Shamless

  Somehow, Cam managed to completely dodge his friends back at his own unit. Thank God. The last thing he needed was for those two to see him amble back in this morning wearing the same damn clothes he’d worn out last night with Meredith. He could’ve come up with something, he supposed, but at this point, he didn’t want to lie. Nor did he want to admit to anything quite yet. So the welcome silence that greeted him was a godsend.

  He changed and went for a run on the beach; it was later than he liked and he’d eaten a little too much, so he took it easier than usual. He’d gotten enough of a workout last night and this morning, anyway.

  There wasn’t anything that could chisel the smile off his face today. This had definitely been the best vacation ever.

  Marla and Dane were back when he arrived back at the condo after his run. Amazingly, they asked not one damn question about Meredith. That’s how unassuming her brother was where Cam was concerned, and it made him feel like a creep again when those feelings had been somewhat dissipating. Dammit.

  “Lunch!” Marla announced close to noon, when he was still full from breakfast this morning. “I think we should all go. We came here together and we’ve all been spending more time apart than together.”

  Well, some of us haven’t, Cam thought, hiding a grin behind his water bottle before guzzling it.

  “I’ll call the girls and see what they’re up to,” Dane said, grabbing his phone from the coffee table.

  This should be interesting, facing her under the watchful eyes of others, but he was sure they could pull it off. It would be fun, even. He jumped in the shower yet again and changed, looking forward to sharing secret little smiles and maybe playing footsie under the table with Meredith.

  Chapter Nine

  Meredith wanted to faint when Marla chose the exact same beachside seafood place where she and Cam had eaten the night before. She chose lighter fare this time: a lunch portion of coconut shrimp, but just remembering seeing him across from her all lit up in the sunset glow was turning her on. He was across from her now, but shaded by the roof from the noontime sun, his gaze frequently catching hers as the wind tossed his black hair. She wanted to sing with excitement.

  “What are you grinning at?” Dane asked her at last. It probably had been a mistake sitting across from her brother. Until now, they’d all been caught up in jovial conversation. Now all eyes were on her. Cameron especially seemed to go still.

  “Nothing,” she said, spearing a shrimp and dipping it in sauce.

  “I’m glad you seem to be feeling better,” Dane said. “You were in a funk yesterday, I could tell.”

  “Maybe I needed a day to myself. God, I can’t be a social butterfly all the time.”

  “You? Yes, you can. Sorry you got stuck hanging around with him, though.” He jerked a thumb at Cameron. Cameron returned a gesture, but not with his thumb.

  “We had a good time,” Meri said simply.

  “In fact, you’re exceptionally happy. Heyyy, now. What happened?” Dane cocked an eyebrow at her and Cameron in turn. Holy shit, he was onto something and didn’t know it. He was joking about it, and it was absolutely true.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Meri said with a laugh. “Can’t I just be exceptionally happy?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe she met someone,” Alyssa said innocently. Meri wanted to smack her, but managed to restrain herself and rolled her eyes instead.

  “She wouldn’t be the only one.” Marla, who sat next to Cam with Dane on her other side, nudged Cam with her elbow. His head snapped up and he looked at her with something akin to horror.

  Meredith’s heart leaped into her throat.

  “Oh yeah.” Dane gestured toward Cam with his drink. “You guys should have seen the hot little number storming out on him yesterday morning.”

  Dane and Marla seemed oblivious to the three people bristling around them. Cam looked ready to leap across the table and smash Dane’s face into his plate. Alyssa looked at Meredith with a helpless Oh, shit expression. Meri, of course, knew all about the girl, so this wasn’t the shocker Cam thought it was for her, only Cam didn’t know that. She didn’t want Cam to know that. So how the hell should she play this?

  “That was…” He trailed off, looking hopelessly at Meri.

  “That was what?” Dane said merrily. “That was a walk of shame if I ever saw one.”

