Every Which Way (Sloan Brothers)

  “Like my mom,” Severine declared. “I don’t want to hand over my heart so willingly.”

  “Then you can never love. Once you do, you’re gone. If you’ve given yourself to someone else then you’ve already taken that risk of being crushed.”

  Severine stared at Rachel sharply. She thought about Macsen and what he made her feel. She didn’t know what she felt some moments. But the thought of giving him her heart...it didn’t seem so terrifying. “So you think she’s brave?”

  “Isn’t anyone who has ever been in love?” Rachel asked back.

  “So why aren’t you with someone?”

  Rachel gave her a sad smile. “Because I’m not as strong as your mom. My thoughts were like yours...it scared the shit out of me. And look at me, I’m alone and travel everywhere. Livin’ the dream...” She shifted her body toward Severine and added, “Which one would you rather be? Your mom who’s experienced love or your stubborn aunt who can’t tell you what the word love truly means?”

  * * * * *

  Severine watched her mom run around the house, wiping down already clean counters and re-folding the blanket spread out behind the couch. She was putting more effort into this one afternoon than any past holiday.

  The doorbell rang, and Clacy stared at both Rachel and Severine.

  “Do you want me to yell ‘come in?’” Severine asked cheekily.

  “No, it’s your father,” Clacy hissed out. On her way to the door, she whacked Severine’s thigh. “Get up, you’re gonna at least say hi to him.”

  Her time spent at home wasn’t supposed to involve seeing her dad. When he came around, she just felt awkward. Those seconds when the door would open and neither one knew if they should hug or shake hands was just unnecessary discomfort. Most times, they both just mumbled out hello. If Severine was lucky enough, he’d ask her about school or her hobbies. When he left to go his own way, she honestly doubted he’d remember.

  “Just go,” Rachel admonished on the recliner.

  Severine rolled off the couch and walked through the dining room and into the open kitchen. Her steps were cautious as she leaned her body against the fridge. She was acting like a Jehovah’s Witness was at the front door.

  And that’s all it came down to—she knew nothing about her dad. You could lock an unwanted visitor or solicitor out of your house. But in this case, it wasn’t an option.

  Voices drifted from the front room towards Severine. By the time she stood in the front entryway, she realized her dad wasn’t alone.

  He brought her stepbrother, Rennick, along with him.

  “Severine,” her dad called out. Her attention immediately went to him. “It’s good to see you.”

  For a moment, all Severine did was stare at him. His smile was wide, but at the corner of his lips, she could see the strain. She looked his features over, trying to note if anything had changed in the past two years. His coal black hair was still cut short, his face was clean and shaven. When she looked him directly in the eye, he flinched. She couldn’t read anything in his dark brown irises because she wasn’t around him enough to know his reactions...to anything.

  A hand reached out and nudged her in the side. Her mom pointedly looked at her. Everyone was waiting for her to say something back. “Good to see you, too,” Severine said cordially.

  Feet shifted awkwardly, and Severine looked away from him and to the one person that was semi-fun to be around.

  “What are you doing here?” Severine asked Rennick with a friendly smile.

  He returned the smile. It looked mischievous. “I talked to Christian.” He paused to look over at their dad and smirked darkly at the obvious tension. His dig was on purpose. “He said he was driving here to see you and Clacy...I figured I might as well bother you.”

  “Are you coming in?” Rennick hesitated and Severine quickly spoke, “Or, we can freeze our asses off outside.”

  “Severine,” Clacy warned. She said nothing else, but the message was loud and clear. She wanted Severine to stay and talk to her dad.

  For her mom, she’d suffer through it and for that sole reason alone. She looked over at her dad, and he moved away from the door. “If you wanna see your brother, it’s fine.”

  It took her two seconds to nod her head and grab a pair of shoes and her coat hanging on the coat rack.

