Broken Embrace

  ~

  Brian wrapped his arms around Melissa and held her, a lump forming in his throat. The intense sense of completeness stole the air from his chest. He held her close, and refused to let go of what was now one of the most precious moments in his life. She was the piece he'd been missing for all these years.

  When he pulled himself together, he met her eyes and smiled. He couldn't help it. He had everything he wanted. Melissa was everything in the world to him. She was his reason to get up in the morning and his reason for wanting to be a better man. She'd been right about his behavior with Collins. He had been a completely unforgivable ass to the guy. Melissa deserved better than that, and he wanted to be better for her.

  "Are you okay?" he finally asked.

  She nodded and gave him a radiant smile. Brian felt like sobbing. He never thought he'd see that smile, never thought he could have this again, have her again. As much as he loved Julie, they'd never had this connection. Melissa was his other half. How did he ever think he could survive without her? How could he believe his life full before? It had been an illusion. He'd spent years convincing himself he was happy with Julie, but never, in all those years, did he ever feel like this with her.

  The realization struck him hard. He'd let Julie down from day one when he couldn't give her everything. He couldn't have given her this, and now, he wondered why it had taken her so long to leave him.

  "Are you okay?" she asked in a quiet voice.

  He nodded and pushed Julie from his thoughts. "I'm perfect. I'm more than perfect." He leaned over, kissing the top of her head and brushing the hair off her sweaty skin. "I missed you so much."

  "Me, too," she muttered. "You didn't use a condom."

  He shook his head. "No, I didn't want anything between us."

  "But…I told you, I'm not on the pill."

  "I thought getting pregnant is what you wanted."

  "Yes, but you don't."

  He lifted his head to look at her. "Why would you think that?"

  Melissa's brow creased. "Julie always acted like you wouldn't let her get pregnant again."

  He bobbed his head. "It's true. I didn't want her to get pregnant. Did she tell you that?"

  "She never said it, but it was implied."

  "We tried for more kids. Julie had three miscarriages." Brian pursed his lips and shook his head. "Seeing her go through that…I couldn't take it again, so I told her I was done."

  "Oh…" Her eyes lifted to the ceiling, then back to his face. "Is that why you were so upset when you found out she was carrying his baby?"

  "Yes." He closed his eyes for a moment and said, "One of the reasons."

  "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

  "I would have loved to have another, but she'd always had trouble carrying. Pregnancy was too hard on her…I guess it wasn't meant to be." He frowned. "Lis, I don't want to talk about Julie anymore."

  "Okay, I'm sorry."

  "Don't be sorry. It's just…weird."

  "I wasn't trying to be disrespectful."

  "I wasn't either." He ran a hand up her bare stomach to between her breasts and said, "Maybe you're incubating a little Parker-Hammel infusion in there right now."

  She shook her head and lifted a finger to his lips. "We shouldn't be talking about having babies, either."

  Brian's heart dropped into his stomach. "You don't want to have a baby with me?"

  "We need to go slow."

  "We've known each other for twenty-six years. How much slower can we go?"

  Melissa pulled the sheet up to her chin with a sigh and turned into his chest.

  "Stop being so cynical. We're good now, sweetheart."

  She nodded and closed her eyes, but a frown formed on her lips.

  "You'll see. When you miss your period and start getting sick—when your sister comes to you with a pregnancy test and forces you to take it—then you'll see I'm right."

  Melissa chuckled. "I'll stop being cynical when things get easier."

  "Can I ask you something without you getting pissed at me?"

  She tilted her head to look at him. "What?"

  "Is it possible you're pregnant already? You said Collins used a condom, but if you come up pregnant, I don't want to have to worry about it."

  "I'm sure." She exhaled heavily. "The morning of Ali's wedding, I bought two pregnancy tests. I took one and I gave one to Ali. I'm absolutely sure I'm not pregnant."

  "Why does that make you sad?" Heat spread throughout his body. He tried not to show it, but he couldn't pretend not to be hurt. "You'd be willing to have his baby and not mine."

