Collateral Damage

  "Jade!" I call. "Dinner!"

  I climb onto the barstool and spear a few bites of chicken. The apartment is quiet—the vacuum stopped—but she doesn't emerge.

  "Jaden?"

  Nothing.

  I swallow a mouthful of wine, then move toward the bedroom door, pausing outside to listen. I don't hear a thing, but, when I open it, she's sitting on the other side of the bed, shoulders slumped, defeated.

  And something inside breaks a little at the sight of her.

  "Hey. Dinner's getting cold."

  "I know. I'm coming," she promises. But the response seems too forced—too perky—and, when she swipes her eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, I know she's crying—Jaden, who, even now, hates crying in front of people. I climb across the bed on hands and knees and sit down behind her.

  "Hey. It'll be okay," I promise, massaging her shoulders.

  She nods.

  I push her hair aside and brush gentle kisses along her neck. It's still wet—the back of her shirt is cool and damp. "Come eat with me, please," I beg. "I've hardly seen you all week."

  When she inhales, her chest shudders, and I know this is about more than another bad lab with Dr. Seversky.

  "Look. I know this is tough. I know you're working hard, and you're stressed right now, but this isn't going to last forever. You're so close. If you can just hang in there...."

  "No. It's not that." Her voice gives, cracking with the words.

  "Then what is it?" I hate that her back is turned, that I can't see her eyes. "Talk to me, Jade."

  "I—it was an accident, I swear."

  My heart stutters, skipping a beat or two. "What are you talking about?"

  A strangled sob catches in her throat. She swallows it back, lifts her left hand. I take it in mine, examine the diamond sparkling on her ring finger.

  "It's stuck!"

  That's it? That's what she's crying about?

  I don't know if it's the relief I feel—that it's nothing serious—but I laugh.

  She turns to face me, her eyes a paler shade of green and red at the edges. Exhausted. "I'm so sorry! I was cleaning off the dresser," she explains. "I went into your box to put away your watch and I saw it. I know it was your grandmother's. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have touched it..."

  "Jade," I interrupt.

  "I was curious and I..."

  "Jade."

  "I'll figure out how to get it off, I promise!"

  "Jaden!" I practically yell.

  "What?"

  I take her hand in mine, look her square in the eye. "Relax. It's not a big deal." Heat radiates from her body. I rest the back of my hand against her cheek, brush away tears. "You're still warm from your shower. Come on." I gently pull her to her feet, lead her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. "Sit," I command.

  She slides onto one of the barstools while I grab a cup from the cabinet and a handful of ice from the freezer. She takes a huge gulp of wine, wipes away the remaining tears. "I'm a wreck," she declares as I fill the cup with water. "I have been a wreck for the last four years."

  "Some would argue that you've been a wreck for the last twenty-two years." I place the cup on the counter and stick her ring finger in it. She frowns. "Give it a minute. Once your finger cools it'll fall right off. And, if this doesn't work, we'll try olive oil. Or conditioner."

  She exhales a tired sigh. "I used to have everything under control."

  "You exuded the illusion of control," I remind her. "There's a difference."

  "I have no idea why you put up with me," she says, feeling her forehead. She laughs. "God. I'm so pathetic."

  "No. You're stressed. It's the end of the semester. Exams are coming up. Everyone on campus is pathetic right now."

  "I am stressed," she admits. "But so are you. I mean, you're working and you have classes. You have finals coming up, too. I'm such an inconsiderate girlfriend."

  "You don't have the monopoly on stress, Jaden."

  "I know, but I keep making it all about me."

  "You're fine."

  She polishes off the remaining wine in her glass, sets it back on the counter. "Then tell me how your day was."

  "It was fine," I promise. "Better, now that you're home."

  A burst of color rises to her cheeks. She fingers the stem of that glass, twirling it. I swear to God she tempts me without even trying.

  "I can't really feel my finger anymore," she announces.

