S is for SEX

  No. No. No. Do not leave me here like this. No. God fucking damn you Erik Ead.

  I tried to wrestle myself loose from the restraints, but I could not move at all. I was stretched tight, my arms in one direction and my legs in another. I could not open my eyes or see anything at all. I wanted to cry.

  Why didn’t he say anything before he left? Where did he go? Was this part of the game? Making me wonder? I was uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable with how I was tied up, I actually like how it felt, but I was uncomfortable with the fact that Erik was gone, and I was home tied up, alone. I tried to count in my head so I had some concept of time, and how long he was gone.

  I counted: One, one-thousand, two, one-thousand, three, one-thousand, four, one-thousand until I got to about six hundred. At six hundred, I heard sounds coming from downstairs, probably somewhere in the street. It was the sound of people walking by and talking. I tried to listen to what they were saying. I could tell that it was a man and a woman, but I could not make out what they were saying for sure.

  It was Wednesday night. There was not much going on in Old Town on a Wednesday, so there was not a lot of foot traffic below my bedroom window. Maybe it was Thursday. I couldn’t remember for sure. I tried to count the days of the week and wasn’t sure how many I had worked this week. Wednesday or Thursday, it did not really matter.

  I heard the air conditioner kick on and start to blow. The air felt cool on my thighs and stomach. I wanted to cover up. I wanted Erik to come back and tell me why he left. I wanted a drink. I was thirsty. How long have I been laying here?

  I was laid down onto the bed and blindfolded. Erik told me to lay still and be a good girl. I laid here for quite a while, and he came back and tied me up. Then he left. No, he went in the other room and walked around and then left. He went to the bathroom, and then he went in the other room. Yeah, that’s what happened. He tied me up, and then he went into the bathroom, used the bathroom, flushed the toilet, and then I heard the keys. After I heard the keys, I heard the door close and lock.

  How long would all of that take?

  I didn’t have a drink before we walked into the bedroom. The last time I had a drink, we were in the kitchen after we ate. I wonder if he had me eat the salad because he knew I would be tied here alone forever, and he didn’t want me to be full of food. No, that doesn’t really make sense. But, I had water with my salad. How long ago was that? Two hours. I needed a drink.

  What if I became parched and my lips cracked because I was here with no water?

  Oh. My. God. What if I had to pee? I was going to have to hold it. What if I couldn’t hold it? I would pee in my bed. Oh yuck, that’s gross. I couldn’t pee in the bed. I would hold it if I had to pee. I was so thirsty, I needed a drink.

  My eyes itched. I needed to scratch my eyes. Someone needed to scratch my eyes. Scratch my eyes and give me a drink. If I had a drink, it would make me pee. I don’t want a drink. All I needed was my eyes scratched. That was it. If someone would come scratch my eyes, I would be fine. If someone could scratch my eyes, they could untie me, so it wouldn’t matter.

  If someone untied me or scratched my eyes, they would see me naked. No, that’s not going to happen. No one except for Erik was seeing me naked. I didn’t need anything. I could lay here for a lot longer and need absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. There he was blindfolding me, tying my arms, and then he left. That’s when…no, wait. We had salad. And then we came into the room. And then, there was the blindfolding. And I counted to six hundred. Six hundred seconds is sixty minutes, there’s sixty minutes in an hour, so I counted for an hour.

  I have been here, tied up for hours. What did I do? Did I make him mad at me? Did I deserve this?

  What did I do? When did I make him mad? When?

  We ate sushi on Tuesday, and on the way here, I sucked his cock in the car. He didn’t cum. We got here, and we had sex and fell asleep on the couch. On Sunday we watched movies. I didn’t do anything on Sunday that was bad.

  Oh, maybe the blowjob in the car? Maybe it was that. Maybe I made him mad because I didn’t make him cum. He came when we had sex. Before we fell asleep on the couch. But maybe he wanted me to make him cum in the car. I didn’t ever want him to be mad at me. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me, ever. I didn’t make him cum in the car when we left the sushi place.

  That’s it, this was punishment. I deserved it, I was so stupid. I should have demanded we stay in the parking garage until he came. He wanted to cum, and I didn’t do it. I gave up too early. It was a test and I failed. I am so stupid. God, I am so stupid. I am so sorry, Erik. I am so, so sorry.

