17 - Why I'm Afraid of Bees

  “What kind of problem?” I demanded.

  “It’s Dirk Davis,” Ms. Karmen replied. “It seems he’s become very attached to your old body. He likes your house and your parents, too. In fact, he even likes your sister, Krissy!”

  “So?” I cried. “So what’s that supposed to mean?”

  Ms. Karmen stood up and pushed in her desk chair. “It means,” she said, “that Dirk Davis is refusing to give up your old body. He says he absolutely won’t go back to his old life. He plans to keep your body forever.”

  22

  “WHAT?” I screamed, hopping up and down angrily on the microphone.

  “Just what I said,” Ms. Karmen said. “Dirk Davis wants to keep your body for the rest of his life.”

  “But he can’t do that, can he?”

  “It is very upsetting,” she replied, biting her lower lip. “It wasn’t what he said in our original agreement. But if he refuses to get out of your body and your life, there’s really nothing I can do.”

  Ms. Karmen gazed down at me sympathetically. “I’m so sorry about this, Gary,” she said softly. “I guess I’ll have to be more careful in the future.”

  “What about my future? What am I supposed to do now?” I wailed.

  Ms. Karmen shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you could go back, wait in the hive—and maybe Dirk Davis will change his mind.”

  “Back to the hive?!” My antennas stood straight on end, quivering with rage. “Do you have any idea what it’s like in there? Cramped together with those hairy bees in the darkness? Listening to that deafening buzz day and night?”

  “It’s a way of staying alive,” Ms. Karmen replied bluntly.

  “I—I don’t care!” I stammered. “I’m never going back there! Never!”

  “This is tragic. Tragic!” Ms. Karmen cried. “I’ll give your case some thought tonight, Gary. I promise. Maybe I can come up with a way of getting your body away from Dirk.”

  She crossed the room and opened the office door. “I’m so upset. So upset,” she murmured. Then she disappeared out the door, slamming it behind her.

  Trembling with anger at Dirk Davis, I hopped down to the desk. “Hey, wait!” I called after her. “You’ve locked me in!”

  Ms. Karmen was so upset, she forgot about me!

  I rose up into the air and started after her. But, then, I happened to glance back down at her desk. Dirk Davis’ questionnaire was right on top of a pile of papers. His address was next to his name. He lived at 203 Eastwood Avenue.

  Eastwood Avenue was near the computer store, so I knew where it was. “Maybe the old Dirk Davis will know how to get my body back!” I told myself.

  It was worth a try. I ducked through the slot in the glass and flew around the waiting room.

  No exit. No open window. No crack in the door.

  Once again, I was trapped.

  Frantically, I buzzed all around the waiting room. Then I went back through the slot in the glass. I checked out the whole equipment room. Every window was closed tight.

  I flew past a calendar and happened to see the date. “Oh, no!” I cried. “It’s Friday! It’s the weekend. Ms. Karmen might not come back to work for two whole days.”

  In two days, I realized, I would starve to death!

  I had to get out! I went over to the far wall and noticed another door I hadn’t seen before. I zipped through it.

  The room turned out to be a tiny bathroom. With one small window. Which was open just a crack. It was all I needed.

  “Hurray!” I yelled. I shot out through the window and sailed into the open air. Then I turned right and headed for Eastwood Avenue. Luckily, it wasn’t very far away. All this flying around was really beginning to wear me out.

  I found Dirk Davis’ house without any trouble. When I got there, I saw “Dirk” himself—or whoever he was now—standing in the front yard. I recognized him from the picture I’d seen in the Person-to-Person album.

  “Hey!” I yelled to him. “Hey, er… Dirk!”

  The tall, good-looking boy turned around and stared at me. His mouth moved, and it looked as if he was saying something.

  But I couldn’t understand any words. All I heard was a humming sound.

  “I’m Gary Lutz!” I cried in my little voice. “Can you help me get Dirk Davis out of my body?”

  The boy stared at me. Then he grinned.

  I was confused. What was he grinning about?

