When Angels Cry
“Well, he could have been, considering the way he looks. Who in the hell is he, and why is he here?”
“None of your goddamned business, Mother.” Kaylee watched Bastian clench his eyes shut and swallow hard.
“Maybe I should go,” he whispered, trying hard not to lean on her but rather to support himself. Damned if his head wasn’t still swimming.
“I have a better idea. Maybe she should.” Kaylee shook her head.
“It’s rude to whisper,” Denna snapped.
“Is this okay?” Kaylee nodded toward the couch.
“It’s better than the floor,” Bastian said and lay down.
“I said it’s rude to whisper.”
Kaylee whirled and stepped close to her mother so she could pick up her purse and hand it to Denna. “You’re right. It is. But you’re the rudest one here. Maybe you should go find a charity event to attend. After all, it’s a hobby you enjoy, and I’m sure there’s one around here somewhere. God knows, being around a person this economically deprived can’t be healthy for you.”
“I was trying to keep your house safe. How could I know he was a guest?” She rifled through her purse until she’d found her keys.
“You might have asked. But talking to someone of his sort would be beneath you, wouldn’t it?” She sat next to Bastian and stared at him until her mother turned to leave. Kaylee lightly stroked his forehead.
Denna glared once more at Bastian and strode out, slamming the door behind her.
“I told you to lock your damned door,” Bastian managed through clenched teeth. “Otherwise, who knows what might walk through?”
Kaylee smiled. “I guess you have a point. Well, now that you’ve met my mother, how do you feel?”
Bastian shook his head and groaned slightly. “Glad I decided to put my jeans on. God only knows what she would have aimed at otherwise.”
Chapter Ten
Bastian’s head ached hours after Denna had gone. He sat on the couch, Kaylee’s head in his lap. Her long tresses spilled across his lap and over the cushions. He heard the heating unit kick on. Although the sound did not wake Kaylee, she flinched and muttered something unintelligible. Bastian stroked her face. Despite the heater, the cold air kissed his skin, forcing Bastian to put on his shirt. He touched his right side where the Taser had struck.
Bastian stretched. “How in the hell could something so small hurt that much?” he grumbled. The sudden shift woke Kaylee from her catnap.
“How do you feel?” Nestling her head ever closer to him, she smiled, her eyes half-hidden in the dark silk of her hair.
Bastian touched his throbbing temple. “I still have a headache, but at least it’s attached to the rest of my body.”
Kaylee sat up. “I’m sorry. I should have expected her to pop in like that.”
“It’s okay. It doesn’t surprise me that she carries a Taser.” He brushed a stray lock from her flushed, sleepy face.
“She’s not exactly the warm and fuzzy mother some people have. Still, I guess I should be thankful for what I have, shouldn’t I?” Kaylee shrugged. Lifting her arms over her head, she stretched her back.
“Maybe we all should. What are your plans for today?” Bastian stood, walked across the room, and looked outside, finding a blue sky and bright sunlight so uncommon during winter’s curse. The overwhelming brilliance seemed hard to believe considering the previous storm. A few branches bobbed calmly in the breeze. He propped his arm on the sill and lost himself in the sunlight.
“I didn’t have any plans, except to spend the day with you.” Kaylee stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist as she laid her head on his back. Bastian patted her hand and twined his fingers with hers.
“I have a place I’d like to take you, if you’re game.” He closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of her touch.
Kaylee squeezed his hand. “Of course I’m game. Where do you want to go?”
“I just want to get some air.” Bastian went to the hall closet and pulled out their coats. Before he slipped into his, he helped Kaylee put on hers. Together, they stepped into the brilliant sunlight, and Kaylee pointed to her car.
“Why don’t you drive my Mercedes? I know you worry your truck won’t start.” Without waiting for a response, Kaylee tossed the keys to Bastian and walked toward it.
