Johnny's Girl

  ‘He’s a much stronger man these days, Mrs Jefferson.’

  ‘Did he tell you to say that, too?’ I ask wryly.

  ‘No. That came from me.’

  ‘And call me Meg, for crying out loud. How many times do I have to tell you?’

  He laughs a deep laugh. ‘I haven’t heard a champagne cork popping.’

  ‘Oh, alright then, you bully,’ I joke.

  I pull out the champagne and look down at the bottle with its pretty vintage flower climbing up the side. I suppose I’ve got to start trusting Johnny not to cave under pressure. I won’t drink too much. I unwrap the foil at the top, just as we arrive at Kitty’s house. She comes out of the door – she’s obviously been waiting. She’s not working tonight. It’s Dex’s gig – the guy that she’s been having an in-work flirtation with. Nothing has happened between them – yet. Maybe tonight will be the night…

  Kitty looks gorgeous in a floor-skimming, burnt orange maxi dress. Her curly hair is down and falling well past her shoulders. I’m wearing my hair down, too, but I’ve tonged it to give it a tousled look. I’m wearing shimmering green eye-make-up and lipgloss.

  ‘Hi!’ she exclaims, climbing into the car and calling back her thanks to Davey. She spies the bottle. ‘I hope that’s not all for me.’

  ‘How about we share?’

  ‘Yay! I’m so pleased you’re drinking with me!’ she exclaims, clapping like an over-excited child.

  I laugh and pop the cork, and she takes the two champagne glasses from between my knees and holds them out for me to pour in some of the fizzy pink bubbly.

  ‘Cheers!’ she says as Davey pulls smoothly away from the curb.

  ‘Cheers!’ We chink glasses and I take a sip. Mmm, yummy.

  ‘I love your dress,’ I say. ‘Making a bit more of an effort these days, hmm? Is that for the benefit of a certain someone?’

  She laughs. ‘Might be. Trust me, I need all the help I can get.’ She takes a large gulp of her champagne.

  ‘I’m looking forward to meeting him,’ I say with delight.

  Davey drives us right up to the red carpet. We climb out to the sound of deafening screams and the flashes of paparazzi cameras. This is the first premiere I’ve been to for years – since I was last in LA – and I still remember that buzz of excitement that comes from walking down the red carpet. The celebrities take their time, signing autographs and posing for pictures, but Kitty and I wander along towards the cinema entrance without pausing.

  Then I hear my name being shouted. I look over my shoulder at the pool of photographers behind the ropes, and a few more of them call for ‘Meg’ to come and pose for some pictures. Kitty smiles and guides me back towards them, standing on the sidelines while I pose for the cameras, feeling incredibly surreal about how I’m considered a somebody these days.

  ‘Meg Jefferson?’

  I turn around to see a beautiful, blonde TV presenter with a microphone in her hand. A man holding a television camera stands to her right.

  ‘Hi.’ I try to appear relaxed.

  ‘No Johnny tonight?’ she asks with a friendly smile.

  ‘He’s coming along later,’ I tell her.

  ‘More of a party man, less of a film-goer?’ she teases.

  ‘Well, he’s not really into partying much these days, either,’ I reply with a wink. ‘At least, not like in the old days.’

  ‘Too busy being a husband and a father?’

  I grin. ‘You could say that.’

  ‘Enjoy the film,’ she says amiably, turning away to grab the next celebrity on the red carpet.

  I walk over to Kitty, trying not to look too much like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

  She giggles. ‘You’re a celebrity now, get used to it.’

  ‘Never,’ I mutter under my breath.

  The film is brilliant. Romantic and sexy with a dark, sinister side, and the edgy lead actor, Hugh Michael, is super hot.

  Davey collects us to drive us up the hill to Chateau Marmont.

  ‘Do you know if Johnny still intends to come?’ I ask him.

  ‘I believe so.’

  He was still in the studio when I set off. Annie is looking after the boys tonight. I send her a quick text to check that all is okay. She responds immediately to tell me that they’re fast asleep. Next I text Johnny asking what time he’s planning to come. He doesn’t reply, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes he doesn’t bother checking his phone for hours, and he certainly won’t if he’s having a late one at the studio. I put my phone back into my bag and then Kitty and I pour ourselves another glass of Perrier-Jouët.

  Modelled loosely on a castle in the Loire Valley, Chateau Marmont is partly obscured by lush, green vegetation and is situated on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. Davey drops us at the front and we head straight through the opulent interior to the garden, where champagne and cocktails are already flowing freely.

  We nab a spot near the door where the canapés are emerging and giggle as we swipe a few, then we go and find ourselves somewhere to sit down.

  ‘Just like old times.’ I laugh as I chink Kitty’s glass of champagne and tuck into the few canapés I’ve collected on a paper napkin.

  ‘Well, whaddaya know, it’s Little Bo Peep.’

  My stomach lurches at the sound of this voice and my eyes shoot upwards to take in Dana Reed, former Next Big Thing in Music and Johnny’s ex-girlfriend. She’s wearing six-inch wedges, black hotpants and a see-through top. Her long, dark hair has been twisted into a messy topknot, her skin is as pale as ever, her eye make-up as dark and her lipstick as red. My instincts tell me that her appearance is not the only thing that has remained unchanged: she’s still a total bitch.

  ‘Wow, that’s so classy of you,’ she says sardonically, nodding down at the napkin of canapés in my hand. She’s still stick-thin, but her face looks gaunter than it did a few years ago. Still taking drugs, at a guess. Rage rushes through me. I hate her. Hate, hate, hate her!

  ‘Meg Stiles,’ she says slowly. ‘I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.’

  ‘You mean Meg Jefferson.’ Kitty finds her voice before I do.

  Dana laughs a horrid, tinkly laugh, but her gaze is trained on me. ‘Of course! I heard about your nuptials. Big congratulations. How’s it all going?’ Complete and utter sarcasm.

  ‘Very well, so kind of you to ask,’ I reply with no trace of a smile on my face.

  ‘Give it time,’ she warns with a devilish smile. ‘That bad boy won’t stay tamed for long.’

  I literally want to kill her. It’s a serious effort to reign myself in. ‘Would you like a canapé?’ I ask sweetly, offering up my napkin. ‘You look like you’re about to collapse.’

  Kitty sniggers beside me. Dana’s eyes narrow. ‘You might think you’ve won-’

  ‘It’s not a competition,’ I cut her off. ‘But you’ll always be a loser.’ Now fuck off and leave me in peace, you pathetic piece of shit.

  I have no idea how I manage to stop this last sentence from coming out of my mouth.

  Her expression wavers, but then she forces another laugh. ‘Give Johnny my love. I’m sure we’ll see each other round, now he’s back in LA.’

  ‘Oh, fuck off and leave me in peace, you pathetic piece of shit.’

  Whoops. Couldn’t stop it coming out that time. Kitty guffaws, her eyes wide with surprise, and I defiantly pop another canapé in my mouth, even though I’ve lost my appetite.

  ‘You heard the girl, scat!’ Kitty says to Dana, then: ‘Hey look, there’s Joseph Strike!’ She ignores a po-faced Dana, pointing straight past her to the tall, dark and utterly gorgeous film star that I once had a fling with.

  Back then, Joseph proved to be a pretty good distraction from Johnny’s evil ex, and here he is rescuing me from my foe again – in a different way this time, obviously. ‘Let’s go and say hi.’

  Before I can object, Kitty stands up and pulls me to my feet. I have a choice: stay here with Dana, or follow her over to Jose
ph. I would prefer not to do either – Joseph is in my past, and I know Johnny would hate it if he saw me talking to him. But his druggy ex-girlfriend made my life miserable. And, right now, my priority is to get away from her.

  ‘He’s with Dex,’ Kitty says over her shoulder. No wonder she’s in such a hurry to go and talk to them.

  I follow Kitty, but while doing so, dig into my bag and pull out my phone. I call Johnny.

  ‘Where the hell are you?’ I hiss into the receiver as his voicemail picks up. ‘Dana is here and I could really do with your support.’ To my dismay, I realise I’m fighting back tears. ‘I’m about to go and say hi to Joseph Strike, so get your arse here ASAP.’ I end the call, instantly despising myself for that pathetic attempt to make Johnny jealous. Dana makes me feel deeply insecure – she always has – but I should be over it by now, and I’m angry with myself that I’m not. I’ll call Johnny back in a minute, I decide, watching Kitty as she greets Dex and Joseph. He’s not answering his phone anyway – is he still in the studio? That’s weird: it’s so late.

  ‘Hey,’ I hear Joseph reply, shaking Kitty’s hand and flashing her an easy smile. ‘Good to see you again.’

  My heart is still racing with adrenalin after my encounter with Dana, but now it’s racing in a different way. I’m about to face Joseph again, and so much has changed since I last saw him. A memory of our last date comes back to me: him naked and making love to me in the bedroom of his small, messy student-like flat. Now he’s a full-on A-lister – Hollywood’s hottest.

  He looks much how I remember him: tall with short, dark hair and brown eyes. He’s wearing a slim-fitting black suit with a white shirt covering up what I know is a perfect body.

  This suddenly feels very wrong. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to be here. I want to be at home with Johnny, safe in his arms. Where is he? I want to turn and run, but then Joseph spots me and his eyes open wide and his face breaks into the biggest grin.

  ‘Meg!’ he exclaims, reaching past Kitty to grab my arm. ‘How the hell are you?’

  He seems so pleased to see me that some of my bad feelings dispel.

  I force a smile. ‘I’m good, thanks.’

  He pulls me in for a quick hug, kissing my cheek. I register that his aftershave smells familiar. He stares down at me with dark-brown eyes. ‘I heard you got married! Congratulations, that’s so cool!’

  I can’t help blushing. ‘Thanks,’ I reply, wishing I could chill out.

  ‘Wow.’ He shakes his head. ‘And you have two kids now?’

  ‘That’s right.’ Finally my smile is genuinely. ‘Barney and Phoenix. Barney has just turned four, and Phoenix is about to turn one.’

  ‘You’ve just moved back to LA, yeah?’

  ‘Yes. Johnny needed to be here for work.’ I shrug, finally pulling myself together. ‘Am I right in thinking that you’re with someone now?’ I ask him.

  ‘Yeah.’ His eyes light up. ‘Alice. My girl.’

  ‘Have you been together long?’

  ‘I knew her years ago, well before…’ He looks around him. ‘You know.’ Well before he was famous, I’m assuming he means. ‘We’re engaged.’

  ‘Oh, that is so lovely, congratulations!’ I say in a high-pitched voice.

  ‘Is that Dana Reed over there?’ Joseph suddenly asks.

  My lips turn down, but I don’t follow the line of his sight. ‘Afraid so.’

  ‘Last time I saw her she was lit up like a Christmas tree.’ He grins. ‘Do you remember?’

  I can’t help but laugh. It was at the Halloween party and she went dressed as an angel. ‘How could I forget. And you were rocking your Karate Kid look.’ That was the night we slept together. Argh! I don’t want to think about that now! I take a small step backwards to include Kitty and Dex in our conversation. I haven’t even said hello to Dex, yet. I rectify that now.

  ‘I’m Meg, by the way.’ I smile at him.

  ‘Sorry, I should have made the introductions,’ Joe apologises. ‘Dex works at the studio.’ I know this of course.

  ‘Nice to meet you,’ I say, shaking his hand.

  ‘Great to meet you, too. Kitty’s always talking about you.’

  ‘Likewise,’ I reply with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘I might grab another champagne,’ Kitty says smoothly. ‘You want one, Meg?’ She gives me a pointed look, warning me not to give away anything about her feelings for the office hottie.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘You boys want anything?’

  ‘Sure,’ Dex says, affectionately touching her wrist. I can sense their chemistry from here.

  ‘Nah, I’m good,’ Joseph replies. ‘I’m going to shoot off in a bit.’

  I’m disappointed to hear this. Talking to him again has reminded me how much I liked him in the first place – and he doesn’t seem to have changed much. It would be nice if we could be friends, but that will never happen if Johnny has anything to do with it. I don’t imagine Alice would be too thrilled by the idea, either. ‘Well, if I don’t see you again…’ I say regretfully.

  ‘We’ll bump into each other,’ he brushes me off, his dark eyes full of warmth. ‘LA is a small town.’

  ‘It’s good to see you, anyway,’ I say sincerely. ‘And I’m so happy to see you doing so well.’ I feel compelled to tell him this, just in case I don’t get another chance. ‘I always knew that you would.’

  ‘It’s good to see you too, Mystic Meg,’ he jokes. Then he touches my arm affectionately and I turn away before he can see me blushing.

  I love and fancy Johnny like mad, but Joseph Strike will always have something about him. Alice is a lucky girl, whoever she is.

  Just as I think that thought, I see Johnny staring straight at me from across the terrace. And he does not look happy.

  ‘Johnny’s here,’ I say as an aside to Kitty.

  ‘I’ll get the drinks. See you in a bit,’ she replies.

  He’s not smiling as we make our way through the crowd towards each other. I cover more ground, because he keeps getting stopped by people wanting to say hi. He greets them distractedly then continues on his way, his green eyes locked with mine.

  I’m on edge. Is he properly angry with me for that Joseph comment? I should have called him back, but now it’s too late.

  ‘Hey,’ I say as he reaches me.

  ‘Hi.’

  He bends down and presses his lips to mine, sliding his right hand into the hair at the nape of my neck and holding me to him. I pull away with confusion.

  ‘Did you get my message?’

  ‘Just now,’ he breathes, his brow momentarily furrowing. ‘I was already on my way when you called.’ His eyes flicker past me and around the room. ‘Where is he?’ he asks drily in my ear.

  ‘I think he’s gone.’

  ‘Did you speak to him?’ His eyes flash as they stare down at me and I curse myself as my face heats up. I don’t know why I feel guilty.

  ‘I said hi, yeah,’ I reply defensively, meeting his direct stare. ‘Have you seen Dana?’

  He tenses and looks up, his gaze moving around the room and then stopping suddenly. He looks down at me again. ‘Mmm.’

  I never wanted Johnny to set eyes on Dana ever again, let alone speak to her.

  ‘Do you want to speak to her?’ I ask in a small voice, desperately hoping the answer is no, but believing I owe him that because of my conversation with my former flame.

  ‘No,’ he says firmly. ‘I have nothing to say to her.’

  The relief is immense.

  He gently kisses my lips. ‘Can I take you home?’ he asks.

  ‘Um… Kitty.’

  ‘She looks fine to me.’

  I turn around to see her laughing with Dex. She has her hand placed flirtatiously on his chest and he’s grinning down at her.

  ‘I need to talk to you,’ Johnny adds in a low voice and my eyes shoot back to look at him.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘I’ll tell you when we’re in the car.’


  ‘Is it the boys?’

  ‘No, no,’ he says hurriedly. ‘Everyone’s fine.’

  But something is wrong. He didn’t deny it. That wasn’t anger when he walked in the door; it was something else entirely. And the fact that he hasn’t even given me the Spanish Inquisition about Joseph, tells me that whatever it is he’s about to reveal, is going to hit me like a tonne of bricks.

  My heart is hammering as we say goodbye to Kitty. She doesn’t seem to mind being left alone with Dex. I’ll call her tomorrow for an update, but right now, I want to find out what Johnny wants to talk to me about.

  Davey is waiting for us. I give him a wary look as he opens the door for me. I wonder if he knows what’s going on?

  ‘Thanks, Davey,’ I say, as Johnny climbs into the car behind me. He punches the button by the mini bar to put the privacy screen up, then guides me to the back of the car. He sits down beside me and takes my hands. I have a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  ‘Wendel called me,’ he says in a low voice, not meeting my eyes.

  ‘Right…’ I say uncertainly. Wendel is Johnny’s solicitor. It was due to him that I got the job of Johnny’s PA in the first place. I was working for an architect at the time – he was a client.

  He looks up at me and his eyes are full of sorrow. Whatever it is he wants to say, he’s finding it extremely hard.

  ‘Just tell me,’ I urge him.

  He swallows hard. What is it? ‘Wendel spoke to a man earlier today, claiming to be the stepfather of a girl who…’

  My imagination strikes me with thoughts much faster than Johnny can speak. Has he had an affair? Has he cheated on me since we’ve been married? Oh God, no. Please, no…

  ‘…is the daughter of one of my first fans,’ he continues.

  Eh?

  ‘Her mother passed away recently. She never told her daughter…’

  Mind still racing… I don’t understand. Where is this going?

  ‘…who her real father was,’ he finishes.

  He looks deflated and then it all falls into place. One of my worst nightmares has come true.

  Johnny has a daughter. A daughter who he never knew existed.

  When Johnny first found out about Barney, the thought occurred to me that my son might not be Johnny’s only child. He made a mistake with me, not using a condom – what was to say that he didn’t make other mistakes with any of his seven hundred or so groupies? What was to stop one of them conceiving his child? I tried to persuade myself that they would have come forward by now – that no secret would have stayed hidden for this long. But maybe – like me – another woman felt the need to stay silent, the need to keep her child’s identity a secret for who knows what reason. Now, the truth has come out – and I don’t know why.