Victor Victorious

  *CHAPTER II*

  I now knew that there was something mysterious about my parentage--theinterview with my mother had at least settled that point--but all thecertainty in the world could not prevent my mind continually turning toit, and this had rather a curious effect upon me: it made me quitehumble-minded. I do not mean to imply that my normal state wasbumptious beyond the ordinary, but it had a chastening effect upon mymind. I disliked the thought of the unknown. I desired to have afather whom I could speak of without any kind of doubt. As it was, Ifound it necessary, upon several occasions, to slur over any allusionsto him, and schoolboys are not always tactful in their dealings withreticence. However, the fact that he had been a soldier generallyproved sufficient to satisfy the curiosity of the inquirer.

  Another thing which annoyed, or rather chafed me was the length of timethat must necessarily elapse before I could know, for I had no doubtthat it would not be until I came of age.

  My disturbed state of mind did not prevent me enjoying my lifeimmensely; and at eighteen I found myself in a very enviable position inthe school, and one which I believe was a record in its way, for I wascaptain of the school, and also captain of the cricket eleven. I maysay that the latter was by far the more important post in my eyes, andcertainly much the nicer.

  I take no credit for being the best boxer and fencer in the school, forI had done both since very early childhood, and had had most excellentinstructors.

  It was a great shock to me to learn that I was to leave school, itseemed to be the most complete upheaval I had ever experienced. I hatedthe idea, it caused me an infinite amount of real trouble to get myselfinto the proper frame of mind to behave decently about it. Yet, had Ithought, I might have recalled numerous hints that I had received frommy people, and which would have prepared me better; presumably I hadbeen so engrossed in my own little affairs that I had not paid too muchattention.

  I shall never forget the last day of that term, I felt as though I wasgoing to execution, and absolutely beastly; had I been a girl I shouldhave cried my eyes out. With the eyes of my world upon me, however, Ihad to make a brave show, and say good-bye to every one and everything;and lastly I had to have an interview with the head-master. I had,naturally, had much to do with him as captain of the school, and we werevery good friends.

  He was a short, thickset man with a great white beard, who bore atremendous reputation for severity among the boys; but those among themwho got to know him found a warm-hearted, kindly, genial man. Afterspeaking with me for some time he said good-bye, adding a few wordswhich I shall never forget.

  "My boy," he said, "I have this to say to you: no matter where you are,or what befalls you, remember that over us all, king or peasant, thereis God. Turn to Him in your troubles, thank Him for your joys. That youwill do your duty through life, I feel assured, however hard it may be,however irksome. The love you have inspired in your comrades will, Ihope, be inspired by you in the world; I, and others, will pray for youin the future. May God keep you in his sight."

  I could not help wondering, as I left his study, why such emphasis hadbeen laid upon my future. What did it portend, did the head-master knowanything of which I was ignorant perhaps, for since my interview with mymother two years before, I had made no further inquiries.

  When I was home again, I found that they were beginning to treat me as aman; and for three months or more I spent my time in sport. By which Ido not mean killing things, that was a pursuit I never really cared for.

  Towards the end of this time Carruthers paid me a visit from Sandhurst,into which he had passed a year or so before I left school; after hisvisit I began to wonder what I should do with my life. His stories ofthe great military college had fired me with a desire for the army.

  It was after dinner some three nights following his departure that Ibroached the subject of my future.

  "I wish to know what vocation you think I am suited for?"

  I spoke collectively. My mother gave a little start, looked quickly atmy stepfather, gave a little sigh, and remained silent.

  My stepfather smiled a trifle grimly, he too did not speak. Mr.Neville, however, answered me.

  "What do you yourself feel inclined for?" he asked.

  "I hardly know. You see, I have never thought much about it untillately; but it seems to me, that now I have left school, I ought to dosomething to be independent."

  "There is no need of that, Victor," said my stepfather. "Would you notbe content to stay here, and wait for a little?"

  "If I did, it would prevent my going to Sandhurst."

  "Aha! that was in your mind then. I rather suspected it. Rupert'sreports, eh?"

  "Yes," I said. "It seems a nice life, and I might do well as a soldier;what do you think?"

  My mother leaned forward.

  "Victor, do not set your heart upon it, I think that it will beimpossible."

  "Oh, am I also to know the reason for that, some day?"

  "Yes," she answered, "that goes with the rest."

  "Well, I shall be very pleased when that day comes."

  "Ah!" said Mr. Neville. "I wonder."

  We sat silent for a while, and then I said again:

  "What am I to do? You know, I am completely in the dark abouteverything. I have been supplied with money, it is true, but is itmine, or is it yours, mother? These things ought, I think, to beexplained to me. Shall I have some day to work for a living, or do Iinherit anything when I come of age, because I feel that, in the lattercase, I can take a course that will be totally different to what itwould be supposing I had to earn bread and cheese."