Bastian started to protest, but Kaylee was already waiting at the passenger door. She could be so damned stubborn when she wanted. Resigned, he unlocked the car, wondering if he should open Kaylee’s door for her. Kaylee beat him to it. Bastian, too, got in and started the engine. Immediately, it revved to life and idled softly, awaiting his command. He shifted to first gear and pulled out of the driveway, the weight of his foot uneven on the gas pedal.
“Is there a problem with the car?” She folded her hands in her lap.
“It’s the driver, not the car. Let’s just say it’s been years since I’ve had such a pleasure.” Once on the road, Bastian shifted to second.
Kaylee settled against the seat and smiled, closing her eyes. “Tell me when we get there.”
“Don’t worry,” he replied. “You’ll be the second to know.” He shifted into third. “How was the soup kitchen?” Bastian stopped at an intersection and turned left, heading toward the city.
“Good–except one of our regulars didn’t attend. Rosie and the others wanted to know where he might have been.” Kaylee stretched her arms over her head and yawned.
“And did you tell them you’d kidnapped me?”
Kaylee laughed. “Nope, but I guess you could always mail them a ransom note.”
“That implies I want to be rescued.” Bastian took Kaylee’s hand.
“Don’t you?” Kaylee squeezed his fingers.
“Not on your life,” he said softly. “I love being with you.”
After a moment, the two of them lapsed into a silence broken only by the purr of the engine. After a time, Bastian turned left and parked in the same spot his truck had been the night he’d met Kaylee. For a second, he closed his eyes and remembered how she had stumbled past. Even then, she had made him see beyond himself. More than that, she had made him want to live.
“We’re here.” He opened the passenger door, took Kaylee’s hand, and helped her out.
Looking around, she smiled. “Nice choice.”
“Glad you approve. I wouldn’t want you to be bored or anything.” Bastian took her hand and lead her toward the pond. The wind carried the scent of the French bread baking at the deli across the street. As a cold breeze made them both shiver, Bastian slid his arm around Kaylee and guided her.
Kaylee laid her head on his shoulder. “You’ve never had a boring day in your life.”
“I don’t intend to start now,” Bastian said as they reached the pond. A few couples sat on benches near a playground where a handful of kids scurried around swings and slides. To his left he spotted an empty bench. A few ducks pecked at the dirt, looking for left-over bread crumbs. The birds peered at them, noticed their empty hands, and quickly dispersed, heading toward another newly arrived couple, the woman carrying a bag of popcorn.
“Have a seat,” Bastian said, helping Kaylee lower herself to the bench. Once she’d been seated, Bastian draped his arm around her shoulders and looked at her. Her nose was slightly red from the cold air, as were her cheeks. Her long, dark hair fell toward her face, curling in loose rings. She was so damned beautiful that sometimes it took his breath away. How could she be so perfect, so good, and yet dying? He had just learned to love her. How would he ever learn to let her go? His fingers threatened to ball into a fist. He forced his shoulders to relax.
“I love the park.” Kaylee focused on the ducks, two of which stood to Kaylee’s left, eyeing her curiously.
“Not just any park--our park.” Bastian brushed his hand up and down her arm as he held her close. He pulled a few slices of bread still wrapped in plastic from his jacket pocket. “I brought this in case you wanted to feed them.”
 
; “Thank you.” She grabbed a slice of bread for each of them. A duck stared expectantly at her, waddling closer.
Bastian pointed at the bird. “Looks like your first customer.”
Kaylee tore off a bite of bread and threw it to the bird. The duck caught it and gulped it down, moving closer to Kaylee’s outstretched hand, where another piece dangled.
“Greedy, aren’t you?” She dropped the bread and moved her hand away.
“You’ve made a friend.” Bastian tore his bread into pieces and flung them to the other birds.
For a moment, Kaylee watched the ducks as they cocked their heads to the side. From her peripheral vision, she saw two toddlers running beside the pond, trying to catch the ducks.
“I wish I could be two and have it all figured out.” She brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. “Those kids think they want the ducks. It doesn’t matter if they ever catch them. It’s all about being satisfied with longing.”
“Yeah, but they can’t remember anything, and they’re stuck in soggy diapers. That sounds like an appealing life, don’t you think?” He patted Kaylee’s knee.
“But isn’t there is some peace in not wanting to know why you were born and when you’re going to die and what everything in the middle means? Wouldn’t it be bliss if the only thing you had to think about was ducks?” Kaylee grabbed his hand and squeezed. She stared at the kids and swallowed hard.
“I can think about ducks, but I’d rather think about you.” Bastian squeezed her hand in return.
“I’m serious, Bastian.” Kaylee shook her head. She looked toward the ducks and tore the remaining slice of bread into chunks she threw out toward the water.
“So am I. Give me your hand.” He smiled at her.
“Why?” She shoved it into her jacket pocket, frowning at his mischievous grin.
“I’ve run out of bread, and I’m going to feed it to the ducks.” Grabbing her wrist, he wrested her hand from the pocket and lifted it to his chest. “Now close your eyes.” He settled his hand over hers. “Can you feel that? The heartbeat?”
Eyes closed, Kaylee nodded, enjoying the northern breeze teasing through her hair. Her lips parted slightly, and the line of her mouth slowly bowed upward in a supple arch. Long eyelashes rested against her skin.
“They’re the same, Kaylee, like one heartbeat, not two. I used to wonder why I was here. After I met you, I knew.” Bastian set his hand against her chest, his fingers searching until he felt the beating of her heart. Kaylee’s eyes fluttered open.
“What do you mean?”
“Always before I’d chosen to do whatever. It was a decision I made. I could go to college. I could get a job. I could work on my art. I could do whatever I wanted. Until I met you. Then it seemed I had no choice at all. All the decisions had been made.”
Bastian touched her face, trickling his fingers across her cheek. Strands of her hair lifted in the breeze and tickled the back of his hand Inhaling sharply, Kaylee jerked from Bastian.
“You don’t have to stay and take care of me, Bastian. I don’t want to be anyone’s burden—my friends’, my mother’s, and least of all yours.” She started back to the car. “Perhaps we should go.”
“That’s not what I meant. You’re not a burden.” Bastian stepped in front of her, cutting her off. Thick strands of Kaylee’s hair blew into her face, and she jerked them from her eyes.
“I think I’ve taken up quite enough of your time. You probably have more important things to do than babysit.” She tried to walk around him, but Bastian placed his hands on her shoulders and stopped her.
“You don’t believe me, do you? You think I can’t leave you alone because of your illness? You think I see it as a responsibility—”
“The only person who is responsible for me is me.” Kaylee stared at the ground, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Look at me. Let me finish what I was trying to say.” Bastian thrust his fingers under her chin, forcing her to face him.
“Okay, then finish.” She took a deep breath and planted her feet, brushing his hand away and staring at her feet.
“Can we sit back down? Please?” Bastian put his hands on his hips. He needed something to do with them. Frowning, he tried to think of the words he really didn’t want to say but knew he had to. He pointed to the bench. Kaylee slowly sat, and Bastian joined her, resting his hand on her knee and staring at the pond.
“The night we met changed me,” he said finally. “From the moment I pulled you from the water, I sensed something about you. I couldn’t have told you then what it was. I’m not even sure I can now. But you changed me, lady.”
“I don’t understand.” Kaylee wrapped her arms around herself as a harsher breeze whipped at them, carrying with it a biting cold that numbed her cheeks and stung her ears. As her hair blew upward, the cold brushed the back of her neck and shivered. Noticing Kaylee’s trembling, Bastian slid his arm around her and drew her to him.
“Geez, where do I start?” He nervously brushed his hand up and down her arm. “I’m not like you, Kaylee. I’m a nothing, a nobody. I’m one of the ghosts who walks around this city that nobody really sees.”
“That’s not true. Everyone wondered about you at the soup kitchen.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’ve no family to speak of, Kaylee. My dad disowned me, and I can’t face my sister, not considering the failure I’ve become—”
“You’re not a failure,” Kaylee argued, savagely tugging the stray hair from in front of her face. “You’ve just had some hard luck. There’s no shame in that.”
