Splinter (Reliquary Series Book 2)

  I stayed very still, letting the words hang in the air.

  “I’ve always made Asa the bad guy,” Ben continued. “It made it easier to sleep at night, I guess, because then I didn’t have to think about what I’d done to him.”

  “Ben, your dad was responsible for that.”

  “I wasn’t a child. I could have stood up to him. I could have stood up for my brother.”

  I pulled the blanket a little tighter around myself. “He needed you to.”

  “I know. I’ve always known that. And, Mattie, it’s just so goddamn painful that the only way to live through it was to convince myself that Asa deserved it.”

  “But now you know you were wrong.”

  “More than that. Now I know I was the bad guy. And that I still am.” He rubbed his eyes. “Christ. I had a heart attack when I stepped out of my hotel and found him leaning on the van in the parking lot. I thought he was going to kill me. And you know what he said?”

  “What?”

  “‘Next time you steal a relic, fucking package it up or you’ll get yourself killed.’ It . . . God, it took me back in time. That night he pulled me out of that nectar den, he was the same way. Angry, but at the same time—”

  “Caring about you.”

  “Yeah. I didn’t deserve it. There are so many things I don’t deserve.” He hesitantly reached for my hand, and I let him take it. “Not least of which is you.”

  My chest throbbed dully. “Ben, I’m not sure I can—”

  “The things I did to you last night. I can’t get them out of my head.”

  “That definitely wasn’t your fault.” But I couldn’t suppress my shudder.

  “You and Asa shook off that guy’s influence. I couldn’t.”

  “Asa and I have our reasons for being able to do what we did. You were far, far from the only person last night who couldn’t resist Arkady, Ben. Trust me. I’m just glad we made it out alive.”

  “I guess. You know, Dad always said Asa was weak. He used to pick on him all the time. He called him a pussy and a fag. The drunker Dad was, the meaner he was, and as the years went by, he drank more and more. He wanted Asa to man up. Grow some balls. It used to scare me. I hated when Dad said those things to him. But eventually, I blamed Asa for being the kind of person who drew that fire, you know?”

  I pressed my lips together, the pain in my chest intensifying as I thought once again of what Asa had gone through growing up. No wonder he couldn’t trust anyone. No wonder he never felt safe.

  “I thought Asa was the weak one,” Ben said quietly. “It’s only now I realize how strong he had to be to survive all of that. I’m not sure I could have. And now I see that I was the weak one. Still am. But you know the kicker?”

  I turned my head to look at him.

  “I still want to be strong for you. I’ve never been more willing to face what’s coming and deal with it head-on. Mattie—I came clean to your parents when I talked to them on the phone this morning. I told them everything.”

  “What?”

  “I told them we were about to lose the clinic. I told them I’d tried to do something foolish and illegal to get the money, and that was why you were in trouble. Your dad threatened to drown me in the lake”—Ben chuckled—“and I told him I would let him. But only after I got you home safe.”

  “Wow.”

  “I did more than that. I asked them for a loan to save the clinic.”

  “And what did they say?”

  “They’d do anything for their little girl. Once I made sure they understood how much it meant to you, they jumped on it. I was so stupid to let my pride get in the way. But I fixed it, Mattie. As soon as we get back, your dad and I are going to the bank to set it up. We can keep the clinic open. We can grow it together.”

  “I have to get through this first, Ben.”

  “I just want you to know that even if you don’t want to be my wife, we can be business partners. No strings attached.”

  I stared into his eyes, thinking of all the happy days I’d had in that clinic. The wet kisses of puppies, the heart-melting softness of affectionate cats, the way ears would perk and a tail would wag when each animal heard the one voice that meant home. “Thank you.”

  “Thank your mom and dad, Mattie. I couldn’t have made it happen without them. They love you more than anything, and they just want you home. They miss you.”

  My parents. They’d just lost Grandpa. What would it do to them if I didn’t make it through this transaction? “I miss them, too.” And I prayed I wasn’t about to break their hearts.