  My stepfather had risen and was walking up and down the room.

  "I quite see your point, my boy," he said, "and I think that you are ofan age to understand me, when I say that you will never want in thefuture: you will inherit a certain sum on coming of age, which will beenough to keep you handsomely in any ordinary way. When I die, you willhave everything of mine, and I trust you will then be in a position tomake good use of it. That, I hope, is sufficient to say about financialmatters; about your career, it is more difficult. If I were you, thisis what I should do: I should ask Mr. Neville to come with me and shouldthen take a continental tour. See everything, meet everybody, acquire aknowledge of mankind, virtues, and vices. Spend money when you thinkgood may come of it; read and digest history as you go, also nationallaw, and natural law; gain as much knowledge as you can of affairsmilitary; study arms and armaments, from cutlasses to cannon. Yourcadet corps has given you a capital foundation to work on. Then in twoyears return to us. That is my advice, and I know your mother willagree."

  "Yes," said my mother a trifle sadly, "I agree."

  "But could you not give me some idea, so that I may study for my futureas well as all those things you mention?"

  "I believe that if you study those things, Victor, they will be ofimmense importance to you in what I hope will be your career. You maytrust your mother and myself to give you the best advice we can."

  "Of course I do," I said, "but it is puzzling, isn't it?"

  "Yes, it is, but this you may count on: you shall know everything youwish when you come of age," said my mother.

  "Thank you, mother." I turned to my old tutor. "Mr. Neville, will youcome with me?"

  "I will," he said. "It will be a pleasure for me to renew myacquaintanceship with the continent."

  "Then let us go; and, for my part, the sooner the better, for the timewill pass more quickly."

  "Don't forget the old advice to 'hasten slowly,'" my stepfatherremarked.

  "To-morrow," said my mother, rising, "we will plan out your tour."

  I went to bed that night with fresh fields of thought open to me. I wasnow to see all those places of which I had read and heard; I was tostudy everything. The thought flashed through my brain, that from thisadvice I ought to be able to glean something of my parents' views for myfuture, which I immediately tried to do, but without any sa
tisfactoryresult. I wondered whether they wished me to enter the diplomaticservice; but, if that were so, why be mysterious about it? It was aperfectly feasible career to anyone like myself. I was pleased withthis idea, and indulged in a little fanciful dreaming, seeing myself asan ambassador, carrying through some skilful piece of diplomacy withgreat success. I believe that this was still in my mind when I fellasleep.

  The next week passed in a whirl of preparations. It was decided that weshould go first to Paris, and then roam wherever we willed, to St.Petersburg or Rome, to Egypt or Iceland.

  For the first time that I can remember, my stepfather spoke to me ofmoney.

  "Victor," he said, "it is necessary that you should acquire a knowledgeof the value of money; I don't mean of pennies being saved to makepounds, but I wish you to get used to the handling of large sums, toappreciate what such sums can buy. It is an extremely difficult thingto discover the best method of learning this; I believe there is nocertain way, it depends so much on the individual. I don't fancy thatyou have ever been in debt or money difficulties, have you?"

  "Never, you gave me such a ripping allowance, I never spent it all."

  "Didn't you? All the better, it proves that you are not thoughtlesslyextravagant; but I don't wish you to be too careful either. I want youto be so used to handling and spending money that, if, in the future,the occasion arises where it is wise to spend a big sum, you will do itwithout hesitation; for delay often spells ruin. Now don't forget, Iwant you to spend money, as much as you like, ten, thirty, fiftythousand pounds, if you wish; and, my boy, I will confide in you thismuch, if you spent twice that sum, I shouldn't feel it."

  "You must be jolly rich then," I said, although I only vaguely realisedthe position.

  My stepfather smiled.

  "I am, but I don't wish people to know it."

  I have often wondered what other young men of my age would have feltunder similar conditions.

  To be invited to spend as much money as they liked, to have it made apoint almost of favour that they should do so.

  I suppose their thoughts would have run wild on all kinds of imaginarydelights, and pastimes; as for me, I hardly felt even a passing thrillat the prospect. I had always been lavishly supplied with money, andstrangely enough had no expensive tastes or habits; I needed very littleto make me happy. As it was, I gave my word to spend whenever I could.But I could not help laughing as I did so, it seemed so funny.

  "Possibly I may have this explained when I come of age," I remarked.

  My stepfather laughed.

  "Yes, I think so, Victor."

  * * * * *

  I do not intend to give an account of our tour, the places we went tocan be read of in Baedeker, or other guide books, that is, for the mostpart. We did go to some small places out of the regular beat, butnothing extraordinary happened.