  I circle the counter, grabbing a dishtowel on my way, thankful for the distraction. "All right. Let's see what we've got."

  I pull the cup away, wipe the ring dry. Even in the dim light the diamonds shine, sparkling. Brilliant. It's so perfect there on her hand. So beautiful.

  And God, she's beautiful.

  My lungs shrink. I inhale a quick breath, forcing them to fill, and twist the ring carefully, working it down her finger.

  But then she glances up at me, her green eyes pierce mine, and my heart tumbles to my stomach.

  Shit.

  I release her hand. "I can't."

  Her eyes widen. "What? Parker, I swear to God if I ruined this ring..."

  "No. Stop. That's not what I meant. I mean...." I groan, wracking my brain, struggling to find words. "What I mean is I don't want to take it off."

  She studies my lips, my eyes, searching them. "What?"

  "This ring is yours, Jaden. It was always yours. I was just...." I trail off, run fingers through my hair. "I was waiting for the right time to ask you."

  Her eyes narrow.

  I lift her hand to my lips, kiss her fingers. "Jaden...," I breathe.

  "Oh my God!" She throws her free hand over her mouth; fresh tears tumble down her cheeks. "Oh my God! I ruined it, didn't I? I ruined everything!"

  "No. You didn't ruin anything," I assure her. "Jaden, I..."

  "Oh my God, Parker. I can't believe..."

  "Okay, can you maybe shut up for a minute and a half so I can get this out?" I ask.

  "I'm sorry. Yes," she whispers.

  "Thank you. What I'm trying to say—and not very successfully—is that I love you. I've loved you since the day you barged into that bathroom and called me a slacker. I don't care that you went snooping around my things and got my Grandma's ring stuck on your finger." She flushes a deeper shade of pink, and I can't help but smile. "We'll get it re-sized. It's yours. I want you to have it because I want to marry you. God, you have no idea. I want to marry you more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. I want this—I want us—forever."

  I let go of her hand, reach into my back pocket for my wallet. I open it, remove two sheets of paper creased again and again, folded and re-folded a hundred times over.

  "Graduation is in a few weeks," I remind her. "And then you have the Ecuador trip, and classes will start again. So, I was wondering...." I drop to one knee and gaze up at her sitting perfectly on that barstool—her perfect red eyes and nose and smeared eyeliner and perfect wet hair. "Jaden Elizabeth McEntyre? Will you go to Fiji with me so I can propose to you the proper way?"

  She grabs the papers, unfolds them, shock etching itself into each of her beautiful features—the widening of her eyes, the "O" of her lips. "Plane tickets?" she asks, disbelieving.

  "Maybe."

  "You're taking me to Fiji?" she squeals.

  "Possibly."

  "Are you kidding? Oh my God!" She laughs, slides off the stool and into my arms. I rise to my full height as she plants the softest, sweetest kisses on my lips. I will never tire of these lips. That smile. Her laugh. I will never stop wanting to make her happy.

  She pulls away, tucks her still-damp hair behind her ears. "Wait. So...are you officially asking me to marry you?"

  "That depends. Are you officially saying yes? Because we can always wait for Fiji. Pretend this night never happened. If, you know, we can pry that ring off your finger," I tease.

  Her smile—this huge, amazing smile—sends chills rippling across my skin. And suddenly she's kissing me, hungry, her
tongue teasing my lips, setting the world on fire. My hand slips beneath her shirt, touches the small of her back, melts against her warm skin.

  "That sounds like a yes to me," I say, pulling her tighter against me, dragging gentle kisses across her jaw line.

  "That's a hell yes," she murmurs.

  "So...we're getting married?" I ask, lips tracing the contour of her neck, already picturing those jeans of hers on the floor.

  "We're getting married," she confirms, leaning into me. I'm two seconds away from suggesting we take dinner into the bedroom when she jerks back.

  "I have to call my mom! Wait...my dad. Did you talk to them or anything? Do they know about this?"