  The memory alone was enough to hurt. Cam would see that on her face. But she didn’t want him to beat himself up about it, not anymore. Still, they couldn’t get into this here. She cast her own gaze down at her plate, her appetite dying a bloody death.

  “Fuck, Dane.” Cam got up and left the table, shoving his chair in with a clatter.

  Dane watched his retreating figure with his mouth half hanging open. “What the hell did I do?” he asked his girlfriend.

  “That was weird,” Marla said.

  Meredith couldn’t sit and pretend. She was so done with that. She jumped up and followed Cam outside, saying silent apologies to poor Alyssa, who would have to try to feign ignorance as to why everyone was running away. It couldn’t be helped.

  Cameron was stalking around the parking lot like a caged animal when she found him. Meredith intercepted him, something inside her overjoyed that at least he cared this much. “I’m so sorry,” he said in a rush when she touched his arm. “I met some girl at the bar I was at a couple of nights ago, and brought her back with me. It meant nothing. I don’t even remember her name. I swear to God, I know how that sounds, but I didn’t have one fucking clue about how you felt or I never would have done it. Ever. I promise you that. Dane and Marla saw her leaving—I didn’t even want them to know about it. It was just…so fucking stupid.”

  She could tell him it was okay, he was forgiven. They could walk back in the restaurant and carry on. It would even be a good opportunity to come clean to her brother. She didn’t have to share her dirty little secret; she could keep it forever. But Cam…he’d had a spotlight shined on his in front of everyone. It was only fair she did too. She couldn’t leave him out there alone, and she couldn’t stand the devastation on his face, in his eyes, as if he thought she would turn away from him now.

  “I know,” she told him.

  His expression fell… or rather, it plummeted, cracked and shattered as awful realization dawned there. She knew right away that he had had his suspicions of her knowing about his tryst.

  “I heard you,” she went on, so he wouldn’t have to ask.

  “Meredith,” he breathed. “Jesus Christ. So that’s what all of this has been about.”

  “What? No. I mean… I heard it, and it upset me. It made me realize a few things. No, not even that, I already realized how I felt about you, but it…spurred me to act, I guess? Afraid I might lose you to someone else.” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead in frustration. “Now who’s fucking up? I’m so sorry.”

  “How much did you hear?”

  She looked at him, tempted, so tempted to lie. Oh, a couple of minutes. I immediately went back inside. Because that’s what a normal person would do. “The whole thing.”

  He turned away before she could grab him. “What the fuck, Meredith?”

  “I didn’t know it was you until the end! I’d had a few beers and I couldn’t sleep and…oh, hell, Cameron. Is it really so unbelievable? I listened. I felt bad but I did it anyway. So there. You feel bad, I feel bad… We’re even on that score at least, aren’t we?”

  But given the way he looked right now…she wondered if they were going to get out of this vacation with any shred of their relationship left alive. “I don’t know what to say. It kills me that you heard that. I can’t even…”

  “It killed me to hear it,” she admitted. “But Cam…if it’s what brings us together in the end, I can’t help but be glad I did. This way I won’t have to go on keeping how I feel about you under wraps. That’s a good thing. It was wearing on me. It was so hard.”

  “You did a damn good
job of hiding it,” he told her. “Until yesterday I sometimes wondered if you’d spit on me if I was on fire.”

  “Funny. I’m usually the one wearing my heart on my sleeve.” She tried a smile, failed miserably. “And I’d spit on you if you were on fire. I’d try anything. If it didn’t work, I guess I’d jump in the fire with you. The same way I know you would do for me.”

  He fared a little better at a smile than she had. “You’re something else, you know that?”

  “I guess you haven’t figured out what yet?” She laughed.

  “I do have a request.”

  Meri drew a breath. “Okay. Shoot.”

  “Can we never mention this again? I know it’s probably too much to ask for you to forget it completely, but if I could, like, scrub it from your brain, I would.”

  “Hmm. I did have another confession to make to you about that incident.”