  "I don't want his baby. I want my baby," she said, rubbing his chest. "Don't be mad at me for wanting a family."

  "Well…I happened to have one of those—ready-made even. If you'll give me a chance, I'll share it with you."

  "I will give you a chance…but I don't want to mess things up either. We're talking too big for this right now. I don't want Erin and Cody to be victims of our relationship. They're still fragile from losing their mother."

  "Okay, fine. I'll slow down. How about that date, cupcake? I tried this before, but you locked yourself in the bathroom and threw me out."

  She chuckled, her head bobbing against his chest, and it felt so good. "A date sounds wonderful."

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Erin stared at Anna in disbelief. "I can't believe you're seeing him."

  "Why is that so hard to believe?" Anna said. "Jonah's been flirting with me for months. So he finally got the nerve to ask me out. If you hung out once in a while, this wouldn't be a surprise."

  "God, I know, but I have so much going on at home." Erin's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry I haven't been around for you. But I'm glad about you and Jonah. He's such a sweet guy. You two make a cute couple."

  "Thanks." Anna tossed her backpack over her shoulder. "What's up with Matt?"

  "What do you mean?" Erin looked over her shoulder. Before their fight at the wedding, he was always nearby, but since they'd returned to school after the Christmas break, she'd hardly seen him. "We're just friends."

  "Sure you are." Anna snorted. "And I'm Katy Perry."

  Erin frowned. What she'd give to be able to tell Anna she was seeing Matt, but she couldn't, not anymore. She knew that was for the best, but she missed him. "We started dating, but then…sort of stopped during break. Please don't tell anyone, Anna."

  "Everyone already knows. Coach made a comment about it at practice yesterday."

  "What?" She lowered her voice and said, "What comment? What would he have to say about me at practice?"

  Anna looked anxious when she said, "I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. It doesn't matter. He's just mad about getting suspended and…now he's on probation."

  Erin crossed her arms over her chest. "What did he say?"

  "Actually…I didn't hear him. Jonah told me about it." She bit her lower lip. "Coach said it during the boys' practice."

  "Anna, tell me what he said."

  Anna's eyes grew sympathetic and she glanced around the hall to make sure nobody heard. "He made a comment about 'easy girls' and used your name and Matt's." She used her fingers as quotation marks when she said the words 'easy girls'. Then her eyes grew wide. "I'm sorry, Erin! All the guys on the team were kind of pissed at him, too. They know you better than he does…and they know about him and your dad fighting."

  Erin couldn't speak. Her mouth was frozen open in shock.

  "It was obviously a revenge move on his part," Anna said, but that didn't make Erin feel any better about it.

  "I can't believe he would even say something like that…I can't…" her voice cracked and she stopped talking. "Please don't tell anyone else."

  "I wouldn't." Her eyes drifted down. "If I weren't trying to win a scholarship, I would quit the team, too. I'd report him, but I've invested so much already…and my mom will kill me if I don't get a scholarship. As it is, I have to meet with him here on Friday night."

  "Why would you have to meet
him on Friday? There's no practice."

  "We have an appointment." Anna grimaced. "I'm sorry. I know he's a jerk, but I'm trying to help the team get sponsorships."

  "What kind of an appointment?" Erin thought she already knew, but she hoped she was wrong. Anna was driven enough about her swimming that'd she'd do almost anything.

  "I can't say. He said if I tell anyone, he'd cancel."

  "Let me guess, he wants to do a photo session with you in your swimsuit alone this time. He said he can use pictures of you for the sponsorship applications because you're so pretty."

  Anna stared at her with her mouth open.

  "He told you if the team got a water polo sponsorship, it would make more college recruiters look at you."

  "How do you know? He made me swear not to tell—"

  "Don't go. You can't trust Coach Jeffries. Please don't go."

  "I have to go! I told you, my parents don't have money for college. I'm on my own. I need to excel or I'm stuck at Community College.

  "No." Erin grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "Please, don't trust him."

  "Chill. It's just a couple of pictures. It's not like he's sleeping with my mom."

