Gone (Deadly Secrets Book 2)

  “Well, you’re gonna listen now, bitch. Stop looking into things that are only going to get people killed.”

  Tears burned Raegan’s eyes, and she tried to twist her head against the asphalt to see her attacker, but he pressed a hand to the side of her head, holding her still.

  “So fucking pretty,” he said in an almost singsongy voice as he fingered her hair. “Yeah, you’ll listen this time, won’t you?” He stroked a finger down the side of her neck. One that sent a new terror straight down her spine. “’Cause if you don’t, I promise this’ll only be a taste of what I can do.”

  Alec pulled up to the check-in station at the gate of the Santiam Correctional Institution and rolled down his window. Rain blew into his cab as the guard moved out of the small building, carrying a clipboard.

  “Visiting hours are almost over, sir.”

  “I know,” Alec said. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

  The guard frowned and looked down at his clipboard. “Inmate name?”

  “John Gilbert.”

  The guard scanned his paper, flipped it to the next page, then the following. Rain blew into Alec’s cab as he waited, sending a chill across his skin that did little to cool his blood.

  “I’m not seeing that name on the list. Hold on.” The guard moved back into the small building and lifted a phone. Through the window, Alec watched as the man called up to the facility, a whisper of foreboding tingling along his spine.

  The guard hung up and moved back to Alec’s window. “John Gilbert was released yesterday morning.”

  A mixture of disbelief and dread churned through Alec’s gut. “He wasn’t supposed to be released until the end of the week.”

  The guard shrugged. “Looks like he was let go early.”

  Dread turned to fear, then to horror. Alec shoved the truck into reverse, whipped around, and peeled out of the gravel drive.

  Because only one thought circled in his head.

  The note on Raegan’s car yesterday hadn’t come from any of Gilbert’s buddies. It had come from Gilbert himself. He’d followed Alec to that coffee shop, had seen Alec and Raegan together, and had changed his plans to go after her instead of him, just as he’d promised Alec he would when they’d met. And if he’d tailed Raegan home after that, he could be watching her right now. He could be hiding outside her door. He could be waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

  Alec knew the fucker would do it too. He’d do it the minute Alec was gone and she was alone. Just as she was right this minute.

  Every inch of Raegan’s body hurt as she climbed out of Anna Chapman’s Civic and looked back through the window at the twenty-three-year-old girl who’d been interning at KTVP for the last two months. “Thanks for picking me up from the police station and bringing me home. Sorry to bother you after hours.”

  Anna tipped her head from the driver’s seat. “It’s no bother, Raegan. I’m just sorry you got mugged like that. I always think Portland’s so safe. I’m definitely not telling my mom about this. She’d want me to move home to Klamath Falls right away.”

  Raegan tried for a smile, but her cheek hurt too much from being shoved into the asphalt to do more than scowl. “I appreciate it just the same. I would have called Jeremy, but—”

  “Yeah, I heard you guys split.” Anna wrinkled her nose. “I wouldn’t have called him either. You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just a few bumps and bruises. No real damage. Thanks again, Anna.”

  “Night, Raegan.”

  Raegan moved slower than she liked toward the double doors at the entry to her building. Her back was on fire, and she knew she’d have a nice-sized bruise in the middle of her spine by tomorrow, but she was glad whoever had attacked her had released her and run off without hurting her in other unthinkable ways.

  Once she’d picked herself up from the ground and realized she was alone, she’d located her keys and cell phone. Her keys had been intact. Her cell phone shattered. All she’d wanted to do was limp home, but she’d known she had to report the attack, so she’d made her way to the police station where she’d filled out a report, then called Jack Bickam and relayed her attacker’s cryptic message.