  Rennick waited on the porch with his hands in his front pockets. He looked too much like their dad—all dark hair and dark eyes. Only his hair was wild; the strands reached ear level. With Rennick everything was half-paced or nothing at all. His life had been filled with more disappointments than Severine’s, so she didn’t blame him for being cautious.

  “I had no idea you were gonna be here.”

  He shrugged a shoulder and looked at the houses around them. “I’m back in the states and I wanted to visit my mom’s grave...and I figured I might as well visit Christian.”

  “Ah...” Severine drew out, “gotcha.” She nodded her head and looked down at the chipped paint on the railing.

  When she was young, she never understood where Rennick came from. He’d show up with their dad and leave with their dad. When Severine was nine, her mom finally told her that Rennick’s mom, Tara, died when he was only a month old. She didn’t know how until she was old enough to Google the term ‘brain aneurysm.’

  He was only five years older than her, but there might as well be ten years of life separating them. While she had her mom, he had the friends he made in boarding school in Switzerland.

  He got into so much trouble that Severine started to lose count. Those mistakes made him the black sheep of the Blake family. But the two of them understood each other in a way that no one else would; neither one knew what it was like to receive any love from their dad.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your grandma,” Rennick finally blurted out. His voice was deep and stilted, like he wasn’t used to speaking that much. Usually, when he did talk, only sarcasm came out.

  She warmed her hands up and rubbed them together before she nodded. “Thanks.”

  He sighed and his breath came out into the cold air. “She was nice,” he admitted, “although I’m pretty sure she hated me.”

  “No, she didn’t,” Severine protested.

  “Yeah, she did.” His dark eyes sparkled and he gave a small smile. “To quote her: He’s a complete heathen.”

  “It’s only ‘cause you didn’t go to church with her. I’m sure there were times she called me a heathen too.”

  Even though it was freezing out, Severine didn’t want to go back inside. When they did, she’d have to keep up a conversation with her dad, when neither of them wanted to be there.

  “You wanna take a walk?” she offered.

  Maybe his thoughts were going down the same path because he nodded his head in agreement. “Sure.”

  The two of them started down the sidewalk. Severine looked up at the tall trees around them. In the summer, the leaves shaded the sun, feeling like a warm blanket. But in the winter, they offered nothing but an idle prop—they gave nothing.

  “Have you seen Christian lately?” Rennick asked.

  “This will be the first time in two years.”

  “He must love you, I’m on three.”

  Severine stepped over a gap of concrete and turned her attention to Rennick. “Why is he really here? Why did he bring you with him?”

  “Well, I only came along because I hadn’t seen you in a long time. He came because he’s...” He struggled for the right word and pushed his black hair from his face before he stared solemnly at Severine. “Because he’s Christian, and I think he wants to try and be there for us.”

  “You’re twenty-five, and I’ll be twenty next August. I find it hard to believe that he’d magically wake up and decide, ‘Oh shit. I have those two kids...you know, I think I want to get to know them.’”

  “So you don’t buy his bullshit?”

  “I’m not saying I believe it, or expect him to fall back on his word. I’m neutra
l on the whole thing. It wasn’t like I had him for a few years. He’s been in and out of our lives since day one.”

  “I guess we’ll see what happens.”

  Maybe Rennick wanted to have some form of a relationship with their dad, but she didn’t. The whole conversation about Christian made Severine’s hands sweat. Partially, because if she did think about it, she’d start to think how it’d be to have a dad and know what it actually meant. “Can we talk about something else now?”

  “Sure.” He gave her a brief look and zipped up his brown leather jacket. “Where’s that friend of yours?”

  He had only met one ‘friend’ of hers. He knew exactly what her name was. Severine turned around to go back to the house. They were only a block away, but the cold air made it feel like a mile.

  “Who, Lily?”

  For a quick second he bent down to grab at a warped tree branch. He banged it repeatedly against his leg. “Yeah.”

  “She’s back at campus.”

  Rennick tossed the warped stick in the air. It landed near the side of the road. “She still scared shitless of me?”

