Midnight Flight

  "Dr. Foreman is a behavioral modification

  scientist. They believe they can change the way

  people act and think by using certain techniques like

  carrot and stick, positive and negative reinforcers. Do

  this and there's a reward, do that and there's a

  punishment. If it's repeated and repeated, it gets so

  carved into you, you behave accordingly."

  "But why did you call us all Skinner pigeons?"

  I asked.

  "This scientist. Skinner, is famous for getting

  people to believe in these things. He did it with

  pigeons in a box. If they pressed a lever, they got fed.

  They soon understood that if they did this, they were

  rewarded. If they didn't, they weren't. That's what Dr. Foreman means by her stupid reality

  checks. We get rewarded for doing what she wants us

  to do, and when we do something she doesn't... we

  suffer. That's reality. That's the way it is out there,"

  Gia said, waving toward the door.

  "Dr. Foreman," she concluded, "believes those

  theories apply to everything. She can change anyone.

  We're not here just to be goad little girls. Just like she

  said the first day, we're here to be changed,

  completely and utterly remade."

  "Posy had to be very frustrating for her." Robin

  said. 'Here she was a so-called expert on all this and

  her own daughter was a problem,-

  "Exactly." Gia said. "She has success with

  strangers, like our buddies and like us. Her methods

  do work most of the time.

  You're not going to get into any fights so

  quickly now, are you. Robin? You don't want to go

  back to the Ice Room."

  Robin looked at me and then looked down. "And you, Teal. You going to run away again?"

  Gia taunted.

  "Maybe."

  "You won't. Anyway, the difference with Posy

  was no matter what they did to her, what negative

  reinforcement they applied, she smiled at them. And

  then she would oo and make up a story about it like

  she had to clean the pigpen all by herself because we

  were too busy or she was good at it. They would just

  act angrier and angrier at her. She never let them

  make her face reality. You know she never had a

  mattress, pillow, and blanket the whole time she was

  here."

  "How could she stand that so long?" Teal

  asked.

  Gia shrugged. I began to wonder if she didn't

  admire Posy as much as she pitied her.

  "She told me she was used to sleeping on hard

  surfaces. She liked to go camping, and mattresses and

  sheets and pillows made her itch and sneeze. I

  actually believed her for a while. She was really good

  at it, at telling tales. I can just imagine the stories she

  had people believing. It must have driven our Dr.

  Foreman bonkers.

  "But... Natani liked her," Gia said wistfully. He

  favored her, talked to her all the time, taught her stuff,

  like how to meditate and step out of pain. That's the

  way she put it. I know the good doctor wasn't happy

  about that and eventually told him to stay away from

  her."

  "Why does he obey her, work for her?" Teal

  asked.

  "His granddaughter was a drug addict. She

  managed to get her on the straight and narrow. At

  least, that's what I think," Gia said.

  "It's true. He told me something similar." I said.

  "just not in as much detail."

  "Whatever. He must owe her big time to put up

  with all this," Robin said.

  "He doesn't see it that way," I told her. "Then he really is a crazy Indian." Teal

  quipped.

  "Well, how did Posy end up? I mean, why don't

  you know what happened to her?" I asked Gia, "No one would talk about her I quickly saw it

  was forbidden to mention her name. One morning she

  was just gone, and when she didn't return for days. I

  knew she was gone for good. At first I assumed she

  was sent home or somewhere else."

  "So, then that's what happened." I said.

  shrugging. "What's the big mystery?" From the way

  Mindy and Gia glanced at each other. I saw they had

  other ideas. "What?"'

  "I'm sure I saw her from time to time, but only

  at night," Gia said.

  "And then you stopped seeing her altogether.

  right. Gia?" Mindy said.

  "You never saw her at night or otherwise?"

  Robin asked Mindy.

  "Never."

  "So, then she is gone," I concluded. They didn't

  look convinced. "Is there something else?"

  "The one thing I think Posy needed more than

  anything was company, friends. She tried so hard to

  get us to be her friends. I could tell she was making up

  story after story about all the best friends she had. She

  often contradicted herself or forgot a name or a story."

  Gia explained.

  "So?"

  "So Gia thinks Dr. Foreman decided her best

  way to change her was to isolate her from people. She

  hated being alone most of all," Mindy said.

  "So much so that she invented people to talk to,

  just like a little girl or little boy might."

  "I often heard her talking to someone, and then

  if I asked her who she was talking to, she would say

  no one, but she would smile at the air as if someone

  invisible to me was standing there. It was weird, eerie.

  Sometimes, I got so I thought I saw someone standing

  there myself," Gia explained.

  "Maybe you're just as crazy as she is." Robin

  told her. Gia shrugged. "Maybe I am.'

  "So if Dr. Foreman wanted to keep her away

  from people, what did she do?" I asked.