  “Hey! Here she is,” called Roberta. “Need some help?”

  I turned to see Asa walking slowly up the trail from the parking lot with Gracie in his arms. Her right front leg was in a cast, and her shoulder and chest were wrapped in a thick bandage. She had her head on his shoulder. I could hear her whining with each breath and felt complete sympathy.

  “If someone could fetch her shiny new cage from the van, I’d be grateful,” Asa said, frowning.

  “What the heck happened to her?” asked Ben.

  Silence fell over the shore as we all looked back and forth between Asa and Ben.

  “Hit-and-run,” Asa said in a flat voice.

  “When?”

  “Ben—”

  “Oh my God,” he whispered. “Please tell me I didn’t do this.”

  This time the silence was flinty, full of condemnation.

  Asa stared at his younger brother for one long moment. “The ride was kind of hard on her,” he finally said. “Will you take a look at her stitches?”

  Ben rushed over to help Asa get Gracie into the house. A few of the others hiked up to the van to gather the cage and the supplies Asa had gotten from the vet. The rest went back to the house, carrying our dishes.

  I sat there, looking out on the moon’s reflection in the water, listening to the chirps and moans of crickets and frogs, wondering if it was possible for Ben and Asa to truly be brothers again.

  I looked over my shoulder when I heard footsteps. Asa was coming down from the house, a steaming mug in his hand. “Letisha wants you to drink this.”

  “Is there a secret ingredient?” I asked warily.

  Asa sniffed at it. “Yep. Rum.”

  I snorted. “Hand it over.”

  “You took my advice about the magic.”

  “Yeah.” I took a sip of the hot cider-rum mixture and sighed as it burned my throat. “It’s been a pretty okay night as a result. So, thanks. How’s Gracie?”

  “The doc said she should heal completely, but it’s gonna take about six weeks—and that’s if I can keep her off that leg. She has to spend a lot of time in the cage so she doesn’t run around like the crazy lady she is. It’s not gonna be easy. She hates that motherfucking cage. And I hate putting her in it.” His hands were clenched around the arms of his chair.

  I knew better than to try to touch him, though God, how I wanted to put my hand over his. “Once you get her through this next few weeks, you can toss it in a Dumpster and walk away.”

  “I might have to run over it with the van first.”

  “Some things just have it coming.”

  “Dammit, Mattie,” he said with a sigh.

  I bowed my head into my afghan to hide my grin.

  “I got through to Brindle’s people.”

  “And?”

  “We’re working some things out. We have a location. Atlanta. Neutral ground—the Grand Hyatt in Buckhead. Nice hotel. Right now we’re looking at Saturday. The only thing is they want to supply the conduit. So far I can’t budge them.”

  “I would think they’d give us whatever we want. Don’t they want the Strikon relic whole? It’s not as valuable if it’s fractured, right?”

  He nodded. “But they know we want you whole, so they have some leverage.”

  “If I die, the magic dies with me.”

  “I know. That’s our leverage. That and the Sensilo relic. It’s like a two-for-one.”

&n
bsp; “But you. Are you worried Brindle’s going to try to trap you and keep you for himself?”

  “Nah.” Asa grinned. “He gave me three days to plan, baby. That’s like a lifetime.”

  I smiled back, but my guilt and fear didn’t subside. Frank Brindle had given Asa three days to plan. He’d also given himself three days to lay the perfect trap.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Asa had been right—three days was like a lifetime.

  On Friday morning, he announced we’d be leaving after lunch. After he and Ben disappeared into a back room, they emerged and Asa said that Ben would stay to take care of Gracie, and that if all went well, we’d be back by Sunday morning at the latest. They actually shook hands, and I should have been happy about that. Instead, it made me feel worse. Asa had been cool to me for days, and had just spent longer talking to the brother he claimed to despise than he had to me since Tuesday. Then he walked right past me and got into his van without so much as a glance.