  Alec was convinced John Gilbert had left that message on her car the other night, but he couldn’t have been the one to attack her today because he was still in jail on a probation violation. Bickam had agreed with Raegan, but he’d promised to visit Gilbert at SCI and question him to see if he’d sent anyone after her. Raegan didn’t have much faith Bickam would be able to pin this on Gilbert. She could have been attacked by anyone. It could have been someone who’d seen her at Barbara Willig’s house earlier in the day. It could have been someone who thought she was looking into a completely different story at the station. Her attacker hadn’t mentioned Emma or the missing kids she and Alec were looking into now. In fact, he hadn’t mentioned anything except to stop digging.

  Stop digging? That’s what reporters did. Shaking her head, she keyed in her building code and pulled the lobby door open.

  Thankfully, there was no one in the lobby, and she was able to ride the elevator up alone. She wasn’t in the mood to talk right now and only wanted to take two Tylenol PM and fall asleep. The bell dinged, and the double doors opened. Looking down at the keys in her scraped hand, she shuffled forward, then drew to a stop when she spotted a shadowy figure at the end of the hall in front of her door.

  Fear shoved aside all the pain, and her stomach tightened. Then the man turned and she recognized his dark hair and athletic build.

  “Ethan?” She limped down the hallway toward him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Holy hell.” Ethan’s eyes grew wide as she drew close. “I guess he had every reason to be worried.”

  “Who?”

  “Alec. He called me from his truck about thirty minutes ago, asked me to come over and check on you. Said he couldn’t get a hold of you. He gave me the building code to get in. I was just about to leave you a note.”

  Her frustration with Alec and her inability to let go of something he’d obviously let go of long ago got the best of her. She shoved her key in the lock and turned it with a frown. “Really? I find that hard to believe, considering he bolted away from me earlier as if I had cooties.”

  Ethan chuckled as he followed her into the apartment. “That’s my brother. Totally suave.” He closed the door at his back. “What the hell happened to you?”

  Raegan dropped her keys on the entry table, moved down the short hallway into her living room, and sank onto the couch, feeling more tired than she could ever remember. “Someone jumped me on the street.”

  “You were mugged?”

  “No, warned. To stop looking into things that don’t concern me.”

  Ethan stared down at her with his hands on his hips. “A story you’re researching for the station?”

  She shrugged. “Not sure. He wasn’t specific.”

  “Shit. Did you report it?”

  She nodded. “A friend from the station picked me up at the police station and brought me home. It looks worse than it is, Ethan. It’s just bruises and some swelling from hitting the ground. I didn’t even need to go to the hospital.”

  He eyed her as if he wasn’t so sure. “Alec asked me to check on you because he went to see John Gilbert at SCI tonight. Gilbert was released yesterday morning.”

  Raegan looked up with wide eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “That’s what he said.”

  Shit. It very well could have been Gilbert then. Unease tightened her stomach because she knew Alec was going to flip his lid when he saw her. And because he was going to insist Gilbert had left the note on her car and done this to her when he still had no proof.

  Closing her eyes, she drew a deep breath that did little to make her feel better. “Tonight I really don’t want to think about Alec or his estranged father. I just want to sleep.”

  Ethan chuckled. “That sounds like someone who knows how obsessive
my brother can be.”

  She blinked and rubbed her throbbing forehead. “Unfortunately, I know that way too well.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure you do.” Ethan smiled and pulled his cell from his back pocket. “I’ll call Alec and tell him you’re fine and not to come by. Do you want me to stay? I can sleep on the couch.”

  “No.” She hated when people fussed over her. A direct result of her parents never fussing when it came to her, she was sure. “I’ll be fine. You have Sam waiting at home.”

  “Samantha will understand.”

  “I’m really fine.” Raegan pushed to her feet, fighting back a wince as pain streaked down her spine. “Security in this building is good. Even if whoever did this knows where I live—which I’m sure they don’t—they can’t get in. I’m not worried.”

  “If you’re sure. It’s really no bother.”

  “I’m sure.” She walked him to the door, but as they drew close to her entryway, a thought rattled in the back of her mind. “I appreciate you coming by to check on me.” She stopped and looked up at him, debated, then finally decided she might not ever have another chance to ask. “Can I ask you something before you go?”

