Biker Faith

  “Just me and you little one,” I say, holding my stomach protectively. “And someone at the door…” I add when three loud knocks float up the stairs.

  Luckily, I hadn’t undressed yet and make my way downstairs, cursing there isn’t a window on the door so I can see who it is.

  I brace myself for another shouting at by one of the Lost Souls when I open it to find my brother standing in front of me, smiling.

  “Hello little sister.”

  It feels like my lungs have shrivelled into nothing and I can’t breathe. How did he find me?

  “Joe,” I whisper.

  “You gonna invite me in or what?”

  He is the second person today to ask permission and also the second person who would come in regardless if I said no.

  “Come in.”

  I wait for him to pass and point towards the kitchen. I keep behind him so I can see what he doing, so he doesn’t catch me off guard.

  He still looks like my brother, but he doesn’t look the same as he did the last time I saw him. His body is thinner, his face is gaunt looking and is covered in scabs.

  “What are you doing here Joe?” I ask him.

  “Thought I’d come and visit my sister, you slipped away from us. Tommy has been worried sick about you Bonnie. It took the entire club to stop him from comin’ to get you,” he says, looking in each cupboard. Nosy bastard.

  Hearing Tommy’s name makes me lose the feeling in my legs. I stumble back onto one of the chairs. Joe notices this and smiles.

  “Shall I tell him you miss him?” he laughs.

  His implying to relay a message must mean he isn’t here to take me back and this calms me.

  Choosing not to answer him, I quickly think of something to ask him, steering clear of Tommy.

  “This is Lost Souls territory, they won’t be happy you’re here,” I tell him.

  This gets his attention and I don’t like the way his face changes from his happy, cocky self to something that scares me…violence.

  “They your new friends Bon? Shacked up here all pretty, no doubt fuckin’ them all. They takin’ advantage of you or do you like it?” he laughs menacingly.

  He walks slowly towards me, there is nowhere for me to back off to. If I run he will catch me and it will make it worse. It always makes it worse.

  “Nobody takes advantage of me here. They are real men, not spineless wasters who thinks it’s okay to beat women for their pleasure,” I sneer.

  He is in front of me in seconds, his rancid breath hitting my face as he back hands me to the floor. The first thing I do is protect my stomach with my arms, but the blows never come.

  “Don’t talk to me about them. If you think they have been keepin’ you safe in their fuckin’ shit hole of a club, you’re wrong. I choose to let you stay. You went missing for a while but when my prospects said they saw you driving through town, I decided it was time you made yourself fuckin’ useful.”

  I can’t believe he has had men here in town and Cas hasn’t seen them. That doesn’t sound right.

  “That’s right, I have eyes everywhere,” he says, seeing my confusion.

  “I have a message I want you to deliver. Tell Cas I want a meet with him and if he doesn’t take me seriously, I might have to follow in our father dearests footsteps and fuck up his girl again.”

  “You won’t touch her,” I grit out.

  “Like I said, deliver the fuckin’ message and get him to agree and no one gets hurt.”

  “Fine.”

  “Good, now I gotta go. Give him this number and tell him to call soon, I don’t wanna be kept waitin’,” he warned, leaving a scrap of paper on the side.

  “Oh and little sister, don’t get too comfy here, you’ll be comin’ home soon enough.”

  I don’t know if it is the morning sickness or the thought of being dragged back that was making me feel sick. Like Cas, Joe doesn’t say goodbye either. As soon as I hear the front door close, I run to it and lock it top to bottom.

  In the mirror I catch my reflection and begin to cry. For months my face has been clear of marks and now after one visit from my brother, I have a split lip again.

  Hastily, I wipe my face and tell myself to get a grip. I have changed, I am strong now, I don’t have to go anywhere I don’t want to go. I planned to settle down here in Willows Peak and raise my baby and that is what I am going to do. If or when my brother comes to get me, I will be waiting and next time I will not allow him to hurt me or take me, using any means necessary.

  Tired of men telling me what to do and blaming me for the shit that goes down in their lives, I grab the scrap of paper he left and shove it in my bag and pick up my keys.

  There is always a prospect on the gate. I will get him to call Cas out of the club and I can tell him what my brother wants. I won’t even have to get out of the car. This makes me feel better about the whole thing.

  Sparky...

  “Everyone has been lookin’ for you,” one of the prospects calls out as I park my bike in the garage.

  “Is that right?” I grunt.

  “Cas is in the bar. You might wanna tell him you’re back, he’s been tearin’ up the place.”

  I knew my brothers would be worried about me. When I left the cabin I was in a surreal fucking universe and nothing could get through to me. I started my bike and kept riding until I didn’t know where I was. Then I hit the bottle in a cheap ass motel and didn’t stop until I passed out. I woke up and repeated the process again. It wasn’t until I woke up this morning and knew I couldn’t ignore anyone any longer.

  It was best I went away, I am so fucking angry it is unbelievable. I am still angry and half wasted if I am honest.

  Stumbling through the door to the bar, all eyes fall on me and Cas strides over and holds me in a grip that if it were two women, it would be classed a hug. He slaps my back twice and releases me.

  “Where the fuck have you been? I’ve had every brother out there lookin’ for ya.”

  “I need a drink,” I mumble and step around him.

  The prospect is already on it and slams a bottle of tequila on the bar. Filling the glass, I neck the shot and fill it again.

  “I needed space,” I tell him, and everyone else who is listening, necking another shot.

  “Next time you need some fuckin’ space, let a brother know yeah?”

  I fill the glass again.

  “There won’t be a next time,” I say, throwing back another shot.

  “That’s good to hear. You wanna take off, that’s fine just tell someone first yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Alannah comes down the stairs and lights up when she sees me. I do not want to see her right now.

  “Don’t ever do that to us again Jason,” she warns, throwing her arms around me.

  “Fuck you,” I growl, pushing her away.

  I’m about to get my ass kicked for this but I don’t care.

  “You knew she was back and she…” I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘is pregnant’ out loud so I moved on. “You knew and you didn’t think to warn me. You’ve known me for over fifteen years. I thought I could fuckin’ trust you. You women are all the fuckin’ same,” I shout so loud I can feel my throat ripping.

  “Sparky!” Cas yelled in warning.

  I ignore him and everyone else who is now standing closer to me.

  “No Cas, let him get it out. It wasn’t my place to say. She wanted to speak to you herself and if you hadn’t been snooping for Cas, you never would have found out like that,” Barbs shouts, just as loud, getting closer in my face.

  I felt myself trembling with anger.

  “So you carry on your one man pity party and blame everyone else but yourself. You’re the one who walked away, cried off God knows where and think you’re going to find the answer at the bottom of a bottle. You fucked up Jason, not us.”

  I throw back another shot, welcoming the numbness. Barbie is right, I fucked up and now I don’t know what to do.

&n
bsp; I step out of Barbie’s space and fall onto a stool, turning my back on her and everyone else around me.

  “Get out of here babe, I’ll sort this,” I hear Cas say, and for once she does as she is told.

  “You gotta sort this out brother,” he says, taking the stool next to me.

  “I know.”

  “You’re fuckin’ lucky, Lana would kick my ass if I stepped in just then. You do it again I will make you regret it. Ass kickin’ from my girl or not, you do not raise your voice to her again, you hearin’ me?”

  “Loud and clear.”

  “What’s goin’ on with you? I don’t understand, so what she doesn’t want you? You have plenty who do here.”

  “I’ve been asking myself the same fuckin’ question. There’s something different about her, I’m different when I’m with her. Then she tells me she’s havin’ my kid,” I say quietly, “and for a moment I’m actually happy at the thought of bein’ a daddy. Then in the next breath she says she doesn’t want me…it hurt.”

  I slide the glass away and swig straight from the bottle.

  “I hate to be blunt, but you can’t carry on drinkin’ yourself into oblivion,” he says as he rips the bottle from my hand. “From what she’s told me, you can still see the kid. Maybe if you give it time things will change?”

  “Maybe,” I reluctantly agree, “I’m sorry brother, I didn’t mean for you all to worry about me, and I’ll apologize to Barbie too.”

  “As long as you’re good, we’re good. You should go get a shower as you fuckin’ stink,” he laughs adding, “get some sleep too, I need you in church on time tomorrow.”

  “Cas.”

  We both turn to the prospect behind the bar.

  “Got a call from the gate. Someone wants to see you,” he says, passing on the message.

  “Who?” Cas grunts.

  The prospect frowns and answers.

  “Adam won’t say but he said there’s no alarm, it’s cool.”

  “Want me to come with?” I ask.

  “No it’s fine. You go and get some fuckin’ sleep before you fall down.”

  I slap him on the back and stagger to the stairs. Thank God there is a rail to hold onto because I don’t think I would be able to make it to the top without it.

  Straining my eyes to get the key in the damn lock, I open the door and fall onto my bed. I’m out before I realise I left the door wide open.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bonnie...

  Pulling up outside the clubhouse, it is quiet. The sun is going down on the horizon and for a moment I feel good in the serene looking peace before the storm I am about to set in motion kicks off.

  The guarding prospect is already staring at me from his post. I roll down the window and smile kindly. It is the same prospect who wouldn’t open the gate for me when I last tried to leave.

  “Hey, remember me?” I call out.

  “Hard to forget ya,” he calls back, walking over.

  “I need you to get Cas out here please.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I just told you to, I need to talk to him and I’m not going in there. Trust me, he wants to hear what I’ve got to say.”

  He huffs and pulls out his cell, turning his back on me.

  “Oh and tell whoever is on the other end I don’t want anyone knowing I am here apart from Cas.”

  He doesn’t turn back around but he sticks his hand up in acknowledgment.

  He ends the call and gives me his attention again.

  “He’s on his way,” he grunts, returning to his post by the gate.

  I turn the engine off and wait. It occurs to me that this contact I’ve had with Joe will cement his distrust of me and he will make sure Sparky thinks so too.

  I see him come out of the door and walk across to my car parked on the edge of the road.

  His eyeball roll does not go unnoticed when he sees it is me who wants him.

  He leans on the car window ledge and nods once.

  “If you’re here about Sparky, I already know he’s back,” he says.