  Ben kissed me on the forehead when it came time to go, telling me that we’d talk when I got back, that whatever I decided was okay. Jimmy announced that the carnies might be hitting the road later that day—he’d found a possible new carnival site at an abandoned amusement park down in Louisiana, and they wanted to get going. So we shared hugs and good-byes, and I felt even sadder than before at the thought of not seeing them again.

  Ben helped me get into the van. It was easier to get around with Quentin’s magic on board—he’d given me two vials to take on the trip—but I’d become pretty weak. Jimmy had asked if it wouldn’t be more prudent to fly instead of making the eight-hour-plus car trip, but Asa had said even if they did let me on a plane (he seemed to think I looked crappy enough that they might not), it would take nearly as long end-to-end and wouldn’t be nearly as safe, given the risk of ambush.

  He was already sweating as he drove away from the campground. “Do you want me to go sit in the back?” I asked.

  “Doesn’t matter,” he said curtly. And then we rode in silence for hours, the quiet cranking me tighter with every mile. What had started out as a beautiful late-spring day turned dark and ugly the farther south we got, matching my mood. By the time the sun set as we reached the outskirts of Atlanta, it was pouring.

  “Where are we staying tonight?” I asked.

  “Hotel in Midtown. About fifteen minutes from the Hyatt. I didn’t want to be too close. I’m gonna drop you off and then go scout it.”

  “I’d like to come with you.”

  “You’d slow me down.”

  Annoyance zipped through me. “I want to see what I’m dealing with, okay?”

  “What are you gonna see, exactly? It’s just a nice hotel in a nice part of town. I need to go figure out if Brindle’s got his people positioned there. I’d feel them in an instant, and I know how to avoid them. But you—”

  “I’m part of this,” I snapped. “I’m not just a—how did you put it?—an alligator handbag.”

  “I thought you trusted me.” He took an exit for Buckhead.

  “I did.”

  “And now suddenly you don’t? Your timing sucks.”

  A few days ago, I would have done anything he asked, but then he’d left me alone with my fear and uncertainty after telling Ben he would take care of me, that he’d do whatever it took.

  We didn’t speak until he pulled into a spot just off Peachtree Road. He tore the keys from the ignition and pushed past me to get to the back. I listened to toolboxes opening and slamming shut for a few minutes. “Come on, then,” he said in a hard voice as he jumped out the side door and pulled it closed.

  I pushed my door open and winced as the rain began to pelt my legs. My skin felt oddly sensitive and thin. “I don’t suppose you have an umbrella.”

  Asa was standing on the sidewalk, his dark, wet hair shining under the streetlight, drops streaming down his angular face. “Does it look like it?”

  I turned toward the main road and looked up at a black skyscraper up ahead. “Is that it?”

  He let out a brusque laugh. “Nope. It’s about seven blocks thataway.” He jabbed his finger to the right as he began to walk toward Peachtree.

  I swallowed back a whine and followed him, but I nearly had to jog to keep up. The rain drenched me to the bone within a few minutes. My hair hung down my back in tangled clumps, and my shoes squished with every step. My teeth were chattering so hard that it felt like a woodpecker had taken up residence in my skull, and each breath was coming out as a harsh, painful rasp.

  And finally, I just couldn’t. I wrapped one arm around the narrow trunk of a fledgling tree planted along the sidewalk. My tears were washed away instantly by the downpour, so I let them come.

  Asa kept walking for a few steps, then spun around. “Come on, Mattie. You want to see it for yourself, and it’s still three blocks up.”

  “You parked this far away on purpose,” I said, panting. “Are you trying to prove a point?”

  “No, I’m trying to keep us out of trouble. I’m not exactly going to pull up right in front of the damn building and get out before I know what’s waiting for me. Nor do I want to stand here in the middle of the fucking sidewalk as a stationary target for whatever comes along. So let’s go.”

  “I can’t.”

  “This is what you wanted.”

  His cold tone twisted inside me, finding its ally in the Strikon splinter. I whimpered, and Asa cursed, probably feeling just how bad it was. He strode toward me and scooped me up just as I started to pitch forward. “This is stupid,” he snapped.

  I began to struggle to get down again, but he only held me tighter, cradling me against his chest as he stalked up the sidewalk. “Let me translate for you,” I said. “You think I’m stupid.”

  “We’re heading into the most dangerous, tricky transaction ever, and you’re picking a fight with me?”

  “Maybe I am! If we’re fighting, at least you’re forced to acknowledge that I exist.”

  “And you don’t think I’m aware of that every single goddamn minute of every goddamn day already?” When we reached the van, he let my legs drop and my feet hit the ground, but he kept hold of my arms. “I’ll drive you to our hotel.”

  “No.”

  “What the fuck, Mattie.” He groaned. “I’m not Ben. I’m not gonna play little head games with you—”

  “You said you would take care of me,” I wailed. “You said you weren’t going to let me hurt anymore! And I believed you. I trusted it completely! Do you have any idea what the last few days have been like for me? You just disappeared!”

  He stared down at me, his face in shadow, and his silence made me want to kick him in the shins.

  “You told Ben I would break if I wasn’t handled the right way. Well, here I am.” I held out my scrawny arms, knowing how pathetic I looked. “You were right.”

  And still, Asa just stood there.

  “Now we’re back to the silent treatment?” I asked, my voice cracking, my entire body trembling. “Great. You want to know something? All your talk about how strong and brave it is to give up control—it’s bullshit, Asa. You don’t even believe it yourself, and I get that. It’s smart. Because as soon as you trust someone to hold you up, they walk away. They start pretending you don’t exist. They start treating you like a stranger.”

  I planted my hands on his chest and feebly shoved him. He let me go, and I leaned on the van to stay upright. Rain was coming down in sheets, blurring my vision and raising goose bumps. “So yeah. I am stupid. I should never have bought into it.”

  “You’re not stupid.”

  “I let myself need you! It’s not like I want to.” I covered my mouth to hold in a sob. “I’ve tried really hard not to. And yeah, I buried my head in the sand since last summer, but I was just trying to survive, okay? Then you were back, and even though things have been scary, and even though you’ve been kind of an ass, I knew you would never leave me behind. Until these last few days, when that’s exactly what you did.?
?? I wrapped my arms around my body, trying and failing to hold myself together. “I know I made you angry. I understand why you didn’t want me to touch you, and I shouldn’t have tried. But I don’t think I deserve this. Especially not now.”

  His jaw went rigid.

  “I guess you’re going to yell at me,” I squeaked. “Tell me all the ways I’ve got it wrong.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Why not, dammit? Why are you being so freaking cold right when I need you most? How did I manage to lose you just by caring about you?”

  “Because I’m a fucking coward,” he said.

  I blinked up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He ran his hands through his wet hair. “Can’t we just . . .” His arms fell limply to his sides. He sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out. “Okay. I can fix this. I can handle this.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself. “Twenty-four hours tops, and then we’re done. Then I’m gone.”

  That comment hit me right in the heart, sinking the Strikon splinter deeper. I tensed and put my hands up as he moved closer. Slowly—but very firmly—he laced his fingers with mine and pulled me against him. Tension vibrated through every fiber of his body, like a billion live wires bundled together, impersonating muscle and bone. “What are you doing?”

  “Giving you what you need,” he said in a strained voice as he put his hand on the back of my head and held it to his chest. His heart was thumping fast and fierce, as if it were trying to escape from its cage. “I can handle this.”

  “Is it hurting you?”

  “Yeah,” he whispered. “More than I ever thought it could.”

  I pushed against him, but he held me tight. I hadn’t had any idea it was this bad. “But I don’t want to hurt you.” And I had been so selfish, expecting him to hang around close to me when it probably drained every bit of his strength. He needed all of it for tomorrow, and I should never have begrudged him his space. “That’s the opposite of what I want.”

  “I know, Mattie.” He kissed the top of my head.

  “Asa, I’m so sorry.”

  “Me too, baby. Me too.” His fingers tightened in my hair. “Come on. I’m taking you back to the hotel.”