Skid

  “Something is not right with that ACI. I’m going to go find him.” She unbuckled her seat belt.

  “What about the pig?”

  She paused at the cockpit door. “Under no circumstance are you to leave the cockpit.”

  Danny nodded. They were never to have two pilots out of the cockpit at once, except on the rare occasion that one pilot was on break and another needed to use the restroom. Then a flight attendant had to stand in the cockpit and the flying pilot had to put on an oxygen mask.

  “Unless…” She looked out the peephole.

  “Unless what?”

  She left.

  “Unless what?” Danny asked James.

  “I guess unless things get really out of control.”

  “I don’t know.” Danny sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Half the time I don’t even know what she’s talking about.” His head was starting to pound. “Okay, let’s come up with some ideas on how to catch this pig, just in case we can’t find a lasso. I thought maybe we could block one of the aisles with a couple of beverage carts, maybe have two big guys sit with their backs against them so the pig can’t push them over, and then—”

  “I think we should get some of those tiny vodka bottles. Get him drunk.”

  “That’s your solution? How are we supposed to make a pig binge drink?”

  Suddenly, someone pounded at the door. James looked through the peephole. “It’s GiGi.”

  “Make certain she’s alone.”

  “She is. She’s got a cart blocking the aisle.”

  “She must be terrified.”

  “Um…she looks mad.”

  “Let me in!” GiGi hollered through the door.

  “Let her in.”

  James opened the door, and GiGi shoved him aside. She slammed the cockpit door, and it clicked as she turned around. “What is going on? The captain is out there!”

  “Yeah. We kinda figured that out,” James said.

  “She’s doing nothing about the pig! She’s looking for the stupid ACI.”

  Danny tried a calm voice. “She sort of thinks he’s a, uh…”

  “The pig is terrifying people!”

  “Personally,” James said, “I’m never eating bacon again.”

  “Look, GiGi, I appreciate your take on this, but what do you want us to do? We can’t leave the cockpit.”

  “The captain said, ‘unless things got out of control,’” James added.

  Danny shot him a look. “She didn’t say that. She just said, ‘unless.’”

  “With the captain, you have to read between the lines, Danny.”

  GiGi’s nostrils flared like a raging bull’s. “What do you call this? I’d call it out of control!”

  “The pig isn’t hurting anyone,” Danny tried.

  “Look, Danny,” James said, “GiGi’s right. If this doesn’t qualify for out of control, what does?”

  Danny held his head in his hands.

  “Danny had the idea of using a couple of the carts to barricade the pig,” James offered.

  “That’s a start,” GiGi grumbled.

  “We’re not supposed to leave the cockpit,” Danny protested.

  “We’re also not supposed to have a wild animal on the plane. I’ve got a bunch of people in hysterics, six of my flight attendants crying, and a pig who isn’t fond of tortillas. I need your help.”

  Danny tried to listen to his gut.

  James said, “Leave GiGi here, as is protocol, and try to get the pig under control. What can the ACI say? We did nothing? How is that going to reflect on us? It’ll be fine. I’ve got the plane. It’s all under control in here.”

  Danny took a deep breath. GiGi, normally overbearing, looked desperate.

  He stood. “All right. I’ll go. But James, whatever you do, do not leave this cockpit.”

  “I know, Danny. Just go.”

  Chapter 20

  Jake had been dreaming the equivalent of a running-through-a-daisy-field dream. It was a ridiculous dream and he knew it even while he enjoyed every moment of it. He wanted to stop, but it was like skipping. Once you get into a groove, it could carry you a long way. So he skipped along like a little kid, enjoying every fabricated moment his mind created.

  He saw his grandmother taking him on a long walk by the North Sea. Sharing albums full of memories. Giving him wisdom he was too young to understand but that would transform his life someday. Fixing him enormous scrambled-egg breakfasts, which was strange because he hated eggs and had no idea why he would dream about them.

  He knew it was silly. He’d never met his grandmother as a child or otherwise, and was now an adult with a job he was certain met nobody’s standard as a job. And by the few conversations they’d had on the phone, he knew this wasn’t a woman who would have warm cookies waiting for him.

  But he was asleep, comfortable, and happy, so he kept dreaming and tried to ignore the strange screams that filtered in every once in a while. He figured it was his conscience bending his dream in an Andy Warhol sort of way, trying to save him from believing it.

  “It’s him!”

  That shout came in a weird moment, right as his grandmother handed him a lavishly wrapped gift box. He continued sleeping, though, until something knocked him in the shoulder, forcing him to open his eyes.

  The screams were real. He stood up, slamming his head into the plastic ceiling above him. “Ow!”

  “Sir, sit down!” A flight attendant rushed by, grabbing Jake’s shoulder and throwing him back into his seat.

  A set of unfamiliar eyes focused on him. A blond dude knelt next to the old lady whose mom died, fanning her with a magazine. “You okay?” he asked.

  Jake rubbed the top of his head. “What’s going on?”

  “The pig is loose.” He mouthed it, holding his hand up to block his words from the old lady.

  Jake looked around, noticing immediately that the old guy and his younger woman had disappeared. “Where’d they go?”

  “Who?”

  “That couple on the other side of the plane, sitting in the back row like me.”

  “I don’t know. I think the guy freaked out about the pig or something. He ran that way.”

  Jake noticed the dead woman’s toes were now covered.

  “Stop fanning me!” the old lady barked. “All the air in the world isn’t going to make any difference!”

  “How about a cup of water?” the blond guy asked her.

  “Fine. Just stop hovering over me.”

  The man climbed out of his seat, looked around in the galley for a moment, then sat across the aisle from Jake. “I guess I should wait until a flight attendant comes back.”

  Jake tried not to engage, as the whole idea of sitting back here was to avoid everyone else, but his curiosity got the better of him. “Why are there eggs spilled all over the floor?”

  “The pig is hungry, but he doesn’t like his eggs wrapped in a tortilla, so they’ve asked everyone to get the tortilla out of the way.” He thrust his arm across the aisle. “Hank.”

  “Hi.”

  “Man, this has been some flight. This is only my second trip flying.”

  “Oh. Wow.”

  “Yeah. I guess they’re not usually like this.”

  Jake smiled. “Never flown with a pig or a dead person before.”

  “Don’t you think the flight attendants are doing a good job?”

  Jake nodded. Besides being obsessed about whether he was the right temperature, he supposed they were decent. At least they let him sleep instead of waking him up for breakfast.

  Hank sighed. “I guess I should go back to my seat, but I don’t really want to. It’s peaceful back here.”

  Jake nodded, which was why he’d love it if this guy would return to wherever he came from. “They’ll catch the pig eventually.”

  “Oh, it’s not really the pig. It’s a woman.”

  “Snoring?”

  Hank laughed. “No.”

  “Talking your ear off?” r />
  “Sort of. But in a good way. She’s really sweet. She’s had the terrible luck of finding her ex-boyfriend onboard with another woman.”

  Jake winced. “Ooh. Ouch.”

  “Yeah.” Hank rested his head against the back of his seat. “She wanted me to pose as her boyfriend, make him jealous.”

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “Except she’s a perfectly wonderful person without him. I told her she doesn’t need a guy to make herself feel worthy.”

  “Are you a psychologist or something?”

  Hank laughed. “No.”

  “Huh. So you’re not going to go along with her plan?”

  “Well,” he said, a smile slipping onto his lips, “after considering it and getting some advice from my sister, I think I will. My sister Cassie always says I’m not bold enough, you know? She says if I want to date, I need to put myself out there and take the risk. So I’m thinking, why not? Why not risk it for a girl in polka dots?”

  The girl in polka dots who had nearly attacked him in the men’s bathroom? Aside from that, she was good looking.

  “Well, good luck.” Jake hoped that would end their talk. It amazed him the kinds of conversations that took place on an airplane. He’d once heard a woman confess an affair to a total stranger sitting next to her. For two and a half hours she went on about every detail of her life. Maybe it was easier to talk to a stranger.

