Clutch (Custom Culture)

  “Crazy Tater Tot, she came here by bus, and she was actually planning to climb back on the bus to go home.”

  I stared down at the foamy mixture of coffee and milk. “Tater Tot, I haven’t heard that nickname in a long time.” My chest felt heavy, not as much from the drugs and the entire =wipeout of a night, but from missing her. She’d climbed silently into bed next to me, and it’d felt completely right. She belonged there. She’d always belonged there. There was no one else. Just Taylor.

  Barrett got up to put his bowl in the sink. “Yeah, she doesn’t really fit the nickname anymore, but old habits die hard. Are you really going in to work today?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got stuff to do. Besides, I feel better if I’m moving around. Once I lay down, it is that much harder to peel my sorry ass out of bed. But you can drive me. Somehow sitting behind the wheel just doesn’t sound fun today.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to get back on the horse?”

  “Not if that horse is going to be trotting through traffic on the L.A. freeways. And my head feels like it’s filled with cotton today.”

  Barrett returned the milk to the refrigerator. “That sounds like the perfect state of mind for sitting in traffic. Well, hurry up then, Grandpa. My boss is a real asshole when I’m late.”

  ***

  Barrett had managed to find every pothole and rough patch in the road and then seemed to take pleasure in hitting the driveway edge extra hard as he pulled in behind the shop. “Christ, is this how you treat my truck every day, or are you just in the mood to torture me?”

  “Hey, this is how you taught me to drive, big brother.”

  I shook my head. “I’m not taking credit for your shitty ass driving.”

  “This coming from the man who left most of his Chevelle on the guardrail last night.” The smirk on his face definitely needed to be wiped off, but I wasn’t in the mood.

  “Technically, that was your fault too.” I glanced down at my phone for the hundredth time since we’d left the house. The summer before, I could count on her texting me or calling me at least three times a day. And, even though I’d acted annoyed, I hadn’t been. It was stupid, but I was sure she would text me just to see how I was feeling.

  “You must be expecting a very important call.”

  “Yep, and that’s why I’m the boss. I get important calls.” After sitting in the car for half an hour, climbing out hurt every muscle in my body.

  “Or maybe you were just expecting a text from a certain long legged, sweet smelling girl.”

  I glanced over the top of the truck at him. “Shit, Rett, do I really need this crap today?”

  “You’re right. Sorry about that. I’m going inside to finish cleaning those parts. I’ll let Scottie know that you’ll be inside in—” He looked across the asphalt to the back door of the shop and then back at me. “In about twenty minutes.” Once again pleased with his own humor, he laughed and headed to the door.

  Scotlyn looked up from the computer. “Clutch!” She slid out from behind the counter and I noticed the tears just before she threw her arms around me. “Thank God you’re all right.”

  I hugged her back. She was trembling slightly. “Hey, Scottie, I’m fine. Just a little sore. Sorry for giving you such a scare.”

  She lifted her face. “Don’t do it again.”

  “Considering I had to put down my best horse, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

  She wiped a tear off her cheek with her thumb. “Your horse is in the garage, and after seeing it, I’m glad I wasn’t there last night.” She stepped back and looked at me. “I can’t believe you’re not hurt more.”

  “Just a badly swollen knee. Not sure what I hit it on, but that’s my main complaint. I guess it helps to be built like a Viking.”

  She smiled weakly and patted my arm. “It’s like having your own muscular suit of armor. Now go sit in your office and put that leg up. You shouldn’t be standing on that knee. Jason isn’t here yet, but I’m sure he can do deliveries today. I sent you some emails for part requests.”

  “I owe Jason one. He came in last night and opened up the shop for the tow truck.” I limped to the office and fell into my chair. I was hopeful that Jason had had no clue about Taylor being at the race or with me after the race.

  Scotlyn came in and slid the extra chair across the room and patted the seat cushion. “Put your leg up here, and I’ll get you some coffee.”

  She left the office. The back door opened and slammed shut.

  “I saw Barrett’s truck out back,” Jason’s angry voice filled the front room. “Where is he?”

  “He’s out cleaning parts,” Scotlyn answered hesitantly, assuring me that I hadn’t misheard the rage in Jason’s tone.

  His footsteps pounded the tile floor of the shop, and I heard the door to the parts room creak as it swung open. “You fucking little weasel,” Jason yelled.

  I shot out of my chair, temporarily forgetting that everything hurt. I remembered the second my foot slammed on the ground. I grabbed my knee to stop the pulsating pain and then limped to the back room.

  Barrett was standing looking completely shell shocked but with his fists ready for defense.

  “You fucking loser. I let you work in my shop, and you hook my sister up with one of those lowlife, drugged-out friends of yours?” Jason stepped toward him.

  “It’s our shop,” I said.

  Jason swung around and his eyes popped open. “Clutch, I didn’t think you were here.”

  “The way you just spoke to my brother, that’s pretty fucking obvious.”

  He fell silent.

  “What the hell, Jason? Have you lost your goddamned mind?” I asked.

  My comment seemed to kick him back into offense mode. “This loser fixed Taylor up with—”

  Apparently anger was a far better pain killer than opiates. I was in front of him before he could blink and my proximity shut him up fast. “Jason,” I said between clenched teeth, and my tone drained the blood from his face. “We have been friends a long time, but if you call my brother a loser again, or anything else for that matter, I will knock you through that back wall.”

  He stretched up taller, something he always did when he was pissed at me. His head still barely reached my shoulder. “I’m just looking out for my little sister, just like you’re looking out for him.”

  “Yeah, I get that, but your sister makes her own decisions. You should stop trying to control her.” It was the first time I’d defended Taylor to her brother, and it made me realize what an asshole I’d been. I’d always been on his side and from the look on his face he was just as shocked as I was.

  “I think you should mind your own damn business.” He slid past me but then stopped. “And you stay the fuck away from her too. My parents are thinking of sending her off again, and it will be his fault.” He pointed at Barrett and then spun back to face me. “And yours.”

  “Really?” He was not going to pull a cowardly retreat after that. “Because I think it’s your parent’s fault. And you’re just as much to blame as them.”

  Jason’s shoulders stiffened and he stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. He was pissed but so was I. We’d argued plenty of times, but this was different. We were causing irreparable damage to our friendship and partnership.

  “You selfish asshole, you have only one stake in this fight. You want my sister. Well, you’re not going to have her. My parents will send her out of the fucking country if they have to.”

  “You are just your parent’s whipping boy. And your girlfriend’s too. And thanks for letting me know how you and your parents really feel about me. Funny that I’m good enough to be your business partner. Or is that just because I know how to make money?”

  His mouth twisted as he seemed to consider his next words carefully. Shit had already hit the fan and sprayed the entire room.
I doubted there was much more he could say to make things worse.

  “My parents want better for Taylor. Let’s just say they were hoping for someone from a better side of the tracks.”

  I’d been wrong. There was more shit to fling, and this was the worst crap of all.

  Jason fidgeted as I stared down at him. For a second, it actually looked as if he wished he could suck the words back in, but it was way too late for that.

  “Not that I give a fuck but good to know their opinion of me, Partner. All I know is that if ignorant people like your parents come from the better side of the tracks, then I’m glad to be from the other side.”

  With nothing else to say, he left the room. I turned back to Barrett, who still looked as stunned as a kid who’d stuck a paperclip in an electric socket.

  I ran my hair back with my fingers and sighed as I glanced around at the piles of parts. Jason and I had started an awesome business together and it had already made way more money than either of us had expected, but this partnership grew more and more tenuous each day. Even so, it wasn’t the business that weighed heavily on my chest. It was the girl.

  Chapter 18

  Taylor

  Four seagulls were perched on the white marina fence staring hungrily through the windshield as Scotlyn parked the car. She laughed. “I think they know we have food.”

  We climbed out of the car, instinctively tucking our bucket of chicken and box of cookies beneath our coats for protection. An energetic coastal breeze had pushed the fog off the shore, and a full moon hovered low in the early night sky. “This was a great idea, Scottie. I’m really glad you invited me out here for dinner.”

  “Actually, I tried to call you last week, but you’ve been hard to reach. I know you were out at the races last Saturday when Clutch crashed, and I figured you had a pretty good scare. I’m so glad I wasn’t there. Those races are terrifying to me.”

  “I can tell you that after last week’s race, they are terrifying to me too. Sorry you couldn’t reach me. I got home late that night and was sure my parents would lock me in my room for a year. Nothing happened that night, but I went to bed with that creeping feeling you get when you’re sure something wicked is about to happen. I woke up the next morning and they’d taken away my phone and computer.”

  Scotlyn gasped. “You mean you had to go cold turkey without technology.”

  We reached the dock. The temperature dropped, and I held the chicken bucket tightly for warmth. “Yep. I told them they might was well lock me in a padded cell because I was going to be bouncing off the walls without my phone. They weren’t amused. They are truly a lovely pair. . . and so rational with all their decisions. I wasn’t supposed to go anywhere except school and home, but I reminded them that even though they took my electronics, they hadn’t taken my feet. So, off I went. It was pretty darn funny because I could stay out late and my mom couldn’t call to check up on me. It was driving her crazy, and I knew she badly wanted to give me the phone back.”

  Scotlyn shook her head with amusement. She pulled two cookies out of the box and handed me one. “I personally know the world would be an altogether better place if dessert came before every meal.”

  I bit the cookie. “I’ve been trying to convince my mom of that for years.”

  The breeze grew stronger as we got farther out over the water. Small navy blue waves splashed up against the hulls of the anchored boats. “How did you get your phone back?”

  I smiled to myself. “It was all rather diabolical on my part, but I had been without technology for a week. Unless, of course, you count the primitive computers in the school lab where any site that is worth visiting has been blocked. I was eating breakfast before school on Friday, and I told my mom that the day before a freshman girl had been standing at the bus stop and some scary looking guy had jumped out of a van and tried to grab her. I told her she got away and quickly called the police on her cell phone.” I finished the cookie and wiped the crumbs off my coat. “I could see the wheels of terror spinning and the reels of murderous scenarios turning in her head the whole time that I was reciting my completely bullshit story.” My chuckle had an edge of guilt. “I picked up my backpack and kissed her on the cheek. She was behind me with my phone before I could take one step outside.”

  Scotlyn smiled over at me. “You’re right, diabolical but probably necessary for her to come to her senses.”

  The Zany Lucy bobbed up and down and side to side in the rambunctious tide. We stepped on board. There was a ‘for sale’ sign in the kitchen window. “What? You guys are selling the Lucy?”

  “I’m afraid so,” Scotlyn said as she unlocked the cabin door. “She just needs too much work, and we don’t have enough money for the upkeep.”

  We stepped inside and immediately I felt a bit queasy from the close surroundings and movement beneath my feet. “Can we eat outside? I think that cookie might make a reappearance if I stay in here too long.”

  “I’ll grab some blankets. See, living on a boat does have some pitfalls,” she said as she ducked into the bedroom. She reemerged with an armful of blankets. “I mean it can be lovely and incredibly romantic when all the elements are cooperating. But that is rare. The ocean has a mind of its own.”

  I took hold of one of the blankets. “Gus has told me some really scary stories about his time out on the Bering Sea.”

  Scotlyn was good at not verbally passing judgment, but her facial expressions always let you know what she was thinking.

  “I’m not really seeing him,” I said quickly. “He just picked me up a few times this week from school and we hung out.” I had never gotten up the courage to say anything to Gus. I figured he was leaving soon and that would be the end of it.

