Elemental Hunger

  So I’d gone.

  He wore a magnificent suit of black, complete with a starched white shirt and a tie the color of lemons. His Councilmembers—including Liz—wore matching yellow Council robes.

  I’d seen something in his eyes that night. Just a flicker, but the way he’d watched me spoke volumes. He’d shifted uncomfortably, like his clothes were a prison.

  I felt like that inside my own skin. All the time.

  Right now, especially. Councilman Davison’s request was a suicide mission. How could I do it? How could I not do it?

  I placed my palm flat against the glass. The sprawling city of Gregorio lay before me, with hundreds of thousands of people and just as many problems. Pale yellow candlelight flickered in a few neighboring windows, but most of the structures squatted in darkness. All those people. Without familial bonds, all people looked to their Councilman for direction, for protection. Davison had been absent for only a week, and already chaos had descended.

  Who was I kidding? I could never govern an entire city, even after the required two years of diplomacy training and the decade of apprenticeship with another Firemaker. The gravity of that scenario crushed me until my shoulders drooped.

  “Gabby?”

  I turned, my heart jumping into my throat as I lit my hands. The fire reflected off dark eyes.

  I slugged Hanai on the shoulder with a smoking palm. “I’m going to seriously hurt you one day.”

  He slipped his hand into mine. “What are you looking at?”

  I glanced out the window again, hoping to still the frantic beating of my heart. “You think we can get a whole city of people to listen to us? We’re just kids.”

  He put his hand on my face and turned me toward him. His eyes held the unmistakable quality of love. “You can. I can feel it inside you. Sure, it won’t be easy—surviving isn’t easy. But if anyone can unite people, it’s you. Besides, we’re mentored for a decade, even after an assignment. So we have time.”

  The sincerity in his words rang true. His belief in me was astonishing.

  “Gabby, I have to say this.” He still hadn’t removed his palm from my cheek.

  “Say what?” I whispered, marveling at how time slowed into nothing when I was with him.

  “My soul…can feel yours, right? Adam’s too. I can feel everyone. It’s pretty weird. I’d gotten used to the people in my settlement, but now I can’t sort out what belongs to me and what doesn’t.” He looked down at the floor, his hair falling between us in a dark curtain.

  He shifted closer to me. “I have Spirit-speaker blood. I don’t have control over what your soul tells mine. I should be able to block it, but we’re too close. And that’s my fault. I let myself fall in love with you, just like I let myself become best friends with Adam. During all that, I lost myself.”

  A single tear slithered down his face. “I’m not sure I should be on the Council anymore,” he murmured. Then his hands settled on my waist, and he pulled me forward.

  He leaned closer, closer. Then he kissed me as if somehow I could hold him together. Or that I could tell him how to feel, or how to deal with his swirling Spirit-speaker blood. I couldn’t do any of those things, but I kissed him like I could.

  Comfort emanated from Hanai’s firm touch on my lower back. My fire burned brighter than ever, sending heat from my stomach to my fingertips. Flames danced behind my closed eyes, and I slid my fingers through his hair and clung to him with my lips.

  I realized I really liked Hanai. In a different way than Adam. He had a quick charm, striking good looks, an easy way with words.

  But Hanai possessed something deeper. I could trust him. He offered me a safe place, a haven from the inferno that had become my life. With his mouth still moving precisely with mine, I knew that’s what I really wanted. I knew he’d do anything for me. And I’d do anything for him. The thought both terrified and excited me.

  He pulled away and placed his finger on my tingling lips. “Gabby.” Sadness glinted in his eyes, like he knew I’d go running back to Adam as soon as he showed up. And he might be right. I wasn’t sure myself, as my feelings were ever confused when it came to Adam.

  “I need you,” I whispered.

  He gathered me in a warm embrace and placed his cheek against mine. “As much as Adam?”

  I couldn’t keep the truth inside. “Maybe more. Besides, he’s not even here.”

  Hanai pulled away from me, taking his calming touch with him. “That’s why I came to find you,” he said. “Airmaster Jones has just returned with Adam.”