  “What’s taking you to Amsterdam?” Hank asked.

  “My grandmother.”

  “Oh, how nice.”

  “I’ve never met her.”

  “Wow. That sounds interesting.”

  “We’ll see.” Jake cleared his throat. “I’ve always wanted a grandma, you know?”

  “Doesn’t everyone?” Hank smiled.

  “Yeah.”

  “Family is important. They mean everything to me. I don’t know what I would do without them. It’s worth it, even if it takes going halfway around the world to get to them.”

  Jake nodded. It affirmed something inside of him, something he hadn’t been able to explain.

  They heard the pig squeal again.

  “You should go,” Jake said. “There’s nothing more romantic than saving a woman from a pig. You’ll be her hero forever.”

  “Good point. Thanks.”

  The man rose and hurried up the aisle. Nice guy. Jake wished him the best. Polka-dot girl was hot.

  Score one for the team, dude.

  Danny found GiGi holding on to a wall and picking egg off the bottom of her shoe.

  “GiGi! Why aren’t you in the cockpit?”

  “Don’t have a cow. I came out to help with the pig. Gloria’s there for now.”

  Danny wanted to argue that she’d completely disobeyed his order, but he had more pressing issues at the moment.

  “Okay, listen,” he said, “I need vodka, or whatever you have. As much of it as you have.”

  She looked like she might take off her shoe and impale him with it. “This is no time for a joke. We could all use the alcohol, so don’t tempt me.”

  “It’s not for me. It’s for the pig.”

  GiGi folded her arms. “And how, exactly, are you going to do that? Every time anyone comes near him, he charges or squeals or blows fire from his nostrils.”

  “I haven’t quite figured out how, but we have got to sedate him again.”

  “Again?”

  Danny whirled around to find Anna Sue behind them.

  “What do you mean ‘again’?” she asked.

  Any explanation froze on his tongue. How was he supposed to handle this? Admit to drugging the animal and risk causing Anna Sue to flip out? Or lie his way out of it?

  “Ma’am, you need to go back to your seat right now,” GiGi said.

  “But I want to know how Chucky is doing. Is he okay?”

  GiGi leaned backward for a glance down the aisle. “For the moment, yes. He’s eating eggs. So let’s just let him eat and go from there.”

  Anna Sue’s soft, saucerlike eyes turned harder. “What are you planning to do to him?”

  Danny filled his cheeks with air and blew. “Anna Sue, honestly, I don’t know. I mean, I know how to land a plane in the dark and bring a 767 out of a roll, but I have to be honest with you, I don’t know how to get a pig back in its seat.”

  Anna Sue shook her head. “I don’t know what’s the matter with him. He’s a trained animal. He should not be acting this way. The biggest problem I have with him at home is that he likes to chew plastic. I’ve gotten him a few plastic toys, you know? Sometimes he’s naughty and chews other plastic things, but that’s it.”

  Danny realized that despite everything going on, Anna Sue was holding up better than she realized. If ever there was a time for an emotionally challenged woman to come unraveled, this would be it.

  “Anna Sue,” he said, “you’re doing remarkably well. Maybe you don’t need the pig with you. At least not right now.”

  She pondered this. “For a little bit, with all the excitement, I almost forgot I was on an airplane.”

  “Stay with us, Anna Sue. You’re doing fine. Don’t go to that place. Just know that we’re going to handle it.”

  She drew in a deep breath. “Just promise me you won’t hurt him.”

  “GiGi!” Kim shouted. They all turned. Kim had her arms raised in a giant “what are you doing?” gesture.

  “I know, I know,” GiGi said. “I’m getting to that. Hold your horses.”

  “Getting to what?” Danny asked. He nodded reassuringly to Anna Sue, and she made her way back to her seat.

  GiGi rolled her eyes. “Come with me.”

  Danny followed, still trying to figure out how to entice Chucky to drink hard liquor. Maybe a margarita?

  They arrived at the middle of the plane to find the FBI agent in a tizzy, reminding him of a flight attendant. This didn’t immediately alarm him, because he was well aware that any woman, law enforcement or not, could become tizzy-fied at a moment’s notice.

  Along with Agent Tasler, several flight attendants were clustered around the four central bathrooms.

  “I stood up for one second!” the agent said.

  “Everyone, keep your voices down!” Danny whispered. “Why are we all standing by the bathrooms?”

  “One, you can step aside when the pig comes through,” GiGi said mildly. “Two, Leendert has locked himself in the bathroom.”

  “Locked himself in the bathroom? Is he trying to escape?”

  “He thinks someone is trying to kill him.”

  “He’s old, he’s apparently not fond of dead bodies, and I think he just went over the edge.” The agent knocked on the door. “Get yourself out here this instant!”

  GiGi glared at Danny. “Maybe Leendert could use some vodka too.”

  “I can bust this door down,” the agent said. “One side kick and I’ve got him.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Danny said. “We can open it using a Bic pen. The question is, what is he going to do when we open the door?”

  “The question is, what am I going to do?” the agent said, loud enough for Leendert to hear.

  “I’m telling you, he’s going to kill me!” Leendert shouted through the door.

  Danny shook his head. “Who does he think is going to kill him?”

  “Some guy in the back of the airplane. It’s ridiculous. He’s being paranoid. Really paranoid for a man who steals from old ladies.”

  “So, what do you want to do?” GiGi asked.

  “Does Leendert still have cuffs on?” Danny asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I do not want to draw attention to the fact that we have a distraught prisoner onboard too. The passengers are already stressed as it is. We’ve got to find a way to get Leendert back to his seat in a calm, peaceful, incognito way. Got it? For now, let’s just leave him in the bathroom until he settles down. I’ve got to figure out how to catch that pig.”

  Kim said, “He’s slowing down a little.
He doesn’t seem as agitated, but he flips out every time someone tries to reach for him.”

  Danny leaned against the door of the opposite bathroom, his fingers tearing through his hair. Think. Think. Think. Not about Maya. Why was he thinking of Maya at a time like this, with a prisoner locked in a bathroom and a pig roaming the aircraft?

  Perhaps it was because Maya represented betrayal. He’d invested six years of his life, and in one day she was gone.

  What about the twenty years he’d invested in his career? Would it just as easily slip away? He couldn’t let that happen.

  With both hands, he pushed himself away from the bathroom door.

  Then he got a brilliant idea.

  Chapter 21

  It was everything she’d dreamed it would be. She stood, pretending to stretch. She turned, waiting for the passenger next to her, who’d finally introduced himself by name—Neil—to stand and embrace her from behind. She had to be at the right angle to see Jeff but not look directly at him.

  Lucy knew from the audible gasp that he noticed her a few seconds after she stood up. He started to say something, though Lucy couldn’t tell what or to whom he spoke. Then Neil did it up right. Cool as a cucumber, he made sure his Rolex was visible as he nuzzled her neck, then brushed her hair out of her eyes.

  In her peripheral vision, she saw Jeff’s jaw drop open. She grinned at Neil, turned, and sat back down in her seat.

  The positive energy returned like a force field around her. Nothing would bring her down now, not even Neil and his hot-and-heavy breath, anxious to invade her space. He wanted to know, “What restaurant? When? How long will you be in the Netherlands?”

  She turned to him. “Let me savor this moment, okay? Just for a second?”

  “He looked shocked. I could see him.”

  “What did the woman do?”

  “She was kind of oblivious, from what I could tell.”

  “I wonder if he’ll tell her.”

  “I wouldn’t. I don’t want the lady I’m with distracted by anything.”

  Lucy frowned. She didn’t like that.

  “Trust me,” Neil said. “He’s shocked. Don’t overplay this thing. Now, about dinner.”

  Hank returned to his seat, sliding in so gently she hardly realized he was there until he said, “Hey.”