Brothers

  Joelle looked back over the seat. "I think I left my stomach back on the second dip." She caught her breath. "I'll bet that's fun on a bike."

  "It is. Although, I tried it on a skateboard once, and it didn't go too well. Left a few layers of skin on the road."

  "Ouch." She leaned back and touched her mouth. "I think the pout is gone. Thank you."

  "You're welcome. I've got one more cool thing to show you." I pulled off onto the dirt road that led to the river, a ten food wide stretch of running water that took a pretty wild ride over a wall of rocks.

  I parked on the side of the road. "We'll have to hike in a bit."

  Joelle looked pointedly down at her bare legs and sneakers. "I'm not exactly dressed for a hike."

  "No? I was just thinking how much more enjoyable it will be with you wearing that short skirt. At least for me." I climbed out of the truck and walked around to her side. She had no need for me to help her out of the truck, but I liked to take advantage of any fucking excuse I could to touch her. I put my hands around her waist, and she braced her hands on my shoulders as I lifted her out of the truck. Her body slid down along mine as I slowly lowered her to the ground.

  "You do that very well, by the way." Her little nose scrunched. "I smell and hear water."

  "Yep." I took her hand. "It's the closest thing Tanglewood has to a waterfall. The snow melt from the peaks above town keeps the water running at a good pace all spring. Unfortunately, it's too treacherous to ride down, even in an inner tube. That Zach found out the hard way when he was fifteen and he tossed in an old tractor inner tube and jumped in after it. Broke his arm in two places, which ended his baseball season and just about every other fun thing you need two arms for."

  I led her through the trees toward the river. Her hand tightened around mine as the tree branches blotted out the starlight.

  "Poor Zach. I'll bet he was miserable."

  "See. That's what all the girls in town thought too. Boy, did he milk that broken arm after that. So much adoring sympathy that my dad finally had to start turning visitors away."

  As we drew closer, the musty green smell of river water filled the air. A fine mist sprayed us. "At the end of the rocks, the water flows into a few nice pools that make for great swimming holes in the summer."

  I climbed up on the flat outcropping of granite that overlooked the river. Then I turned around and gave Joelle a hand up. We stood and stared down at the long water snake, with its rough edges and jutting rocks.

  "It's beautiful." Joelle wrapped her hands around my arm. "Thank you for getting me out of that sour mood. I was starting to feel like a big old party pooper."

  I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her, holding her against me. I rested my chin on the top of her head. "You are not a party pooper. Shit, you were the only good thing about tonight, Joey."

  She rested her head against my chest and pulled my arms tighter around her like she was tightening a sweater. "You, Jesse Coltrane, are very good for a girl's ego."

  "Glad to help."

  With my arms still wrapped around her, I used my chin to move the hair back off her neck. Joelle flinched and giggled as I tickled her with my beard stubble. I pressed my mouth against her neck. She tilted her head, inviting me to continue.

  "God, Joelle, you smell and taste like heaven."

  "So, you know what heaven tastes like?" she asked, her voice growing more breathy as my mouth moved along her neck and behind her ear.

  "I don't know what it tastes like, but if it's even close to this—" I ran my tongue around her ear. "Then I'm regretting not working harder to get there." I slipped my hands underneath her shirt. My palms smoothed over the creamy skin on her belly. I pushed her bra up above her breasts.

  I ran my thumb over her nipple. It hardened beneath my touch. She pushed her breasts forward, wanting more. A quiet mewling sound fell off her lips and got lost in the roar of the water below as I teased her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. My cock pushed against my fly and against her bottom. She responded by wiggling her ass against me.

  "I need to touch you, Joelle." I smoothed my hands down to the short hem of her skirt and lifted it up, exposing her panties. She shivered slightly in my arms, but it seemed it had nothing to do with the cool night air.

  Her head lolled back against me, and she softened in my arms. I kissed her neck and kept one arm across her breasts, holding her against me as my free hand slid beneath her panties.

  "Spread your legs, baby. I need to touch you," I muttered against her ear.

  Her feet shifted apart. She grabbed hold of my forearm for support. My fingers slid through the moist heat pooling in her pussy.

