Monster High

  “Hey, what’s wrong with being a vegetarian vampire?” Draculaura asked.

  “Nothing, mate. Sorry, bad example,” Lagoona said as she shook her head, realizing that she had just put her flipper in her mouth.

  As the ghoulfriends walked past Lagoona, Gil, and Draculaura, a light drizzle fell upon them. This was a sure sign that Monster High’s temporary headmistress, Miss Sue Nami, was near.

  “Clear the way, non-adult entities,” the waterlogged woman bayed as she stomped toward Superintendent Petra in the middle of the Casketball court. “What is happening in here, ma’am?”

  “I am your superior. Therefore, informalities such as ‘ma’am’ are not appropriate,” Superintendent Petra grumbled, and then picked up her bullhorn. “Students are to form a single-file line,” she continued as Salem’s scariff, zombie Fred Onarrival, entered the room.

  After offering the scariff a deferential nod of the head, Superintendent Petra watched as the student body formed one long and snaking line across the Casketball court.

  “Students are to count off one by one, starting with you,” Superintendent Petra announced into a bullhorn as Cy, Robecca, Rochelle, and Venus continued to crane their necks in search of Wydowna.

  “Could it be you’re talking to me?” a pumpkin head sang nervously as Superintendent Petra pointed at the small-bodied creature, whose normally pristine jack-o’-lantern was scuffed, no doubt a result of the stampede to get inside.

  “I don’t take kindly to interruptions, creature,” Superintendent Petra said icily, and then once again signaled for him to count off.

  “One,” the pumpkin head chirped feebly while hugging his pet bullfrog tightly.

  It was an odd thing, but most pumpkin heads at Monster High had bullfrogs, as they were both low-maintenance pets and natural metronomes.

  “Why is it number one?” werecat Toralei purred, and then twitched her ears.

  Dressed in white knee-high socks, wedge sneakers, and a studded dress, Toralei’s ensemble was rather impractical for Crack and Shield Day.

  “It?” the young pumpkin head mumbled under his breath, clearly taken aback by Toralei’s description of him.

  “I think we can all agree that the number one spot is permanently taken by me,” the werecat continued as she tugged at Cleo’s arm, which was intertwined with her own.

  The school’s biggest divas had taken to interlocking their arms as a security measure to ward off possible normie kidnappers. The peculiar idea had taken hold after Headmistress Bloodgood disappeared and Cleo’s father, Ramses de Nile, worried that his daughter might be targeted by monarchy-obsessed normies. And so it came to be that Cleo and Toralei traveled in tandem, the idea being that two ghouls were infinitely more difficult to kidnap than one.

  “Excuse me, Toralei Stripe?” Superintendent Petra said slowly, drawing out each word to display her aggravation at the interruption.

  “Yeah, excuse me?” Cleo echoed, but for very different reasons.

  “I’ll handle this,” Miss Sue Nami informed Superintendent Petra, and then turned to Toralei. “Non-adult entity known as Toralei Stripe, unless you want a permanent fur ball lodged in your throat, I suggest you can the small talk and count!”

  “Two,” Toralei said with a huff, and then rolled her eyes.

  “Three,” Cleo said as she adjusted her blue gauze-and-rhinestone tracksuit.

  “Four,” Frankie mumbled as she played nervously with her striped ponytail.

  And so the numbers continued: five, twenty-eight, one hundred, and so on.

  “Three hundred and one,” Robecca said as steam billowed from both her nose and ears.

  There was still no sign of Wydowna Spider anywhere.

  “Three hundred and two,” Rochelle said in a decidedly somber manner.

  “Three hundred and three,” Venus said as her vines stiffened with tension.

  And then, as Superintendent Petra came to the last student in line, a small glint of joy appeared in her eyes.

  “Three hundred and twenty-nine,” a young vampire grumbled from the corner of the gym.

  “Excellent. No one is missing,” Superintendent Petra stated proudly as she checked something off on her clipboard.

  “Actually, I think you’ve forgotten that the school recently added a new non-adult entity. Remember the ghoul we found in the attic?” Miss Sue Nami reminded Superintendent Petra as delicately as possible.