  We visited France, Germany, Italy, Russia, during the first two years,generally making Paris our head-quarters.

  I followed strictly my stepfather's advice, studying everything andeverybody. In those two years I must have shed at least seven skins ofignorance, and acquired seven others of knowledge, and, with theknowledge, understanding.

  Naturally, Mr. Neville being with me aided me enormously; without him, Ishould no doubt have profited far less. He it was to whom I turnedcontinually for guidance and explanation. When I say guidance, I meanmentally, as in all decisions of a physical nature I was made to decidemyself.

  In each country, as we visited it, he pointed out in his lucid way thechief points of government, and many were the discussions we had overthe selection of the finest.

  At first, I remember, I was inclined to favour theories, but before hissearching dissection they very soon crumbled away.

  We had many letters of introduction to notable people, wherever we went;and these enabled us to obtain a grasp of the real life of all classes,for we invariably found some one who could and did act as guide.

  Sometimes we would go for a walking tour lasting a month or six weeks,sometimes we would motor through a great tract of country, barelystopping a day in any one place.

  We met many people, young and old, men and women, and as my mindexpanded I seemed to read their characters, recognising their virtuesand their vices, carefully stowing the results of my investigations awayin the recesses of my brain. I was repeatedly told that I was handsome,sometimes subtly, more often quite openly. This was news that failed tointerest me.

  Women with languorous glances, or carefully dropped eyelids, had littlefascination for me; and so I passed through, unscathed, what would havebeen irresistible temptations to many.

  Perhaps I was cold by temperament, or perhaps my upbringing had taughtme to avoid such pleasures, or, again, perhaps I was simply waiting forlove to come to me.

  Now although, as I say, I evaded these things, I take no credit tomyself; they were not for me, that was all.

  I did not quite understand myself then, and I find it hard even now tosay what prompted me to keep sexually clean. I in no way avoidedopportunities, as in my desire for knowledge I would often with someacquaintance or friend visit the haunts of the _demi-monde_ andunderworld; I do not say it was necessary to seek such opportunities.The society we naturally consorted with differed strangely little inessentials.

  I have seen a man, head of a noble family, deliberately cheat at cards;and I have experienced the disagreeable duty of refusing the amorousadvances of more than one _grande dame_.

  I, personally, find much blame for the man, and very little condemnationfor the woman, for the craving of sex must be the most difficult of allto fight, and conquer.

  As I have said, we studied four great nations in two years,superficially, of course; but the knowledge we gained was good. Onesubject in particular I had given my whole attention to, wheneverpossible: war, chiefly in the way of preparation for attack or defence.

  It was extremely interesting to me to discuss with Mr. Neville, or witha soldier if possible, the defences of any place.

  Of course, as outsiders, we were never allowed to inspect any of thefortified places of Europe, but we would discuss them nevertheless, andI was always trying to find the best plan of defence for these places.The military portion of the friends we made seemed much amused with me;I don't know why, unless it was my eagerness. All the same they enteredinto the fun of "drawing a civilian," and bantered me unmercifully,which I know was excellent for me.

  I remember once, when motoring through France, entering into a heateddiscussion with a celebrated French General; I refuse to allow for onemoment that I wanted to lay down the law, although Mr. Neville didsuggest it afterwards. This General, no doubt immensely amused by me,pulled out a map of the district through which we were travelling.

  "Now," he said, "supposing you had a force of so many men, with so manyguns, here," he jabbed with his finger, "and the enemy were here andhere, with so many men and guns, what would you do?"

  This was a game I had often played, and I looked eagerly at themap--there and there the enemy; my forces here. It was impossible to doanything except surrender. I looked again.

  "Where were my forces before they arrived in that position, in whichdirection were they travelling, and with what object?"

  "Well, suppose they were moving from A to try to get to B here."

  Again I studied the map, the position was plain to read; had myreconnaissance been carried out properly--and I should not have advancedwithout--I could never have been in that position, rather should I havebranched off here, and so opened up a splendid line for either advanceor retreat. I looked up at the General, he was just winking at anotherofficer who was with us; that settled it, just that wink, I knew thenthat he was "drawing me again." I smiled grimly.

  "General, if ever you allowed your forces to get into such a positionyou ought to be shot."

  For a moment he looked at me, and then burst out laughing.

  "_Mon Dieu!_ but he is right, thi
s young civilian, but name of a littledog! how did he know? I ought to be shot, I ought to be shot. Ha HaHa!" he roared with laughter.

  I was appallingly conceited inside, but made little of it outwardly.The General, however, repeated the story so often, that I lost myconceit, and was rather sorry I had been so clever.

