Broken Embrace

  "Is it possible Julie stopped sleeping with you because I came back?"

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sure it didn't have anything to do with you. She was thrilled when you returned. She was really proud of you and excited to have you back in her life."

  "Then what happened? I don't understand."

  "I don't know. It's easier to believe she stopped because she was sleeping with someone else. Seventeen years together…We had our ups and downs. Going months without making love wasn't exactly unheard of for us."

  "Why did you stay then? It doesn't sound like you were happy."

  "I wasn't unhappy. Julie and I got along great. We didn't fight. We didn't go long periods without speaking. We were…comfortable."

  "I couldn't imagine going to bed with you every night and not being intimate."

  Brian didn't speak for a long time, then he finally said, "It wasn't like this, you know. We were partners. Like members of the same team. At work, Johnny and I are partners, and at home, Julie and I were partners. We didn't have this sweetness you and I always shared."

  "That makes me sad for her."

  "She never complained about being unhappy. I always thought we were pretty normal."

  "How can you say that after the way we were for all those years before you and Julie were married? You know what this feels like. Why wouldn't you want the same with her?"

  "Feeling like this isn't a choice. Believe me, if I could've turned these feelings off and on, my life would have been much easier. You and I are a matched set. It's not something I can clone into another relationship. Do you have this kind of intimacy with Collins?"

  "Chase and I are intimate…but no, it was never like this." She tilted her head slightly to see his face. "But I've had years to convince myself my feelings for you were those of an overdramatic teenager."

  "And that's exactly what I thought." He shook his head and frowned. "I thought Julie and I had a more mature love. Not the hot, passionate…fiery love I had for you." He closed his eyes and said, "Remember the fights we used to have. Screaming matches to wake the dead." His frown turned into a smile. "With Julie, I was always reminded of what my mom and dad used to say back when you and I fought. 'Oh sure you love her now, but when the fire burns out, you two will realize you hate each other.' But I never hated you."

  She smiled, too, and lay back on her side. "When Ali and Mark divorced, my mother reminded me that high school sweethearts never stay together forever."

  He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "What do you think now?"

  She held her breath for a moment, still reeling from it all, as if it were a dream.

  When she stiffened beside him, he rested a kiss on her bare shoulder and said, "I hope you realize they were wrong and we were right."

  "But we weren't. You married Julie, and I was alone."

  "I'm sorry you had to be the one to get hurt in this."

  She exhaled heavily. "That's not true. You hurt, too. I get that now."

  "You know, Lis, there are a lot of things that would surprise you."

  "Like what?"

  "Like the fact that I really do think about you every day. Even before you came back." He rubbed his nose against the back of her neck and exhaled a soft breath. "I stood at Julie's burial and couldn't stop thinking about you. It drove me crazy."

  "Now you're making stuff up."

  "Am not. I'm sure it had something to do with jerk-off's ring on your finger." He slid his hand down her arm to her hand and tugged the ring off. "Can we get rid of this now?"

  Melissa nodded, took it from him, and laid it on her nightstand.

  "I'm going to hurt him," she whispered.

  "I'm sorry…"

  "No, you're not."

  "I don't have anything against the guy, other than him wanting my girl."

  "I wasn't your girl. I was single, and I never told him about you. I should have been honest, but I didn't want to make him feel insecure over nothing."

  "This is not nothing."

  "This was nothing for a long time, Brian. Don't think because you're in my bed I've forgotten."

  "I have a lot to make up for; I own that, Melissa, but don't act like I did it on purpose. I never would have left you—never."

  "If I had known that before, it would've made it easier to live with."

  "We lost each other, and I'm sorry about everything, but I will make it right."

  "We lost each other, but I lost Julie, too. I lost both of my best friends at the same time. I felt twice betrayed for a long time."

  "I know, baby."

  Melissa pulled free of her robe and turned to put her arms around him. She snuggled closer.

  Brian moaned. "You're killing me right now."