  “Wydowna Spider, if you are in here, please raise one of your six hands,” Scariff Fred announced while scanning the crowd for the new ghoul. “By the looks of it, Petra, she’s not here,” he concluded.

  “Why can’t we ever catch a break?” Venus groaned, and then nervously began wringing her green hands together.

  “Maybe she stopped by the Creepateria for a snack?” Robecca suggested hopefully.

  “While it is possible, it is not probable,” Rochelle replied as she shook her head at how close they had come to finding out the truth.

  “No ghoul with lots of arms! No spider here!” a troll grunted as he waddled toward Miss Sue Nami, his long greasy locks swaying side to side.

  “A missing non-adult entity is not good,” Miss Sue Nami barked, and then turned toward Superintendent Petra. “Now might be a good time to tell me why you set off the alarm and dragged us all in here. Because if there is a new problem out there, I need to know about it.”

  “Miss Sue Nami, do not rush me,” Superintendent Petra snapped haughtily.

  “That was not my intention, ma’am. I am just worried about the ghoul, that’s all,” Miss Sue Nami explained.

  “What did I tell you about calling me ‘ma’am’?” Superintendent Petra snapped.

  “Ma’am, I apologize.”

  “You just did it again!”

  “Yes, I did, and I apologize again. It is how I addressed Headmistress Bloodgood and therefore is very hard for me to stop using,” Miss Sue Nami clarified.

  “Well, try.”

  “Yes, ma’am… ugh… I mean,” Miss Sue Nami stuttered.

  “Oh, forget it! I don’t have time for this!” Superintendent Petra groused.

  “I’m going to get my men to check the grounds for Wydowna. She might have gotten turned around. She is new, after all,” Scariff Fred informed Superintendent Petra, and then walked off the court.

  “Of all the ghouls to get lost,” Robecca said, shaking her head.

  “Vell, at least ve can sleep in her room vithout being voken up,” Rose Van Sangre said to her twin sister, Blanche.

  “Just vhat ve need, a good nap.”

  “Per the school’s boarding policy, students are only to sleep in their assigned room,” Rochelle stated authoritatively to the gypsy vampire twins.

  “Don’t waste your breath, Rochelle. Those two never listen. But on the bright side, at least they won’t be loitering in our room tonight,” Venus said, before releasing a long sigh.

  “Per paragraph 5.8 of the Gargoyle Code of Ethics, I must inform others of misconceptions. Venus, there is no such thing as a wasted breath, for every breath keeps us alive. Except, of course, if you are a ghost, then it’s a bit more complicated,” Rochelle said as Scariff Fred reentered with a stressed expression.

  “Wydowna Spider is nowhere to be found,” he yelled into his special bullhorn, which translated his words from Zombese into English, just to make sure everyone could understand him.

  “Maybe she ran away? After all, it was clearer than a ghost on a sunny day that she was not Monster High material,” Toralei piped up.

  “And like my aunty Neferia says, with six arms spiders are always up to something,” Cleo added.

  “You two are like a leaf blower on a windy day,” Venus grumbled at Toralei and Cleo.

  “Is that some sort of recycling joke?” Toralei asked, narrowing her eyes at Venus.

  “Definitely not the sharpest claw on the cat,” Robecca mumbled under her breath.

  “Excuse me, Scariff, but are you sure she isn’t hiding in one of
the classrooms? Or in her dorm room? Or in the attic?” Cy asked.

  “We’ve searched every inch of this campus and she’s not here. Now, she might have simply run away. But in light of Headmistress Bloodgood’s kidnapping, we are obviously concerned. Perhaps the normies have raised the stakes and taken another monster to show us that they’re serious about erecting the wall.”

  “Oh, they’re serious all right; that’s why I sounded the alarm,” Superintendent Petra stated ominously. “One of our most trusted parents just returned from visiting with the normie sheriff, and you won’t believe what he saw.…”

  “What did this parent see, ma’am?” Miss Sue Nami questioned Superintendent Petra as the entire crowd listened with bated breath.

  “He saw blueprints for the wall and a copy of the Monster High Fearbook with certain faces circled,” Superintendent Petra explained.

  “This parent believes that the circled pictures are kidnapping targets,” Scariff Fred added.

