I answered honestly. “I couldn’t leave you behind. I feel like we were in this together, and we have to finish it together.”

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say,” he replied, while pulling on the back of his neck. “Did you post my bail?”

  “I did.” It was the first purchase I made with my Jett Girl money, and I was damn proud of the decision. Everyone deserves a second chance, and it was Blane’s turn to make a new life for himself, a life without constraints.

  Smiling at me, he walked toward me and wrapped me in his arms. “Thank you,” he whispered near my ear, sending goosebumps down my skin.

  “You’re welcome,” I replied, while hugging him.

  I didn’t know Blane that well, but what I did know, I liked. He was a good guy who’d made some bad decisions. Not everyone is perfect.

  Blane wrapped his hand around my shoulder and we walked out of the Police Department together. We were greeted by the muggy night, which only New Orleans could offer. The night was just beginning for many, but for me, I was ready to call it, to bury my head in a pillow and end this horrible day.

  “How did you get out?” Blane asked, as we started walking toward the French Quarter.

  “Jett, he posted bail.”

  “So, why aren’t you with him right now then?”

  Cringing, I said, “That’s not going to happen.”

  “Why not?” Blane pressed.

  “Classic Rex, the scumbag, sent Jett a picture of him and Mercy together. The picture could have easily been me, since we look so similar. Clearly, Jett thought I was with Rex, and wanted nothing to do with me. We said some pretty bad things to each other, and I left, for good. He didn’t come after me.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes,” I nodded. “I’m done with the Lafayette Club, I’m done with being a Jett Girl, and I’m done with Jett Colby. I feel like he’s caused me nothing but heartache.”

  That wasn’t true; the man had caused me a lot more than heartache. He taught me how to live again, how to enjoy life and live it to its fullest. He taught me that people are allowed to have second chances and can actually climb out of the pit of despair they might have fallen into. Jett changed everything about my life; he showed me what it was like to hand my heart over to someone. He was everything to me.

  “Seems like you still care about him,” Blane pointed out, as we walked down Canal Street.

  “Of course I do,” I sighed. “It’s hard not to when you love someone so deeply. It’s hard to just clean them out of your life. It’s going to take some time.”

  “I can believe that. Was he the one who busted Rex?”

  “I’m pretty sure. He didn’t come out and say it, but it’s kind of obvious. He knew everything that happened.” I thought about our fight and sighed again. “I also kind of messed up.”

  “How so?”

  “Jett is a man who needs to have control over every aspect of his life, and by me leaving, I took that away from him.”

  “I’m going to stop you right there,” Blane interrupted me. “You left to help protect him, to find a solution. By no means should he be mad at that.”

  “You don’t get it,” I argued. “You’re a dom; you need control…”

  “In the bedroom.”

  “Not in real life?”

  “Well, I guess in some ways,” he admitted.

  “Jett needs it in all ways. By me taking charge, in his head it looks like I didn’t trust him to protect me, to take care of things.”

  “Is that how you felt?”

  “No,” I said softly. “I just…ugh, I just wanted everything to be normal. I’m so beyond impatient. It seemed like things were never going to end, and I wasn’t sure how much more of the hiding I could take. I thought that if I went out there, tried to find a solution, I might be able to make things better. Instead, everything just blew up in my face.”

  “Seems like we should be walking in the opposite direction, toward the Garden District.”

  I shook my head no. “No, as much as my heart is begging for me to go back to him, my brain is winning out. I need to figure out what I want outside of Jett Colby, what I want to do with my life, because stripping down for men and offering them lap dances is not going to pay the bills forever.”

  “I can respect that. So, where to now?”

  We stopped in front of our destination and Blane gave me a quizzical look. With two knocks on the door, I waited for it to be opened.

  I could hear someone running down the stairs to open the door. Locks clicked open and light spilled through the entrance. Standing in only a pair of sweats, looking fine, as usual, was Diego.

  “Goldie, what are you doing here?” he asked, as he rubbed the top of his head and held onto the door frame.

  “We need jobs and a place to stay. Can you help us out?”

  Diego sized up Blane and smiled.

  “I think we can arrange something.”

  19

  “Say You Love Me”

  Jett

  “Are you nervous?” Kace asked me.

  “No, have I ever been nervous?”

  “When you went to ask out Christina in high school you were. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sweat so much.”

  I gave him a pointed look. “I was fifteen and she was a senior with a rack that had every guy in school sweating. Pretty sure I have an excuse for that.”

  “Still, you were nervous,” Kace said with a smirk.

  I shrugged and looked out the window. For some reason, New Orleans looked less exciting than normal. I used to enjoy the sights and sounds only true natives of the town could appreciate, but right now, everything seemed so bland. I tried to ignore the reason, why I’d been walking around the club for the past week like a ghost, as if my soul was sucked right out of me, but I knew the reason.

  I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.

  It wasn’t hard to see. I destroyed the trust we’d built, I let my stubbornness get in the way, and I was blinded by pride. I deserved the loss of Goldie.

  “Are you ever going to talk about what happened?” Kace pressed.

  The incessant best friend of mine wouldn’t drop the subject of what happened at the club and why Goldie left. I knew he knew exactly why Goldie left, because I heard him talking to her near her bedroom with Lyla, but classic Kace wouldn’t let it drop there.

  “It’s over; why bring up the past?” I asked, while adjusting the cuffs of my shirt.

  “Because you’re not the same person. When I’m in one of my self-induced exiles, you make me talk about it.”

  “That’s because I’m afraid you’re going to do something stupid, like commit suicide,” I smirked at him.

  “I wouldn’t make it that easy on you. Come on, man, just fucking tell me. I hate all this whiney bullshit you’ve been p
utting the whole house through.”

  “Whiney? Last time I checked, I don’t whine.”

  “Well, you sure as hell aren’t a shining beacon caressing us with angel kisses and cuddling clouds.”

  I eyed Kace up and down. “Lose your balls somewhere on this ride?”

  “Sometimes, I think I did,” Kace said, while looking out the window.

  “Lyla giving you a run for your money?” I asked, grateful for the subject change.

  Kace rubbed his forehead in frustration. “She’s infuriating. She doesn’t ever listen. It’s like directions go in one ear and out the other, and the worst part about it is she’s influencing the other Jett Girls. When did we lose control?”

  I shook my head and laughed. I knew the answer to that, the minute Goldie walked in the house. She shifted the atmosphere of the entire club. The girls always held the cards, but she turned into the fucking dealer.

  “I think you know the answer to that.”

  Kace wiped his mouth with his hand. “I told you Goldie was a bad choice,” he smirked.

  “You were right when you said she wasn’t Jett Girl material; she is so much more than that. She’s a complex twist of sunshine and rain, a bright spot on a dull day, a compact ball of fucking sass and defiance.”

  “But, you can’t help but love her,” Kace pressed.

  Looking out the window, I nodded my head. He was right, I couldn’t help but love her and every little defiant and caring bone in her body. I was so fucking in over my head when it came to Goldie that I didn’t know how to handle the feelings running through me.

  I wanted to protect her, dominate her, care for her, and love her, but I had no clue how to do those things, because for the first time in my life, instead of me being the dominant, Goldie was. She owned every last inch of me, and right about now, I would do anything she said to be with her. Fucking anything.