  "No," I confess. "I didn't talk to your parents."

  "Did I rush things? Do you think we should wait before telling anyone?"

  "I don't think so. I mean, I didn't talk to your parents. There was actually someone else...." I lift a finger. "Hold on a second."

  I grab my cell phone from the counter and scroll through my contacts.

  When it comes to permission to marry Jaden McEntyre, I knew going in that it wasn't her dad's blessing I needed. "Hey, it's Parker," I say as soon as I hear the voice on the other end. "Jaden has something she wants to tell you."

  She eyes me curiously, brow furrowing, as I put the call on speakerphone.

  "Hello?" she asks, suspicious.

  "Jaden?"

  Her lips break into a huge grin, eyes lighting. "Daniel?" She laughs. "You will never guess what just happened!"

  And as I stare at the girl of my dreams, staring back at me, I marvel at how the universe can know better than we know. How everything can change in one moment, one second, one blink of an eye. How that everything can be all we ever hoped for and more.

  Our very own crystal clearness after a long stretch of sunless cold.

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  An Interview with Katie Klein

  I'm shocked this story saw the light of day. You were so secretive about it.

  I know. Immediately after I published Cross My Heart, I started getting fan mail from readers who wanted more. I wasn't really interested in writing a sequel, because that meant creating MORE problems for Parker and Jaden, and really, I felt they'd endured enough. I was playing with the idea of a companion book, though. I felt Parker deserved to have his side of the story told. I had one false start with this book not too long after Cross My Heart came out, but it wasn't working, so I focused on finishing my Guardian series instead. When I came back to it (like, a year and a half later!) I was ready to sit down and tell Parker's side of things.

  I was vague about the project itself because, quite frankly, I was worried I couldn't pull it off. I have some amazing, die-hard Parker and Jaden fans, and I didn't want to disappoint them.

  How did you come up with the title?

  Collateral damage is, by definition, "unintended consequences," usually toward someone other than the intended target. In this case, it's a perfect fit. Parker doesn't set out to hurt Jaden—he's just trying to do his job. He never planned to fall in love with her, and he never planned for her to be at the school the afternoon he tried to set Vince up. Jaden suffers big-time, but that was never Parker's intention. It was just an awful consequence (or side effect) because of who he really was.

  I'm still picking up some Ethan Frome references throughout this book.

  Yes! There are a lot of connections in both Cross My Heart and Collateral Damage to Ethan Frome. The story lines don't mirror perfectly, but the themes are there: forbidden love, danger, uncertainty. Thankfully, my books have happier endings.

  What about the red folder? When Parker turns in his essays to Ms. Tugwell, she's excited to see the red folder.

  That's because red was a key color in Ethan Frome. It was very symbolic. In the same way, that "Harvard" crimson color was important in both CMH and CD.

  So I got the feeling that, even though he was undercover, high school was important to Parker. What's that about?

  You're right. This was more than just an undercover assignment for Parker. He screwed up in high school the first time around (partying, drugs, poor grades), so it's really important for him to get it right this time. It's more than just a job—he's aiming for a do-over, to prove to himself that he could've succeeded years ago if he cared enough to try.

  And his name was really Christopher?

  Yep. But Jaden only knew him as Parker. Truth is, I think taking the undercover job and the new name were both ways for him to create an entirely new person. He says so himself: he's more Parker than he ever was Christopher. Switching schools usually allows the opportunity for someone to reinvent him/herself. I think Parker was definitely trying to escape his past.

  Speaking of which, his past was eerily similar to Daniel's, only with a different outcome. Was that planned?

  Not at first, but the more I wrote, the more connections I started to see. Jaden never specifically mentions Daniel's arrest in Cross My Heart, but we know that her brothers were wild, and that they were friends with Vince. She mentions Phillip sneaking home late, and there's a conversation about both boys skipping school a lot—so we know the history is there. Jaden focused more on the present, though, instead of his past. She was more aware of Daniel and Sarah getting pregnant before they were ready, but how everything worked out for them in the end.