  “The first time she met you, you threw up in her mom’s rose bush...you weren’t exactly charming,” Severine pointed out.

  “But I’m a changed man. When I’m drunk, I aim toward the toilet now.”

  “Other than aiming at a white bowl...what else are you doing with your life?”

  He stared up at the sky, and Severine admired the sharp profile of his face. She didn’t know what his mom looked like, but he must have gotten his sharp cheekbones and exotic features from her. “I’m getting my Masters in literature. When I get bored of school, I think I’ll teach.”

  “You make it seem like I just asked you if you wanted McDonald’s. You’re way too relaxed about your future.”

  “Think about it...who do I have to worry about other than myself?”

  “What am I, chopped liver?”

  Rennick gave her a funny expression. “Should I be worrying about you?”

  “No, I’m good. I have a boyfriend, and he’s super dreamy,” Severine said dramatically. “I rely on him for everything.”

  “Yeah...I don’t know how to respond to that.”

  The large white house came into sight. Severine knew that once they went inside, Rennick would become ruthless and cold to everyone, her mom would be half the person she was before her dad arrived, and Severine would be counting down the minutes until her dad left. Just an average Blake family reunion. “Thanks for coming to visit. This trip was depressing enough for me, but you made it...less depressing.”

  “Anytime...actually, not really. This place is a fucking shit hole.”

  “I’ll give you that, but there’s a bar west of here...about fifteen minutes away.”

  “And that’s where I’ll be.”

  They walked up the pathway just as her dad and mom were walking out onto the porch. A flush was on her mom’s cheeks that hadn’t been there before. The closer Severine came closer, she saw the brilliant smile on her mom’s face. “Severine!” She called out cheerfully. “Your dad and I were thinking of taking the family out...the four of us. What do you think?”

  “Where’s Aunt Rachel?”

  “She had to go do a few errands in town.”

  Lucky bitch.

  “Come on! It’ll be great for us to all catch up.”

  Severine turned to Rennick and he shrugged. “As long as there’s alcohol.”

  “This is great!”

  Rennick followed her mom, and Severine was left with her dad. He stepped forward uncomfortably and gave her a small smile. “How are you, Severine?”

  When he said her name, it came out formally and with a slight accent. She could only imagine that’s how it’d be pronounced in France. A part of her wanted to shake him back and forth and yell into his ear that he was from Kentucky, therefore, he had no foreign accent.

  “I’m okay. School is going great, and it’s almost Christmas break, so after finals I’ll be even better.”

  His expression was anxious as he nodded his head and listened. “Your mom told me you’re with someone?”

  Severine nodded her head and looked away. “Mmhmm...he’s a really nice guy.”

  “Well...it’s good to hear that you’re happy.” He shifted on his feet. The two of them were pulling away from Awkward Street and were now veering right into Painfully Quiet Boulevard.

  Time tended to do that. Severine had no idea where to begin with her dad. There were no right words for her to say.

  “I’m glad you’re doing well.” He opened his mouth to say more and slammed it shut. When he finally talked, his voice was gruff. “You’ve turned into a beautiful girl, Severine.”

  He turned toward his black SUV before she could respond. It was the closest to a compliment from him that she had ever been given.

  Rennick looked over at her and gave her a smile that was grim. He pretended to hold a grenade in his hands and pulled the safety pin out. He threw it and made the sound of an explosion.

  Once their dad left again, everything would be in ruins.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Severine was only gone for five days. It felt like five weeks.

  The hurt was still raw, but what made her mad more than anything was the fact that her dad’s visit overshadowed the true reason for her visit.

  She tried to focus on homework. The open laptop beckoned her to finish her report. She couldn’t focus on anything because she kept replaying the dinner spent with her mom and dad. They talked like everything was okay—like they were the closest of friends. When he left that night, true to form, her mom was more of a basket case than before he arrived. The silence inside her dorm room was killing her. Severine grabbed her phone and quickly texted Lily.