  "I'm glad you're here," she whispered. His soft, warm skin against hers relaxed her. She let her hands explore his chest then his back, memorizing every curve and muscle.

  "Me, too. This place is creepy. How do you stand being here alone?"

  Melissa sighed. "I guess I'm just used to being alone."

  "Well, I hope you got that out of your system, 'cause I'm here to stay."

  "We'll see if you make the cut." She smiled. "Hey, what do you think the kids are going to think about this?"

  "Erin's going to be thrilled. Cody…he's not the same kid without his mom. I don't know what to do to help him."

  "You have to be there for him, and Erin does, too."

  "And you…you're always there for him. He really loves you."

  "Good. He is such a sweet little boy. I didn't think they made 'em like that anymore. I guess he takes after you. You were a sweet boy."

  "I was sweet to you because I loved you," he whispered with a soft kiss to her forehead.

  "You were sweet to Ali, too."

  "I had to make nice with one twin in order to get to the other."

  "You're full of it, Hammel. I know you're just a tenderhearted guy. You act all macho in front of your cop friends, but Ali and I know the truth about you."

  "Yeah…whatever," he said, deepening his voice. He brushed his fingertips along the top of her ear. "Melissa?"

  "Yes."

  "Will you go on a real date with me tomorrow?"

  "A real date—as opposed to a fake date?"

  "As in, something we haven't done since high school."

  "I guess we can go on a date, after I break up with my boyfriend."

  "Okay…then let's go to sleep so tomorrow will come faster."

  ~

  When she woke up, she glanced over at Brian's sleepy face and recalled the night. Him lying with her, cuddling, touching, talking…and loving, without the pressure of making love. She wanted to make love with him, too, but felt unsure of him still, even after everything he'd told her last night.

  She carefully got out of bed, slipped on her robe, and went to make coffee. While the coffee brewed, she walked over to her desk and looked at the fresh prints she'd been working on the day before Ali's wedding.

  Happy faces. She loved taking pictures of happy faces. That's why she took pictures of people instead of landscapes. Her specialty was twins, but any smiling face would do. She picked up the most recent photo she'd taken of her and Ali and felt a surge of love and contentment. Ali was happy. She would wake in the arms of her new husband, and Melissa felt her happiness across the miles. She hoped Ali felt hers, too. Melissa couldn't compare her morning to Ali's, but, as far as good ones went, this one certainly fit the bill.

  "Good morning."

  She jumped and looked up quickly, although the scene seemed to unfold in slow motion.

  "Chase?"

  He smiled and jingled the keys as he stuffed them back into his pocket. "Who else would it be?"

  "Me."

  Melissa and Chase both looked in the direction of her bedroom at the same time as Brian stepped out shirtless and still wearing her too small sweats.

  "Brian!" she said.

  The three of them stared at each other, Bria
n being the only one completely unconcerned with the other two, and Melissa certainly being the most uncomfortable.

  "I see," Chase said his expression drooping into a frown. "It's not like that…" he repeated Melissa's words from the night before and glanced from Brian back to her.

  "Since you get the picture, you can have this back." Brian tossed him the diamond ring Melissa had left on the nightstand. Chase made no attempt to catch the ring. He let it fall to the floor with an echoing bounce.

  Melissa gasped and she threw her hands over her mouth. "Brian!"

  "Wow," Chase said. "Pure class. That is pure class, Ms. Parker." He turned and walked out the door.

  "Chase, wait!" She ran after him, pounding down the stairs to the exit. "Please, wait. I'm sorry! Please, stop."

  "No," he called over his shoulder. "You don't need to explain. Everything's become perfectly clear."

  "Stop and talk to me. You have to know, I never meant for you to get hurt."

  He stopped on the bottom stair and glanced back at her. "Goodbye, Melissa."

  "Please, talk to me."

  "You're kidding me, right?" he shouted. His eyes dropped down to her breast. "You're not even dressed."

