Unravel

  “You sure you want to go?”

  “Yeah.” She took two steps back. “I’m sure,” she said firmly.

  We left her house a few minutes later. The further we drove from her parents’ house, the more relaxed she became. A small half-smile appeared on her face.

  “What are you going to do for furniture?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Thrift store? I’m not exactly swimming in cash right now.”

  “Thrift store sounds good,” I said agreeably.

  She didn’t respond. Just watched the endless row of houses fly past us.

  “Am I crazy for doing this?” she said quietly.

  My fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Not at all.”

  “Sometimes I’m afraid it will all bite me in the ass,” she admitted.

  “None of it will. Everything you’re doing right now is a step in the right direction.”

  That seemed to be my go-to saying for Lana. I had repeated those words over the past week so many times I’d lost count.

  “I know my dad will try anything to get me to go back home.”

  “Lana…” I chose my words carefully.

  Her phone interrupted me. She looked down the same time I did.

  Her dad was calling.

  I knew there was only one reason he would be calling her right now. It figured he would be the first one to know she was gone.

  I stayed perfectly quiet and tried to keep my eyes on the road, but they kept straying to the right. Lana’s finger hovered over the answer button for a long second before she pressed ignore.

  It may seem inconsequential for most people, but for Lana it was huge.

  “Who was that?” I asked innocently.

  She dropped her phone into her purse and pulled the clasp. The snap sounded loudly in the car. “No one.”

  I wanted to celebrate this moment. I made a quick left.

  “Where are we going?” she said. “Apartment’s up ahead.”

  I grinned. “We, my friend, are going furniture shopping.”

  “Stay,” Max said in a throaty whisper.

  I shivered. My eyes closed. My head sank deeper into the pillow and Max’s scent was all around me. It made saying no twice as hard.

  “I can’t,” I said weakly. “I gotta…”

  I had to do something. I just didn’t know what that something was. Everything that was important in my life seemed to fade in Max’s arms.

  His head was bent as his lips traveled down my neck. Pieces of his hair brushed against my skin, making me shiver. The minute we stepped inside his house we came at each other with this frantic, all-consuming need to touch.

  “I really gotta go,” I groaned with frustration.

  Max lips stopped moving. He looked up. His lips were damp and slightly parted. I wanted nothing more than to stay right there, curl my hands into his hair, and drag his lips to mine.

  He rolled over and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He was breathing heavily, his abs becoming defined with each breath.

  I jumped out of his bed before I changed my mind and turned back around and jumped him.

  Max rolled onto his side. “Why do you have to go?”

  “I just need to,” I said absently.

  I walked around the room, searching for my shoes. Pieces of clothing were scattered across the floor. Max’s jacket. My cardigan was tossed in the corner.

  “Everything is okay now.”

  Lana moved into her new apartment a week ago. And while it was a huge relief that she wasn’t underneath her dad’s thumb anymore I couldn’t just shut her out; I carried her with me wherever I went.

  I continued to stay with her. I would hear her crying herself to sleep, or sometimes screaming out. I asked her if everything was okay. She would never answer me, even though I knew she could hear me.

  “Everything is okay. Right?”

  I found one heel next to the door. “Yes… but…”

  “But what?” Max said.

  I looked at Max. The other heel was partially underneath the bed. I put both on and walked over to him.

  Max sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. His hands were on the bed, shirt still unbuttoned. He opened his legs and I walked in between them, staring down at him.

  “Things have just been… difficult,” I said carefully.

  Max stared at me. “How difficult?”

  “Pretty difficult.”

  I was being generous. There were some days that seemed like everything was going to be all right. But then there were those days where it felt like I was in hell with Lana. It felt like the world was crumbling down around her, around me. It sucks the will to live out of you. Leaves your energy depleted, and steals your happiness.

  And the next day would be okay. Lana would have to start over, rebuilding her happiness. All I could do was watch.

  His hands curled around my hips. I stood frozen in place. “Just stay,” Max said. “Stay here. I’ll take away all those worries for a few hours.”

  His eyes were heavy lidded and the right side of his lips curved up in a half-smile that should’ve been innocent. It was anything but. My defenses instantly crumbled.

  With one tug, I was on top of him. His hands held me tightly against his warm body. His kiss was slow on purpose. Meant to drive me insane. Meant to coax me into staying the night with him. He did these slow, little licks that made me moan. My mouth opened. My body relaxed deeper into his. He sucked on my lower lip and tugged gently. I barely noticed the sting. Not when his hands moved up and down my thighs.

  I gasped into his mouth.

  His fingers found the zipper of my dress and slowly dragged it down.

  My dress parted, allowing him to slip his hands inside. Fingers grazed my spine. I sucked on his tongue with hunger. My body wanted it all. I wanted pleasure from his hand and I wanted to see every part of him. It was this frantic need that made me shake.

  His touch always seemed to take me to another place, where my worries and fears unraveled and slipped away from my body.

  I pushed myself off of him and took off my dress.

  He stared at me, his eyes blazing.

  “You’re gorgeous,” he growled.