  The difference between Daniel and Parker is that Parker's girlfriend's father was able to get him off the hook. I'm sure he was relieved at the time, but later this becomes a huge problem for Parker since he essentially owes everything he is to Mr. Donovan.

  At the end of the day, both Parker and Daniel have some things about their pasts they wish they could change.

  Speaking of Mr. Donovan and Callie, I had no clue Parker was engaged to someone when he was running around with Jaden. That's so wrong!

  Yeah, it kind of is.

  That's it? That's all you have to say about it? But I thought Parker was perfect!

  Yeah, see, the thing about perfect people? They're always hiding something. Parker says so himself. So let's talk about mistakes for a second.

  Parker is in a really tough spot when the book opens. He's dated his high school sweetheart for four years, and now she thinks they're getting married. (When she stumbles across the engagement ring, Parker doesn't correct her, and really, he has no reason to.) There's nothing wrong between them—they've dated for a while, they're employed—of course marriage is the logical "next step," even if they are kind of young.

  And this is where things fall apart. Parker is perfect for Jaden. Jaden is perfect for Parker. At the end of both stories, they are wildly in love, and they're going to work out. Their love is the forever kind of love that some people spend their whole lives looking for. At the same time, they aren't perfect people.

  Parker isn't perfect. He's made mistakes. Callie becomes one of those mistakes. And, by the time they break up, she probably sees him as the worst mistake she's ever made. Jaden isn't perfect, either. And we don't get to hear his side of things, but after Jaden runs off with Parker, I'm pretty sure Blake considers her a mistake, too.

  There is that person out there who is perfect for us, but, until we meet him or her, we'll have "mistakes." We will most likely be someone else's mistake. That doesn't make us terrible people—we're just human, trying to figure it all out. That's how I see both Parker and Jaden.

  Yeah, but Callie and Parker were engaged!

  When I went off to college, I was engaged to my high school sweetheart, too (though I use the term "engaged" rather loosely). Truth is, the long distance thing became too hard for us, and...I actually met someone else. With all the drama that surrounded that time period of my life, I consider that high school guy a mistake. I'm sure I'm his mistake, too. At the same time, that "someone else" I met? We got engaged for real a few years later. And my mistake? He's married now, too.

  Am I saying high school sweethearts can't make it work? Absolutely not! I know several couples doing it
right now. At the same time, sometimes life happens—and that's okay, too. It's part of the whole story—the bigger picture. For Parker and Callie and Blake and Jaden, life happened.

  And you know...Ethan and Zeena were married.

  I guess that makes sense. Is Callie okay, though?

  Absolutely. After she gets over the initial shock of Parker's confession, and after some quality girlfriend/ice cream/chocolate time, she's going to bounce back. I actually see her re-assessing her life's goals, in that maybe she was too comfortable with Parker—that she settled into a life she was okay with, when she could've done more. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's going to go after that law degree she spent years running from.

  I noticed that, between the two books, Daniel and Parker share many of the same feelings about weddings.

  Yeah, they do. In fact, at one point in both Cross My Heart and Collateral Damage, they both say: "Just tell me where I need to be and when I need to be there." For Parker, though, I think the lack of interest lies in the fact that he knows, deep down, that he's not ready to get married, or even that he and Callie aren't "meant to be." When he proposes to Jaden, it's obvious his whole attitude has changed. For one, he actually proposes. Also, he can't even wait for Fiji, so he proposes earlier than he planned. I think he's going to be a lot more "on board" with a wedding with Jaden than he ever was with Callie.

  So we know from the Cross My Heart Q and A that this whole story was inspired by the song "November Rain" by Guns 'N Roses. What other songs made it to your playlist for this story?

  Since I essentially told the same story, quite a few of the songs overlap playlists, but here's a list of the songs I frequently turned to for inspiration: