Her Ladyship's Elephant

  CHAPTER XI

  IN WHICH THERE ARE TWO CLAIMANTS FOR ONE DINNER

  The village clock was on the stroke of one when the little processiondrew up before the door of the principal inn in the main square of asmall town on the road between Salisbury and Southampton.

  Scarsdale had been surprised to find how little excitement they hadcreated in their progress through the countryside; but then he hadchosen the most unfrequented roads, avoiding villages as he would apestilence. Man and beast must be fed somewhere, however, and, accordingto Tom, the elephant was giving no uncertain signs that he wanted hisdinner. So, against his better judgment, Scarsdale had turned aside intoa neighbouring town, whence, after an hour's rest and refreshment, hedetermined to push on that afternoon to a quiet inn he knew of, nearFording Bridge, and thence to Christchurch the following morning.

  Both he and Mrs. Allingford had been as quiet as mice during the lasthour; indeed, the novel position in which they found themselves inclinedthem rather to thought than conversation.

  Their entrance into the town was effected more easily than could havebeen hoped for; though, in some unknown manner, a rumour of their comingseemed to have preceded them: for a crowd had collected along the mainstreet, which cheered them vociferously, under the mistaken impressionthat they were the proprietors of a circus. No travelling show thatwound its course through those country lanes had ever possessed such anattraction, and the people moved away after they had passed, full ofwonder at the appearance of this strange monster among them, and regretthat with such a beginning there was nothing more to follow.

  Once they had come to a halt, they were surrounded by a curious crowd,and Scarsdale lost no time in entering into explanations with thelandlord of the inn, who came hurrying out to receive his novel guests.

  It was at this point that their troubles first began; for mine host,while he professed to furnish entertainment for man and beast, wasdubious concerning the monster which it was proposed to quarter on himso unexpectedly. The lady and gentleman, their coachman, horses, andeven the cockney mahout were more than welcome; but elephants were notin his line of business. He didn't know if he could give satisfaction;feared his accommodations were not sufficiently ample; would like tooblige, but had the reputation of his house to maintain, &c., &c.

  When Scarsdale happened, however, casually to mention that it was LadyMelton's elephant a change came over the face of affairs, of which hewas not slow to take advantage.

  Her ladyship was well known throughout the county, while her reputationfor severity had a still wider circulation, and the landlord was inabject fear of her, though, nevertheless, obstinately determined to havenone of the beast.

  The subject of all this altercation had meantime appropriated the publichorse-trough to his exclusive use for drinking and bathing purposes, andwas enjoying himself in consequence, which was more than could be saidof his rider, who shared unwillingly in his ablutions.

  "Give 'im the word to sit down, sir. S'welp me, I'll be drownded with'is tricks!" cried Tom.

  "I don't speak his infernal language," returned Scarsdale testily;"that's your business."

  "I've told 'im all I know, sir, an' it's no use."

  "Then I'm afraid you'll have to stay up and get wet."

  "Couldn't yer 'elp me down, sir? Quit that, yer 'eathen!" as he dodged ashower of water.

  "Certainly not," replied Scarsdale. "You can't leave him riderless in apublic place."

  Then, turning to the landlord, who stood by in sore perplexity,aimlessly rubbing his hands, he continued:

  "It's a beastly shame that a gentleman can't take a lady's elephant outfor--exercise without running up against all this nonsense in the firstlittle hamlet he comes across! One would almost think you had never seenan elephant before."

  The landlord, whose eyes had up to this time been fairly bulging withcuriosity, now declared himself desolated at such an uncalled-forsuspicion.

  "Perhaps it would be better if the gentleman were to send for aconstable."

  Mine host neglected to add that he had done so on his own responsibilityin his first burst of agitation.

  But Scarsdale, noting the excellent effect which his rating had producedon the landlord, determined that he should have some more of it.

  "If you are afraid," he said, "of damaging your ramshackle old inn,perhaps you'll consent to give my elephant his dinner in the square?"

  Mine host rolled up his eyes at this new phase of the question.

  "I suppose," continued Scarsdale, "that the dignity of this 'tuppennyha'penny' town won't be seriously impaired by his presence for an hourin your elegant plaza!"