  “Hey, you can hear me!” I cried.

  Now “Dirk” motioned with his hand.

  “You want me to follow you?” I asked. I felt excited. “Are you taking me someplace where we can get help?”

  “Dirk” grinned again. Then he turned and walked around the corner of the house. I didn’t know where we were going. But I knew I had to follow him.

  I found “Dirk” in the back yard. “Hum,” he said to me. “Hum.” He pointed to a big rosebush and grinned. Then he stuck his nose deep inside one of the blossoms. “Hummmmmmmmm,” he said. “Yummmmmm.”

  I gaped at him in shock. “Of course!” I cried.

  “You got the bee’s mind when I got the bee’s body!”

  “Dirk” didn’t say anything. But when he pulled his face out of the rose, the end of his nose was covered with yellow pollen.

  “Dirk” looked a little surprised. And disappointed. I guess he missed his long, sucking tongue—the tongue that was now hanging off the front of my face.

  “You can’t help me,” I muttered to him. “You’re in worse shape than I am!”

  “Hum?” he replied. “Hum?”

  He looked kind of silly with that yellow nose. But I felt sorry for him. He and I had the wrong brains in the wrong bodies. I knew exactly how he felt.

  “I’m going to go get help for both of us,” I told him. “If I get my body back, maybe you’ll get yours, too.”

  With a loud buzz, I flew out of the Davises’ yard. As I left, I thought I heard “Dirk” buzz back at me. I glanced over my wing and saw him sticking his face into another rose. Maybe this time he’d have better luck getting the pollen out.

  I headed toward my own house. This time I planned to make Dirk Davis give me my body back. Or else.

  As I turned up my street, I suddenly heard a familiar voice coming from behind a tree.

  “Don’t mess with me! Don’t mess with me, man!”

  I couldn’t believe it. The voice belonged to Marv. But who was he talking to?

  I shot around the tree to find out. To my surprise, I saw that Marv was talking to me—or, Dirk Davis, in my body. Barry and Karl were right beside him.

  Look out, Dirk! I thought. Run! Run!

  Please don’t let them wreck my body!

  But I was too late.

  Barry, Marv, and Karl were closing in on him, about to give him the pounding of his life.

  23

  I flew closer.

  “Look out, Dirk! Look out!” I squeaked.

  But to my surprise, the three hulking creeps weren’t moving in on “Gary”—they were backing away from him!

  “Don’t mess with me!” Marv cried. “I said I was sorry.”

  “We apologized,” Barry whined. “Don’t hit us again, Gary! Please!”

  Karl whimpered behind him, nursing a bloody nose.

  “You guys are losers,” I heard “Gary” tell them. “Take a hike. Go get a life.”

  “Okay! Okay!” Marv cried. “Just no more rough stuff, okay, Gary?”

  “Gary” shook his head and walked away.

  I don’t believe this! I thought gleefully. Barry, Marv, and Karl were afraid of me!

  I decided I’d have some fun with them, too.

  I swooped down and landed on Barry’s nose, buzzing as loudly and menacingly as I could.

  “Yowwwww!” he shrieked in surprise—and swatted himself on the nose.

  I was too fast for him. I was already on Karl’s ear.

  Karl cried out and toppled backwards into a thorny rosebush.

  Then I buz
zed round and around Marv.

  “Get away!” he shouted angrily.

  And I flew right into his mouth.

  His scream nearly deafened me. But it was worth it.

  Marv started spitting and choking and gagging.

  I flew up into the air, laughing so hard, I nearly popped my antennas. That was the most fun I’d had since becoming a bee!

  I watched the three gorillas run away. Then I flew up the block to my house.

  “Gary” had left the window open, and I was able to shoot in. He was lying on my bed, reading one of my comic books and eating crackers with honey on them.

  The honey smelled really good, and I realized I was hungry again. I reminded myself to stop by a flower and get a snack the next time I went outside.

  But, meanwhile, I had work to do. I flew over and landed on Gary’s earlobe.

