Juliette

  “Believe me, Saint-Fond,” I replied to my lover, “to all the principles you have just settled I adhere most cordially. Only one thing disturbs me: one must, you asserted, be treacherous in one’s dealings with everybody; now, if by ill chance you were so with me—”

  “You need dread no such eventuality,” the Minister affirmed at once. “I shall never be treacherous toward my friends, if merely because one cannot very well do without something solid and sure in the world; and what’s left if you cannot count upon your intercourse with your friends? You may therefore be certain, all three of you, that I shall never play you false unless you wrong me first. The reason is simple. I base it on self-interest, the only rule I know for judging oneself and others intelligently. We live side by side: is it not true that if you discover I am deceiving you, you will deceive me in return at the first opportunity; and I do not want to be deceived: there’s the whole of my logic upon the chapter of friendship. Experience shows that between persons of the same sex the sentiment of friendship is not easy to preserve, and impossible between persons of unlike sex; I value it in so far as it may be founded upon likenesses of humor and compatibilities of taste, which happens only very seldom; but it is a great error to suppose virtue must be its cement; if that were so, friendship would become an unbearably dull sentiment which monotony would soon destroy. When pleasures provide its basis, each new idea gives the attachment an added sinew; need, the sole real aliment of friendship, knits it ever tighter, affection grows with each passing day as with each passing day increases the mutual need of one for the other; you have enjoyment from your friend, you enjoy yourselves together, you enjoy yourself for his sake, each delight fortifies the rest, and ’tis only then one may be said to know them. But what does a virtuous sentiment yield me? A few barren pleasures, a few vapid intellectual gratifications that never survive the first test, except in the form of regrets which are the more poignant where hurt has been done one’s pride, no shafts being more wounding than those which strike there.”

  It was past midnight; we retired, the four of us repairing to a bed eight feet long and eight wide, built for such scenes; and after some lewd ones, some foul ones, we went to sleep. Noirceuil had business awaiting him in the city and left us early the next day; Clairwil remained with me to keep Saint-Fond company, for the Minister was disposed to spend a few more days in the country.

  Upon our return to Paris Saint-Fond brought me his daughter, whose apartment had been put in readiness during our absence. Alexandrine was of an extraordinary and eminently regular beauty; she could boast of a sublime bust, the prettiest details distinguished her form, her skin was glowing clear, her flesh firm, there was grace and ripeness in her limbs, heaven shone in her face, her organ well became the rest, it positively intrigued, and there was considerable of the romantic in her spirit.

  “Here is my daughter,” said Saint-Fond, introducing her to me, “I mean, as you know, to marry her to Noirceuil, who is not the man to be rattled by the liberties I have taken with her and which I still take every day. There’s some fruit left on the tree, however: frontwardly, Alexandrine has treasures still to be assessed. But on the hinder side … her ass, this gorgeous ass, Juliette, has been long the object of my depradations. Who could have resisted such a temptation? Look at it, my angel, and tell me now, have you ever seen anything so inviting in all your life?”

  Rarely indeed had I clapped eyes on a fairer, a better-cleft set of buttocks.

  “And for endurance, for elasticity, and for healing power it is perfectly remarkable,” Saint-Fond went on, opening it wide, “for from the look of it who would believe I lash her every morning at nine and bum-fuck her every night at ten? I confide this girl to you, Juliette, educate her for a while; make her worthy of the gentleman whose wife she shall be, breed in her the taste for all crimes and the liveliest horror for all virtues. To you I cede my rights over her; transmit to her the philosophical systems you have received from him who is to wed her; give her all our penchants, communicate all our passions to her: never has the name of God been pronounced within her hearing, I think I may safely expect it shan’t be in your proximity that religious notions will occur to her. I’d not trifle with her, no, I’d put a bullet in the chit’s brain the instant I detected talk of that execrable chimera coming out of her mouth. For several important reasons neither Noirceuil nor I can personally undertake the task we are entrusting to you; but Alexandrine could not be left in more capable hands.”

  That was the occasion on which the Minister mentioned the news of Noirceuil’s nomination to one of the highest posts at the Court, which fetched with it one hundred thousand crowns a year. “It was given him,” Saint-Fond added, “at the same time the King conferred upon me another worth twice as much.”

  And while vice, impudent vice, sped unerringly from one triumph to the next, fate went just as steadily crushing whomever those mighty rascals deigned to make victims. Such was the situation; I pondered it at length. And all my observations, all my meditations conspired to depress ever lower the view I held of goodness, and to exalt my opinion of evil, again and again confirming me in my choice to dwell fast and secure in the bosom of crime and of infamy…. Ah, my friends, I cannot well communicate to you the loathing I had of virtue.

