Immortal City

  Then, as she sat there, one final idea came. It was bold and surprising, and she rolled it around on her tongue for a minute as if tasting it. She decided it tasted good. A plan formed in her mind—a final piece of the puzzle for the party—and she resolved right then and there to follow it. It was simple and elegant, and was probably the only guarantee she was ever going to fully blot Jackson Godspeed out of her mind as she became New Maddy.

  She was going to go for it. She was going to fall in love with Ethan.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  It was a somewhat long walk to Ethan’s, but Maddy didn’t mind. The wind had changed directions overnight and was coming off the ocean now, a crisp, refreshing kind of air. Maddy zipped up her hoodie but promised herself she would take it off when she got to the party. That was another thing she had decided—another rule for New Maddy. No more hiding.

  Her route took her across the city and up into the lower Angel City Hills. Maddy avoided Angel Boulevard, of course. She didn’t need to experience the frenzy that was Jackson Godspeed’s Commissioning—she was going to do whatever it took not to be reminded, although avoiding Jackson Godspeed in Angel City, she had to admit, was a near impossibility. While she was getting ready, she hadn’t been able to stop herself from turning on the TV to find out more about the Angel killings and the speculation that Jackson might be targeted. She tried to remember how angry she was at Jacks, but her heart clenched up as she thought of him in danger. After only a few minutes, she’d had to turn it off. But even now, walking, she could see the news choppers buzzing overhead, circling the boulevard like vultures. In between songs on her iPod she was pretty sure she could make out the distant roar of a hysterical crowd. That, she told herself, was why she had come up with her plan. And that, she convinced herself, was why she had to follow through with it. Gwen wouldn’t be at the party until after the Commissioning, and that would be a good thing. As much as Maddy wanted to see her best friend, she needed to be alone with Ethan first. Her pulse rose as she thought about it. How was she going to do this?

  Arriving at the address Ethan had given her, she stood there on the sidewalk for a moment. The house was large and rustic, set into the leafy hillside. The sound of adolescent laughter and thumping bass filtered out into the street. But this was definitely the place. No screaming crowds, red carpets, and photographers like the soiree she had been at last night, thankfully. Just a regular teenage party. The house wasn’t lavish, Maddy thought, but its occupants were certainly well off. A silver Audi A5 gleamed in the driveway. Was she really making the right decision by coming here?

  As if in answer, another news chopper roared overhead, on its way to join the others and circle over the boulevard. More Jackson Godspeed worship.

  Running a nervous hand through her hair and fixing a smile on her face, she marched up the walkway and rang the bell.

  No one answered at first, and Maddy had the sudden urge to just turn and leave. Then, with a burst of noise, the door opened. Ethan stood there in the doorway wearing a plaid collared shirt rolled up at the elbows and his usual ripped jeans. He gave her an open, wide grin that made her heart miss a beat.

  “Maddy! You found it.”

  “Yeah!” Maddy chimed back, hoping to match his enthusiasm.

  “Well, come in, come in,” he said, opening the door wider. She took a step inside, and Ethan moved to hug her. Normally she would have used her shoulders to close off her body and leave the would-be hugger to fumble awkwardly with her arms, but this time she took a step into him and let her body fit closely into his. She felt the hardness of his chest press against hers, then the wrap of his heavy arms. She breathed in his cologne.

  “I’m really glad you decided to come,” he said as he released her.

  “Yeah, I am too.”

  “Can I take your sweatshirt?”

  “Er—yeah. Sure,” Maddy said, remembering her promise to herself. She slipped out of her hoodie, revealing an ivory spaghetti-strap top she had actually picked out with some forethought for once. Her mother’s necklace rested elegantly on her collarbone. Ethan’s eyes flickered over her bare shoulders as he took the hoodie and hung it over a peg by the door. Maddy noticed and blushed. They stood there for a moment like that, neither moving.

  “Well,” Ethan said finally, and laughed a bit nervously. Maddy laughed too. There seemed to be the sudden pressure to be verbose. “Why don’t I get you something to drink?”

  “Sure,” Maddy replied, and followed him into the house.

  The party was already in full swing. People stood around or sat in groups on the couches talking, all holding red plastic cups. The sound of excited chatter mingled with the smell of beer. It was mostly people from school, but no one Maddy was really friends with.

  “Gwen told Kyle she was definitely coming, but I haven’t seen her,” Ethan told her as he led her through the clusters of people. “Simon’s here, but I don’t know where Tyler is. He’s been kind of weird lately; he didn’t even answer my text earlier today. And Kyle’s on his way.”

  Maddy thought she spotted Simon across the room. She was also kind of happy that Kyle wasn’t here yet. He had been acting strange lately—didn’t he know she was Gwen’s best friend?

  A girl Maddy thought was named Becky danced sloppily next to a coffee table. A couple guys at the TV were playing Xbox. No one seemed interested in watching the Commissioning, which was a relief. She received a few loaded glances as they crossed the living room, but most people were too busy talking or enjoying the contents of their cups. They made their way into the kitchen.

  Ethan had somehow managed to secure a keg. It was parked in the middle of the kitchen floor in a large Rubbermaid tub filled with ice. A guy wearing a backwards baseball cap was pouring cups of beer from the tap.

  “Keg stands in ten minutes!” he announced loudly.

  It was a long way from the sparkling trays of gourmet drinks, Angels in designer outfits, and strange tables made out of fake animals that Maddy had been mingling among just the night before. She pushed that scene from her mind, pigs and all.

  “What can I get you?” Ethan asked.

  Maddy looked down at the keg. She might be New Maddy, but going to her first real high school party and drinking for the first time all in one night seemed like a little much. Besides, she needed to be sharp if she was going to do what she came to do.

  “Do you have any soda?” she asked.

  “Yeah, totally.”

  Ethan fished around in the fridge and came up with a Diet Coke. “Hope you don’t mind diet,” he said as he handed it to her. Maddy took the can from him, and their fingers touched. Instead of pulling away, she let her hand linger on his for a bit longer than necessary. She thought she had seen something like that on TV once.

  Ethan looked down at her hand, then moved up to her gaze. His eyes were deep, searching. Nervous but hopeful.

  “Boo!” a voice yelled right behind Maddy’s ear, and she jumped, insanely startled. Ragged laughter followed. “Bet you thought I was the serial killer, didn’t you? Don’t worry, he’s just takin’ out Angels,” a slurred voice said, with a burp and another laugh.

  Maddy turned around. A lean, muscular boy with a buzz cut had stumbled over, bringing the smell of alcohol wafting along with him. It was Jordan Richardson from chemistry. Simon had followed him in.

  “Wait, aren’t you Maddy Montgomery?” Jordan asked.

  “Yeah, man, that’s Maddy; I know her, dude!” Simon turned to her. “You’re, like, famous or something now, right?” He was talking louder than necessary and knocked over a stack of cups on the counter as he steadied himself. A few people were starting to look over, and Maddy felt the prying eyes of the party begin to shift in her direction.

  “How about a tour of the house?” Ethan said loudly, deflecting Simon and the other guy.

  “That’d be great,” Maddy said gratefully. They walked through the kitchen door and into an adjoining dining room, where a few guys were playing a game w
ith cups of beer and a Ping-Pong ball. Then they crossed through another doorway and into a second living room, this one with white couches and a flickering electric fireplace.

  “Thanks,” Maddy said when they were finally alone.

  “No problem.” Ethan smiled. “They’re just a little drunk, that’s all.”

  “But you’re not drinking?” Maddy said, realizing it as much as asking. Ethan shook his head.

  “No. I mean, I want everyone to have a good time, but that’s not really my thing.”

  Maddy looked around the room. The glass coffee table was spotless, and the couches looked like they were sat on very carefully. The house was furnished with nice things, no question, but it lacked the cozy home feel of the shabbier place she shared with Kevin.

  “It’s a beautiful house,” Maddy said as she gazed up at the vaulted wood-beam ceiling.

  “Thanks. Still feels kind of new to me. I keep waiting for my mom to decide how she wants to decorate, but . . .” He trailed off and sat on the couch. Maddy took a seat next to him.

  “So, your mom’s out of town?”

  Ethan nodded, looking downcast for a moment. “Yeah, she’s out of town a lot for business. Her job keeps her pretty busy.”

  “What kind of work does she do?”

  “Marketing,” he replied. Maddy thought of Uncle Kevin. Despite being old-fashioned and set in his ways, he was always there for her. Other people sometimes weren’t as lucky.

  “So,” Ethan said, changing the subject, “college apps driving you crazy yet?”

  “Oh, crazy is an understatement,” Maddy admitted with a sip of her soda. “I’m way behind.”

  “I know, me too,” Ethan said. “Have you gotten that essay prompt yet, ‘Please describe what you consider to be the most difficult moment in your life’?”

  “Yes!” Maddy exclaimed. “God, I hate that one.”

  Ethan shook his head. “I wanted to respond, ‘Trying to figure out what to write for this essay.’” Ethan laughed, and Maddy joined in. She was feeling much more at ease.

  “Wow, I had no idea you cared about college, Ethan,” Maddy said.

  “You assumed I wasn’t smart?” Ethan looked mock-insulted.

  Maddy blanched and backpedaled. “I’ve never seen you in the school library is all.” Ethan’s eyes flashed, mischievous.

  “Well, can you keep a secret?”

  He pulled out his key chain and jingled it.

  “I kind of wanted to study on my own hours, and besides, I prefer being in there by myself without Mr. Rankin to pester me.”

  Maddy’s mouth fell open.

  “You have keys to the school?”

  “Sure. Mrs. Neilson left them lying on her desk one day, so I . . . borrowed them.”

  “You stole them,” Maddy said in disbelief. Ethan shrugged, and Maddy was surprised to find herself smiling.

  “I copied them. I gave them back, promise. If you ever need to use them, just let me know.”

  Of course it was wrong to steal the keys . . . but it was also resourceful. And bold. There was something about it she liked. It felt like a New Maddy thing to do.

  “Careful what you say,” she said at last. “I might actually take you up on that.”

  Maddy watched Ethan as he laughed. A part of her had always found him attractive, but maybe not as attractive as she was finding him now. Her eyes searched his full lips, his high cheekbones, his hazel eyes. A silent moment passed between them. Almost intuitively, he reached over and took her hand. His felt rough and calloused, but also warm.

  As much as she tried to block it, the memory came. The memory of Jacks’s touch in the back office of the diner, and the electricity that had passed between them. She pushed the thought desperately away as Ethan turned toward her. They were face-to-face on the couch now. His eyes were doing that thing again. Asking a question. A question she thought she knew the answer to.

  “Actually, can I use your bathroom?” Maddy blurted suddenly. “I just need to . . . I’ll be back in a second.”

  “Yeah, of course,” Ethan said, looking a little surprised. He pointed. “Go down the hall and make two rights.”

  Maddy got up, set her soda on the glass table, and nearly ran. After a couple wrong turns she found the bathroom. It smelled pleasantly of coconut. Maddy stood there, breathing hard, looking at her reflection in the mirror. At this point, she nearly despised that face.

  “You’re such a coward, Maddy,” she mumbled as she turned on the faucet and splashed some water on her face. If she was being honest with herself, though, she knew it had nothing to do with courage. Or even with Ethan. She grabbed a hand towel and dried off. Her heart was still pounding, and she rubbed a hand on her chest to calm it. She had made a promise to herself—a promise to start fresh. Her fingers inched up and touched her mother’s necklace. The past was the past. She looked at herself again with renewed determination. “You can do this, Maddy,” she whispered. She switched off the light and headed out.

  The house was large and easy to get turned around in, and soon Maddy was sure she was lost. She went down a long, bare hallway and ended up at the back of the house, facing two doors she thought were probably bedrooms. Great, she thought, and was just turning around when something caught her eye. The door on her right stood slightly ajar, and inside, she could just make out something in the middle of the floor.

  “Hello?” she asked.

  No response. Her curiosity piqued, she went to the door and pushed it open a little farther. It was a bedroom, but clearly not the master. Maybe it was a guest room. A cardboard moving box sat in the center of the floor. The box was open, and she could just make out the glint of light off a stack of picture frames.

  So that’s where all the pictures are, she thought, a little amused. She stepped inside the room and went to the box.

  The photos were crowded together and stacked on top of each other. Maddy picked one up. It was a picture of a man in his early forties, standing with a young boy who looked like Ethan. The man must be Ethan’s father, she thought. They were in a backyard, next to a smoking barbecue. The man had a spatula in his hand. Maddy picked up another picture. A slightly older Ethan playing football with his dad at the beach. She fingered through the rest of the photos. They were all of Ethan and his father, until she reached the last frame, which was blank.

  “Maddy?” a questioning voice asked from just over her shoulder. Maddy nearly shrieked as she swiveled and saw Ethan standing right behind her. He looked down at the photo in her hand.

  “You scared me, I—” Maddy could feel the hot blood rushing into her cheeks. She had been snooping around and got caught. “I got lost coming back from the bathroom and thought you might be in here. Then I saw the pictures . . . I’m really sorry.” She had started to put the picture back in the box when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

  “Here,” Ethan said, reaching forward. He didn’t seem angry or upset at all. Maddy turned slowly to face him and handed him the picture. His eyes grew distant as he looked at it. A sad smile passed across his face as though he were witnessing a fleeting memory. Finally, he spoke.

  “My dad.”

  Maddy nodded, understanding.

  “He’s not—” Ethan broke off when his voice shook. “He’s not with us anymore.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Maddy didn’t know what else to say.

  “It still just gets to me sometimes. Especially when I think about how he died.”

  Maddy’s heart thudded in her chest. She felt terrible. “Ethan, I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s okay,” he said. Maddy watched him as he ran a finger over the picture. She didn’t dare speak.

  “There was time to save them both, Maddy,” he said. “It would have been easy. It’s effortless for them, you know. But my father, well—” He looked up from the photo and met Maddy’s gaze. His eyes were full of unshed tears. “He didn’t have coverage.”

  Maddy’s heart was in her throat. She ached with sympathy. No
wonder Ethan disliked the Angels. It was a wonder he wasn’t as aggressively anti-Angel as Tyler. Ethan set the photo back in the box along with the others.

  “That’s what they told my mother. That’s what they told us both.” He gestured around them at the empty house. “No amount of insurance money can buy my dad back. They could have saved him, but they didn’t.”

  Maddy thought about their conversation in the stairwell at school, and at the diner before that. She thought about what Ethan must have read about her online. And how he had supported her and been a friend to her anyway.

  Almost without being aware of it, Maddy took a step toward him.

  “Ethan . . .” Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m so sorry.” She placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart pounding furiously under his shirt. They were face-to-face again, inches apart now.

  “I’m glad you told me about him.”

  Ethan swiped at his eyes with his hand and let out a pent-up breath. He looked down at his feet. “I really know how to set the mood, don’t I?” he said, smiling. “Going on about dead people. Real smooth.” He laughed, but it was shaky.

  Maddy smiled and looked into his eyes. She felt his hand on the small of her back and let him pull her close.

  She held his gaze. For the third time, it was as if his eyes were asking a question. This time, she nodded. Letting her mind go blank, she tilted her mouth up toward him and closed her eyes.

  She needed this. She wanted this. She felt his breath on her cheeks and then, ever so gently, the brush of his lips.

  It happened in that instant. An image exploding in the blackness of her mind so vivid and clear it could not have come from her thoughts.