  "Fuuck," I growled and moved my fingers deeper.

  As my fingers impaled her pussy, she gripped me as if her knees had grown useless. I could feel her heart beating beneath the hand I had across her breast. I continued kneading her nipple in my fingers, rolling it into a tight bud as I pushed the hand between her legs deeper. My thumb worked her clit as I impaled her pussy.

  I looked down and watched her face as her head rested against my chest. Her long lashes fluttered down as she closed her eyes and parted her lush lips. The erotic sounds rolling up from her throat made my cock ache with wanting her.

  Having her so close, flitting around the house with her musical laugh, her long legs and a face that I thought about in my dreams was like slow, sweet torture. I woke up wanting her. I went to bed wanting her. Cold showers and harsh self reminders that if I upset the balance, she might walk out of our lives forever kept me from acting out my deepest urges. But as I held her in my arms, bringing her slowly to climax, I could feel her wanting it. She moved against my hand, silently begging for me to give her more.

  "Oh, Jesse," she whimpered as her pussy grew hotter and wetter around my hand.

  "Come for me, Joelle."

  I moved my arm down to her waist to hold her securely. She rocked against the pressure of my hand and her thighs squeezed shut.

  "Jesse!" she cried as her pussy clamped around my hand, and her body trembled in my arms. I was holding her up completely now as she gripped my arms.

  A quiet moan rolled from her lips as she slowly relaxed against me.

  Joelle stared out at the river for a few minutes before she turned around and faced me. She curled her arms around my neck and lifted up on her toes to kiss me. "Jesse," she whispered against my mouth. The sound of it tightened my ribs around my heart.

  Joelle had come into our life. And from the first second that she'd fallen, cold and exhausted, into my arms, I knew nothing was ever going to be the same again.

  I had never felt this way about any woman. Ever. Sundance and Zach loved to tease me and call me Tin man, the guy who needed a heart. I had slowly started to believe them. But the woman in my arms had proved them wrong. I had a heart. It might have been buried deeper than the normal person's, but it had been exposed. The protective layers were gone, and I wondered just how the hell I was going to keep it from being shredded.

  Joelle ran her fingers along my beard. "What's that they say? Penny for your thoughts?"

  I laughed. "Zach would be the first to tell you that my thoughts aren't worth much more than that." I held her tightly against me. "I was just thinking about that first night when you came into the yard."

  "And stole your coat?"

  "Yep. Pretty thief. Maybe we should start a bar of our own and call it that and only allow in people we like."

  A sound in the bushes snagged our attention. She wiggled closer. I didn't mind. "They relocated that mountain lion last weekend. But we should probably head back to the truck before the squirrels start calling in reinforcements."

  I watched with interest as Joelle wrangled her skirt down below her panties. She gave it an extra tug. "I am totally siding with Anthony on this skirt," she muttered to herself.

  "Siding with Anthony?" I asked as I dropped down from the rock and took hold of her hand to help her down.

  "
This belonged to Sherry. Apparently, it was a source of contention between them. You never finished your penny thought." She took my hand and we walked back to the truck.

  "Oh, guess I didn't. There's not much to add. I was just thinking about that first night and . . ."

  She looked up at me with expectant brown eyes. "And?"

  I squeezed her hand in mine. "I'm just glad I left my coat out in the rain that night."

  19

  Joelle

  "Shit, these cellar steps are more rickety than I remembered."

  Zach had walked in front of me, deciding that if I tripped, his body would stop me from hurtling down to the bottom. I followed each of his footsteps, making sure to place my foot where he had stepped, assuming he knew the most solid path down.

  He reached the bottom and stopped. I hadn't anticipated it and smacked right into his back. I caught hold of his arm before bouncing backward onto the rough edged steps.

  Zach reached up and pulled on a thin chain dangling from overhead, and a light bulb sputtered on. He looked back. "Don't ask me why my great grandfather thought to put the light at the bottom of the steps instead of at the top." He waved his hand around the shadowy space. It was filled with dark silhouettes of old furniture and other things that were hard to make out in the dusty light. "No guarantees that we are the only living creatures down here at the moment. And no promises that my mom's easel is still down here."