  She clutched the front of her robe. "Chase, I never wanted to hurt you. I was going to talk to you today…I'm sorry."

  "Not as sorry as I am," he said, turning away from her.

  Melissa climbed the stairs slowly, gripping the handrail for support. She went into the apartment and closed the door.

  "He took that well," Brian said as he poured a cup of coffee.

  Melissa approached him, her body vibrating with angry tremors. "How could you?"

  "You were going to break up with him anyway. Now it's over and you don't have to worry about it." He shrugged and said, "He saved you a trip."

  "Get out!" she screamed, pointing to the door.

  "Come on, Lis! Why are you angry at me?"

  "Oh my God! You are completely clueless! Do you have any idea how incredibly uncool that was of you to do that?"

  "Uncool? He's been sleeping with you. Was I supposed to be nice to him?"

  "Imagine for one minute what that was like for him? To find out this way?" She shook her head and turned away from him. "God, Brian, I don't even know who you are right now."

  "What the fuck do you want, Melissa? Because you can't have it both ways." He pointed to his chest. "Me or him?"

  She widened her eyes and stared at him. "Are you serious right now?"

  He took a step toward her. "Dead fucking serious."

  Melissa shook her head and tears burned her eyes. "I can't even look at you right now. Get out of my house." She turned away from him and walked into the bathroom before locking the door behind her.

  Within seconds, Brian approached the bathroom door. "Melissa…open up."

  Melissa dropped down on the closed toilet lid and laid her face in her hands. "No, not until you're gone."

  "I don't like him. You know that. Maybe he should have knocked instead of letting himself in like he owns the place."

  "I gave him a key, Brian. He was my fiancé."

  "That's right! Was! Was, Melissa!"

  "Get out!"

  "Melissa, come on, it's not that bad."

  She jumped back to her feet. "Yes, it is. It is that bad. Chase did not deserve for you to treat him like that and for you to act all smug as if you got laid last night by his fiancé!"

  "Melissa, don't do this." He tried the door, and when he couldn't open it, he said, "That guy is more than you think. He's not what he seems. You're too trusting."

  "Get out!" she screamed again as the anger vibrated through her.

  "Fine!" he shouted. "Fucking fine!" He pounded his fist on the door then stormed away.

  Melissa waited for what must have been five minutes before she heard the front door open and close. She hesitantly stepped out of the bathroom and looked around to see if he was still in the apartment. When she saw no sign of him, she locked the front door and grabbed her ringing phone to talk to Ali.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Erin snatched her towel off the bench and rushed out of the women's locker room. She didn't think it would take that long to get changed, but she also hadn't planned on running into Mrs. Neumark. As much as she appreciated people and their condolences, sometimes she wished they'd pretend nothing had happened to her mom. She never knew how to act or what to say when they approached her, and no matter what she said, it never seemed to be enough.

  Auntie Ali had suggested they swim at the Community Center. Too bad Erin hadn't thought about it before. She pushed open the door to the indoor Swim Center, expecting to see Cody waiting for her, sulking because she wouldn't let him get in the pool without her. All those months she'd went without swimming because of Coach Jeffries…God, she couldn't wait to get in the water, but Cody wasn't waiting for her. She peeked in when the men's door opened, but she couldn't see past the tiled wall.

  Come on, Cody. What the heck was he doing in there? She hung her towel on one of the provided hooks and started stretching. She didn't want her swim ruined by a stupid cramp, and it'd been so long since she'd been in the pool, a cramp was inevitable.

  As she stretched, she thought about the last time she'd swum here. Her mom had brought her and Cody during a heat wave. That was the day she'd learned how to do the butterfly stroke. At the time, Erin thought it was a little extreme, but the following year, when she joined the high school swim team, it had become an asset. Her mom had taught her everything she knew about swimming. Her mom was the best Erin had ever seen. She closed her eyes and remembered the first time she swam with her mom. Not playing in the pool, but actually racing. Her mom had kicked her butt, and that had driven Erin to the max. After losing the race to her mom, she'd put everything she had into the sport. She wanted to prove she could be as good, if not better.