  The last portion of this speech was lost on the landlord, because he didnot know what a "plaza" was; but it sounded imposing, and he hastened toassure his guest that the town would feel honoured by the elephant'spresence, though he would have to procure a permit from the mayor.Should he show him the way to that functionary's house?

  This, however, proved to be unnecessary, as the mayor himself waspresent in the crowd, a pompous, fussy little man, full of theimportance of his office. Lady Melton's name, which he had heardmentioned in connection with the affair, acted as a charm, and broughthim bustling forward to shake Scarsdale's hand, assure him that nopermit was required, and snub the innkeeper.

  "Anything I can do for a relation of her ladyship's--I think you said arelation?" he inquired.

  Scarsdale had not said anything of the kind, but unwillingly admittedthat he was her nephew. Upon receiving this intelligence the mayorpositively beamed, called Scarsdale "your lordship," and became mostsolicitous after Lady Melton's health. Her nephew gravely assured himthat he might make his mind easy on that score, as his aunt was in thebest of health, and that as soon as he returned to Melton Court (a mostuncertain date, he thought grimly) he would be sure to convey to her hiskind inquiries.

  His worship on this was positively effusive, declared himself devoted toScarsdale's interests, and insisted that he and "her ladyship,"indicating Mrs. Allingford--another slip which his companion did nottrouble to correct--must do him the honour of dining with Mrs. Mayorand himself.

  Scarsdale was now beginning to fear that he was doing it rather toowell, and hastened to excuse "her ladyship" and himself, declaring thatthey could not think of trespassing on his worship's hospitality, andthat they would be quite comfortable at the inn, if only the elephantmight be permitted to have his dinner in the square.

  The mayor declared that it was just what he most desired; but would hislordship kindly indicate of what that meal must consist?

  This was a poser; but Scarsdale plunged recklessly on, for, having onceentered the broad road of deception, there was no turning back, and hewas surprised himself at the facility with which he could romance.

  "That is just the trouble of taking charge of other people's pets," hesaid, with shameless indifference to the demands of truth. "I'm sure Idon't know much more about the brute than you do; and as his mahout wasaway when we started out, I had to take one of the grooms. What _does_Jehoshaphat eat, Tom?"

  "Hay, sir--me lud, I mean," answered Tom, falling in with the humour ofthe situation.

  "Oh! hay, of course," said Scarsdale.

  "How much, your lordship?" queried the mayor.

  "How much? Confound it! how should I know? Do you take me for anelephant trainer?" A remark which nearly reduced his worship to chaos;but Scarsdale, relenting, added:

  "Say five or six tons--I don't know."

  "But it is not easy, my lord, to procure such an amount at shortnotice," expostulated the official.

  "Oh, then, get him a waggon-load or two as a first course, and we'llfind something else a little later."

  "It shall be procured at once. I--er--trust your lordship will not takeit amiss, since you will not dine with me, if I offer you a glassof--shall we say champagne?"

  "With pleasure," said Scarsdale.

  "And her ladyship?" looking towards the carriage.

  Mrs. Allingford bow
ed, and the mayor whispered a few words in minehost's ear.

  Just at that moment, as Scarsdale was drawing his first easy breath,feeling at last that things were going smoothly, the very worst_contretemps_ that could possibly happen occurred. Two dusty figuresshambled around the corner of a neighbouring street into the square, andone of them in a high-pitched voice, that was distinctly heard by everymember of the crowd, exclaimed:

  "Hi, there! What are you doing with my elephant?"

  Scarsdale swung round to face the newcomers, a premonition of comingevil strong upon him, though a careful inspection assured him that heknew them not; yet conviction hang in every note of that challenge.

  They were, in a word, the owner of elephants and the unregenerate Dick.

  From early dawn they had made their way across country, in as straighta line as possible from Winchester to Salisbury, sometimes on foot andsometimes in such conveyances as they could hire from place to place;but ever buoyed up by hope--hope of finding that which was lost; hope ofrestoring elephants to their rightful owners; hope of clearing abrother's name. And here, unexpectedly, they had come upon the object oftheir search in the hands of total strangers.

  "Who the devil are you?" cried Scarsdale hotly, scenting danger, anddetermined to face the worst at once. "I don't know you."

  "I'm Richard Allingford," said the larger of the two men, pushingforward till he faced the bewildered Englishman.