  "It's just a guess. We have no real proof of

  anything and we would never say it loud enough for

  anyone to hear it," Gia offered.

  No one spoke for fear she would stop. "That door I told you about? The one going

  down to the basement?"

  "Yes?" I said.

  "It has a lock on it now."

  "Maybe she just didn't want you sneaking down

  there anymore," I said quickly.

  1 thought that was it. too." Gia eyed Mindy.

  "Especially after she seemed to know I had been

  there."

  "I never said anything!" Mindy. exclaimed, Gia

  shot her a skeptical look. "I didn't. I swear!" "Well, what changed your mind?" Teal asked

  her. ignoring Mindy.

  "Occasionally, I've heard crying, coming from

  the basement." Gia said. "Mindy thinks she has as

  well. right. Mindy?"

  "Well, I wasn't exactly sure about that." Mindy

  said cautiously.

  "What are you saying?" Robin asked, looking

  like her heart had stopped. "Dr. Foreman is keeping

  her daughter in the basement, like a prisoner in

  solitary confinement?"

  "Maybe," Gia said.

  "To this day?" I asked.

  "What are we if not prisoners? But don't ever

  say it or suggest it in front of one of the buddies.

  Actually, never mention this again ever."

  "How long has it been since you stopped seeing

  her, even at night?" I q
uestioned.

  "About a week or so before Mindy arrived,"

  Gia said. "That's about four months. right?" Mindy nodded.

  I turned to Robin. "Locked in a basement to be

  kept away from people for more than four months?

  That would be worse than the Ice Room, wouldn't it?" "No." Robin said.

  "Why not?"

  She stared at me.

  "Because you're not put into the Ice Room,"

  Gia answered for her, "The Ice Room is put into you." "Put into you?" I looked at Robin. She was

  nodding. "I don't understand."

  "Leave it that way. Phoebe. Sometimes, it's

  good here to not understand. You're better off." Robin

  said.

  But I was a moth drawn to fire. I couldn't stop

  thinking about it.

  Like same fatalist who knew she was headed

  for disaster no matter what road she took. I had no

  doubt in my mind that I would understand what they

  meant someday.

  "Since Natani favored her, maybe he knows

  something. Have you ever asked him?" I inquired. Gia raised her eyebrows, "Have you ever asked

  Natani a question about anything yet?"

  "Yes."

  "So you know how he answers. He doesn't give

  straight answers. Instead, he tells you some Indian

  folk tale about animals and you're supposed to get the

  point,"

  "Maybe that's his way to avoid reality," Mindy

  suggested.

  "Or maybe it's his way not to," I said. No one spoke again for a long moment. "Let's do our homework. At least it's something

  to do and it keeps her from blaming us for something

  else." Gia said in a tired voice.

  Everyone returned to the books and we were

  soon working together, each of us every once in a

  while pausing to think about that locked basement

  door. I know that's what was on their minds. It was on

  mine and I could see the fear, like some sheet of thin

  ice sliding over their eyes.

  Of all the things they told us about Posy, the

  story about her inventing friends and speaking to

  invisible people lingered in my mind more than

  anything else for some reason. In the working silence,

  our subdued voices, the turning of pages. I could

  imagine a sweet, petite girl like Posy sitting beside us,

  cheering us up with her unyielding smile, her vision

  of everything through rose-colored glasses, and her

  stories, her fantasies. Who cared if they were true or

  not? They gave us all hope and made us feel better

  about ourselves.

  Then she was plucked from our midst, stolen

  away because she helped us resist. Even though we had never met her, hearing about her like this put her into all our minds. I could sense it, and despite Gia's and Mindy's attempts to forget her, she was still here with them as well. In the end, healing about her, listening to Gia's obvious affection for her and fear about what might have happened or be happening to her, appeared to mend the rift among us. Just a little while ago, we were at each other's throat in that room with Dr. Foreman, Now we sensed that we really didn't have anyone else but each other. Posy, even without Robin. Teal, and me ever having met her, gave us that. I thought. It was truly as if an invisible

  person stood with us, comforted us.

  After we completed our work, we were

  permitted some free time before dinner. M'Lady Two

  took our homework and test papers and in a

  threatening tone told us she was taking it all to Dr.

  Foreman, who would grade everything herself.

  Failure, we were to remember, meant demerits. No

  one said anything, but I could hear the same thoughts

  in a chorus. Piling threat after threat on us, waving

  fingers and sentencing us repeatedly to hard labor, lost

  its impact when it was done so often and so much.

  What's new? I thought, and so did the others. M'Lady

  Two must have remembered herself at our stage. I could see it in the disappointment she expressed in her smirk when we didn't look like we were shaking in

  our shoes.

  "Don't go anywhere you're not supposed to go,"

  she warned, and left.