  “So for the time being, outdoor activities should be kept to an absolute minimum,” Superintendent Petra stated emphatically to the room.

  “Excusez-moi? But might we see this Fearbook? To confirm that Wydowna was circled?” Rochelle inquired politely.

  “And who was the parent who went to see the normie sheriff?” Venus jumped in before Superintendent Petra had a chance to respond to Rochelle.

  “Children, I do not like your tone. Not one bit. And we will not be telling you the monster’s name, as we do not wish for him to be inundated with questions like why he wasn’t able to take the Fearbook.”

  “Maybe someone ought to go to this normie sheriff’s office and get a look at this Fearbook,” Robecca blurted, and then remembered that there couldn’t be a Fearbook to look at because she knew the normies were not actually behind any of this.

  “Non-adult entity, I think that is a fine plan,” Miss Sue Nami concurred, and then offered a sly wink at Robecca.

  “I do not take kindly to an inferior, especially a soggy one, attempting to tell me what to do,” Superintendent Petra shot back.

  “With all due respect, ma’am, I would rather be soggy and wrinkly than so immutable that my expression for sheer terror and happiness are the same,” Miss Sue Nami said as she approached Petra slowly.

  “Petra versus the Nami, this is better than sliced-up salami,” a few pumpkin heads sang as they watched the two forces of nature strut dramatically toward each other.

  “What do they think this is? A duel in the Wild West?” Venus muttered.

  “Those two are like oil and water—they just don’t mix,” Cy said as he shook his head at the ridiculous scene.

  “Superintendent Petra? Miss Sue Nami? I’m sure I need not remind you that the entire student body is watching you both,” Miss Flapper said in her usual soft and angelic manner. “Therefore, I think it wise that each of you go to opposite sides of the room and clear your heads.”

  “I never thought I would say this, but I actually agree with Madame Flapper. That was very sound advice,” Rochelle whispered to her friends.

  “And as far as this idea about taking the Fearbook from the normie sheriff, I think it’s far too risky. It could inflame the normies, prompting them to do heaven knows what next. Plus, Wydowna was very lonely. Perhaps she left on her own,” Miss Flapper suggested, standing between her loyal followers, Fanghai dragon Jinafire Long and Hexican calaca Skelita Calaveras.

  “Of course she’d say that! She doesn’t want anyone looking for her! That woman is like root rot to my soul,” Venus moaned.

  “Ma’am, since we are trying to stay inside, I suggest we return to our regular class schedule. For as you know, we ought to maintain as normal an environment for the students as we can,” Miss Sue Nami said in a decidedly calmer manner than before. “We will, however, continue to turn over every stone looking for our lost student.”

  “I’m sorry, Miss Sue Nami, but I simply will not be able to return to work today. All that running and screaming was too much for me. You must remember that being dead is already very tiring, not to mention being me and being dead,” Mr. D’eath lamented, before releasing a long and labored sigh.

  “Okay, non-adult entities, back to your regularly scheduled classes,” Miss Sue Nami ordered the crowd.

  “I need to get to the Mad and Deranged Scientist Lab ASAP! Clearly, I’m going to have to learn how to make my own high-gloss hair products,” Clawdeen fretted as she walked away, running her claws through her shiny brown locks.

  “So this is it? We’re just accepting the fact that the normies are going to lock us up?” Skelita asked the room as Miss Flapper nodded.

  “How to handle the normies is a discussion for another time,” Superintendent Petra snapped angrily at Skelita.

  The static-faced woman then stomped out of the gymnasium, bringing the discussion to a close.

  the spice-laden aroma of kung pao critters greeted Robecca, Rochelle, and Venus as they entered the Creepateria for dinner.

  “Kung pao critters! Finally, something goes my way today. I love Fanghai cuisine,” Venus remarked with excitement.

  “While I too enjoy kung pao critters, I hardly think that this is something to rejoice over. After all, we still need to figure out who is behind ASOME. Once we do that we’ll be able to not only expose the normie threat for what it is—a ruse to control and manipulate us—but also find Headmistress Bloodgood and Wydowna,” Rochelle stated confidently as the trio sat down at a table.

  “Way to burst my bubble,” Venus grumbled under her breath.