  I rushed down the hall, my eyes switching from door to door. They were all closed. “Which room, Hanai?”

  “He’s in the infirmary,” he said, keeping pace with me. “Other side of the lobby. He’s not awake, Gabby. You won’t be able to talk to him.”

  “I don’t care,” I said, walking now and trying to push back tears. They spilled down my cheeks anyway. “We’re finally all together.”

  “He’s not awake,” Hanai said again, but I ignored him. When I barged into the infirmary and found Adam lying on a table, naked except for a sheet across his midsection, I couldn’t ignore Hanai’s warning any longer.

  Adam’s skin glistened like half-melted wax, and the color reminded me of the dirty snow in the Outcast settlement. He didn’t move, not even so much as a twitch when a doctor stabbed a needle into his arm.

  The black lines of the tattoo snaked over every possible inch of his body, all the way to the bottoms of his feet. I covered my hand with my mouth as Davison pressed his fingers against Adam’s temple.

  “Hanai,” he called. “Your gifts are needed.” Davison didn’t spare me a glance as Hanai crossed the room. Hanai did, his expression full of apology and agony. I wondered what it would cost him to heal Adam.

  I didn’t have time to ask before a chant filled the air, and Hanai placed his palm over Adam’s chest, and then over his face, singing all the while.

  Back in my room, I removed my Council robes and pulled on the pair of pants Hanai had given me in the Outcast settlement. I matched them with a black T-shirt, mourning the loss of my camisole.

  I lost track of time as I stood at the window, watching life pass by. The sound of the door opening and closing registered in my ears, but I didn’t turn.

  “Are you okay?” Hanai asked, making a slight noise as he settled on the bed.

  I just shook my head, trying to sort through how I felt. “I don’t think Adam is who we think he is,” I said. “Where has he been, you know?”

  “I know,” he said his voice full of exhaustion.

  I turned and found him lying on the bed, his eyes closed as he took deep breaths. “Davison had me use my healing chant to address his wounds. He had four broken ribs.”

  I crossed the room to him. “Are you okay? Does it hurt you to heal?”

  “I’m just not very good at it,” he said, his chest heaving with the effort to breathe. “My father had experienced healers in the settlement. It’s not my gift, but I’m better than nothing.”

  Finally, Hanai’s breathing quieted, but I knew he wasn’t asleep. Then he sat up. “Gabby, I have to tell you something.”

  He cleared his throat to speak. Then he glanced away. He shifted on the bed and actually made noise doing it.

  A queasy feeling stretched in my gut. “Blazes, Hanai. Just spit it out.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s what you have to tell me?”

  “I’m not who you think I am either.” He clenched his jaw and turned away. “I’m not Unmanifested.”

  I couldn’t comprehend Hanai’s words. “What?” I managed to choke out.

  “I completed the Manifestation of my Spiritual Element yesterday while you were asleep. That’s why I’ve been so sick. Well, I wasn’t really sick. More like communing.”

  Words failed me. I controlled my fire, feeling too hot, like the time Councilman Davison had summoned me.

  Hanai’s “Element” caused a lot of probl
ems. At the top of the list: We couldn’t charter a Council without an Unmanifested member.

  Option A: Lie.

  I’m so tired of this.

  Option B: Report, see what happened.

  Perhaps….

  “I know you don’t believe in the Element of Spirit,” he continued. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m Elemental, just like you.”

  “I never said I didn’t believe in the Element of Spirit. More like I don’t know anything about it.” I ran my hands over my face as I searched for an Option C.

  “What is a Spiritual Element?”

  “We talked a lot about gifts of the spirit in my village,” he said. “We never called it an Element. Sometimes a child was born with an exceptional gift of healing, or the rare ability to communicate with animals. My father said my mother—” His voice cut off, choked with pain. I realized that I’d never met Hanai’s mother, hadn’t even thought about her. “My mother had the ability to tell if someone was lying.” He looked away. “She died when I was only a year old. I don’t remember her.”

  I didn’t want to add to Hanai’s obvious pain by telling him that the Element of Spirit didn’t sound very useful—that was probably why it wasn’t recognized or included on a Council. I seized onto this idea.

  “Hania, this isn’t a problem. Davison won’t accept the Element of Spirit anyway. He’ll still say you’re Unmanifested.”

  “Just because he doesn’t recognize it as a viable Element, doesn’t mean it isn’t one.” Hanai’s gentle voice held great authority. He believed himself a Spiritual Elemental no matter what anyone said.

  Option D: Find a new Unmanifested for the Council. But this made my heart stall in a way I hadn’t thought possible. At least not with Hanai.

  “You can’t leave,” I said, my mind seizing with panic.

  “I have to.”

  “No, you don’t. This is an easy fix. No one has to know. We’ll keep this between—”

  “I already told Cat.”

  I paused, stung he’d told her before me. “Okay, so we’ll keep this between the three of us. We’ll charter our Council, and then we’ll replace Adam with an Unmanifested. We’ll still have four Elementals with an Unmanifested to represent all segments of society. It’s perfect.”

  “But other Councils—or the people—won’t accept the Element of Spirit. And the Airmasters won’t be represented on our Council.”

  Blazes, we’d be lucky to stay alive, let alone get an assignment—no matter what Davison promised. The possibility of using my chartered Council for safety faded into nothing. I felt the same way now as I had the night Jarvis told me to run. Hopeless and desperate. No options. Only the unknown on the horizon.

  Except for the certain death that awaited me in Tarpulin.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. “Please, please stay.”

  Hanai stood up. “Okay, I’ll stay, but I’m not lying.” He left, and I turned back to the window again, completely lost inside my own head.

  The next morning, I woke to the sound of bathwater running and Cat’s beautiful voice humming as she infused the liquid with one of her relaxation concoctions. I stayed in bed while she washed, and then asked her to prepare a bath for me too.

  We didn’t speak, but we didn’t need to. Our friendship now mirrored what we’d had in Crylon, and I clung to the normalcy of it. I pondered Adam’s condition and if Hanai had been able to heal him completely.

  “I’m going to find Isaiah,” Cat said. “Come join us for lunch.”

  “Okay.” I finished getting ready, layering my Council robe over my regular clothes, and went to inquire about Adam.

  It seemed that Davison had the entire city at his command, which I suppose he did. Sentries stood guard at every stairwell. The delicious smell of breakfast wafted down from the floor above. He must have cooks on staff. I spotted Elementals coming and going, and I knew they were making preparations for the attack as well as attending to the business of running their cities. In the infirmary, doctors and nurses cared for more people than just Adam.

  Everyone seemed calm and friendly. I was living on the nineteenth floor, and everything I needed was contained on this floor and the one above it. For now, it was enough. In fact, it provided me the protection and safety I needed.

  I didn’t know how long we could stay in Gregorio. Davison said he had legions of sentries already camped outside Tarpulin. I assumed that as soon as our chartering was complete, I’d be leaving to lure the Supremist out of Tarpulin.

  I found Adam in much the same condition as the afternoon before, except the tattoo had disappeared from his skin. Quilts covered him from neck to feet, and I stroked his hair off his forehead while I looked down at his sleeping face.

  “He should wake up soon,” a nurse said, checking Adam’s pulse on his wrist. “The worst of it has passed.”

  “What happened to him?” I murmured, not really expecting an answer.

  “I think he’s the only one who knows,” the nurse said. “But your friend did heal several injuries.” The nurse consulted a folder. “Four broken ribs, kidney bruising, and six fractured phalange bones.”

  “Phalange?”

  “His fingers.”

  I swallowed back the horrifying images of the force required to break a rib or a finger. “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure if I meant the nurse or Hanai.

  The nurse left, but I stayed beside Adam until my stomach cramped with hunger.

  I followed my nose to the dining hall on the twentieth floor. Right next to Davison’s conference room, it was packed with Elementals. Most of them sat in twos or threes, heads bent together in quiet conversation. The food steamed in pots along the wall to my left, and my mouth watered at the sight of dark breads and sugary pastries. I spied Hanai sitting alone at a table near the window, and after I loaded a bowl with stew and balanced several slices of rye bread on my plate, I joined him.

  “What’d you get?” he asked, eyeing a second plate I’d piled with fig tarts.

  “Soup,” I said. “I’m freezing.” A glance out the window confirmed that winter would be staying a while. Snow had started falling, and I thought it strange to have such weather this far south and so late in the spring.

  “How’s Adam?” Hanai asked.

  “The same,” I said. “The nurse said you healed his major problems and he should wake up soon.”

  Hanai nodded, and we made room for Cat and Isaiah as they joined us for lunch. As I talked with and listened to my friends, I couldn’t help but notice the hole that existed without Adam.

  “How long do you think we’ll stay here?” I asked Hanai as we I left the dining hall.

  “We can’t do much until Adam wakes up. So, I don’t know.” He slid his hand into mine and we headed toward the stairs to return to our rooms. I liked the warmth his skin gave to mine, and I squeezed his hand. He smiled without looking at me, almost like he didn’t want me to see it.

  Hanai suddenly stopped, shifting his feet backward. “He’s awake.”

  “Adam?”

  “He’s coming.” Hanai pulled his hand away, but I was too slow releasing it, and Adam came out of Councilman Davison’s conference room before our fingers untangled. His eyes flickered from my hand to my face. He wore his navy Council robes with a glint of silver on his chest.

  “Gabby,” he breathed, striding forward and draping me in a hug. With his mouth close to my ear, he whispered, “I just signed the charter documents.”

  “Great,” I said, my voice too high and my breath wisping too lightly.

  “Is Davison in the conference room?” Hanai asked, his eyes hard coals. “Is the charter ready?”

  “Yeah,” Adam said. I pinned Hanai with a look I was sure was filled with pure panic. Was he going to tell Davison about his Element?

  “See you guys later,” Hanai said, blinking to snap the connection between us. I lifted my hand in a half-hearted wave as Adam stepped back and claimed my hand in his.

  “Later,” Adam call
ed over his shoulder. “Much later,” he added just loud enough for me to hear.

  I reached for his pin—a silver funnel cloud. I fingered it before running my hands across his shoulders and around his neck. His tension drained away, but I collected it and held it in my heart.

  “Tornadoes, you’re more beautiful than I remember.” He hugged me again. His touch caused such new emotions. Strange, unfamiliar feelings. Not comfort like Hanai, but a weird zinging in my stomach. An insecurity of my next word, my next action. I couldn’t sort through my wild thoughts fast enough to keep up with the situation.

  I knew one thing: I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, be jealous when he found me in the hall holding hands with Hanai.

  “Something going on with you and Hanai I need to know about?” he asked.

  I shook my head, knowing that if I spoke, the lie would come alive. Because, see, there was something going on. Something I couldn’t name, hadn’t acknowledged before, but existed nonetheless. Something that needed time to grow and develop, but when it did, would be wonderful.

  I looked up into Adam’s tattoo-free face. His blond curls were damp. I inhaled, hoping to fill my whole soul with his ash-and-lemon scent.

  “I can touch you now,” he murmured, running his thumb across my cheekbone. He started unbuttoning his robe. “Look.” He turned, letting it fall to the floor.

  “It’s gone.” I traced his shoulder blade where the garish black lines had been etched into his skin. The orange center had been erased too, replaced with a small bandage. He turned around, and my fingers brushed his bare chest before I pulled them away.

  “I’m officially not a sentry. I won’t put you or anyone else in danger.”

  I looked into his glittering eyes. “That’s great,” I said, the words almost tripping over themselves.

  “You want to know the best part?” He ran his hands up the length of my arms to my shoulders. I winced as he touched my gunshot wound.

  “What? Are you hurt?”