  I spent the following night with Alexandrine; no question about it, that child was delicious. But I must nonetheless own that I beheld her so philosophically, sobriety to such a degree characterizing my senses, that it is difficult to give an account of the pleasures she yielded me: she roused my emotions scarcely at all. My ideas had gained such a prise upon me, the moral in me so thoroughly overmastered the physical, my indifference was such, my self-possession so unshakable, that whether it was because of surfeit, or depravity, or sheer pigheadedness, I was able to have her naked ten successive hours in my bed, to frig her, to have her frig me, to lick her, to suck her, and all that unremittingly and without a trace of feeling. Here, I dare say, is an outstanding example of the benefits that accrue from stoicism. Steeling our soul against all that may stir it, by means of libertinage inuring it to crime, paring voluptuousness down to a purely carnal affair and stubbornly denying it any element of delicacy, the stoical training enervates the soul; and from this state, wherein its native activity does not permit it to remain long, it passes into one of apathy which soon metamorphoses into pleasures a thousand times diviner than those which frailties could procure it; for the fuck I shed with Alexandrine, though due to this toughness I have sought to represent, got me delights infinitely more trenchant than the ones which would have resulted from excitement or the dreary heats of love.

  At any rate, to my consideration Alexandrine appeared quite as untaught morally as she was physically inexperienced; everything was still to be done for her heart and her mind. The little vixen had a promising disposition, however, and every time I attempted to arouse her I found her full of fuck. I asked her, did her father hurt her when he buggered her?

  “A great deal at first,” she admitted, but she had become so used to it that it no longer caused her suffering.

  Upon my demanding whether she had held conversation with anyone beside the Minister and Noirceuil, she told me Saint-Fond had obliged her to accept the attentions of one other man, and from her description I recognized Delcour. “Attentions,” I repeated; “do you mean by that he embuggered you too?” No, he had whipped her while her father looked on; judge thereby of the imagination of a man whose prick lifts and spits as he watches his daughter being flogged by a public executioner. In the course of our first night together I supplied my pupil all the rudiments of the theory of libertinage; and in three days’ time she was frigging me as adroitly as Clairwil. Be that as it may, this child gradually began to set my teeth on edge; I was already caressing visions of her undoing when I asked Noirceuil his intentions concerning the creature.

  “I shall make a victim of her, needless to say. I’ve never done anything else with a wife.”

  “Then why the delay?
”

  He smiled. “Because of the dowry, because of the child I want to sire on her, or have somebody else sire, because of my desire to preserve the Minister’s protection through this alliance.”

  These were considerations which had not occurred to me; I had to abandon my plans. I simultaneously lost all interest in Alexandrine and, in order not to have to mention her again—I have more important things to talk about—let me say that she married Noirceuil, became pregnant one way or another; and the moral instruction I gave her having penetrated not very far, it was early on in the game that she succumbed to the concerted villainy of her father and husband, perishing during a rout I did not attend because of events whose details I shall enter into shortly.

  The girls whom I furnished to the Minister did not always cost me as much as I retailed them for, and it sometimes even happened that I earned money through their acquisition. I shall cite an instance of this, realizing that it does not. speak in favor of my probity.

  From a personage residing in the provinces I one day receive a letter, telling me that the government owes him half a million francs which he loaned the State during the last war; his affairs have taken a catastrophic turn, for want of the sum aforementioned he has been brought to the worst extremes, he is faced by nothing short of starvation, he and his sixteen-year-old daughter, who, devoted to her as he is, he would marry with a part of the money if he could but recover his due. Knowing of my influence with the Minister he has been obliged to invoke my aid; all pertinent documents accompany his missive. I make inquiry, learn that what he advances is true; obtaining the funds will require intercession from a powerful source, but that they are owing to the claimant is beyond all question. Moreover, the young lady referred to in the letter is, so I am assured, one of the most enchanting creatures in the entire country. Without airing anything of my scheme to the Minister, I ask him for the necessary order for payment. It is delivered to me at once; in twenty-four hours I accomplish what ten years of struggle have failed to get the provincial. As soon as I have the cash in hand, I notify the latter that appropriate steps have been taken; but that his presence is indispensable; that success could only be accelerated by his arrival in the disbursor’s office accompanied by a pretty young thing; in fine, I urge him to bring his daughter to town with him. The simpleton is taken roundly in; he appears at my door and with him, sure enough, he has one of the loveliest girls it has ever been my fortune to see. I lodged them in a place of safety, but did not keep them long in doubt of their fate: they were the principal ornaments at the next of the frolics I arranged each week for Saint-Fond. Already five hundred thousand francs in pocket and thanks to this newest piece of treachery now in the possession of the father and daughter, you will not, I suppose, be hard put to guess what employment I reserved for these spoils. The money, enough to have guaranteed a comfortable future to several families, was squandered by me in less than a week; the daughter, who might surely have made, had fate been kinder, for the felicity of some honest man, instead of that, after having been soiled by our nocturnal pollutions for three days in a row, made a fourth supper victim, her father providing a fifth, both expiring under a torture the more barbarous for being prolonged over twelve hours of hideous suffering.

  To complete this self-portrait, after describing my perfidy I ought to represent my greed to you. With me greed went far: to the point, indeed, of usury. Once finding myself with eight hundred thousand francs worth of objects in pledge, objects which would not, had I auctioned them off, have fetched a fourth of that sum, I declared bankruptcy, and the gesture sufficed to ruin twenty humble families who had deposited into my keeping all they had of value in exchange for a pitiful fugitive subsistence, no more than enough to enable them to pursue the desperate toiling whence they earned practically nothing.