  At this point Scarsdale, whose coolness alone could have saved thesituation, lost his head. His temper, which had been severely tried bythe vicissitudes of the day, gave way in the presence of the man whoseescapades had caused him such needless suffering and indignity, and,regardless of results, he spoke his mind.

  "So you're Richard Allingford, are you? Then allow me to tell you thatyou are the prettiest scoundrel that I've run across in a long time!Curse you! Do you know I've spent two days, this week, in Winchesterjail on your account?"

  A broad grin broke over Richard's face.

  "I guess you must be Scarsdale," he said. "But what in thunder are youdoing with my brother's elephant?"

  "It's mine!" arose the shrill voice of his companion. "I tell you hestole it from me!"

  This was too much for Mrs. Allingford, and, to make a bad matter worse,she cried from the carriage:

  "The Consul did not steal the elephant! It is his property, and I'm hiswife!"

  A voice from the crowd chimed in:

  "But 'e said it was 'er ladyship's helephant!"

  The mayor's face was a study in its various shades of suspicion--angerat being, as he very naturally supposed, duped; and certainty of theduplicity of all concerned, as the contradictory conversationcontinued. And there is no knowing how quickly he might haveprecipitated the final catastrophe, if the elephant had not chosen thisopportunity for creating a diversion on his own account, which, for thetime being, distracted every one's thoughts. He had had, it will beremembered, a very light breakfast, which only served to whet the edgeof his appetite. It therefore took him but a short time to locate thewhereabouts of a lad who, emerging from the inn with an appetisingdinner of bacon and greens arranged in a basket balanced on his head,stood gaping on the outskirts of the crowd, unmindful of the coolingviands. Some playful breeze must have wafted the savoury odour ofcabbage to the elephant's nostrils; for suddenly, and without previouswarning, flinging his trunk in the air with a joyous trumpet, he poundeddown the road, nearly unseating his rider, and scattering the crowd toright and left.

  "Wait for me when you get to Christchurch!" Scarsdale called to Tom asthe latter shot past him, and then joined in the rush which followedclose on the elephant's heels, the mayor and the landlord well to thefore; while Mrs. Allingford's driver, who was only human, increased theconfusion by whipping up his horses and joining in the chase.

  Ahead of the excited beast and the noisy throng which followed it,holding on like grim death to his dinner-basket, fled the worse-scaredboy that had ever been seen in that town. Fortunately the chase was ofshort duration, for the cubicle of the telegraph-clerk at the railwaystation was just ahead, and offered a ready refuge. Into it flew thelad, dinner and all, and slammed the door, just in time to escape fromthe elephant's curling trunk.

  The beast, despoiled of his meal, circled the building trumpeting withrage, and finally took up a position across the rails, where he stoodguard, prepared to fall upon any one who should venture out.

  All the station attendants and officials were now added to the crowdwhich swarmed about the elephant, and the business of the townpractically came to a standstill.

  The station-master only added to the excitement by declaring that atrain for Salisbury was due, and that the line must be cleared; whilethe telegraph-clerk announced from an upper storey that wild horses, letalone elephants, would not drag him forth from the shelter of hisoffice, and the blubbering of the unfortunate boy made a monotonousaccompaniment to his speech. The mayor blustered, the navvies swore, Tomaddressed floods of unintelligible jargon to the obstinate beast, and,as a last resort, Scarsdale coaxed and wheedled him in very defectiveHindustani. But it was all useless; not an inch would the elephantbudge, and no one in all that assemblage was clever enough to think ofgiving him the telegraph-clerk's dinner.

  In the midst of this confusion, a shrill whistle was heard in thedistance, and some one with a clearer head than the rest cried out to"set the signals against the train"--a suggestion which was at onceacted upon, and in a moment more the engine drew up, panting, within adozen feet of the elephant, who was so intent on the contents of thecubicle that he never noticed its arrival.

  As a general thing, it is the American tourist who alights from a trainon no provocation, while his English cousin is content to sit quiet, andleave the affairs of the line in the hands of the company. In this case,however, some subtle sense of the unusual obstacle seemed to havecommunicated itself to the passengers; for no sooner had the enginehalted than heads were thrust out of every window, and the greatestexcitement prevailed.

  "I don't know if Scarsdale and my wife are here," said Allingford, who,in company with Carrington and Mrs. Scarsdale, occupied one of theforward carriages, "but there is her ladyship's elephant!"