  Earlier in the day, I'd mentioned how much I missed drawing and painting, something I had done a lot as a kid. Zach had told me that his mom liked to paint and that his dad had built her a really nice easel. And so, it was decided, that we would go on a search for it. Only now, standing in the cold, damp cellar that looked far more creepy than I'd expected, I wasn't so sure the quest for the easel was worth it.

  "We keep some storm supplies and heavy duty flashlights over here."

  The room wasn't large but I stayed right on Zach's heels, not wanting to get lost or sucked into the shadows by a monster sized rat. Zach reached into a set of metal shelves and pulled out a flashlight. He flipped it on, and the room lit up. He moved the big circle of light around, highlighting an old dresser, some boxes and a trunk. Most everything was coated with a heavy layer of dust and cobwebs.

  "I think the last time I saw the easel, it was tucked behind that old trunk. Let's start there." Zach walked over and hovered the flashlight over the cluttered crevice behind the trunk. "Ah ha." He handed me the flashlight. "Hold this and keep an eye out for moving critters."

  "Oh god, moving critters. O.K." I held the light over him as he draped himself over the trunk and moved things around. A few grunts and cuss words followed before his arm emerged with a piece of wood. "Here's a leg."

  I took the piece of wood from his hand, and he returned to his treasure hunt. "Here's another piece."

  I took what looked like the railing to rest paint and brushes on from his hand, then he went back to fish for more. Watching him lean far over the trunk, with his butt and legs wriggling behind him, put a smile on my face.

  "May I just mention, that if I were to take a picture of this scene, hunky Zach Coltrane draped provocatively over a storage trunk, I'd get a million likes on it."

  He gave his bottom an extra wiggle. "Mighty fine, I know. Think this is it." He lifted up another piece of the easel, the biggest piece yet and grinned victoriously. We both looked at the collection of broken pieces. "Guess it's going to need a little repair."

  "A little. Hey, what's in the trunk? Some family secrets or a hidden trove of family jewels? Or maybe a body?"

  "Said the girl who has apparently watched one too many horror movies." Zach looked down at it and pulled the lock open. "Probably just a bunch of old shit my mom got tired of looking at in the house." The painted edges of the storage chest crackled as Zach popped it open. He yelled and shot back. I screamed and headed for the stairs, only to be followed by a stream of laughter.

  I stopped and felt my face warm with embarrassment as I turned back to him. "Guess I have seen one too many." I headed back to him, feeling like an utter dork.

  Zach reached inside and pulled out two umbrellas, both of which would no longer keep out the rain. He tossed them aside. I looked over his shoulder. There were stacks of linens and boxes of paperwork. "See, nothing but a bunch of boring stuff."

  I reached past him and grabbed hold of a photo album before he could close the lid. He stared at it as I clutched it against me, letting him know that I was going to look at it no matter how much he protested.

  "You don't want to look at that. It's just a bunch of pictures of Jesse and me growing up."

  "Oh, but I do want to look at it. In fact, I can't wait to get out of this musty cellar and check out every cute picture. I'll bet you two were adorable."

  Zach shook his head. "I was, but Jesse had a big head. Still does, if you look at him at just the right angle. Like a fucking human Pez dispenser."

  I followed him to the steps. He turned off the light bulb and used the flashlight to lead us safely up the sketchy stairs. I headed straight to the couch with the photo album.

  Zach turned toward the kitchen. "Not sure if I can withstand the humiliation of you seeing me in my little league uniform or worse in a diaper. Want a soda?"

  "No thanks." I sat down, and before I even opened up the album, a picture slipped out. It had the watermark on the back from a professional photography studio. I turned it over. It was Zach, seventeen or eighteen, with only a shadow of a beard and no traces of ink peering out past the sleeves or collar of his suit. He was standing in front of a giant silver cutout of a star, and standing in front of him was a petite girl with black hair and emerald green eyes, dressed in a shimmery gold prom dress. They both wore matching pink roses, his in a boutonniere and hers in a clunky wrist corsage.

  I stared at the picture and wondered if I was looking at Sage. Zach was wearing his subdued smile. His arm was wrapped tightly around her, which sent a pang of jealousy through me. I laughed quietly at my reaction, but even after a proper mental scolding, the envy was still there.

  Zach returned to the room with a drink. He sat down on the couch next to me. "What do you have there?"

  I pushed the picture in front of him. "I take it this was your prom?" The next question was at the tip of my tongue, but I waited first to see his reaction.

  He fell silent as he stared down at the picture. It took him a second to recover, which was even more of a reaction than I'd expected. "Yeah. Shit, I hated putting on a suit."

  "Is that Sage?"

  Zach nodded half-heartedly as he smoothed his thumb over the picture and studied it, almost as if he'd forgotten I was sitting there. Then he sucked in a deep breath and handed it back to me like he would have any meaningless photo of the past. But his initial reaction had assured me, it was anything but meaningless.

  "What else? Now that you're holding those pictures, I might as well sit here and suffer humiliation firsthand." Then, without warning, he took hold of my waist and hauled me onto his lap, photo album and all. The flirtatious move had erased some of the gloom the prom picture had caused. I hadn't expected to be so taken aback by the way he looked at it, but I was relieved that the moment had passed. It was easier to push the inconvenient stuff to the back of my mind.

  I settled into the warm cradle of his arms, and as I wriggled into place, a low groan rumbled in his throat.

  I blinked innocently at him. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

  "Funny girl."

  I held back a smile as I opened up the book. The first picture was a small boy with a mound of blond hair straddling a black and red bicycle. "This has to be you."

  "Yes, I had a head that was in proportion to my body." He flipped past a few pages and pointed to a picture that mirrored his bicycle picture, only the rider had straight brown hair, and, yes, a head that was a bit too big for the skinny body beneath. It was easy to recognize the smile, only there were a few less teeth than now. "Am I right? Like a damn bobble h
ead."

  "Maybe it's because he's got a really big brain," I suggested.

  "Yeah, that's the theory he likes to spout, but I think he's just deformed."

  I smacked his chest. "Mean big brother."

  I rested my head against his shoulder. I'd grown to love the smoky aroma both he and Jesse always wore on their clothes and hair. I'd even grown to love the way their steel toed boots sounded on the wood floor and the sound of their voices rolling through the yard and into the house as they yelled to each other over the sound of the forge and tools.

  I turned the page. "Dad?" I asked.

  "Yep."

  Their dad looked like a stern man with iron thick forearms. Jesse had his coloring but Zach had his face shape and mouth. I pointed at a picture of him, where he was holding an elegant but menacing-looking sword. "Did he make that sword?"

  "Yep. It was probably one of his best blades." Zach's beard flicked back and forth as he seemed to get lost in a distant memory. "It was the last thing he finished before he died." He closed the album and I wondered if it was hard for him to look at his dad's picture.

  I stayed on his lap, and my eyes drifted closed as he smoothed his hand over my back. "How is it working for Sherry?"

  "She's great. Couldn't ask for a better boss. I'm having a hard time believing how lucky I got by hopping off the train in Tanglewood. I feel like so many of the pieces of my life that have been missing since I lost Lolly and . . ." I stopped there, not wanting to bring up Bobby. He was a subject I worked every day to erase from my memory. But he had left more than enough permanent scars behind, making the task nearly impossible. "I'm just thankful."

  A car door outside made Bear sit up on his pillow. His tail wagged, signaling that Jesse was home. Zach tensed underneath me. Without discussion, or any direct request from Zach, I scrambled off his lap. And that was when it struck me. I had Zach time, and I had Jesse time, moments when things grew more intimate than just talking, eating and laughing together. But those shared moments of physical affection were never shared between the three of us. There was never Jesse and Zach time. Was that the key? Was that why this seemingly complicated mess stayed clear of tangles? They both knew that I cared deeply about them, but maybe I was the only one who truly knew just how deep that affection went. I'd come into this so broken and lost that it seemed I'd allowed myself to be greedy.