  Eastertide was drawing near, Clairwil reminded me of our appointment at the Carmelites’. There we betook ourselves, Elvire and Charmeil, the two prettiest of my hired sluts, in tow. No sooner were we inside the monastery than the Superior asked for news of Claude. Nothing further had been heard from him since he had left after accepting our invitation. In reply, we wondered whether in the absence of other information it might not be conjectured that, libertine as he decidedly was, he had flung away his frock. No more was said of Claude. We entered a vast hall; and it was there the Superior had us review his legions. Eusebius, so was the head of the establishment called, summoned them forward from ranks one by one; they stepped forth, were taken in charge by my two women who frigged them and displayed their pricks when they were in fullest flower. Anything short of six inches around by nine in length was rejected, so was anything older than fifty. We had been promised only thirty opponents, here in fact were fifty-four friars plus ten novices with engines not one inferior to the dimensions noted above, and certain of them ten by fourteen. The ceremony began.

  It transpired in that same hall. Clairwil and I were bidden to recline upon broad couches, thick-mattressed and elastic, our legs flexed, our loins pillowed on big cushions, totally naked; in this first assault, we gave the cunt for target to the adversary. Our tribades sorted out the pricks according to size and directed them our way, starting with the smaller; from now on all pollution was effected by us, that is to say, we each readied the pair of pricks which were to succeed the ones encunting us at the moment. When a cunt became filled by what had been in a hand, that empty hand was immediately given a new prick to prepare; we each had, at all times, three men either on or by us. After he had completed his attack, a friar would retire from the field and into an adjoining room, there to rest and await further orders. They were all naked, their pricks were all sheathed, and it was into those protectors they all discharged. First they visited Clairwil, then me; and so were we each fucked four and sixty times in the course of this engagement, toward the close of which our women went into the other room and busied themselves preparing the friars for fresh affray. The second attack began…. Another sixty-four fuckings apiece; it was under identical circumstances the third was launched, except that it was directed at our asses and we, instead of frigging pricks manually, constantly had one in our mouths: a prick that had just emerged from our asses we sucked, furbishing it for the fourth attack. Here, we introduced the weaving variation: that is, I sucked the prick which withdrew from Clairwil’s bum and she mouthed the one that came out of mine. When truce was called we had each been fucked one hundred twenty-eight times cuntwardly and as many times in the ass, making two hundred fifty-six fuckings in all. Biscuits and sherry were served, then battle was resumed.

  We took on our men in groups of eight: we had a prick underneath each armpit, one in each hand, one between the bubs, another in the mouth, the seventh in the cunt, the eighth in the bowels. No sheaths now; the object was to lave, bathe our bodies in sperm from head to toe and to have fuck spouting from all sides at once. Each eight-man platoon loosed two volleys, bringing first one of us, then the other, under fire, and the constituents of each changed posts; thus it was we each underwent eight such assaults, and when they were over we declared ourselves satisfied and at our hosts’ disposal; they might do what they wished with either of us and to their hearts’ content. So it was that Clairwil was fucked another fifteen times in the mouth, ten in the cunt, and thirty-nine in the ass; and I forty-six in the ass, eight in the mouth, and ten in the cunt.9 All told, another two hundred fuckings each.

  The sun rose and as it was Easter day, the rascals who had treated us thus marched off to Mass and then marched back; the hour for dinner being not far off, we indicated to the Superior our desire to proceed to the little impieties that had been included in our agreement, before sitting down to the noon meal. Eusebius, who cared for men only, had, during our lubricious antics, confined himself to readying pricks and embuggering a few of his brothers while they were fucking us.

  “Why certainly,” he assured us, “I shall myself celebrate the Holy Mystery in the chapel of the Virgin. Have you any preferences touching how it sho
uld be done?”

  “As follows,” said Clairwil. “A second friar will officiate beside you: these two Masses will be said upon the cunts of our two tribades; while this is going on yet another friar will be mouth-fucking them, this enabling him to present his ass to the celebrant and at the point the Host is consecrated he will drop a mard upon the girl’s belly, and the priest will promptly insert the wafer in the mard; my friend and I shall come forth to seek God therein, we’ll apply fire to some of it, stab it elsewhere with the point of a knife; what remains of the mixture shall be divided into four portions, two of these are to be buried in the asses of the celebrants, rammed home by prodding pricks, and the third and fourth portions will be likewise stored in Juliette’s ass and in mine: four little syringes—we have them here—shall have been got ready in the meantime, and the holy wine shall now be squirted into our fundaments. Next, we two women and the two priests shall be sodomized anew, and to what is already in our asses discharged fuck shall be added. Your prettiest and best crucifixes will be beneath our bellies throughout the operation, and we shall shit thereupon, as well as into your chalices and various sacred vessels, immediately after we have been fucked.”

  All passed in conformance to my friend’s wishes.

  She came away from the rites very satisfied. “Excellent, excellent,” she repeated, “so much silliness, doubtless, and quite useless, but I found it stimulating and that is sufficient justification for anything. Voluptuous delights are no more than what the imagination makes of them; and that which pleaseth best will always be the most delectable: