Forever Changed

  “We know,” Drake said in typical cocky fashion with his arm around a gorgeous brunette with legs practically up to her armpits. She laughed with us, tossing her hair so that it floated around her like you would see in a shampoo commercial.

  Maddon socked him in the arm. “Dude,” he said.

  “Come on, bro, you know I was kidding. Thanks, Kassandra. I’m glad you could come out again. Especially since you’ve been monopolizing all of my boy’s time,” he said, smiling at me.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  “No harm, no foul. Someone has to keep him out of trouble.”

  “Me? You’re the one,” Maddon said. “I could keep the girls here entertained for hours with some of your exploits,” Maddon said laughing. “One time…” he started to say as Drake snapped his sweaty shirt at him.

  “Whoa, man, what happens in the band stays in the band.”

  The brunette and I laughed at their banter.

  “Hi, I’m Kassandra,” I said, holding my hand out to her.

  “Carrie,” she said. “Leave it up to boys to forget something as trivial as introductions.”

  “I guess girlfriends get no love,” I quipped.

  “Oh, I’m not Drake’s girlfriend,” she said, sounding appalled.

  “You’re not?” I asked, confused by the way they had been hanging on to each other.

  “No way. Drake is way too much of a player for me.”

  “Yeah, Carrie’s way too good for me,” Drake said, slinging his arm back around her. “Carrie hangs around to keep the band in line,” he added, squeezing her shoulder affectionately.

  “Don’t let him fool you. He and Maddon took pity on me during sixth grade when I was a toothpick with giraffe-sized legs. Not to mention, I was ‘geek’ before it was cool,” she said, laughing.

  “Yeah, you grew into your legs, and your boobs are sure to come in someday soon,” Drake teased, darting away from her before she could hit him.

  “Don’t mind him, Carrie. You know he’s just jealous since he’s still waiting for puberty to show up,” Maddon joked.

  I laughed at their easy banter, finally getting what my dad had been trying to tell me for years. Real friends may laugh at you, but they’ll always have your back. For the second time that night, I felt a pang of jealousy at the close friendship the three of them obviously shared.

  “How about some chow?” Drake said, dragging Carrie back in for a quick hug. He dropped an affection kiss on the top of her head. “I was kidding, Slim Jim.”

  “I know, Drakie,” she said.

  “Food?” Maddon asked me.

  “I’m game,” I said, knowing our borrowed time was coming to an end. I didn’t know how my mom was going to handle the situation, but I couldn’t face the idea of stepping away from the new world Maddon had opened up for me.

  “Why don’t you guys leave your cars here and we’ll take my Jeep,” Drake suggested.

  “That’s fine, but I need to get my purse from my car,” Carrie said, pointing to her Toyota, parked over near the gate.

  “Sheesh Carrie, you parked in B.F. Egypt,” Drake grumbled as he set off with her.

  “That good with you?” I asked Kassandra.

  “I’m game for anything,” she said, sounding preoccupied.

  “You okay?” I asked, helping her climb into the vehicle, trying not to focus on how good she looked in the jeans she was wearing.

  “I like your friends,” she whispered, avoiding the question.

  “Kass, are you okay?” I repeated.

  She shook her head, looking ready to cry.

  “Whoa, did someone say something to you?” I said, ready to jump out of the vehicle to hunt down the person that had hurt her.

  “No, it’s not that. My mom wants to meet you.”

  “She knows about me?” I asked, feeling that was a good sign if she knew about me and still let Kassandra come.

  “She knows I’m seeing someone outside my ‘normal’ group,” she said, using air quotes with her hands.

  “Oh,” I said, suddenly understanding.

  “She’s happy I’m seeing someone, but I’m pretty sure that will change when she finds out.”

  “Maybe she won’t recognize me,” I suggested.

  “You and your dad were plastered across the news almost as much as we were after the accident.”

  “Crap, I forgot about that. Maybe it’ll be okay babe. After all, I’m the hero right?”

  She smiled at my word choice and linked her fingers through mine as Carrie and Drake climbed into the front seats, bickering about whether or not Bruno Mars was a legit artist.

  I studied the back of Drake’s head as sudden inspiration hit me. “We could always use a decoy,” I suggested, indicating Drake.

  She laughed. “That’s an idea.”

  “We’ll figure something out,” I said, draping an arm around her. “We have to because I’m not ready to give you up when I just found you.

  Hanging out with Maddon and his friends the rest of the night was fun, but still didn’t help the fear lingering in the back of my head. Drake was a playboy through and through. He flirted with anyone and everyone of the opposite sex, but I couldn’t help laughing at his charm. Carrie was a crack up too as she entertained me with harebrained ideas Maddon and Drake had when they were twelve and thirteen.

  “They always had some grand scheme about how they could become millionaires. Like the one time they decided they were going to sell candy bars at little league games. They had to hide the candy bars in the pockets of oversized jackets they snagged from Drake’s dad since the concession stand didn’t allow other vendors to sell during games. So there was Drake and Maddon, flashing spectators the different kinds of candy bars they had, like a drug dealer or something. The only problem with their plan, though, was that it was ninety degrees out, so by the time they even rode their bikes over there, all the candy had melted,” she said giggling as the guys looked put out.

  “Hey, it was a good plan,” Drake said defensively, making me join in with Carrie’s giggles.

  “Even if the candy wouldn’t have melted, you still wouldn’t have sold anything. How much were you guys charging?” she teased.

  “Five dollars,” Maddon mumbled.

  “What?” I asked, not sure I heard him right.

  “Five dollars,” Drake said louder. “Look, it was a good idea. We heard it was all about the markup. That’s how all the bigwigs make it.” We sat in silence for a moment until finally Carrie cracked, and we all laughed uncontrollably, bringing the attention of everyone at the restaurant in our direction.

  “Look, you don’t think iPads actually cost six hundred bucks to make, right,” Drake said defensively.

  “Hey, yeah, we could get iPads and sell them at prom for five thousand dollars apiece, we’ll clean up,” Maddon teased, making the sip of water I had just taken spray across the table.

  “Whatever, asses, my motto is ‘go big or go home,’” Drake grumbled, not ready to admit defeat.

  “Well, you definitely went home,” Carrie said, still laughing. “Just empty handed.”

  Maddon and I continued to laugh as Drake tried to mush her hair.

  The rest of the evening passed quickly as the trio continued to keep me entertained on the boy’s exploits and crazy ideas they had over the length of their six-year friendship. By the time we reached our cars, my side ached from laughing so much.

  “I had a lot of fun tonight,” I told Maddon as we stood outside my Explorer. “Drake and Carrie are a riot.”

  “Yeah, they’re pretty cool,” he said. “So, when does your mom want to meet me?”

  “This weekend,” I said sighing as reality crept in.

  “Hey, it’ll be all right. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” he said, brushing my hair back so he could place his hands on my shoulders, leaning in to brush his lips across mine.

  I placed my hands on his hips, then slowly moved them up under his t-shirt so I could touch the w
arm tanned skin that had enticed and taunted me the whole second half of his performance that night.

  He released a shaky breath as I stroked the small of his back. “Your touch drives me insane,” he said, pulling back slightly.

  “Why?” I asked, feeling myself responding to the huskiness in his voice.

  “Because I’ve thought about it for so long,” he said, crushing his mouth back on mine. His own hands moved down my arms until they rested on my hips and snaked their way under the hem of my shirt so he could caress my stomach.

  My knees liquefied at his touch as he shifted his body so I was up against the door with him, pressing up against me. The heat of his body surrounded me.

  “I hate to break up this love fest, but my dad will be pulling in any minute since he worked second shift today,” Drake said, interrupting us.

  I felt myself flush as I scooted my hands up to Maddon’s chest to try to put some distance between us, but he stood his ground.

  “Gotcha, now scram so I can kiss my girl one more time,” he told Drake, never taking his eyes from mine.

  “Cool, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Drake said, walking away laughing.

  “Is Drake’s dad strict?” I asked as Maddon trailed kisses from my chin to my ear. I shivered with need as I shifted the lower half of my body where we were pressed together. My shifting only intensified the heat in me as Maddon released a small groan in my ear.

  “Oops, sorry, did I hurt you?” I asked, unsure.

  “I would say you couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said.

  “So this doesn’t hurt?” I asked brazenly, shifting my body again.

  “You’re seriously playing with fire,” he said, splaying one hand along my neck.

  “Why?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Because, I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you at this moment, so unless you want your first time to be pressed up against your car door where Drake’s dad will most likely see us, you need to stop moving your hips like that.”

  “I can’t help it, it feels so good,” I said, forgetting about my promise to my dad as Maddon dropped his lips to mine. His hand gripped my hips pulling me even closer. I gasped as need raced through me like a runaway train.

  He detangled his body from mine, leaving me feeling oddly empty. “Drake’s dad will be here any minute. We don’t want to be here when he gets home,” Maddon said in a strained voice.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, afraid I had done something.

  “No,” he said, laughing at my expression. “Kass, you had me so worked up, you don’t know how close I came to taking you there.”

  “I wouldn’t have stopped you,” I said, making it clear I felt his pain.

  “I know, that’s the problem. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. I know keeping the promise you made to your dad is important to you. It’s my job to make sure you keep it.”

  His words brought a knot to my throat. I got the idea he had his fair share of women over the years, and could have any girl he wanted, and yet he was willing to abstain for me.

  “Text me when you get home,” he said, opening the car door for me.

  “I will. Hey, you never answered my question before. Is Drake’s dad some kind of asshole or something?”

  “Oh no, he’s the exact opposite. He’s a really great guy, but you don’t want to start a conversation with him unless you have several hours to talk. Once he gets started, there’s no shutting him up,” Maddon said, chuckling. “Now scoot,” he said, closing the door behind me.

  I backed up as a pair of headlights lit up the night behind me and a dark pickup truck pulled into the space next to Maddon’s car. I couldn’t help laughing as I saw Maddon trying to get in his car before he got stuck talking. My last glance in the mirror before the night swallowed them up was Drake’s dad pumping Maddon’s hand up and down in a handshake like it had been ages since he’d last seen him.

  I was still smiling when I pulled into my driveway. The night had been perfect, that is until I opened the front door to find my mom waiting up for me with a severe look on her face.

  “Hi, Mom,” I said, trying to head for the stairs like nothing was wrong.

  “Who’s your new friend, Kassandra?” she asked in a deadly serious voice.

  I grimaced and silently cursed Lacey and her cow of a mother. I sighed and turned around. “His name is Maddon,” I said.

  “Maddon Johnson?” she asked in a more elevated voice.

  I nodded my head.

  “Kassandra how could you? Do you not care anything about the memory of your father?” she asked with tears coursing down her cheeks as she stood in front of me.

  “Mom, I think Daddy would have been okay with…” I started to say when a stinging slap stopped my words in midsentence. Shocked, I raised my hand to my burning cheek. I couldn’t remember my mom ever hitting me. Anger flared up in me as I looked at her.

  “Oh my God,” she said, dropping to her knees, sobbing. “I’m sorry, Kass, I didn’t mean to hit you. I was just shocked to hear you say your father would have been okay with it,” she choked out.

  The anger left me like a deflated balloon. I sank down on the floor next to her. “Momma, I was serious,” I said, holding her hand. “You just don’t know Maddon. He’s nothing like his father. He’s kind, funny and wouldn’t ever think about hurting anyone,” I said, thinking of the little girl Bethany. “I think I love him,” I whispered.

  “How long have you been seeing him?” she asked, pulling her hand from mine so she could stand up, no longer crying.