  “Hey, you! Dirk Davis!” I yelled at the top of my little voice. “I need to talk to you!”

  He reached a hand up and flicked me off his face. I fell down and landed with a bounce on the bed.

  I buzzed angrily and shot right back up to his earlobe. “Hey, you! I want my body back! You have to get out of it. Now!”

  “Gary” folded up his comic book and swung it at me. I buzzed with rage and frustration. I wasn’t going to give up this time. No way! I had to make him hear me.

  I rocketed up in the air and landed on the top of his head. Then I climbed down to his other earlobe and tried one more time. “I’m not leaving you alone till you get out of my body!” I screeched. “Do you hear me?”

  He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Will you please quit bothering me?” he asked. “Can’t you see I’m trying to relax?”

  “You can hear me?”

  “Yeah. Sure,” he muttered. “I can hear you okay.”

  “You can?” I was so surprised, I almost fell off his ear.

  “Yes, I can hear you perfectly. Weird, huh? I’m not sure why. But I think some bee cells got mixed up with my human cells during our electronic transfer. I can hear all kinds of little bug noises now.”

  “Your human cells? Those are my human cells!” I cried.

  Dirk shrugged.

  “Enough chitchat,” I told him. “When do you plan to get out of my body?”

  “Never,” he replied. He picked up his comic book and started reading it again. “I like your body. I can’t understand why you gave it up to go become a bee.”

  “That wasn’t my idea!” I screamed.

  “You’ve got a good life here,” he continued. “I mean, you have great parents. Krissy is an okay sister. And Claus is an awesome cat. Too bad you didn’t know all that when you were in your body. Which is now my body!”

  “It’s not your body! It’s mine! Give it back!” I started to buzz furiously all around his head, swooping down in front of his nose, crashing into his ears, batting my wings in his eyes.

  Dirk Davis didn’t even flinch.

  “What’s the matter with you, anyway?” I yelled. “You’re me now. You’re supposed to be scared of bees!”

  “Gary” laughed. “You’ve forgotten something,” he said. “I’m not you. I’m just inside your body. I’m still me inside. And I’m not the least bit afraid of bees!”

  “And, now,” he went on, “take a hike, okay? Buzz off. I’m busy.”

  Frozen with anger and disappointment, I slumped on the bedspread without moving. “Gary” raised the comic book up into the air. “I’d hate to swat you,” he said. “But I will if I have to!”

  I dodged away just as the comic book slapped down on the bedspread. Then I shot back out the window.

  For a few minutes, I flew aimlessly around, lost in my sad thoughts. Finally, I remembered how hungry I was. I perched on top of a big, orange lily blossom and started sucking up some nectar.

  Not bad, I told myself as I drank. But honey on crackers would be much better.

  “What am I supposed to do now?” I asked myself. “Am I really doomed to be a bee for the rest of my life?” I pulled my head out of the orange blossom and looked around. “And how long is the rest of my life anyway?”

  I remembered a page from The Big Book of Bees.

  “The life of the average bee is not very long. While the queen can live through as many as five winters, the workers and drones die off in the fall.”

  In the fall?

  It was already nearly August!

  If I stayed in this bee body, I had only a month or two at most!

  I gazed sadly up at my house. “Gary” had turned the light on in my room, and it twinkled in the early evening dusk.

  How I wished I could be up there! Why, why had I ever been stupid enough to think I’d be better off in someone else’s body?

  Then I heard a buzz. I peered over the blossom. Sure enough, I saw a bee.

  He hopped up onto the flower. Two other bees quickly joined him. Then three more. They buzzed angrily.

  “Go away!” I cried.

  I tried to fly away.

  But before I could lift off, they all swarmed over me.

  I couldn’t move. The bees had taken me prisoner.

  “Don’t take me back to the hive!” I shrieked. “Don’t take me back!”

  But to my horror, they started to drag me away.

  24

  I struggled to squirm away. But they turned their stingers on me.

  Were they some kind of bee police? Did they think I was trying to escape the hive?