  "You're right," cried his fair companion, taking his place at thewindow. Then, as she caught sight of Scarsdale, she exclaimed "St.Hubart!" and pushing open the door, jumped out, and fled down the line.

  "By Jove! that's my wife!" exclaimed the Consul, fleeing after her, andupsetting a porter in his haste.

  From a distance Carrington saw a confused mingling of four persons, andsighed as he caught himself wondering if he would ever be fool enough todo that sort of thing in public.

  As he slowly approached them he heard scraps of their conversation.

  "By the way, Allingford," Scarsdale was saying, "I brought you back yourelephant, which it seems you were careless enough, in the hurry ofdeparture, to leave behind you at Melton Court. I hope you are properlygrateful."

  "Oh, it isn't mine," replied the Consul; "it belongs to her Ladyship."

  "Well, she said it was yours," returned her nephew.

  "Ah, that was merely her excessive amiability," said Allingford.

  "It had not struck me in that light before," replied Scarsdale. "Anyway,I've brought it back to you, and a nice time I've had of it."

  "Did you pilot it all the way from Melton Court?" queried the Consul.

  "I did," replied the Englishman, "through the main streets of this town;that is where my Indian training stood me in good stead; but it hasruined my character--most of the inhabitants look on me with suspicion."

  "Was your holding up of our train intentional?"

  "No," said Scarsdale regretfully, "it wasn't. There are lots of damagesto pay, I assure you."

  "You must settle them with Lady Melton."

  "But what am I to do with the beast?"

  "My dear fellow," returned the Consul, "I've been your wife's devotedslave for the last two days, and I have restored her safe and sou
nd toyour arms, but I really can't undertake to manage your aunt's elephantsinto the bargain."

  "But at least you might advise me."

  "Turn him over to Cassim."

  "To whom?"

  "Why, to his own mahout, the little brown man who is dancing round himnow. I discovered him tearing his hair at Southampton station, where hewas left by mistake yesterday, and brought him along."

  "Then for heaven's sake make him get his beast off the line!" criedScarsdale, dragging Allingford up to the native keeper.

  "My lord desireth his mid-day meal, and the sahib of the watch-towerhath it within," explained that functionary.

  "Tell his lordship that he'll have a great deal better dinner if he willgo back to the square," said Allingford.

  Just what the mahout said to the elephant will never be known, but itproved convincing: for, with a grunt of dissatisfaction, the beastconsented to retrace his steps.

  "And now that we have settled this little matter," said the Consul,"there is nothing left for us but to express our unbounded gratitudeto--well, to the elephant for reuniting us all, and start once more onour honeymoons; for which this train is mighty convenient."

  "I have a word to say about that," cried the mayor. "I'm by no meanssatisfied about the ownership of this elephant. I've been given tounderstand that it belongs to Lady Melton. Is this so?"

  "Yes," said the Consul and Mr. and Mrs. Scarsdale.

  "No," said Mrs. Allingford, Carrington, Tom, and the original owner, inone and the same breath.

  "I say, Bob, did you steal it after all?" queried the graceless Richard.

  "I took it in payment of a debt," replied his brother hotly.

  "Only twenty pounds!" groaned the elephant man. "It's as good as asteal!"

  "And I gave it to Lady Melton," continued the Consul, "in payment for myboard and lodging."

  "And she gave it to me," said Mrs. Allingford.

  "I lost my lord at the place of docks," wailed the mahout.

  "'E 'ired me to ride hit," cried Tom, indicating Scarsdale.

  "And what right have you to it, sir?" blustered the mayor, turning tothat gentleman.

  "I don't know," replied Scarsdale.

  "I consider this most unsatisfactory," continued his worship. "I think Imay define the actions of those who have had a hand in this affairas--ahem!--contradictory and open to question. I shall telegraph LadyMelton, and pending her reply I must detain you all as suspiciouscharacters."

  * * * * *

  So it came to pass that the nine, gathered together in the chief parlourof the inn, with a constable on duty, awaited for some hours a responseto the mayor's telegram. It arrived finally, embodied in the person ofAunt Eliza, who had gone to Melton Court that morning, and was now freshfrom an interview with the mayor, which had resulted in the freedom ofall concerned.

  The old lady looked the couples over through her eye-glasses, and gavevent to an expressive "Humph!"