  “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

  She bit her lip. Ethan and Alec were roughly the same height, nearly the same build, and from a distance, most people assumed they were full-blood brothers, even though Ethan was dark and Alec was blond. They did share a deep brotherly bond, though, and she wasn’t sure if her question would cross a line. She decided to go for it anyway.

  “Alec said something the other day about hitting rock bottom. I thought he was talking about when we split up, but I got this funny feeling that wasn’t what he meant.”

  Unease passed over Ethan’s face, telling her loud and clear he knew exactly what rock bottom meant.

  “It wasn’t when we split, was it?” she asked.

  Ethan stared at her several seconds as if debating his answer, then said, “No, it was after. He held it together for about three months. Then when he got the final divorce papers, he spiraled downward really fast. He’s good at pretending everything’s fine, but I had a hunch it wasn’t. I went out to his place to check on him.”

  Ethan hesitated, and a tingle rushed down Raegan’s spine when she sensed whatever he’d found had not been good. “And?”

  He sighed. “And I found him facedown on his kitchen table, an empty bottle of Jack near his left hand, and a loaded .45 near his right.”

  “Oh my God.” She lifted a hand to her mouth so Ethan couldn’t see it hanging open in shock.

  “When he came to in the hospital, he was pissed,” Ethan went on. “Then apologetic after the buzz wore off. He swore he wasn’t trying to kill himself, but Mom and Dad weren’t convinced. They had him admitted to a rehab center. It was a ninety-day treatment program, which he agreed to go through. When he got out, he promised he wouldn’t drink again. As far as I know he’s lived up to that promise and hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol since.”

  All the things Alec had said over the last few days ricocheted through Raegan’s mind, and her heart hurt for him and everything he’d gone through. But something else was growing inside her, a frustration, a simmering anger that he’d let all of that happen instead of turning to her as she’d wanted him to do, as she’d begged him to do. She’d never once blamed him for what had happened to Emma. She’d done everything she could to get him to lean on her instead of the alcohol. To pick them over the bottle. But he’d tossed her aside as if she’d meant nothing to him. And as long as she lived she’d never forget what he’d said to her before he’d walked out of this apartment that last time. The words that still cut like a knife every time she remembered them.

  “We only got married because you were pregnant. Now that she’s gone, there is no us.”

  “Anyway,” Ethan said, “I’m sure he never told you because—”

  “Because it’s none of my business.” Her jaw clenched. “That’s exactly what he’d think and say. Because Alec McClane makes all the decisions. Well, you know what, Ethan? I’m done letting him make them for me.”

  One side of Ethan’s mouth quirked up, and his eyes crinkled at the corners with amusement. “You’re a strong woman, you know that, Raegan Devereaux?”

  Not strong enough, because her stupid heart was still tied up in knots over his brother. Starting tonight, she was changing that, though.

  She reached for the door handle and tugged it open. “Thanks again for checking up on me.”

  Ethan closed his arms around her. “Anytime. Call me if you need me.”

  She wouldn’t. They both knew it. “I will.”

  She let go of him. Forced a smile and turned.

  And stared into Alec’s wild blue eyes.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Alec’s gaze shot from Raegan’s scraped and bruised face to his brother standing next to her with a hand closed way too tightly around her upper arm. “What the hell?”

  Ethan let go of Raegan and frowned. “Don’t go getting any crazy ideas. I came over here to check on her, like you asked.”

  Alec pushed his way into the apartment, forcing them back, and slammed the door behind him. “I said make sure she was okay, not let this fucking happen.”

  “I’m standing right here, you know,” Raegan said, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I can see that. Looking like someone’s punching bag.” Alec turned on his brother. “How the hell did this happen?”

  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Raegan dropped her hands and looked toward Ethan. “Ethan, good to see you.” She glared at Alec. “And you? For your information, I’m a grown adult who doesn’t need you sending people to check on me like a five-year-old. You know where the door is, Alec McClane. Use it.”