  I didn’t have a chance to discuss it with them. They lifted me up into the air. There were bees in front of me, bees behind, and bees on all sides.

  We flew past my bedroom window. “Help!” I called.

  “Gary” glanced up from his plate of crackers and honey. He smiled and waved at me.

  I was so angry, I thought I might explode.

  But then an idea came to me. A crazy idea. A desperate idea.

  I buzzed as loudly as I could. Then I darted out of line and shot into the open bedroom window.

  Were the others following me? Were they?

  Yes!

  They didn’t want to let me escape.

  “Gary” sat up when he saw me and my buzzing followers. He rolled up his comic book, preparing to swat us.

  I circled the room, and the other bees followed.

  “Get out! Get out!” “Gary” screamed.

  There weren’t enough of us, I decided. I needed a huge swarm.

  I flew back out the window. The others buzzed after me.

  Now I was the head bee. As fast as I could, I led my group back to Mr. Andretti’s garage, and in through the hole in the screen.

  I hesitated at the hive entrance. I took a deep breath.

  Was I really going to go back inside?

  I knew I had no choice. “Go for it, Lutz!” I shouted to myself.

  I shot in through the entrance hole.

  Then I began flying crazily through the hive, buzzing angrily, bumping the walls, bumping other bees.

  The hive stirred to life.

  The buzzing grew to a dull roar. Then a loud roar. Then a deafening roar!

  Round and round I raged, flying faster, faster, throwing myself frantically against the sticky hive walls, tumbling, darting, buzzing furiously.

  The entire hive was in an uproar now.

  I had turned the bees into an angry swarm.

  Out of the hive I flew. Out into the darkening evening. Out through the hole in the screen, up, up, and away.

  And the bees swarmed after me, like a black cloud against the gray-blue sky.

  Up we soared. Up, up.

  A buzzing, swarming funnel cloud.

  Up, up.

  I led them up to the bedroom window.

  Tumbling over each other, raging through the air, we swarmed into “Gary’s” room.

  “Huh?” He jumped off the bed.

  He didn’t have time to say a word.

  I landed in his hair. The raging swarm followed, buzzing angrily, surrounding him, coveri
ng his head, his face, his shoulders.

  “H-help!” His weak cry was drowned out by the roar of the bees. “Help me!”

  I dropped down onto the tip of Gary’s nose. “Have you had enough?” I demanded. “Are you ready to give me back my body?”

  “Never!” he cried. “I don’t care what you do to me! You’ll never get your body back! It’s mine, and I’m keeping it forever!”

  Whoooa! I could not believe my ears.

  I mean, he was covered in bees! And still he wouldn’t listen to reason!

  I didn’t know what to do.

  The other bees were starting to lose interest.

  Some of them drifted to the plate of honey. Most of them floated back out the open window.

  “You can’t get away with this, Dirk!” I screamed.

  With a furious wail, I whirled around. Then I stabbed my razor-sharp stinger deep into the side of “Gary’s” nose.

  “Owwwwwww!” He let out a high-pitched shriek and grabbed at his nose.

  Then he staggered backwards and fell over onto the bed.

  “Yaaaaay!” I cried out in celebration.

  For one instant, I felt triumphant.

  A tiny bee had defeated a huge enemy! I was victorious! I had won a fight against a giant!

  My celebration didn’t last very long.

  I suddenly realized what I had done. And I remembered what happens to a honeybee after it stings someone.

  “I’m going to die,” I murmured weakly. “I stung someone, and now I’m going to die!”

  25

  Weaker.

  I felt the strength drain from me.

  Weaker and weaker.

  “What have I done?” I asked myself. “I gave up my life for the chance to sting Dirk Davis! Why was I such a jerk?”

  I struggled to keep my wings moving, struggled to stay in the air.

  I knew I was doomed. But I wanted to stay alive as long as I could. Maybe, I thought, as I felt my strength fading, maybe I’ll have a chance to tell my family good-bye.

  “Mom! Dad! Krissy!” I buzzed faintly. “Where are you?”