  Erin released her as if the touch had burned. "Anna—"

  "I'm sorry about what's happened to your family, Erin, but I need to look out for myself." Anna gave her another sympathetic look. "I gotta go, or I'll miss my bus. Call me tonight if you want."

  Erin stared after her, that final warning still stuck in her throat. What was she going to do now? She couldn't let Anna meet with the coach.

  She turned, glancing at her watch before running toward the gym. She sprinted across the foyer and tugged the door open.

  Oh God, please don't let anyone see me in here.

  When the door closed behind her, she held her breath, feeling trapped in the shark's tank.

  "Well, what are you doing here?" His voice echoed around the empty gym.

  She whipped around to face him. "You need to stay away from Anna."

  He stepped closer. "Excuse me?"

  "If you hurt her, I'll tell my dad. I'll tell him everything you did."

  "What did I do, Erin?" He tapped his chin with his finger and said, "Right, I took pictures of you. Pictures you agreed to. Pictures of you without your swimsuit. Pictures," he lifted his eyebrows and pointed the finger from his chin at her, "you willingly participated in." He shrugged. "Exactly what do you think I'm guilty of?"

  She bit her lower lip and wished she could gouge out his eyes. What a jerk…and how stupid of her to fall for it. She closed her eyes and gave herself a moment to let the rush of embarrassment pass.

  He sighed and shook his head. "Erin, I think you should be more concerned with yourself and less concerned with me and Anna."

  "You cannot hurt Anna. I won't let you."

  He chuckled again. "You're so cute. Like a little, angry kitten. And how noble of you to want to protect your friends. Wow, who knew you could be so self-righteous? Hum, let's see," he tapped his chin again, "how about a deal? I'll cancel with Anna if you come in her place."

  Erin swallowed hard, not sure what else to do. "If I take her place and meet with you on Friday night, do you promise to leave my friends alone?"

  The coach's expression switched from amused to serious. He stared for a full minute then said, "If you show up here at six-thirty on Friday, alone, I'll stay away from Anna."

  "Fine. I'll be here." She turned without saying another word and left the gym. She jerked the door open and scanned the empty foyer as she rushed toward the glass entrance doors.

  "Hey," Matt called from behind her.

  Erin jumped, and squealed in surprise as she flipped around to face him. "Geez, Matt, you scared me to death.

  "Erin, what's wrong?" He leaned in closer to her. "You okay?"

  She nodded. "Fine." I just made a deal with the devil, but, yes, I'm fine.

  Matt stared at her for a moment as if he didn't know what to do, then he finally said, "Can I give you a ride home? I'd like to talk to you."

  "Um…my dad is picking me up." She chewed on her lower lip and her eyes drifted to the floor.

  He reached in and took her hand. "I miss you, babe?"

  She closed her eyes, comforted by his words. "I, um, actually wanted to apologize for…" She lifted her lids and met his sea-blue eyes and his concerned expression sent a flutter through her stomach. She thought about the kiss they shared on the dance floor, then she remembered the photo Coach had texted her…and how it had ruined everything. Erin had the sudden urge to cry because she should push Matt away, but she wanted him…needed him. He was one of the few really good things she had left in her life, and she didn't want to give that up. "I'm really sorry, Matty. I know you were just trying to help and I'm sorry for being so rude, but you were freaking out over nothing."

  "Well then…I owe you an apology because I still don't believe you."

  Erin dropped her gaze again. Don't cry. Don't cry, Erin. Maybe if she kept chanting the words, then her tears wouldn't fall.

  Matt squeezed the hand he held and said, "It's okay, Erin. I'm just worried about you."

  She nodded, but didn't say anything.

  "Can I walk you out?"

  Erin nodded again and let him lead her out of the school. Once she was outside, she took a deep breath, thankful for the moment to get her thoughts together.

  When they turned toward the parking lot, they came face to face with her dad. He lifted his hands in the air. "Erin? You lost?" He shouted. "You're making me late. What's up?"

  Matt waved a hand at her dad in apology. "Sorry, sir, she came with me to talk to Mr. Brandt."