  She turned for the hallway that led to the bedrooms, leaving them standing dumbfounded in the entryway as her bedroom door slammed shut.

  “What the fuck was that?” Alec asked, staring after her.

  “That,” Ethan said, “is a woman who has finally had enough.”

  When Alec glared at his brother, Ethan shook his head as if he were a moron. “Word of advice? When you go in there to talk to her, like I know you can’t stop yourself from doing, check the attitude at the door. She’s been through hell tonight.”

  Fear and a renewed burst of rage spiraled through Alec, draining the blood from his face. “Was she—”

  “She’s fine. Already went to the police station and filed a report. Didn’t need to go to the hospital. Some guy roughed her up a little, but that’s it.”

  Relief whipped through Alec, but his heart still raced like a thoroughbred, and all he wanted to do was see for himself that Raegan was only bruised and nothing else. He stepped past his brother.

  “Whoa.” Ethan’s hand landed hard against Alec’s chest, stopping him from moving more than two steps. “I said she’s fine. But you go in there all fired up like this, and I guarantee she won’t be fine. She’ll be more pissed than she is right now.”

  His pulse was a roar in his ears, but a little of what Ethan was saying got through, and he focused on his brother’s green eyes. “Did she say who it was?”

  “No.”

  He looked back down the hallway toward her bedroom door, fighting the rage building again inside. “We both know who it was.”

  “Maybe. But she’s a tough chick. Tougher than you give her credit for.”

  She was. Alec knew that.

  “Do me a favor and chill out before you go barging in there.”

  “Okay.”

  “Yes?”

  Alec turned a glare Ethan’s way. “Yes, okay?” He shoved at Ethan’s hand, which was still pressed against his chest. “Now back the hell off.”

  Ethan released him but still didn’t move. And several seconds of silence passed before he said, “Sucks when they don’t need you, huh?”

  Alec’s heart twisted as he looked down the hallway again. It did suck. More than Ethan would ever know. Raegan had
never really needed him. He was the one who’d always needed her. He’d just never been able to tell her that. And now it was way too late to even try.

  Ethan’s keys jangled in the silence as he pulled them from his pocket. “Too bad that’s not the real problem between you two.” When Alec glanced his way, Ethan moved toward the open door and shrugged. “The real problem is that you never thought you deserved her. Even before you lost Emma. You think you’re like John Gilbert, but you’re not. And until you let go of that kind of thinking, nothing’s ever going to change for you or for her.”

  Ethan tugged the door closed softly at his back. His muffled footsteps sounded in the hall, then silence settled over the apartment. But that silence was short-lived as Alec’s pulse sped up, turning to a roar in his ears.

  Was Ethan right? Was he the one holding Raegan back from moving on? The tightness in his chest told him yes. He’d agreed to help her because he wanted to make amends, and he couldn’t do that until he fessed up to all his shortcomings, not just his drinking. Because the drinking was really a result of everything else. Of not being able to let go of the past, of not being strong enough to face up to his guilt, of not being able to control his environment.

  Nerves curled all through his gut like waves crashing against a beach. On legs not nearly as steady as he liked, he crossed to Raegan’s door, lifted his hand, and knocked. No answer came from inside, so he reached for the door handle and turned.

  The bedroom was empty. Water sounded from the adjoining bathroom, indicating she was in the shower. He debated his options, knew he needed to leave, but was also smart enough to realize if he did, he’d chicken out and never say the things he wanted to say. Ethan was right. He was the one holding them both back from healing. It was way past time he fixed things for her and for him.

  He stood where he was for several minutes, looking over the room he’d once shared with her. This space was definitely different. She’d replaced all the furniture. Instead of golden oak, the dresser and side tables were white-painted pine. She’d gotten rid of the huge, king-sized sleigh bed that had taken up most of the room and replaced it with a queen-sized wrought-iron bed with scrolling detail that arched at the headboard. The bedding was puffy and white. The accent curtains were white. Even the club chair in the corner of the room was white striped, the blue throw pillow on its seat the only color in the entire room.