  “Oh, God. Do I want to hear it?”

  “I don’t know. It might change the way you think of me. If you’re really attached to your Meri-the-sweet-kid image of me, anyway, I guess I should take it to the grave.”

  “I’m attached to any image of you. Don’t you know that?”

  She moved toward him, slipping her arms around his waist and standing on her tip-toes to put her lips near his ear. “It got me so hot.”

  He groaned and leaned into her, pulling her close. “Yeah?”

  “I touched myself right there on the balcony. I felt so dirty. But I liked it. After I knew it was you, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way you sounded. Your voice. How I wanted that for myself. How I wanted you to sound that way for me.”

  “Fuck, do you know what you’re doing to me right now, kid?”

  She laughed. Yeah, she could feel exactly what she was doing to him. “I have an idea. And I thought we had gotten past the ‘kid.’”

  “I like teasing you.”

  “I think boys only tease girls when they have a crush on them.”

  “Then expect me to keep doing it for a long, long time. Kid.”

  They walked back into the restaurant holding hands. A solid unit. Time to face the music, whatever that music might sound like. Sharing one final glance at each other, they approached the table where Dane, Marla and Alyssa sat.

  Meredith drew a fortifying breath as her brother glanced up and saw them. He didn’t only see them, though; his gaze dropped immediately to their joined hands, then back up to their faces.

  Unlike her, Dane had always been unreadable. She searched his expression desperately for a reaction, knowing full well she wouldn’t get it until he was ready to give it.

  Please, big brother, she silently pleaded. Be okay with this.

  Marla saw them too; her mouth dropped open. Alyssa followed their gazes, turned and grinned bigger than Meri had ever seen.

  Dane sat back, his arm resting casually around the back of Marla’s chair. He looked as if he might sit there and ponder his own thoughts for another hour.

  “Surprise?” Meri said uncertainly. Cam smiled down at her, lifted her hand, and kissed the back of it.

  Just when she thought Dane might torture them forever, he sat up and turned his attention back to his food. But not before muttering, “It’s about damn time.” He took a big bite of his burger, swallowed and added, “What the hell did you think I brought him for?”

  Before they left the restaurant, Meredith made sure to stop by their little corner table from the night before, which happened to be empty. Under the place where she’d written “First date” below their names, she added two more words: “of many.” Then she drew a heart around the whole thing.

  Alyssa, bless her, had mercy on them and crashed with Dane and Marla for the rest of the day, even offering to move her stuff later so they could have the entire unit to themselves for the remainder of the trip. She was the best friend ever.

  They needed that time, Meri thought. They needed to talk and make love and get to know each other intimately before getting back to the hustle and bustle of real life. Other couples made it work, of course, but most hadn’t had their kind of inception.

  “I could have killed him when he said that,” Cameron confessed as they sat out on the balcony that evening and watched the waves roll in. “I’m sorry. I know I said we shouldn’t bring it up anymore. It’s not even something I would keep from you, but…the night before, you know? It looks bad.” He sighed. “I wouldn’t have had you find out that way. It made me feel like a fucking creep.”

  Meredith laughed. “Imagine how I felt, sitting out here…you know. Being a fucking creep.”

  He reached across and took her hand. “You could never be a creep, baby.”

  “Well, neither could you.” They stroked each other’s hands and fingers in silence for a moment, and finally she could resist no more. “So…she stormed out on you?”

  “She was highly pissed at me. I pretty much gave her the boot first thing. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but damn. I didn’t want to spend the day with her, either.”

  Meri chuckled. “Poor thing. Though I can’t say I exactly feel sorry for her. I just know how I would’ve felt if you’d given me the boot.” Devastated. Of course, with them, there had been much more at stake than one night.

  “Hell, no. Never. You’re different, you know that, right? You always have been.”

  “Can I ask what she looked like? I kind of tortured myself over it.”

  He met her gaze directly. “At the risk of sounding like a total asshole…she looked a lot like you. Then again, I was seeing you everywhere, Meredith. I usually do.”

