Surrogate

  In a panic, Robbie started pacing the room again, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do now. No matter what he tried, he couldn't seem to wake her. The room wasn't very big, and he strode around it as if the devil himself were chasing them. Robbie was beginning to think that might be exactly what was happening.

  Just as Robbie felt his world spinning even more out of control, he saw a blue glow emanate around the cracks of the door. This stopped him in his tracks, and he stared, mesmerized, as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on. For a moment, the light just hovered there, growing brighter and brighter until it almost blinded him, and Robbie had to shield his eyes. In that instant, he knew it had something to do with Shoshan.

  His eyes begin to tear up. Shoshan lay completely still, and as much as the light terrified him with all its unknown implications, it as a source of hope that perhaps all was not lost for Shoshan.

  He turned back to the door and waited. It was all he could do. The light, once just outside, now eased in around the cracks, slowly at first, then quickening as it made its way to Shoshan. In that instant, all the light suddenly surged toward her, and when she once had a white aura, suddenly she was bathed in a blueness that reminded him of a stormy sky.

  As the light surged into her, Shoshan gasped and her back arched, reminding Robbie of the patient lying on a gurney where doctors apply the paddles and shock life back into her. He'd watched enough TV to be thinking of some doctor yelling, "200 Joules," and when that didn't solve the issue being dead, he could hear the doctor yelling again. "Two-hundred-and-fifty Joules" before applying the paddles again.

  Suddenly, Shoshan's eyes opened, wide and distant. Grateful, Robbie knelt next to her. "Shoshan, can you hear me?"

  Shoshan stared ahead, her body absorbing the blue light. Her form twitched repeatedly, and Robbie wished he knew what was going on.

  He waited, holding his breath for long seconds before he finally voted out. Not knowing what else to do, he reached for her hand, wondering if she felt him this close if that might bring her back. He was willing to try anything.

  Her whole body was rigid. He felt it as he held her hand and her fingers wrapped so tightly his squeezing hard enough to hurt. Part of him wondered how long this could go on and what it meant. All he could do was watch and wait, that was eating him alive.

  Shoshan made a grunting sound, as though someone had thrown the ball too hard and she absorbed into her gut. In that instance Robbie wish there was something he could do besides just hold her hand and watch. Sweat beaded on this for any could feel it in the shoulder blades, drenching his shirt. He knew it had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. This was fear, pure and simple.

  Just when Robbie thought Shoshan couldn't take anymore, the tension left her body, and she eased back against that into a sort of peaceful state. Robbie, on the other hand, felt anything but peace. The blue glow was still there, but it wasn't as sharp or demanding, not the Robbie had a clue with it meant or even if it was really her brothers as he had hoped.

  "Shoshan, can you hear me?" Stunned by what he just witnessed Robbie kept his voice soft. Every time he thought he'd stopped being shocked by the unexpected, the unexpected came calling in ways he could never have imagined.

  "Take me outside. My brothers are here," she finally said in a raspy voice. Although her eyes were open, but her eyelids were heavy, and Robbie suspected they wanted to close forever.

  She gasped sharply from pain. Robbie thought perhaps she was trying to shut out the agony, but when her eyes did not reopen he sensed that she passed out. Frantic, he shook her even harder. "Shoshan, you have to stay with me."

  Once again she drifted far beyond him, and panic seized him blue light? The only blue light he saw was on her form. How was he supposed to follow that?

  Fear ate away at Robbie, demanding that he give up, but Robbie found himself looking around the room, praying a solution would present itself. And it did. There was a faint blue trail moving towards the door, and although Robbie wanted more to go than a feeble trick of light, it was more than he had five minutes ago. Was this the answer he needed?

  He looked at Dallas. "Wrap the baby in a blanket and come outside with us."

  He glanced back at Shoshan quickly realized everything that was up to him now. Gritting his teeth, he carefully wrapped Shoshan in the blanket before taking her into his arms and rushing through the house, knowing every second counted. He wondered if her brothers were like her. They were definitely right to avoid humans. He looked over at Shoshan. She'd learned this at a terrible cost, and yet he suspected that even if she had known what would happen, she would have still made the same choices. Her optimism of human nature was inevitable, and that one thing made her more human than she could ever know.

  Would he be able to communicate with them? He figured that the only reason Shoshan had learned to communicate with him was because she'd taken Carrie within her and that knowledge of human communications had come with her. The other aliens had no such skills.

  And how would he tell them what had happened to her?

  While that thought was disturbing, he was more troubled by her weakened state. She hadn't come here with evil intent, but she'd almost been destroyed. Typical.

  Robbie clenched his jaw. Every muscle in his back tensed as he stepped onto the back porch where the blue trail led him.

  Shoshan's brothers had to be somewhere close by. It was just a matter of getting his attention, and, looking over at Shoshan's unconscious form, her glow having faded to a simple milky tone instead of that harsh brilliance like the sun, he knew it wouldn't be long before all hell broke loose.

  He looked back at Dallas and saw the baby was sleeping peacefully in his arms, comforted by the covers that swaddled her tightly.

  Shoshan's head fell against his chest, and that movement should have roused her, yet it didn't. Robbie wasn't sure what would. He took his first step toward the blue line stretched in front of him and kept walking, wondering if the others were here. From what Shoshan had said, they didn't even know about his world, and that not knowing left them vulnerable in so many ways. Yes, they probably were pretty powerful. Shoshan was, and yet the capacity for evil had a way of leveling the playing field.

  Robbie reached the space where the blue guide suddenly stopped, indicating he had arrived at the rendezvous point, yet there appeared to be no sign of the other aliens. From behind Robbie, a harsh blue glow pierced the blackness. It was so bright, almost white, and as Robbie turned it face it, he quickly found his eyes watering so much that it was hard to see anything clearly except that brilliance, just like it had been the first time he saw Shoshan's true form.

  Her brothers had arrived.

  Robbie stiffened, wondering what was going to happen next, not that it mattered. There was nothing he could do to change anything. All he could do was watch through bleary eyes as the glowing light edged closer, floating almost, as it moved with a grace no human had ever possessed and never would.

  He remained perfectly still as the light stopped right in front of him, although it took everything he had, considering just how bright it was. His eyes were burning madly, and still, he tried to see through the brilliance to the form beneath the burning. Shoshan had one so this being must, as well. Yet either the light was too bright or his eyes burned just too much to be able to discern anything under the blue glow. He knew only that part of the light reached for Shoshan and gently removed her from his arms, and the moment it did so, the world was infinitely heavier.

  Would he have to take Shoshan back to her home world to heal her. Robbie didn't really know what he'd thought would happen at this point. Some part of him just assumed that Shoshan had become part of his world, but he knew that wasn't right. She would never be part of his world, no matter how he might want that, and even though part of Carrie was with her, that didn't make her human. Of course, because of that, she wasn't completely alien anymore either. She was unique, and Robbie just didn't know how
he would face his world without her in it.

  A moment later, he didn't really have much of a chance to think about it. The blue glow receded from him, but he could see it stretching over Shoshan, covering her entirely as it set her on the ground a short ways from him. The other alien placed his form in between Robbie and Shoshan, blocking Robbie from seeing what was transpiring no matter how hard he craned his neck, trying.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Robbie's eyes watered like he was crying. Every time he tried to look beyond the green haze to see what was going on with Shoshan, his vision clouded over. All he could see was a turquoise blur blocking his path of vision. Sure, he could occassionally spot glimmers of her, but these were fleeting and worrisome. She didn't appear to be moving, and Robbie didn't want to think about what that might portend. He refused to believe that Shoshan, too, was gone. There had to be something her brother could do.

  Yet she was completely still.

  The glowing green blur slowly moved toward him, and the closer he came, the more the emerald aura hurt his eyes, blurring everything beyond definition. Everything was green and painful. He was starting to see crazy patterns, almost as he had when he experienced a migraine last year. With all this visual distortion, he wouldn't be at all surprised if he did have a migraine; that would explain the sudden bout of nausea claiming him.

  The green glow was almost upon him when suddenly a white light flickered and then glowed, almost like a light bulb easing on before gaining momentum to its brightest strength. Robbie wanted to shut his eyes because it hurt so badly, but he didn't dare. Only one of them had that color of light--Shoshan. Did he dare to hope she was healed?

  He squinted and realized that yes, it was her. She was different somehow, brighter, and he looked back at where she had lain, trying to understand what he saw. In that moment, his gaze happened upon Carrie's body. It had been shed as her brother healed her. Although he started to go toward it, he suddenly saw the green light leave the place in front of him. He was disoriented and his body suddenly pitched to the ground. Suddenly, the air was filled with sounds that Robbie thought reminded him of light, if light had sound. It was light and smooth--birdsong that seemed to stretch on forever. At first, he didn't have a clue what it was, but the longer he heard it, the more he figured it must be Shoshan and the others communicating, probably about the future and what to do with him and Dallas.

  Although both the aliens with the green and blue brilliance stepped forward, Shoshan did not back away or waver. He couldn't understand what they were saying, but he felt that he could understand the emotional rise of the conversation as he saw their brilliance sometimes glow brighter, almost as though emotion fueled their light. Robbie suspected it was just a coincidence because he didn't really think the aliens worked quite the same as humans. That wasn't to say they didn't have some form of emotion. It was just a little different than human emotion, and it was probably just as complicated in its own way.

  The birdsong seemed to go on forever, and Robbie was exhausted, and he was relieved when Shoshan finally turned to face him. She slowly dimmed the brilliance that shrouded her form until all he could see was Carrie. Even though his wife's body was no longer inside Shoshan, the alien could still appear like her. Part of him was glad of that. Part of him ached. He suspected it would always be this way.

  "We should look after the baby."

  Robbie slowly staggered to his feet, and even as he straightened, Shoshan reached for his hand, an unexpected gesture that amazed him. She'd given so much, and perhaps it was just a chance to spend a few moments with her again, but it mattered. The things that he valued most were snippets of time, none of them so long, but none would ever be forgotten either. They'd left an indelible mark. She, like Carrie, had left a mark, and he was better for it. That much he did know.

  As they walked to Dallas, Robbie nervously eyed the other aliens. Shoshan caught him staring. "Don't worry about them."

  "That's easy for you to say. What just happened back there?"

  The wind whipped though her hair, first tossing it into her face and then pushing it back. "I had to tell them about my journey." She turned to Dallas and held her hands out for the baby.

  He stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly as he gave her the baby. As Shoshan cradled the infant, she appeared as close to human as possible, and her arms seemed a natural place as though the alien really were her mother. Then again, since Carrie was a part of her, Robbie supposed in some ways Shoshan always would be her mother.

  The little girl puckered her lips, frowning like a sour taste had touched her tongue, and Shoshan cuddled her ever closer as she leaned over and kissed the baby's forehead, whispering a soothing noise. Without Shoshan realizing it, her skin had started to glow slightly, and she looked ethereal and angelic in that soft glow, so beautiful Robbie could never doubt she hadn't been born on earth, but he knew he wanted her to stay. He didn't know if it were because of her connection to Carrie, and it didn't matter. He just knew he wanted her. She had done what she'd come to do, and this wasn't her home. How could he ever ask her to stay? Yet how could he let her leave?

  He reached out and touched the baby's hand where it had eased loose of the swaddling. The tiny fingers reflexively curled around his, and Robbie was awestruck by the beauty of such a little being.

  "What are you going to call her?" Shoshan asked softly, looking up at him.

  Before Robbie could answer, he felt his body tighten. Although he knew he should have discussed names with Carrie before, she hadn't wanted to jinx the pregnancy. She thought that trying to come up with a name when the baby hadn't been born was a stupid idea. It was just better to have the baby first and find a name that fit. Now he wished he knew what she would have wanted.

  Then again, perhaps that, too, was immaterial because he knew what he wanted. He looked up at the heavens and thought of his wife. "Carrie Jean."

  Shoshan leaned against him, her head tucked just beneath his chin. "That's a good name."

  "Thanks." He slid his arm around her and squeezed. At his touch, she stiffened slightly, and that made him nervous. "What is it?" he asked softly, giving her space.

  "I will have to leave soon."

  "I know." Robbie closed his eyes at that thought.

  She looked at Dallas. "There is much turmoil within you." She lifted her hand and gently reached out, touching the place where his heart would be.

  Dallas stiffened, expecting pain. How could he have expected otherwise when it was what he had given her? Yet there was none. There was nothing, except Shoshan standing there, her palm against his chest.

  When she finished, she withdrew and looked at him. "I am sorry. I cannot heal you."

  Dallas nodded slowly, his eyes full of tears. "No one can."

  Shoshan glanced at her brothers. One of them nodded at her. She turned back. "This world brings you pain. It reminds you of things. I cannot change that. I can offer you passage to my world. It will not replace what you've lost, but it may offer something new. A chance to begin again, perhaps?"

  Shaken, Dallas stood there, unsure of what he was being offered, but then, he finally nodded, accepting her gift. This world held nothing for him except pain.

  The moment he decided, her brothers both reached for him, beckoning and he walked toward them.

  Once they were alone, Shoshan looked up at him, and amid all the glow of her skin, he saw tears in her eyes. Large, luminous pools that overflowed, spilling down her face.

  Robbie inhaled sharply yet tried to smile, but it came out as an awkward thing full of pain, not joy. Unsure what else to do, he reached up and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek. "Why can't you stay?"

  "It isn't my world."

  Robbie stepped closer. "We could be your world--me and Carrie Jean. Isn't that enough?"

  "I came here because I believed in you. I didn't know what I would actually find, but I hoped. My people are ancient and slow to learn. They don't believe there are species around them w
ho could teach us things...like love." She slowly handed Carrie back to him, nodding at the small bundle. "This was my gift to you, Robbie Williams, but you gave me so much more," she whispered. "You taught me what it was like to have two beings in one heart, and I will remember that always." She nodded toward Dallas. "But I don't think your world is ready for me. Your child would never be safe as long as I was with you, and I don't want that."

  Green and blue lights leaped into the sky, carrying Dallas Stanton between them, leaving only the faintest lines where they had been. Robbie realized Shoshan's people were gone. He was still staring when she kissed his cheek. "As long as I live, so will Carrie. Part of you goes into the heavens with me, where I will tell others of my journey with you."

  Robbie closed his eyes, feeling tears burning them. He tried not to cry but couldn't help it. "I love you," he said.

  "As I love you."

  She kissed him one last time then looked at Carrie as though memorizing her face before stepping back. The wind toyed with her hair as she levitated from the ground, her arms bent in in front of her, palms to the sky. The glow which had been a faint white before now blossomed into fire. For another scattering of seconds, she remained there, undefined by Carrie's form, then shot into the heavens, a beautiful arrow of light.

  For Robbie, that would have to be enough.

  Chapter Nineteen

  "Can we go swimming, daddy!"

  Robbie stared at his four-year-old daughter as she jumped up and down excitedly. Her long, brown hair waved in the air and bounced with each landing only to fly through the air again with each new hop.

  "You do realize it's bedtime, right?" Robbie asked, giving her a stern frown that he really didn't feel.

  "We can sleep later. C'mon daddy. It's a full moon!"

  Robbie had to laugh at her infectious smile. "All right. We'll swim for twenty minutes. Then you'll get in the bath and get ready for bed. Got it!"

  "Got it!" she said, beaming with the knowledge she'd won.