  Where could we go? I thought. There were

  some shady places, and the breeze this late afternoon

  didn't feel as if it had been born in a furnace. Mindy,

  Gia, and Teal sat on what little grass there was under

  a tree. Robin and I went to look at the horses. We

  were told that it wouldn't be long before we would be

  brushing them down, cleaning their stalls, and feeding

  them. too. One of them. which Rabin identified as a

  dark brown stallion, looked like he was dreaming of

  jumping the corral and galloping off toward those

  mountains in the distance.

  "We had two horses on my grandfather's farm,"

  Robin said. "He called them Buck and Babe. They

  weren't really riding horses, but when I was little, he

  would put me on either one and, holding the reins,

  lead me about. It was practically the only fun I had on

  that farm and one of the few times he acted like a real

  grandfather instead of a soldier in the army of God or

  something. I remember that sometimes I would catch

  him looking at me as if he expected to see Satan's face emerging out of mine. He expected me to do bad things. After all. I was mother darling's daughter. I guess he's happy now that he was right. It probably has made him even more of a fanatic. I pity my

  grandmother."

  "What would happen if we got on the backs of

  some horses and rode out of here? You think we could

  ride to somewhere

  "Horses aren't camels." Robin said. "They need

  water, too, and we wouldn't know which way to go." "We're so damn trapped." I muttered. "Maybe

  no better off than Posy if she is in that basement." I

  glanced at the hacienda. The very thought of being a

  prisoner in the darkness below for so long put a chill

  through me, even in this heat.

  Natani emerged from the barn, saw us, but kept

  walking toward a water trough. Using a hose, he filled

  it. I glanced at Robin and then approached him. "Hello, Natani," I said, He nodded. "I bet you

  have seen many girls like us come and go."

  He nodded again, turned off the water, and

  began to wrap the hose neatly around its holder. "Are there any other girls here now?" I asked.

  eyeing Robin, "Besides the five of us, I mean?" He didn't answer. He tightened the faucet, then stood and looked out at the horses, who had lifted

  their heads and started toward the water trough. "I see only what I see. You must see only what

  you see, too," he finally replied, and went back into

  the barn.

  "What's that mean? I see only what I see?"

  Robin asked.

  "I think he's afraid to say anything," I said.

  nodding. I looked back at the house. "I don't know

  about you, but I'd like to find out if she's locked up

  down there."

  "What for?" Rabin folded her arms under her

  breasts. "What could we do about it anyway? We can't

  do anything for ourselves, much less for someone

  else. Forget about it. That's what he meant when he

  said see only what you see. Don't go looking for

  things you can't see. He didn't live as long as he's

  lived poking his nose into someon
e else's business."

  She started away to join the other girls.

  I watched the horses drinking a moment, then

  followed Robin. Gia looked up when I sat. I could see

  Robin had told her I had spoken to Natani.

  "You're not playing with fire," Gia said.

  "You're playing with TNT and I'm telling you now,

  we're not going to get blown up with you."

  "Oh, let's stop talking about her. Let's just

  relax," Teal said.

  It was difficult to let ourselves relax. I could see

  everyone had nerves as taut as tight guitar strings. The

  breeze, playing through us, sounded the same highpitched note. Gia lay with her eyes closed. Teal stared

  at the horizon, dreaming of floating out there, I'm

  sure. Robin had her head down, and Mindy played

  with blades of grass like a little girl, forming shapes.

  No one spoke. A door slammed and we all looked

  toward the house. The three buddies laughed at

  something, then got into the van and started away. "Where are they going?" I asked.

  "Wherever it is." Teal said with some

  excitement seeping into her voice. "it's close enough

  for them to get there and back quickly enough. I knew

  there was someplace. I knew I wasn't imagining those

  lights."

  "Forget it." Gia said.

  "Why?" Teal asked.

  "It's nothing. It's an Indian trading post off the

  reservation. They can get magazines, candy,

  cigarettes, but not much else. There's nothing to do

  there and it's miles and miles this side of nowhere.

  This is the Mojave Desert,"

  "They have more than cigarettes," Mindy said,

  her lips misting.

  "How do you know?" I asked.

  She didn't reply.

  "Gia?"

  "We know. We heard them talking about it." I stared at her and she looked away, "How did

  you hear them talking about it. Gia? Was that

  something you heard when you were in the

  basement?"

  "No."

  "Then how?"

  "We just heard."

  Mindy laughed and Gia threw her an angry

  look. She smiled and shook her head.

  "What else haven't you told us?" Robin asked. "Nothing."

  "Oh, tell them," Mindy said.

  "So now you want me to talk, is that it, Mindy?

  You're no longer worried about being betrayed?" "It doesn't matter anymore. Gia. What else can

  they do to us that they haven't already done?" "They'll think of something." After a moment

  Gia turned back to me. "One night, we went spying on

  them. We went around the rear of the hacienda and climbed up on the lower roof. We could look into their windows. We just wanted to see how well they lived, how nice their bedrooms were compared to our