  Wait. Six hundred seconds. That’s six hundred seconds. That’s. There’s sixty seconds in a minute, so divide. Divide. Divide six hundred by sixty. Sixty goes into six hundred. Ten.

  Ten.

  Ten what?

  Six hundred seconds.

  Ten fucking minutes. You’re such an idiot. You’ve been here ten minutes. Well, no. You’ve been here ten minutes, plus everything else.

  Thirty minutes.

  Maybe an hour.

  This was so disappointing. Not Erik, but me. I was so disappointed in myself that I didn’t make him cum that day in the car. How stupid was I?

  God, please make Erik come back. No, God, please let Erik forgive me for being so stupid. No, no…no. Stop. Stop. I’m not stupid. Well, I am stupid, but I don’t want to say ‘stupid’ in a prayer.

  God, please let Erik forgive me for making the mistakes that I so easily make. Let me be a better person, and make good decisions for Erik, like a good girl. Let Erik see that I am not a bad girl, and that I always want to do whatever I can to make him happy, above all. Above all except you, God. In your name, Amen.

  I woke up. I think I woke up. I might have been asleep. Maybe I wasn’t asleep. I was not sure what was going on. I was hearing noises. There was someone in the kitchen. Oh my God. Someone was in the kitchen.

  It’s got to be Erik. He came to untie me. My punishment was over.

  What if it’s not Erik?

  Lay here and be quiet. Be quiet in case it’s not Erik. Be quiet, Kelli. Be quiet.

  The footsteps were getting closer. Someone was in the room, I could hear them breathing. It was really dark, maybe they wouldn’t see me.

  I felt a hand on my thigh, and I twitched.

  “Erik?”

  “Erik, is that you?”

  “Erik?”

  “Who the fuck are you?”

  “Motherfucker, if Erik finds out you were here, he’s going to fucking kill you. Erik Ead, he’s a fucking bad-ass, and he’s going to cut your fucking throat, do you hear me?”

  I felt a finger on my face. It was on my lips. I spat at it.

  “Get your hands off of me, asshole. I am serious, he’s going to find you, and he’s going to cut you in little fucking bitty pieces.”

  The hand covered my mouth. I felt pressure on the bed, and heard breathing next to my head. By my face.

  “Shhhhhh,” the voice said.

  “Shhhhhh,” it said again.

  I felt a hand on my thigh. It moved closer to the inside of my thigh. It slowly creased against my pussy. I felt a finger touch my pussy lips.

  Oh my God, I am soaked. I am so wet. Why am I wet? I shouldn’t be wet. I shouldn’t. I couldn’t see this person. It wasn’t Erik. It was Erik, Erik was playing a game. What if it was not Erik? Cross your legs, Kelli. Cross your legs.

  I can’t cross my legs…they were tied to the bed posts.

  Fuck.

  The finger slid into my wet pussy. Oh God. It was so wet. I could feel the wet dripping down my crotch and in between my butt cheeks.

  Oh God, this isn’t happening.

  The finger slid in and out, slowly. In and out. Another finger started to tickle my clit, while the finger was sliding in and out of my pussy.

  Oh God, no. This feels so good. Why does it feel so good? I have no idea who this is. Oh God.

  Another finger was starti
ng to slide in. Oh God. Oh God. It was so wet, and so tight. His fingers were huge. My stomach muscles tightened and released, then again. I pulled my hands against the restraints, but I could not move. As I pulled, my muscles tightened and contracted. I stopped fighting, and let him…

  Oh God. Yes. Slide them in and out. Oh my God. In and out. Slowly fuck me with those fingers. Please make me cum. Make me cum. Slowly.

  The other finger was rubbing my clit and getting a faster rhythm. The fingers were sliding in and out faster. Oh God. He was going to make me cum. Oh my God.

  The fingers sliding in and out feel so good.

  I’m going to cum. I’m going to cum.

  I bit my lower lip as I felt myself start to climax. My stomach muscles tightened, and my body jumped up and down on the bed as I came over and over and over. This was insane.

  Holy fuck, I am still cumming. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  As I started to cum, his fingers began to slide in and out faster and so deep I could feel his hand against me when they slid all the way in. Faster and faster, they slid in and out. I continued to have orgasm after orgasm.

  Fuck yes. Keep fingering that pussy. Fucking slide those fingers….Oh God, yes.

  In and out…..Yes, in and….oh, my God.

  Yes. Yes.

  Yes. Deeper. Oh fuck. God. Yes. Holy God.

  I have never felt an orgasm like that. I could feel the cum running down my inner thighs and onto the bed as his fingers slid in and out. I felt wet under my butt. The fingers kept sliding in and out. Slowing down, but sliding in and out. I could hear my wetness.

  Wet, slippery sounds as they slid in and out, his pace beginning to slow down.

  He’s moving in between my legs. I can feel his thighs between my legs.

  Oh God, he is huge. The head is pressing against my lips. It’s not going to fit. There’s no way. Oh. My. God. Please stop, you’re going to rip me.

  Oh. My. God. He’s in. It feels sooooo good. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me like a dirty whore. Fuck my little slut pussy. Fuck me hard.

  He began to find his rhythm. In and out. His fingers touched my nipples. I flinched and squeaked. No, Kelli, be quiet, he said to “shhhh”.

  His cock feels so good. He’s going inside of me so deep. I can feel his balls against my butt crack when he goes all the way in. Oh my God, his cock is so long, I can feel it in my chest. Fuck yes, yes…fuck me.

  Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me fuck me.

  I could feel every inch of his cock. Sliding in deep, and sliding back out, all the way out. The soft tip piercing my lips again, and sliding in slowly…It was so dark, and I could feel so much of his cock…the friction.

  God, fuck me….holy fucking…fucking fuck, yes. Oh God, yes.

  Harder. Deeper. All the way in. Pinch my nipples. Squeeze my huge tits. Suck them.

  “Suck my tits, bite my nipples, suck them,” I screamed.

  “Shhhh,” the voice said.

  “No, suck them. Suck my titties. Bite my nipples. Squeeze them. Fuck me harder. Fuck me….oh God, please fuck me…”

  I felt his hands around my neck. They began to squeeze my neck as he continued fucking me. Tighter and tighter they squeezed.

  Oh God, I like this. It’s so exciting. God, I fucking love this. Choke me. Choke me. Fuck me harder. Shove me full of cock and choke me. God yes.

  His hands squeezed harder and held my neck tight.

  As he held my neck firm, he pounded in and out of my pussy. His cock sliding inside of me made me feel as if I was being fucked for the last time in my life. One last time. This. Felt. So. Good.

  Please, keep fucking me.

  He began to fuck me harder and harder, faster, deeper, and found a new rhythm. He was going so deep, his balls were hitting my butt crack and I could feel him all the way up to my throat. I felt relief for a second as he slid out, and then he would slide right back in…Oh, God, I can’t take this. He bit my nipple….and bit the other.

  Back and forth, his mouth on my nipples. Licking and sucking…nibbling.

  In and out. In and out…Oh, my God. Yes, fuck me.

  I’m going to cum again, oh fuck, here it comes. I am going to cum. God yes. Squeeze my neck you son-of-a-bitch. Oh my fucking God, yes. Go….go…..go….make me cum….go…go….fuck yes, fuck me.

  He kept up the rhythm, slowly sliding in and out. I began to climax, and I started to cum. It felt as if I were being electrocuted from the inside out - slowly and softly as I continued to have small orgasms from the outside…and it increased as he thrust in and out. The electricity got more and more intense, and he began to…

  “Oh my fucking God….Yes, oh please keep fucking me…” I screamed

  “I’m cumming….oh, God, I am going to cum…I am cumming…again….oh God…..I’m cumming….again……again…oh. God….”

  I felt his cock begin to swell, and he began to cum…..his warm cum shot out of his cock like it came from a gun. Oh God it felt so good. He slowed down as he came and buried himself deeper, he was throbbing and convulsing inside of me…small spurts of warmth inside with each convulsion.

  As he came, I came with him, hard. “Holyyyyy Fuckkkkkkkk.”

  “Oh, my….”

  “God.”

  I could feel his shirt on my bare chest and stomach. It felt like silk. It was skin tight. Smooth. I could feel his chest muscles and his rippled stomach. He was huge. He covered my entire body.

  I felt him slowly slide out. His weight shifted on the bed. And then the bed was free of all weight.

  His lips press against my mouth. Softly they kiss me, and then…they are gone.

  Fingers on my face. Sliding to my cheeks. My blindfold sliding…

  Oh wow. So bright. I can’t see. I’m fucking blind. Jesus, I went blind. Bright. So bright.

  I blinked my eyes. I could see a halo of a man in front of me. A shadow. A silhouette. I blinked again. And again. I focused my eyes, and blinked again.

  “Erik?!”

  “You didn’t sound very certain,” he said, laughing.

  “Well, I couldn’t see you, I was blind for a minute, I knew it was you,” I assured him.

  “Did you?” he asked, still laughing softly.

  “Yes, I could tell by your touch, your cock, your smell,”

  “I purposely didn’t wear cologne here tonight, and when I left, I went to the basement and put on different cologne,” he said.

  “Well, I could smell you,” I said, “You have a scent, and I know it.”

  “Okay, I’m sure you do, Baby Girl,” he said, leaning down to kiss me.

  As he kissed me, he reached up and unbuckled each of my arms. Surprisingly, they didn’t hurt. I reached around him and held him in my arms. As I held him, he sat up and pulled me with him. As we sat on the bed, he reached behind him and unbuckled my ankles.

  I raised my legs above his thighs and wrapped them around him. My arms around his neck, I held him tight.

  “Did I make you mad the other night?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he responded quickly.

  “Well, wait. You don’t even know when I am taking about. This was the night…”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he interrupted.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because I have never been mad at you,” he responded.

  “Okay, well, did I disappoint…”

  “Nope, same answer, you’ve never disappointed me,” he said sharply.

  “Never, not once?” I asked, excitedly.

  “Not one time Baby Girl,” he responded.

  I felt warm inside. I hugged him and held him tight. I had so much to say. So much to tell him. I held him in my arms. He held me, his hands sliding up and down my back slowly, pulling me closer to him.

  Love that is developed….

  KELLI. Wondering what Erik was thinking drove me crazy sometimes. He didn’t talk too much when he was away from me, and thinking about what he might be thinking about was sometimes more than I wanted to think about. My mi
nd got all jumbled with the possibilities of what he might be thinking, and whether or not I had done something to make him upset with me. He always told me when I asked him if he’s upset that he wasn’t. I didn’t ever want him to be upset with me, not ever.

  We needed to talk about my grad school, and about us, and he never responded to that text I sent him. I knew, knew, knew when I typed it that it was a bad idea. Even if I loved Erik with all of my heart, it was a really bad idea to send that text. It was so childish of me, and so irresponsible of me. Erik was the best thing to ever happen to me, and I didn’t want to lose him over a ridiculous selfish text message.

  Erik could spend the rest of his life with me and never tell me he loved me, and I would be happy – as long as I had him. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and make changes to some of the stupid things that I have done. This was one of those things.

  No matter how many times I looked in the mirror, I looked retarded. My butt is too skinny, and my thighs are huge. I stood in front of the mirror in my new dress trying to decide if I looked like a fool. As always, I did. Erik always told me that I looked great, but I wondered how sincere he was. I couldn’t look great all of the time. Not to anyone. Erik looked great, always.

  I wanted his arms around me.

  When Erik held me, nothing else mattered. When I put my head on his shoulder, there was nothing else that mattered. Feeling his chest against mine, and his heart beating – I loved it. He touched my face, and told me I was beautiful, and he always ran his hands through my hair. I loved it when he ran his hands through my hair. I wish he never stopped running his hands through my hair.

  And I loved the way he made me cum. Nobody has ever made me cum so much. Over, and over, and over. Erik had reinvented the orgasm for me. He said he was going to ruin me and own me. He did both.

  Sometimes I tried to think what I would be like if Erik was to leave me and never see me again. I would lie in my bed and think. Erik no more. No more hugging. No more smiles. No more hand holding. No more tying me up and fucking me good. And no more I didn’t even know what’s next because he said this was nothing more than a slice of a side of a diamond and oh my fucking God he was going to fuck me so many different ways and there were always going to be surprises because I never knew what he was going to do next.