  What? That’s news to me!

  “He’s back?”

  “Yeah, is that not why you’re here?” he asks.

  “No. How is he?”

  “Sleepin’ off God knows how much tequila. So, why are you here?”

  “My brother turned up at the cabin a little while ago. He wants me to deliver you a message,” I say.

  My voice is shaking and Cas hears it.

  “He wants me to tell you that he wants a meet with you. He said to give you this number you can call him on,” I tell him, handing over the bit of paper.

  He takes it and scrunches it into a ball.

  “Cas, if you don’t meet with him, he said…”

  “He said what Bonnie?” he said, his anger shining through again.

  “He said he will get to Alannah again just like my…just like Hunter did.”

  His hiss through his teeth absolutely terrifies me. My brother played this one right, he knew Cas would definitely agree if he brought Alannah into the mix.

  “Did he now? I’d like to see him fuckin’ try.”

  “He said he has his prospects around town keeping an eye on things too.”

  I don’t care for my brother or any member of the Ghost Riders so I feel no loyalty to them. Telling Cas and the Lost Souls about his spies feels right.

  He doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything, only stares at me. I am done here.

  “I’ve told you everything, now I’m going back to the cabin,” I say, reaching to twist the key in the ignition.

  He grabs my chin and turns my head so I am face to face with him. He isn’t rough or being malicious, he is registering my split lip.

  “Your brother’s handiwork?” he asks, with my chin still in his hold.

  I nod my head and he lets go. He reaches for the keys and pulls them out.

  “What are you doing?” I screech.

  He ignores me and tosses them to the prospect by the gate.

  “Take someone with you and pack up Bonnie’s things at the cabin. Bring them back here and unpack for her,” he orders.

  “Really Cas, I’ll be fine at the cabin,” I try to assure him.

  “You’re not safe there anymore. You’re Lana’s best friend and whatever you are to my VP…and you’re carryin’ his kid. I say you’re stayin’ here where we can keep that from happenin’ again,” he argued, pointing to my busted lip.

  He opens my door for me and holds his hand out. I take it and he helps me out of the car, which I was not expecting from him. He is almost being friendly.

  “I’m not happy about this,” I tell him.

  “Didn’t think you would be,” he replies amused at my dirty look. “C’mon, let’s get you inside. I’ll get Lana to help you settle in.”

  I am taken aback by his kindness. It is a total contrast to this morning.

  “Thank you,” I find myself saying.

  I scan the bar when we enter it and can’t see Sparky anywhere. I look forward to the day when I can walk into a room without being the sole attention of it. Cas guides me to one of the couches and tells one of the girls to get me a bottle of water.

  “You gonna be okay while I go find Lana?” he asks.

  Okay, so now he is beginning to creep me out. I am used to hostile, protective Cas, not the kind and friendly version.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  He saunters off and I am joined by another brother.

  “You’re back then?” he asks.

  I can’t remember his name.

  “Looks like it,” I mumble sarcastically.

  “With some spunk this time. I like ya hair this way, it suits your attitude,” he laughs.

  “Thanks.”

  “My name is Slade. I’m the go-to-guy when you want something found,” he smiles.

  “I’m Bonnie. I’m the woman all men like to order about,” I reply dryly.

  He stares at me until I shake my head slightly
and he begins laughing again.

  “Not here because you wanna be then?” he asks.

  “Cas says I’m safer here,”

  “Oh, you in trouble again?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Don’t tell me, you walked into a door?” he asks looking at my lip.

  “You ask a lot a questions,” I retort.

  I wish Alannah would hurry up. The girl Cas sent to get me a drink returns and hands me a bottle of cold water. She smiles quickly at Slade and walks away again.

  “Didn’t get to know ya. By the time you came out of Sparky’s room for longer than five minutes you were gone. You stayin’ this time?” he asks.

  “Yes. So if you really are the go-to-guy to find things, how about you find me a house somewhere in town?” I joke, not expecting him to take me seriously.

  “What type of house you lookin’ for?”

  “Bonnie! Cas told me you’re staying here again,” Alannah says from the bottom of the stairs.

  I cringe as everyone takes note of this before returning to their drinks.

  “Come find me when you got time and I’ll find you any house you want,” Slade offers, slipping off the couch just in time for Alannah to take his place.

  “Thanks,” I reply, and he’s gone as quickly as he first appeared.

  “Cas told me your brother found you at the cabin?” she asks, leaning in close.

  I sit and tell her everything that happened. She listens to it all and doesn’t hide her joy I am back here with her.

  I am adamant it isn’t a permanent arrangement and she is content with that.

  Throughout our conversation, Cas rounded up his brothers and they disappeared into the back room. I didn’t see Sparky. According to Alannah, he got back today and got straight to drinking, shortly followed by sleeping.

  At least it gives me tonight to prepare for seeing him tomorrow.

  Cas and the guys flooded back into the bar as the prospects came back in saddled with my cases. Between the two of them, they managed to bring all my stuff in one trip. Alannah and I followed them up to a room I will be staying in and they left after I assured them I would unpack myself.

  Alannah remade the bed with clean sheets while I unpacked a case containing the necessities.