“Before I met you, nobody would have noticed if I’d fallen off the face of the earth. I had all these problems, and I thought there was only one solution: a bullet. I had the gun loaded. I sat in my pick-up, drinking enough courage to ‘fix’ things. Then I saw you almost mown down by a car and then almost drown.” Bastian shook his head as though he were trying to shake the images from his mind.
Kaylee stiffened. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know. But that gave me a reason to put the gun down and help you. It made me forget about things. You saw me as your protector, and for a while, that scared the hell out of me. But every day since, you’ve given me a reason not to pick up that gun. I might have pulled you out of that freezing water, but anyone could have done that. Most anybody would have. But nobody else could have done what you did for me. You saved me. Then you loved me and let me love you in return.” He looked at Kaylee and rested his hand atop hers, lacing his fingers with hers. Kaylee leaned against his shoulder and squeezed his hand.
“I wish time would stop here and now,” she whispered.
“Me, too.” He kissed her forehead.
They sat together, watching the ducks as a handful of them flapped their wings and lifted into flight.
“I’d like to show you something now. We can even walk there,” Kaylee said, abruptly standing and pulling Bastian to his feet. Together they ambled from the duck pond, heading up the steps.
“Where are we going?” Bastian peered at the sky, noting the thick clouds at the horizon freighted with new snow.
“It’s a surprise,” Kaylee answered.
“Why does that sound familiar?” Bastian laughed.
“I know you’ll love it.” Kaylee rolled her eyes.
Bastian leaned over and pecked her cheek. “Not half as much as I love you.”
They reached the top of the steps to find the chaos of rush hour traffic surging in front of them. Horns blared, and traffic lights blinked. Bastian held Kaylee tightly to him, remembering again the night he’d met her. Then, he wouldn’t have known what it would’ve been like to lose Kaylee; now, he didn’t want to know. A chill shook him, and he saw the first flakes of the storm fall on his dark jacket. The clouds on the horizon drifted ever closer. Another front was coming.
They waited together at a stoplight, and once the “Walk” sign had flashed, they crossed. Kaylee led him down the street, finally stopping before a tall building. r />
“Here we are.”
“What the hell? What are we doing here?” A huge sign that said “Renard Art Studio” loomed before them. The moment Bastian saw it, he released Kaylee’s hand and shook his head. He stepped back from the building, glaring at Kaylee. His breathing quickened, and he balled his fingers into fists that tapped together nervously.
“I want to introduce you to Rosie and show you your office.” Kaylee gestured at the door.
“My new office? What are you talking about?” Bastian took another step backward. His voice thundered above the traffic.
Kaylee touched his arm. “I was looking for an art teacher, and I found you. That just goes to show this was meant to be. You were meant to come here.”
“I’m not a teacher, dammit. I keep telling you that.” Bastian shrugged off her touch and glowered at her.
“You are now. I called Rosie earlier and told her I’d be bringing in the new instructor to get ready for the classes starting next week.”
“I can’t do this, Kaylee.” Bastian braced his shoulders. All color had left his face, and he tilted his head toward the ground, closing his eyes and shaking his head. A Buick with a broken muffler sped past and honked loudly.
She ignored the noise and the awful exhaust while she lifted Bastian’s hand and placed it over her heart. “Feel that?” She waited until he nodded. “It says you can.”
Bastian shook his head and started to argue with her. “I—”
“Ssh. All I’m asking is that you try. If you absolutely hate it, you can do something different, and I won’t say a word. But at least try.” Kaylee put her fingertip to his lips.
“You’re stubborn.”
“Glad you noticed.” Kaylee smiled, and, standing on tiptoes, she kissed his neck. She led him through the revolving glass door to a desk where a tall, African-American woman sat typing. Two large vases of white orchids stood on either side of the counter, in front of the desk. As the woman looked up, her eyes widened in surprise. A smile beamed across her face as she rushed from behind the desk.
“Well, if it ain’t Kaylee and her prince. I’m Rosie Blanchard.” She winked at Kaylee and offered her hand to Bastian.