  Whether it was my enthusiasm, my youth, or the novelty of everything, Idon't know, but I enjoyed every minute of my time. Physically I hadnever been so fit; I took an enormous amount of exercise, walking,riding, boxing with Mr. Neville and others, though chiefly with mycompanion, who although not my equal in science, and a middle-aged man,yet gave me a lot to do. In each capital, I always went to the greatestmasters and studied with the rapier and sabre; I also kept up myshooting.

  I think I stopped growing in height about then--just an inch under sixfeet--but I still continued to expand in width. Illness had mercifullypassed me by.

  We had been in Paris about three weeks, and were beginning to think ofmoving on again, somewhere, I for one did not care where, because everyplace was splendid; I was not the least tired of travel, neither borednor blase. It was Mr. Neville who suggested Rudarlia.

  We had spent the day at Versailles, a place which I never felt tired ofseeing or talking about, and that evening we were idling over ourdinner, when my companion said:

  "And where to next, Victor?"

  "I don't know," I answered with a little start, for he had read mythoughts exactly. "Where do you suggest?"

  "There is Rudarlia."

  I had thought of this many times, but had always deferred suggesting it.I imagined that it would be perhaps better to leave this visit untilafter I came of age and received the long-promised informationconcerning many things; also I wished to view my own country, for thefirst time, with a practised eye and balanced judgment. I knew fromreading and conversation that Rudarlia was not in a flourishingcondition, and I did not want to be badly prejudiced by immatureimpressions. Now, however, Mr. Neville had suggested the visit, whichmade a great difference.

  "That requires thought," I said.

  "Naturally; I only proposed it in order to discuss it with you."

  "Well, what do you think, knowing how I feel on the subject, would yousay my mind was formed enough?"

  He looked at me affectionately.

  "My boy, the last part of your question I can answer at once in theaffirmative. You know, I never pay you compliments, so you can believeme when I say that, in my opinion, your views on most subjects are worthlistening to, and your grasp of life is astonishing to me. As to yourwishing to defer your visit, the same idea had struck me. Your motherhas never even hinted at any wish of hers in the matter, so, to makesure of their views at home, I wired to them. Their answer came to-day,it was this: 'If he feels inclined.'"

  "If I only knew," I murmured. "It makes it very difficult, but Isuppose, as usual, I must decide. Don't you think that a great deal isleft to me?"

  "Yes."

  "And you agree with that course of procedure?"

  "Entirely."

  "Yet I should so like to have things taken out of my hands sometimes, itwould be ripping to feel, now and again, no sense of being in charge, soto speak, of one's own life; it is rather overpowering to know thateverything depends on whether one says yes or no."

  "And yet, my boy, there are many in the world, with largerresponsibilities than yours are at present; think, for instance, of agreat employer of labour who has to decide great things, affecting,perhaps, the welfare of both his employes and his business. Think ofanyone in power, saying whether it shall be peace or war."

  "But they have assistance in making up their minds."

  "Certainly; it is there that we want you to differ from them, we wishyou in all things to be able to decide for yourself; to know how tograsp the pros and cons, to weigh them one against the other, and give adecision."

  "But will that be of use to me, should I enter diplomacy?"

  "You can only wait and see."

  "Not much longer, thank Heaven!"

  "Ah!" said Mr. Neville.

  We drank our coffee before speaking again, then I said:

  "We will go."

  "Good! you have decided as I expected you to. We must arrange manythings first, however."

  "What kind of things?"

  "Well, do you intend going as a Rudarlian, or as an Englishman?"

  "I have been English everywhere, so far, and for this visit will remainso, unless I change my mind when there."

  "Which way do you want to go?"

  I thought a little while, and then said:

  "I should like to enter the country on foot and walk to the capital; itis a whim, I know, so if you don't feel inclined please say so."

  "It is a first-rate plan, I think, and will be most enjoyable. Anyway,Karena is not far distant from the northern frontier."

  "It will be hard going, from what I can gather, but it ought to be worthwhile."

  "When shall we start?"

  "Oh," I said, looking at my engagement book, "would a week from to-daysuit you?"

  "Perfectly, it will give us time to work out details."

  Once the matter was settled definitely, I began to indulge in a littlewild speculation. I was, naturally perhaps, excited at the idea ofseeing my own country, hearing my own tongue spoken every day and allday, by my own countrymen and women.

  The week fairly flew past. I had written to my mother informing her ofour proposed trip, and received an answer back bidding me God-speed, andalso advising me on no account to seek to find out anything about myfather. It was pointed out to me that I had only a few months to waitand any premature disclosures might do much damage.

  This, of course, was so much double Dutch to me, and only added to themysteriousness of everything. I therefore refused to think about it, butI also resolved to abide by her wish. The letter finished by expressingsatisfaction at the idea that I was to travel as an Englishman.