  Halfway through her rotator stretch, the locker room door opened, and Cody stepped out…with an arm draped over his shoulder…Coach Jeffries' arm.

  Erin stopped, mid-stretch. Oh my God. What the hell was he doing with her little brother? She lurched forward and grabbed Cody by the arm, pulling him away and turning her back on Coach. "Are you okay?"

  Cody shrugged. "Yeah, fine. Why?"

  She looked back at Coach Jeffries. "What are you doing with my brother?"

  "Whoa there, Miss Hammel. Why are you so worked up?"

  Cody pointed to the pool. "Can I go swim now?"

  Erin glanced down at Cody and said, "Don't go beyond the three foot-mark."

  "I know how to—"

  "I said don't go beyond the three foot-mark!"

  Cody threw his towel on the floor under Erin's hook and said, "Fine."

  When Cody was out of ear shot, Erin whipped her head back around to glare at Coach. "Why are you talking to him?"

  Coach Jeffries stared at her with his arms crossed over his chest. "I got suspended from my job because of you and your hot-headed father."

  "That was your own fault. You need to leave us alone and stop texting me photos."

  He smirked at her. "You want me to leave the kid alone, Erin?" He nodded toward Cody. "You want me to leave your dad alone? How about his pretty, blonde friend?" He placed his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. "Then I need something from you."

  "Forget it! I'm telling my dad you're harassing Cody."

  "Do you really want to do that?" His lips turned into a grin. "Really?" He held up his phone, flashing a photo of her, a different photo than before.

  Erin wanted to look brave even when she felt utterly sick with fear. It took everything she had to look him in the eye when she muttered, "You won't share that."

  He snickered again. "I don't have to…all I need to do is print it and leave it somewhere for someone else to find. I have no doubt whoever finds it will have no trouble sharing it online." He stuffed the phone back into the belt clip and said, "That's the beauty of your generation, Erin. You all share everything online…an
d even more beautiful…the internet is forever."

  Erin's heart rate accelerated so fast, she could hardly take a breath, and now she really did want to throw up. She glanced around the pool area. The decks were crowded with women and their kids, some moms in the water, but a few just sitting on the side with dangling feet. There were small groups of kids racing from one side of the kid's pool to another. To these people, the Coach's grin looked charming. He had everyone fooled into believing he was a caring guy. He was a great member of the community and always helping out 'the kids'…that's what they believed. What a joke! These people had no idea what kind of man he really was. She looked over at Cody, who was now diving under the water with a group of other kids.

  No, Coach Jeffries was not who they thought he was. He was not who her mother had thought he was. Even Erin had been fooled into believing him a great teacher once. And yes, she'd learned some very important lessons from him. The most important was that he was dangerous, the second being that he didn't care about her or Cody, no matter what he pretended around other people.

  She met his eyes and stared at him for a full minute…but no matter how long she stared, he'd already won. She blinked.

  He pointed to a shaded window and a small door at the end of the enclosed pool area. "That's my office. Meet me there in ten minutes. We can talk while your brother swims."

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Melissa finished her last article and hit the send button to email it to her editor. When the message was sent, she leaned back in her desk chair and looked out the high window of her apartment. The street out front was quiet. It was quiet inside, as well—too freaking quiet. She thought of Chase and closed her eyes. Alone again. She'd had everything she wanted and she screwed it up. She opened her eyes and picked up a picture of Ali. At least she had Ali, and Ali's family. She had her mom…when she could stand her anyway. Why had she moved back here? Why did she want to go through this…be near him and torture herself?

  Melissa jumped when the phone rang, and she wanted to scream. "He never freakin' gives up! God, go away, Brian!" She grabbed her cell and looked at the caller ID. Her heart pounded as she slid the bar to answer it. "Chase, hello," she said, surprised. "Hi."