  To her niece alone did she deign to express herself more fully, nor didshe scruple to mince her words.

  "Well, Mabel," she remarked, "you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Igave you a first-class recommendation only two days ago, as being wellfitted to plan and carry out a honeymoon, and look what a mess you'vemade of it! Where did you come from last?"

  "From Winchester," replied her niece, "where I was looking for myhusband, who had been arrested for impersonating Mr. Allingford'sbrother," and she pointed to Dick, who joined the group on hearing hisname mentioned.

  "What business have you to be holding a public office, with a brotherlike that?" Miss Cogbill demanded sternly of the Consul; but noting hisevident discomfiture, she had the grace to add:

  "You're by no means a fool, however, barring your habit of losingthings. That deed of gift you presented to Lady Melton was a cleverstroke of business, and has helped you all out of a bad hole."

  "Have you seen her ladyship? What did she say?" cried the Consul.

  "She said a good deal," replied Aunt Eliza. "Naturally she was prettymad, for the beast had done a heap of damage, but she was bound to admityou weren't to blame for its getting loose, and, as I pointed out toher, you had a right to pay for your board and lodging if you chose,though, from the looks of her ramshackle old place, I thought you'dgiven more than the accommodation was worth. Besides which there weregrievances and plenty on your side of the question. By her own showingshe hadn't been decently civil to you, and had turned over that monsterto your deserted and defenceless wife, and cast my nephew adrift, andtried to send my niece home with the butler. Her ladyship saw thejustice of my remarks. She means well, but her training's against her.When I came to the elephant, though, I struck a snag, for she gave meto understand that she'd turned it off the place and never wanted tohear of it again. 'Now, your ladyship,' says I, 'turning an elephantadrift in the world isn't like casting your bread upon the waters;you're bound to find it before many days.' And I hadn't more than gotthe words out of my mouth when in came that telegram from the mayor,saying that traffic was blocked on the railway in both directions, andnine people arrested, all along of that beast. Her ladyship's lawyer,"continued Aunt Eliza, indicating a gentleman of unmistakably legalappearance who had followed her into the room, "backed me up by pointingout that the deed of gift was good, and the elephant her property, andthat she'd be obliged to pay for any damage it might do; after which sheclimbed down from her ancestral tree quick enough, and was willing tolisten to reason. So here I am, and here is the lawyer; and now, if youplease, we will attend to business."

  This she proceeded to do, and in an amazingly short space of time, withthe authority of the lawyer, had settled the scruples of the mayor;received a release of indebtedness from the Consul, who willinglysurrendered his papers, declaring that he had had "more than twentypounds' worth of fun out of the elephant"; and transferred the documentsto the lawyer, with instructions to sell the beast to the originalconsignees at Southampton, and to remit the purchase-money to theelephant man, less the twenty pounds for damages, which, she added,"Just cancels his debt to the Consul, making him square on thetransaction."

  The lawyer patted his hands, saying:

  "Very well argued, Miss Cogbill."

  "Lady Melton," said Aunt Eliza, turning to Mr. and Mrs. Scarsdale andMr. and Mrs. Allingford, "has authorised me to say, on her behalf, thatshe overlooks and regrets the events of the last few days, and wishesthem to be forgotten. In token of which she requests you four to dinewith her, and spend the night at Melton Court; and I may add thatyou'll be fools if you don't accept." After which dissent wasimpossible.

  "And I want to tell you," said Miss Cogbill, turning to Carrington,"that you've managed this affair very well; and as I'm in want of alikely young man as my business agent, if you call on me to-morrow intown, we'll see if we can't find something more profitable for you to dothan hunting up stray honeymooners."

  "Say!" interjected the graceless Richard, who was far from pleased atthe turn affairs had taken--"Say, where do I come in?"

  "Young man," said Aunt Eliza, turning on him like a flash, "did you buya return ticket to America?"

  "Yes, but----"

  "Well, then," she interrupted, "you use it, the first chance you get.And as for you," addressing the two married couples, "the sooner youstart for Melton Court the better; and don't let me hear of your beinglost again."

  "Aren't you coming with us, Miss Cogbill?" asked Scarsdale.

  "The lawyer and I," replied that lady, "are the only two responsiblepersons in this crowd, and we'll stay right here and look after--HerLadyship's Elephant."