  Right then, I felt it. He did that to me. Made me feel beautiful and confident and so powerful.

  Max shed his shirt. It dropped next to my dress. My hands moved down his stomach, tracing ridged muscles.

  A sheen of sweet started to form on his brow the longer I touched him.

  I finally reached his pants. I toyed with the button.

  Max’s breathing became heavy.

  I unzipped his pants slowly, just like he did with my dress. His hips lifted instinctively. I shoved his pants and boxers down around his ankles. I looked down at him. I tingled with anticipation and I reached out and curled my fingers around his dick.

  My touch varied: switching between feather light, to holding him tight. I touched him with fascination. There’s nothing like being free and having a man underneath you, losing control and giving it all to you.

  He hissed in a sharp breath. His entire body was frozen, like it was carved from stone. While I continued to torture, I leaned over him. My left hand splayed against the sheets. His eyes opened long enough to meet my gaze. His pupils were dilated with lust and there was a dazed expression on his face. Knowing that I put that expression on his face made me damp in between my legs. I kissed him hard. He breathed through his nose and dropped his head against the mattress.

  An anguish laugh escaped him. “You trying to kill me?” he groaned.

  I leaned even closer. “You want me to stop?”

  “Hell no.”

  I smiled against his lips and tightened my grip. When his breathing started to turn into panting and his strong body jerked beneath me, I pulled away. I stood up to take off my underwear and bra.

  Max lifted his head and stared at me. His eyes were hot, scanning every inch of my skin.

  “Keep the heels on.”


  I lifted a brow.

  “My heels, hmm?”

  I watched as he put the condom on with quick, steady hands.

  He sat back and opened up his arms. I crawled over him, my knees on either side of his body. The tip of him rubbed against me and if I rose a bit higher he would slip inside of me and I would feel nothing but him.

  “If you’re going to kill me, do it right. Straddle me.”

  I paused. It was brief. A millisecond to brace myself for everything that was about to happen.

  I straddled him.

  His hands moved from my waist and curved around my breasts. His palms brushed against my nipples and a breathy moan escaped my lips.

  “Rise up to your knees,” he said.

  I obeyed.

  “Guide me inside that tight pussy. Go slowly. Sink down until you’re wrapped around me as tight as a glove. And don’t stop until you’re screaming my name.”

  I felt a jolt go through my body.

  I followed his directions and slid down his dick slowly. My eyes closed. My legs started to quiver. For the past few weeks I’d been drained of energy. But this… this changed everything.

  I moved up and back down just as slowly. All those tingles, that seemed to ricochet wildly beneath my skin, he felt too.

  “Fuck!” he shouted, drawing out the first syllable with anguish.

  His hips lifted up, meeting me every time I moved back down. Our rhythm became faster and faster. Muscles started to burn and right when those tingles in my body were about to burst open, he flipped me over.

  Cold air touched my skin. And I didn’t get a warning or head start. Max covered me in a half-tackle. One of his hands laid flat on the sheets, the other was wrapped around my waist. My hair pooled over the side of the bed.

  Our lips collided as he moved into me powerfully, taking over, moving frantically. A wild look was in his eyes. All I could do was hold onto him tightly.

  I was starting to slip under.

  “I’m gonna…” I panted. My voice faded away as he thrust into me.

  “What are you gonna do, love?” Max said gruffly, his eyes never leaving my face.

  Come. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I was seconds away from. My eyes were close to shutting. I was ready to close out the world just for those few seconds of pure bliss.

  But he held my jaw in between his thumb and index finger. Max wasn’t demanding. He was asking me not to shut him out.

  The headboard rattled. I could smell the tangy scent of our sweat. My fingertips sank into his skin, holding him as close to me as humanly possible. My body started to spasm and I kept my eyes open.

  I would share this with him.

  I didn’t scream his name. I could barely breathe, let alone speak.

  Max came seconds later. His was jaw was slack and his eyes were heavy, but he kept them open.

  My control and the solid ground beneath me slipped away. And I was falling, frantically reaching for something to break my fall. It was a fast descent. Only lasted a few seconds.

  Max buried his face into the crook of my shoulder. Then my eyes finally closed as I realized that I didn’t just love this man, I would give him everything… and if that wasn’t enough I would let him take what he needed, just as long as he returned my love.

  He shifted slightly. His eyelashes fluttered against my skin. His lips parted, and grazed against my neck. And the next four words out of his mouth almost killed me.

  “God, I love you.”

  I woke up to an empty bed.

  My head lifted from the pillow with my hair a wild mess. I peeked over at the empty spot on the bed, where Max should’ve been.

  I didn’t know what time it was. My body was still worn out. I sat up. The mattress was crooked and the sheets were wrinkled and close to completely falling off the bed, and all I could think about were four amazing words.

  “God, I love you.”

  I sat up and rubbed the sleep away from my eyes. Max’s watch was on the nightstand. I picked it up. 2 a.m. Where the hell was he?

  When I stood up, my muscles protested. I couldn’t complain or regret a single second.

  I walked across the room, grabbed a robe from his closet and walked out of the room. I had no problem sleeping alone, but if I was going to stay here with Max, I wanted to be with him while I had the chance.

  The house was quiet. Just a single lamp was on in the hallway. I heard his voice. It was muffled but definitely coming from downstairs, in his office.

  I hadn’t known him a long time, but I knew he worked hard at his job. I smiled to myself. But then his voice, that was seconds ago quiet, suddenly became harsh and demanding. I flinched and stopped in my tracks, waiting to see if he would explode again. A sick feeling of dread danced up my spine. The only time I’d ever heard Max lose his temper was because of Lana’s dad.

  I walked down the rest of the steps and pressed my ear against the door, straining to hear the conversation.

  “You’re threatening me?”

  There was a long pause.

  “Not a smart move,” Max said darkly. “Just remember that up until now, I haven’t done a damn thing when I could’ve destroyed your fucking career with one simple action. It’s because of your daughter that I chose not to.”

  More silence.

  I heard a chair creak. I could picture Max leaning forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “I’m getting off. Don’t ever call me at this hour again. And Michael? Just so you know, I’m a good friend… but I’m an even better enemy.”

  Seconds later the phone hit the wall with enough force to make the heavy, oak door shake.

  I opened up the door. It creaked loudly. Max was still sitting behind the desk. His head was bowed, fingers laced together, resting against his forehead. He instantly looked up, jumping to his feet.

  I opened the door further and walked inside. His phone was in pieces: screen cracked, battery lying on the ground. I looked at Max. His jaw was clenched as he stared back at me.

  “You were out of bed.”

  Max crossed his arms, staying stubborn and not saying a word.

  “I was looking for you,” I said dumbly.

  His shoulders sagged as he leaned his palms against his desk. “I couldn’t sleep,” he finally replied.

  I waited for him to elaborate. He never did.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked carefully and stepped further into the room.

  “Absolutely.” He turned away, shuffling papers on the desk. “Just dealing with some work bullshit.”

  I nodded and tapped my fingers against his desk. “That makes sense, because everyone knows all work bullshit happens at two in the morning.”

  Imperceptibly, his fingers tightened around the papers in his hands.

  “Yes,” Max said.

  “You want to tell me what’s really going on?”

  Max rubbed a hand down his face. “No, Naomi. I don’t.”

  “I heard you talking to him.”

  “I figured as much.”

  I walked to him and leaned against the desk. “Then why lie?”

  He sat down in his chair—his hands curling around the armrests—and looked up at me. “Why do you think?”

  I stared at him quietly. “Why did he call?”

  His eyes shut as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Ah. Shit…” he muttered.

  Suddenly he stood up and walked over to the window. He stared outside, his palms braced against the window frame. Those strong shoulders were slumped. His spine slightly bent. His body could do so much damage, could put fear into some of the biggest men out there, but he had to sit back and let Lana’s dad slip through his fingers. I knew it was weighing on him, but I didn’t know it was this bad.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my forehead on his back. We stood there quietly.

  “He’s panicking,” Max said. “He knows he’s losing control, so he’s trying to take a swing at anyone to get his way.”

  “Tell me the truth
.”

  He looked up and held my gaze in the window. “I am telling you the truth.”

  There were still more truths that needed to be said. He and I both knew that.

  “Are you in danger?”

  He opened his mouth. I interrupted him. “Don’t try to protect me and hide the truth. Just be honest.”

  Max turned. My arms were still around him and his hands moved up to cradle my face. Very slowly he said, “I’m not in danger. And I’m not worried about Michael. People screw up when they’re scared. They become careless. ”

  He kissed me. Whether it was to silence me or take away all the tension from the room, I didn’t know. He put everything into that kiss and I took every bit.

  We went back to bed and fucked one more time. We took our time, touching, kissing, licking. But no matter how hard we tried to make our worries disappear, nothing worked.

  Our fears loomed over us for the rest of the night.

  “I think it’s going to snow forever,” I say. My lips are inches away from the window, making the glass fog up.

  The sun is partially hidden by dim, gray clouds. Yet it still manages to reflect off the snow, making it sparkle.

  No one answers me. Everyone in the rec room is swept up in their minds, problems and pain. They each have stories of their own. I pull my eyes away from the outdoors and look around.

  There’s a lady sitting across from me. The same lady that sat next to Pretend Mommy during the group therapy session. She stares outside. She hasn’t opened her mouth since she sat down, which was three hours ago.

  No smile.

  No tears.

  Nothing.

  I want to know her story. I want to know what brought her here. I can guess all day, but I know I’ll never know the truth.

  I exhale and drum my fingers on the table. It’s so quiet in here and it’s not the good kind. This is the type of quiet that makes your ears ache. It makes time move at an agonizingly slow rate, making you feel like you’re going to lose your mind at any second.

  “We’re not going to get out of here,” I say casually. The lady doesn’t say a word, yet I continue our one-sided conversation. “All of us are losing so much time. We can never get it back.”

  She blinks, and call me crazy, but I think that’s her way of showing she’s listening. I think she agrees.