  We tucked ourselves onto the cushioned bench at the bow. We pulled the blankets over our shoulders and huddled for warmth. The deck rose and fell beneath our bottoms.

  Scotlyn opened the chicken bucket. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Yeah, it’s always better out here in the open.” I took a bite. “I’ve only heard little pieces of information about Clutch. How is he feeling?” I’d been dying to ask her about him all afternoon, but I hadn’t wanted to seem overanxious. I’d acted silly as a desperate school girl for a long time, and I was determined to prove to everyone that I’d grown up. Of course, I still allowed myself the goofy pleasure of doodling his name all over my school notebooks. But no one else had to see that. And my doodles had definitely intensified since the night he’d called me. Even though it was obvious that he’d only called me because he was high and his words had been the drugs talking, I’d allowed myself the delusion of thinking that he’d meant them.

  Scotlyn picked out a piece of chicken. “He’s fine. He has still been limping some and he has been pressing his arm against his ribs as if they pain him a lot, but I think he’s been much more distraught about losing that car.” Salty moisture drifted up off the water and we both shivered. Scotlyn tugged the corners of the blanket shut under her chin. “You know, I think he tried to reach you a few times, but just like me, he didn’t know that your phone had been taken.”

  I looked up from my drumstick. “Really?” I had to force back the excitement in my tone. “I’m sure that my brother knew that my phone was gone. He and my parents spend a great deal of their waking hours discussing all the things I’ve done wrong. It would have been nice for him to have let other people know I didn’t have a phone.” I dropped the chicken bone into my napkin and leaned against the back of the bench. “I guess he would never have mentioned it to Clutch since I’m not supposed to be talking to him.”

  Scotlyn reached for another piece of chicken and then decided not to take one. It seemed as if she had something she wanted to say, something that was distressing her, but she had a tendency to fall quiet when something upset her. She leaned back next to me and stared up at the sky.

  I turned my head an
d looked at her. “There’s something you haven’t told me.” Not that I was sure I wanted to hear it, but her sudden silence made me curious.

  She pulled her blanket tighter and wriggled uncomfortably for a second. “Your brother and Clutch aren’t talking at the moment.”

  I sat forward. “Really? I had no idea. Jeez, the crap that goes on when you have no connection to the world. What happened?”

  Scotlyn stared down at her hands and twisted the corners of the blanket between her fingers. When other people fell silent it was just quiet, but when Scotlyn fell silent a huge amount of energy sucked in behind the quiet. But she really didn’t need to say another word.

  I leaned back and huddled beneath my blanket. The full moon reflected an amazing amount of light out over the water. “It was about me.”

  She didn’t answer, which solidified my assumption.

  “That’s just great.” I lunged forward and snatched up the box of cookies.

  Scotlyn reached in the box for a cookie. “Look on the bright side. You’ve got so many people that love you, they’re all fighting over you.”

  Scotlyn had no family except the one person who adored her enough for a whole family’s worth of love and that was Nix. And, stupidly, I sort of envied her lack of ties to the world. Less hassle all around. “Yeah, I’m the lucky one all right.”

  The deck of the boat rose and fell, and my stomach dropped as if I was standing in an elevator. “I can see where the unsteady tide might make life aboard a little unsettling.”

  “See. I think I’m looking forward to a house with a foundation beneath it. Then the only thing I have to worry about is earthquakes.” Scotlyn nibbled her cookie. “So, what are you planning to do once you graduate?”

  The question had gone through my head hundreds of times, and I still hadn’t come up with a coherent answer. Sort of like the rest of my life, it was muddled. “In my perfect future, I’m studying fashion design, but I’m sure my vision of utopia is far different from my parent’s vision. I won’t have the grades for a four year college. I have only myself to blame for that though. Of course, if I reached for it, I could probably find some hidden repressed memory of something lame my parents did that caused my lack of ambition at school.”