Forever a Jett Girl (Bourbon #3)

  I watched in horror as Goldie stood on her toes and placed a kiss on Blane’s cheek. I felt like I was going to lose everything that had built up over the past few weeks. All the pent up angst, the need for her, the urge to take her the way I wanted…it was all about to come crashing down with that little display of affection.

  I felt cold, numb, like I was nothing but an empty void.

  Slowly, I watched as Goldie stepped away from him and then turned toward me. With a nod of her head toward the stairs that led into the greens of the square, I followed her with a dejected demeanor, a fucking broken heart, as I realized this was going to be my last attempt to try to win her back.

  Leaning up against a stone wall, she looked up at me and said, “What do you want, Jett?”

  “Are you with him?” I asked, needing to know, needing to end the misery I was going through.

  “Excuse me? I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she said defiantly.

  “It is my business,” I closed in on her, needing to be closer. “Tell me, are you with him?”

  “And, if I was?” she lifted her chin.

  If she was? What the fuck would I do? Probably lose my damn mind and go ape shit crazy on the man’s ass, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “That’s something I will deal with if it’s true. So, are you with him?”

  She bit on her bottom lip as she looked to the side and nodded her head yes.

  Every bone in my body melted from the confirmation. I felt like my heart burst in my chest, and not in a good way. She was with someone else.

  “I see,” I said, as I cleared my throat and took a step back. “The least you could have done was to have the dignity to look me in the eye when you say you’re with him.”

  Her head dropped, and all I could see was the sun hat that was blocking my view of her gorgeous face.

  “Goldie, look at me.”

  She shook her head no and turned her back toward me. Needing her to tell me to my face she was with Blane, I gently turned her back around and lifted her chin. Tears fell from her eyes as she looked up at me. I thought I knew pain…that was until I saw Goldie cry.

  The need to wrap her up in my arms and make everything better overtook my body as I tried to pull her into my chest, but her hands stopped me.

  “Don’t,” she said between tear-soaked breaths.

  “Goldie…” I said softly. “Please, talk to me. Why are you crying? Is he hurting you?”

  “No!” her head snapped up. “You’re hurting me, Jett. You’re the one making me cry, not him.”

  The memories I have of Goldie are happy ones, sexy ones, heartfelt ones. The Goldie standing in front of me was not a Goldie I knew. She was angry, upset, and mad. I’ve seen her mad at me before, but not like this, as if she’d lost the spark in her eyes.

  I was at a loss. I had no clue how to handle this, how to talk to her without sounding like a tool, but I could feel her slipping away with each passing second. I had to do something. I had to throw myself out there.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, while trying to take her hand, but she denied me that as well.

  “Is that all?” she asked, as she wiped a tear from under her eye right before she crossed her arms over her chest.

  “No, I want to talk to you.”

  “Talk then,” she said, while gesturing to me.

  I ran my hand through my hair and put myself out there.

  “I came here to ask you out.”

  Her arms uncrossed as she stared at me with the most adorable perplexed face.

  “What did you say?”

  My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I said, “I wanted to ask you out on a date. Just you and me.”

  I could see a bit of her eyes start to light up again at my question, which gave me hope…hope that was threatened to be ripped right out from under me with one little word from her.

  “Why would you want to ask me out?”

  She wasn’t going to make this fucking easy at all. I wasn’t one to show my feelings, to make them known, especially in a public place, so I was struggling to find the right words, but knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t ever see her again, simple as that.

  “Goldie, I’ve been a bastard. I’ve treated you with disrespect and acted like a fool full of jealousy. I didn’t give you a chance to prove your ability to take care of us, and I’m forever regretful about that. I know I can’t change the past, but I can start a new future. I want another chance, I want to be able to treat you like you’re supposed to be treated. I want a life with you, but I know I have to prove it to you first.”

  “That’s right you have to prove it to me,” she snapped at me, while pushing my chest with her finger. A small smile threatened to cross my face, but I held my features together so I didn’t piss her off any more. “It’s so infuriating how you can just walk in to my life again and disrupt everything. It’s not fair. I should be able to have you come up to me and not start sweating or have to clench my thighs together because my damn pussy can smell your dick from a mile away. I mean, damn it, Jett, you have no right showing up here. I’m doing fine without you,” she ranted, and then said softly, “I’m doing fine.”

  Stepping closer, I asked, “Are you sure you’re doing fine?”

  Her blue eyes glistened up at me as tears threatened to fall over once again. She nodded slowly, but closed her eyes shut, not being able to lie to me. I knew she was lying; it was written all over her face.

  “Don’t lie to me, Goldie.”

  “What do you care? You have everything you ever wanted. Now that Lot 17 is your property and your dad is headed for the slammer, what else do you need? What else do you really want? It’s not like you’re ready to open up that cold heart of yours.”

  Ouch, but I deserved that.

  “That’s exactly what I want, Goldie. I want to start from the beginning with you. I want to learn who you are, date you, and spoil you. I want to do this right; I want to do us right.”

  “There is no us, Jett,” she tried to push away, but I didn’t let her go far.

  “Then, why are you so upset?” I asked, hoping I would strike a nerve. By the look in her eyes, I did.

  “Why am I so upset? Hmm, let me see…”

  Oh shit, sarcasm at its best was coming my way.

  “You insert yourself into my life, like literally don’t give me an option other than to follow your rules and do what you ask, because, heaven forbid if your voice isn’t sexy as hell. Then you take me up to your stupid Bourbon Room, where you fucking show me what sex is, what it feels like to have a real man bury himself inside of me. You show me a whole new world of sex…and damn it if I don’t love and hate you for it. Then I go and get attached to you, because you’re this brilliantly sexy man who is oh-so-fucking sensitive and just ‘needs time’,” she continued, as she used air quotes. “Which is just fucking fantastic, because by then, I’m already attached, I’m already in deep, so thanks for that. And when I finally think we’re going somewhere and you’re taking me to events, you decide to hide me instead, increasing the craving I have for you. And then, do you know what happened, Jettonathan?” she asked, with her hands on her hips, using the stupid ass name she came up with for me. I’m about to answer when she holds her hand up to stop me. “No, I don’t want to hear it; I’ll tell you what happened. I went and tried to make everything better, just asking for one simple thing from you. To have faith in me like I had in you, but holy shit was that too hard for you, because the powerful man needs his control,” she waved her hands around like a lunatic as she spoke to me. “Heaven forbid the male debutant with the penis of a Greek god doesn’t have control for a short period of time. Fuck, Jett, you ruined everything! You ask why I’m upset? Because, since my parents passed, you’ve taken the one and only thing I’ve ever cared about. You took away your heart.”

  What was I supposed to say to that? She was right, everything she said was absolutely right.

  Instead of arguing and being the stub
born man I usually was, I nodded my head and said, “I know; I fucked up.”

  Shock registered across her face as she swallowed my words with her rant.

  “Oh, so you agree?” she asked, while she scrunched her nose.

  “Completely.”

  “Well,” she looked around and then patted her shorts. “I don’t really know what to say now. I wasn’t expecting you to agree.”

  “Do you not want me to agree so you can keep arguing?” I asked with a smile that I knew would hit her hard.

  “Oh, no, don’t, you can’t do that,” she said, while shaking her finger at my face.

  “Do what?” I smiled again, inching closer to her.

  “You know what, that whole charming male dominant thing. I will not fall for it.”

  “You sure?” I asked, as I moved inches away from her and rested my hands on her hips.

  “Yes, I’m positive,” she sucked in a deep breath at my proximity. “Wh-what are you doing?”

  “Trying to remove that crinkle between your eyes.”

  “Blane will see you,” she said quickly, trying to deter me.

  “Like I give a fuck about Blane; don’t bullshit me, you’re not seeing him.” I took a shot, hoping I was right. I didn’t believe she was seeing Blane by the mere fact of how she reacted to me, to our situation.

  Looking away, she whispered she was, but I didn’t bite; she was lying.

  “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re with another man. Look at me Goldie.”

  Sighing, she turned her head and stared me in the eyes.

  “Tell me you’re with him,” I repeated.

  She bit her bottom lip as her eyes searched mine. With a frustrated grunt, she pushed away from me and started pacing the little section of the garden we were in.

  “Ugh, you’re so infuriating. Of course I’m not seeing him. You happy?”

  “Very,” I smirked.

  “I hate you,” she spat back, while she looked at me with fury.

  “No, you don’t,” I smiled back.

  Shaking her head at me, she sat down on the half wall and brought her knees up to her chest.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “You know what I want,” I said, as I took a seat next to her. “I want to date you. I want to start fresh with you. Treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

  “Because you want sex…” she said, while she buried her head in her knees.

  “No,” I said softly, as I moved my head down to her ear. “Not because I want sex, because I want you, Goldie; I want your heart, your smart mouth, your defiance, I want everything.”

  “I hate that I want the same thing,” she admitted. “I want to hate you, I want you to leave me alone, but I know that won’t fix the numbing ache in my heart. Why does this have to be so hard?”

  “The best things in life are hard, Little One,” I replied.

  Silence fell between us while I gave her time to think about my proposal. I didn’t want to pressure her, but damn it if I didn’t want to wrap her up in my arms right then and there.

  There were moments in my life when I sat back and assessed the decisions I made. Proposing to Natasha was a huge mistake, one that I would regret because the emotional abuse she put me through has set me back in my current relationship…well, the one I used to have with Goldie. Asking Goldie to be a Jett Girl, smartest decision I’ve ever made, because I found a mirror image of myself in her. I found my counterpart.

  Interrupting my thoughts, she finally spoke up. “I won’t live with you.”

  “What?” I asked, as my head snapped to the side. “That’s non-negotiable. Do you really think you’re going to live with Diego? He’s a horny bastard, no way.”

  Goldie put her feet on the ground and stood up right in front of me so I had to look up at her. She pushed my shoulder with her two little fingers and said, “Do you know what’s non-negotiable? My requirements if this is going to happen,” she said, while waving her hand between us.

  I ground my teeth as I felt the control starting to slip away, once again. It was always like that with Goldie; I never truly had a firm grasp on it.

  “Don’t tick your jaw at me; I can see it throbbing with uncertainty.” She poked the side of my jaw as she spoke. I couldn’t help but smile at how tough she was trying to be. “Ugh, and don’t smirk either, that’s more irritating.”

  “Sorry,” I chuckled. “What are your requirements?”

  She thought about it for a second, and then said, “I get to stay with Diego. No sex…”

  “No sex,” I gulped, trying not to look desperate.

  “That’s right, Mr. Demonic Devil in the bedroom, no sex.”

  “Demonic Devil?” I asked with a quirked eyebrow that she quickly rubbed out with her two fingers.

  “Don’t give me that eyebrow; you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  Swallowing hard, I said, “Fine, no sex.”

  The smile that spread across her face was almost annoying, as if she didn’t look so damn adorable already. I hated succumbing to her, but damn, if she gave me that heart melting smile every time, then I would be giving up more often.

  “You have to talk about your feelings, you have to open up to me, and you have to trust me. I’m not saying I forgive you or that this is going to work, but I’m willing to give it a try if you don’t act so closed off to me. I can’t be shut out of your life anymore; I refuse to be. If you want to be with me, then I am requiring that every last part of you to be with me, not just half.”

  I knew that was coming, and I was willing to be what she wanted. I was willing to open up my wounds again for her because I knew with her by my side, I would heal once again.

  “You want all of me, Little One? Then you’ll get it, but in good time. I promise you, you will get all of me.”

  “Good,” she said, almost exasperated. “Um, I don’t have a phone, so call Diego to set up a date. Until then, take care.”

  And with that, she walked away, leaving quite the fucking wake.

  23

  “Arrows”

  Goldie

  “That tickles,” Tootse squealed as she shifted to the side, making my paintbrush fly to her arm.

  “Can you hold still, please? This will take forever if you don’t hold still.”

  “I don’t understand why I had to be purple; I think pink would have better suited me,” Tootse complained, as she continued to wiggle.

  “No one is going to know it’s you, and pink isn’t a color of Mardi Gras. Just hold still.”

  “Why did we agree to do this?” Tootse asked, as she looked over at Francy and Lyla, once again making my brush fly to the side.

  Pressing my fingers against my forehead, I took a deep and calming breath, and then looked at Francy. “Can you please control your woman? For fuck’s sake! I’m trying to be an artist here.”

  “If painting tits is being an artist, then damn, I want to be an artist,” Francy shot back, as she walked over to Tootse and wrapped her arms around her waist and spoke into her ear. “Now, sweetie, can you just hold still for a little while longer while Lo finishes up painting those delectable breasts of yours?”

  Tootse instantly relaxed into Francy’s embrace and nodded her head.

  “You would think I was clamping her nipples off,” I mumbled, as I filled more paint on my brush and attacked her breasts.

  As I painted, Francy spoke into Tootse’s ear, trying to distract her from what I was doing. But, as she spoke, she rubbed her hands up and down Tootse’s stomach, making her nipples pucker to fucking bullets. A light moan escaped Tootse as I ran over her nipple, trying to coat it in paint.

  “Oh, come on,” I said, as I pulled away. “I don’t want to be a part of your little sexual experiment right now. Just hold the fuck still, and Francy, step away, I don’t need Tootse orgasming.”

  “You act like you’ve never been in a sexual experience with us before, Lo,” Francy said with a raised eyebrow.


  “We don’t talk about that,” I warned.

  “Wait, what?” Lyla asked, as she laughed and walked over to sidle up for story time. “What’s this I hear about a possible lesbian encounter? Oh, please, tell.”

  “You’re supposed to be standing in line, go on,” I tried to shoo her away.

  “Damn, relax,” Lyla smiled, as she stood back in place. “Why is this so important anyway?”

  I finished up Tootse’s breasts and grabbed my canvas as I spoke, “Because, there is an art contest that I want to enter. Whoever wins gets a spotlight in the art gallery on Royal. It would be a dream come true.”

  “So, you’re squishing breasts against a canvas to win?” Francy asked, confused.

  “Yes,” I said, matter-of-factly. “It’s all about interpretation. Now, put your back against the wall, Tootse, and for God’s sake, do not move.”

  Like the good little girl she was, Tootse backed up against the wall and put her hands on her head like we practiced together before I painted her breasts. We had to do a couple of practice rounds, so she knew what she was getting into.

  “Are you ready?” I asked.

  “Ready,” she nodded.

  I held the canvas stiffly in my hands and angled it to the side as I pressed it against Tootse’s breasts, giving her my own personal form of a canvas mammogram. Pulling away quickly, I looked down at the canvas and was pleased when I could visibly see the outline of her nipples.

  “Oh, this is awesome,” I praised myself, as I went in for another press, but at a different angle.

  As I continued to reapply paint and press Tootse’s breasts against my canvas, the girls grilled me about my love life, something I was very much expecting when they came over. I was just surprised it took them so long to ask about it.

  “So what’s going on with Jett?” Lyla asked, just as I finished up with Tootse.

  I took the blow dryer that was plugged in and started drying the canvas, so I could move on to the next pair of breasts without smearing the colors together.

  “What about him?” I replied, acting nonchalant. I was still a little uneasy about the whole dating thing. I mean, I wanted to date him, fuck did I want to date him, but it just seemed too easy, like I was giving in too easily. The man put me through a lot, and I felt like I was going against all of womankind by just saying yes.