  Meet me at the coffee shop. Overwhelmed.

  Lily’s reply was instant. K chica. See you soon.

  Severine could call Macsen and meet him. There was a chance that he wouldn’t answer. There was an even higher percentage that he would be distant if he did meet up with her. He was treading lightly around her, acting afraid to say anything wrong.

  Severine just wanted things to be normal between them. Everything else in her life was already turned upside down. She didn’t need for him to change. Right now, she needed him the most. She needed his shoulder to lean on and for someone to open up to.

  In a rush, Severine grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair and hurriedly put it over her tan sweater. She didn’t give her car time to warm up, rather, she pulled out the minute it started and sped to the coffee shop.

  There was so much on her mind. Lily was the only one she could trust with her feelings. She wasn’t a journal type of girl. Most times, she harbored everything. Right now, she had to have her friend.

  She saw Lily already sitting at a couch facing the windows. Her coffee sat on the coffee table and next to it stood a frappe. Severine hurried inside and sat down next to her. This was the exact same spot she had discovered the Sloan brothers; the same spot Thayer had challenged her with one glare, and Macsen had snatched her curiosity. It seemed like a fitting place to be.

  “Please tell me that drink is for me.”

  Lily glanced up at her magazine and pointed. “Spiced chai frappe, with extra whipped cream. It seems like an extra whipped cream kind of night.”

  “Are you psychic? This is exactly what I needed.”

  “What’s up? Why did ya wanna meet so late?” Lily still flipped through the magazine. She was giving Severine time to say what was really bothering her.

  Her hands held the plastic cup tightly. Straight to the bone, her fingers felt numb—just like her feelings. “I saw my dad while at my mom’s.”

  Beside her, the pages stopped turning. “Are you serious?” Lily asked quietly, for their ears only.

  Severine clenched her eyes tightly and turned her body towards Lily. “He came with Rennick and only stayed for a few hours. But it just ticked me off.”

&nbs
p; “Maybe he wants to reconnect.”

  Severine shrugged. “He’s had nineteen and a half years to do that.”

  “So do you think he has an angle?”

  Severine snorted and leaned back against the decorative pillow. “I have no freakin’ clue. It’s just weird.” Lily nodded her head, but she was already flipping through her magazine. “Rennick was with him though.”

  Lily’s eyebrows rose high in shock. “Really? Now that’s interesting.”

  “I know, I haven’t seen him in so long.”

  “So how’s that piece of hot man meat doing?”

  “Blech, Lily, stop.”

  “He is...” Lily stared off. Severine cringed, knowing Lily was thinking about him. “God...what I’d give for one night with that dude.”

  “You’re with Ben,” Severine mentioned.

  Lily wiped the goofy smile off her face and was back in the real world. “I know that. I’m just saying, if I had a chance at that...”

  If Severine mentioned anything about him asking about her, their conversation would quickly turn into an episode of 90210. Lily had a teenage crush on him that Severine had assumed she was over. Clearly, they were harder to forget than she thought.

  “If we’re done with girl talk of the century, I need to pick out a book real quick and finish up some homework.”

  Severine gave Lily an amused smile. “If? You were the one gushing over Rennick like a middle schooler.”

  The two of them stood. “I’ll always go all middle schooler on that dude. He is-”

  Lily paused mid-grab for her magazine. She stared at the window in horror.

  “Lily, come on. You’re in the wa-”

  Lily snatched Severine tightly by the wrist, dragged her to the back of the couch and yanked her toward the ground. She crouched there with flushed cheeks and eyes as wide as saucers.

  “What the hell are we doing?” Severine hissed out.

  Lily ignored her and peeked over the couch. She lowered her head back and banged her head against the back of the couch.

  Around them, a few customers gaped at them like they were idiots. Severine turned her face away from them, toward the couch. This was bordering on psychotic.