  “A week,” I said, knowing it sounded terribly weak to admit I was in love with him after only a week, but she didn’t understand everything we had shared.

  “A week,” she said sarcastically. “A week,” she repeated, laughing incredulously.

  “I know it sounds crazy, Mom, but if you got to know him you’d know why. He’s the funniest person I’ve ever met. He’s so cute, and he makes me feel special,” I said, trying to explain.

  “Have you slept with him?” she asked harshly.

  “That’s none of your business,” I said, shocked by the person she had turned into suddenly.

  “I’m your mother and it is my business. I’m responsible for your actions,” she said in the same harsh tone.

  “That’s rich. Where was your parenting when I needed you so badly after Daddy died? Where were you when Megan needed you?” I demanded. “I’ll tell you where, you were in the nice little pity cave you created for only yourself. You left me to handle everything, my pain, Megan’s pain, and everything in between. Did you care that my friends didn’t understand? Did you care that I felt like my whole world was collapsing in on me? I felt like I had lost not just Dad, but you also. That’s why I cussed out Mr. Mathews and pulled the fire alarm. I was so sick of being alone,” I said, as hot tears poured down my cheeks. Everything I had been holding inside came flowing out of me like an erupting volcano. “It’s because of all of you that I met the one person who does care about me,” I said, sinking down on couch, sobbing uncontrollably.

  The couch dipped down from Mom’s weight as she joined me. “Kass, I’m so sorry,” she said, pulling me into her arms. “I have no excuse for what I did. You’re right. I made you become the adult. I will never be able to apologize enough. I don’t know what happened to me after your father died. It was like something in me died, too. I’m ashamed to admit I let the pain consume me and forgot all about you and Megan. I put my selfish needs ahead of my own children,” she added quietly. “I don’t know how I will ever be able to ask for your forgiveness.”

  “You don’t have to ask,” I said as tears poured down my cheeks. “I know it was hard on you.”

  “Yes, but it was hard on you too,” she said.

  “But I survived with Maddon’s help,” I said, trying to get her to understand.

  She sighed. “Honey, I don’t want you to see him because he’s no different than his father,” she
said, standing up and walking toward the antique desk she used on the far side of the room.

  “Mom, you don’t know him,” I started to protest, but was cut off when she held up a legal envelope.

  “Kass, I do know him in a sense,” she said, extracting some of the papers from the folder.

  “What is that?” I asked confused.

  “It’s a file the prosecutor gave to me. Rick’s case goes in front of the judge after New Year’s. Your friend Maddon is a character witness for his father.”

  “No, he can’t be,” I said, shaking my head. “He hates his father.”

  “Kass, I don’t think any kid really hates their parent,” she said kindly.

  “But he does Mom. His dad used him as a punching bag, daily.”

  “Well, he’s on the public defender’s list and is slotted to show up in front of the judge on January third,” she said, handing me the paper so I could see.

  “This has to be wrong,” I said, looking at Maddon’s name and date of birth listed under the heading, “Character Witnesses.”

  “Kass, Maddon has had his share of run-ins with the law too,” she said, sitting back down beside me.

  “How do you know?” I asked, jumping to my feet aggravated.

  “I know because the prosecutor ran a screening on all of the character witnesses so he can use whatever he can to discredit them.”

  Bile rose up in my throat at the trap they were setting for Maddon. “They couldn’t have found anything on him. He’s practically a boy scout, or I guess you could say a hero,” I said, feeling the whole thing was a misunderstanding. I knew Maddon. He had nothing to hide.

  “Honey, he was arrested for drug charges when he was fourteen.”

  “No, Maddon doesn’t do drugs,” I said, shaking my head in denial.

  “Kass, it’s true. They wound up dropping the charges. Jim thinks they worked a deal since the records have been sealed, but honey he had them in his backpack outside an elementary school when he was arrested.

  The room spun from her words. In all the secrets we had shared during our three-day texting marathon, Maddon had never mentioned being arrested.