  "I got things to do," Brian said. "Let's go."

  "Hey…um, Mr. Hammel, you mind if I hang out with Erin and Cody on Friday night?"

  Erin widened her eyes. Friday night? Crap.

  Her dad stared at Matt for a long moment. "She'll be at her grandparents. It's fine if they don't mind you being there."

  How was she going to get out of this one? "Are you sure, Matt? I mean…w…we could hang out on Saturday. It's pretty boring at my gran's house."

  Her dad turned and looked at her like she was high or something.

  "Well…it might be pretty boring for him over there," she said in defense.

  "That's okay," Matt shrugged. "I don't mind. Maybe I can bring over a movie to watch or something."

  "Ah…okay," she agreed.

  "We should be finished with dinner around seven-thirty. I can be there around eight."

  Erin nodded, trying to calculate in her head whether or not she could get back that fast. She would, she just had to.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Melissa knocked on Brian's door, self-conscious and fidgety. When he opened it up, he smiled so wide, his entire face lit up. She smiled back with a little heat in her cheeks. He stepped out and gave her a deeply seductive kiss. Melissa's pulse kicked up a notch as he leaned into her and pulled her closer.

  "You look beautiful."

  "I guess we're not trying to hide this from the kids."

  "They're busy in their rooms. I told them we were going out tonight, and Erin actually smiled for the first time in days."

  "What about Cody?"

  "He shrugged and asked what was for dinner."

  Melissa laughed. "What is for dinner?"

  "For them, pizza. For us…I'm not sure yet. I thought we'd decide when you got here."

  He pulled her inside and closed the door as he yelled for Erin.

  When she came into the room, she hugged Melissa tightly, lingering for a long time. "Hi."

  "Hey, Erin."

  "So, where are you guys going?"

  "We're not sure yet. Any suggestions?" Brian asked.

  Erin looked toward the ceiling, bobbing her head back and forth slightly. "What about Carmine's."

  "Italian, huh?"

  "That sounds good to me," Melissa said.

  "I wish we were going." Erin sighed and drop
ped down on the couch.

  "You're having Italian. It's called pizza. Here," he said, handing her cash.

  "I don't mind if they want to go," Melissa said.

  Brian shook his head as his mouth formed into a big, silent no.

  Erin sighed out a no, too. "Thank you though," she said with a dim smile.

  "Are you okay, Erin?" Melissa sat down next to her. "You seem down."

  Erin nodded with a faint smile. "No, I'm perfect…very happy to see you and Daddy going out."

  "You seriously want to go?" Brian said, staring down at them.

  "It's okay, Dad."

  Melissa looked up at him. "It would be nice if the four of us had dinner together."

  "Yeah, except it's called a date for a reason."

  Melissa grinned up at him, trying for the same innocent expression Erin wore. He dropped his head back on his shoulders. "Fine. Get your brother."

  Brian gave Melissa an exasperated look as Erin ran out of the room calling for Cody. "What are you doing?" He pulled her up into his arms. "I thought we'd be alone."

  "It's okay. We have all the time in the world. This will help them get used to the idea. And you need to spend more time with them."

  "You're right. Speaking of time, I have a hearing on Monday. I'm hoping to be reinstated."

  "What are your chances?"

  "Good, I think. Jeffries had it coming. They only suspended me to pacify his attorney."

  "Just be good and humble. Don't go half-cocked acting like you know he had it coming."

  "I'll be good."

  "How is Erin handling school with Jeffries back?"

  He snickered. "She's fine. Matty has become quite the shadow."

  Melissa lifted her eyebrows. "Seriously? Well…I guess that's a good thing…as long as it's okay with her."

  "She hasn't complained, not one word."

  "Does this mean we don't have to worry about her not telling us if something else happens?" Melissa asked.

  "She promised me she would tell me. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt."

  The kids stormed back into the room, and Cody said, "I thought we were having pizza."

  "We are," Melissa said cheerfully at Cody's downcast face, then winked at Brian.