  It was scary how fast she was willing to forgive him anything. Hopefully this wouldn’t set a precedent; she didn’t want him getting away with too much. She grinned at the thought. “Don’t look anywhere else from now on, okay? That’s all I ask. You can see the real thing right here.”

  “Got it.” He leaned over, she met him halfway, and he kissed her as the sun kissed the horizon over the Gulf of Mexico.

  Epilogue

  Dinner had been delicious, the walk on the beach truly soothing for the soul. They ended up in much the same state as the previous night: wet from splashing each other, sandy from chasing each other and the tumble they took when she let him catch her. Hours passed like minutes, and she began to realize how much she would miss this. At the same time, she was eager to get back to life with him at her side.

  Before they did, though, she needed one more thing.

  Maybe it was crazy. Maybe she was a little twisted (well, maybe definitely twisted). But when she dragged him out onto her balcony at three in the morning, his sheepish grin was simply too adorable.

  “You’re insane, you know that?”

  “You didn’t realize that about me?”

  “If I didn’t before, I do now.”

  “Call it my need to replace a bad memory with a great one. After this, no more mention of it. I promise.”

  “I can live with that, if it’s what you need. But please don’t ever be insecure about it, because it was nothing on what I have with you, babe. Nothing.”

  She smiled, trailing a fingernail under his chin. “I just thought it was hot, remember? I wondered at the time if I’d let you do the same thing to me. And I decided I would.”

  “Well. In that case.” He drew her into his arms, lowering his head to sweep her mind out to sea with one of his kisses. She would never get used to them, would she? That was fine with her.

  The wind created a mess of her hair; she kept having to push it out of the way of their hungry mouths. Cameron still wore his swim trunks and Meredith her bikini from an earlier dip, little to get in the way of their equally hungry hands. He lavished kisses on the tops of her breasts, down to the flat of her belly, and lower to her thighs. She lifted her face to the moon, a smile drifting across her lips as he tugged down her bottoms.

  Then kisses where she needed them most right now, teasing at the need aching between her thighs.

  “Oh, yes, please, Cam...” br />
  Her mind could scarcely follow the rapid procession of events following that helpless little plea. Her top coming off. His trunks disappearing. His body hard and unforgiving in her arms. Being lifted, her back put to the wall as she’d imagined that night, as she’d dreamed about. Oh, God, yes.

  “It should’ve been you,” he growled against her throat. “Should’ve always been you. It fucking pisses me off that it wasn’t.”

  Again, if it hadn’t happened, they wouldn’t be here. At least not yet. For that alone, she would be eternally thankful for it, and grateful to herself. She’d seized an opportunity she’d let pass her by for far too many years, and it had paid off. Against all odds, he was finally hers.

  “It’s okay. I’m here now.” Their mouths fused. The music of the waves camouflaged their murmurs and groans. He found her entrance, claimed it, claimed her, their rhythms at last matched perfectly as she rolled with him. Her fingernails raked at his back; his short ones bit into the globes of her ass as he held her firmly in place.

  Somewhere someone might be hearing them; hell if she knew or cared right now. Maybe that someone was thinking of someone else. All she had to say to that person was go for it. You will never, ever know unless you go for it. And sometimes the stars lined up and gave you everything you’d ever wanted in your life.

  He was all she’d ever wanted.

  She came with his name on her lips and a smile on her face, a laugh bubbling out of her. It must have been infectious; he laughed too. Then she watched his beloved face as he followed her into bliss.

  Later, an exhausted heap on the bed with the moonlight pouring over their naked bodies, he scooted behind her and drew her into his arms, pressing her as close as he could.

  “Is it too soon to tell you I love you?” he whispered.

  “Soon? I’ve waited years to hear you say that.”

  “I have a lot of time to make up for then, don’t I? I love you, Meredith.” He kissed her ear. Her cheek. Her shoulder.