  “I did no such thing. How could I? There isn’t une bulle, or bubble as you say, in sight,” Rochelle countered.

  “Remember the list of names we found hidden under the floorboard in the attic,” Venus prompted her friends.

  “Yeah, what about it?” Robecca responded.

  “Do you ghouls think that list could be the monsters behind this secret group?” Venus suggested with some dread.

  “Talk about a flea’s sneeze, Venus! My father was on that list! You couldn’t possibly think my father, who has been missing for a century, could have something to do with this horrible group trying to ruin Monster High!” Robecca blubbered as steam poured out of her ears.

  “No, no, of course not,” Venus backed off quickly. “I forgot your father and Headmistress Bloodgood were on the list. There’s no way either of them would be involved with something sinister.”

  “Chérie,” Rochelle replied as she placed her hand on top of Robecca’s. “Of course your father is not involved with this group. From a strictly logical perspective, it doesn’t add up. Mr. Mummy said he had only ever heard rumblings of a secret society that believed in a monster hierarchy in the Old World. All the people on that list live in the Boo World.”

  “But what was the list for? And why were Headmistress Bloodgood’s and your father’s names circled?” Venus asked rhetorically as she lifted a huge forkful of kung pao critters to her mouth.

  “I don’t know. And do you know what else I don’t know? Where is Penny? Grinding gears! Penny is going to be so grumpy! You know how she gets when I forget her somewhere!” Robecca fretted as she jumped up from the table with concern over her mechanical pet penguin.

  “Asseyez-vous, sit down. Penny is most likely swatting away Venus’s poor-sighted but always-hungry plant as we speak,” Rochelle explained with a smirk. “That is to say, she’s in our room with Roux and Chewy.”

  “Thank heavens! I was about ready to grind my gears. I just couldn’t take facing a grumpy penguin after the day we’ve had,” Robecca exclaimed, and then sighed with relief.

  Later that evening, long past midnight, the sky turned a deep and magical purple. Not that any of the students at Monster High saw it, as they had all long since fallen asleep. But it was beneath this purple sky that a most peculiar thing transpired.

  As Robecca, Rochelle, and Venus lay in bed fast asleep, they dreamed of everything from rust removal oils to couture clothing to wildflow
ers. And in their dreams, they each had a visitor. And though she looked different in each of their dreams, it was definitely Wydowna Spider. Her presence was a reminder that somewhere out there was a ghoul who needed their help. A ghoul who got caught up with the wrong people and was manipulated to do things that she didn’t believe in. A ghoul who wanted to do the right thing. A ghoul whose only chance now lay in their green, granite, and copper hands.

  Hours later, as the sun rose over the conifur trees at the edge of campus, yet another odd thing occurred. Rochelle popped out of bed, sure that it was time to get up. This was, of course, the usual domain of the chronically time-challenged Robecca. But on this morning it was Rochelle who sat straight up in bed, bright-eyed and ready to conquer the day. So you can imagine her surprise when she looked at the clock and saw that she had woken up two hours early. It was then that she started thinking about Wydowna. And though she didn’t remember her dream from the night before she felt a greater sense of duty to try and find the ghoul.

  “Wake up, ghoulfriends! Réveillez-vous! I have an idea! A way to find Wydowna!” Rochelle proclaimed excitedly as she jumped out of bed.

  Roux, ever the happy pet, leaped onto the floor and started running in circles around Rochelle’s dainty gray feet. Roux was a delightful little creature who never failed to bring a smile to Rochelle’s face.

  “Robecca! Venus! Réveillez-vous! Did you hear me? I said wake up. We have work to do,” Rochelle stated authoritatively. “And, per paragraph 4.7 of the Gargoyle Code of Ethics, one mustn’t wait to help another.”

  “Huh,” Venus moaned semi-lucidly from beneath her straw sleep mask, surrounded by a tangled mess of green and pink hair. “I just had the strangest dream about Wydowna.”

  “What? You’re making my gears rattle!” Robecca yelped as she sat up in bed. “I dreamed about Wydowna too. And get this? She only had three arms in my dream. It was such a strange sight, two on the left and one on the right. I’ve got to admit, it looked pretty weird. Limbs definitely look better in sets, you know?”