When I Found You
She had to suck it up and face Logan. How could she not accept such a huge honor in person? In a way, it made up for her rejection by the force...to be recognized by the chief of police for the department she’d wanted to work for. If her goal had been to make a difference, it seemed that all these years later she had.
The ceremony was only a few days away. She’d have to steel herself against seeing Logan. She’d be polite. She’d be pleasant.
She’d keep her distance as much as possible.
She didn’t think she could stand much more.
* * *
THE DAY OF the ceremony arrived quickly. Ariana was glad for it.
She was excited and honored to receive the recognition, and knowing that she’d saved the life of a police service dog rather than that of a human officer didn’t trivialize it for her. She knew how closely bonded the K-9 handlers were with their dogs, and she appreciated the important and dangerous job the dogs performed.
Still, she just wanted the event to be over.
As much as she was apprehensive about seeing Logan, to her surprise she no longer had such reservations about seeing Boomer. It astonished but also gratified her to realize that she hadn’t been frightened, even when she was essentially lying on top of the dog, shielding him. At least something good had come of it, if she was over her phobia.
Ariana contemplated wearing a dress for the occasion—something celebratory, and maybe just wanting to let Logan see her in a way he never had before. That was wrong, too. She thought about her suits, and decided on the rich, royal blue one that complemented her skin tone and eyes. The severely tailored jacket showed off her slim figure, and the pleated, flirty A-line skirt that went with it was all feminine, a style she didn’t often go for.
It mattered how she looked, and it had nothing to do with the expected presence of the media.
She’d first coiled her hair in a bun, but at the last minute decided to undo it and leave it down. That was vanity, as well, she had to admit. She wanted Logan to see her at her best. As childish as it seemed, she wanted him to see what he’d missed out on. She applied eye shadow, liner, mascara, blush and a light coat of lip gloss. She slipped into high-heeled shoes, another rarity for her.
Staring into the mirror, she was pleased with her appearance.
“Hey, Sabrina, what do you think?” she asked when the cat walked in. Ariana scratched Sabrina behind her ears and took the low purr as a sign of approval. Let Logan eat his heart out, she thought.
She could have been picked up by a uniformed officer, but she’d declined. As much as it would’ve added to the thrill, it would’ve prevented a quick-and-easy escape in her own vehicle. If her emotions got the best of her and she had to leave in a hurry, she didn’t want to risk breaking down in front of a stranger—not to mention a person whom Logan would probably know. She anticipated that she might have to make a fast exit. If she couldn’t think of Logan without being overwhelmed, what would happen when she saw him?
And she did, as soon as she entered the banquet hall where the awards ceremony was being held. Her eyes were drawn to him immediately through the crowded room. She’d never seen him in his full dress uniform, which he was wearing today.
Why did he have to look so darn good in it? Boomer was by his side, wearing his police collar and badge, and a spiffy little vest. He was being decorated today, as well.
Concentrate. Concentrate on why you’re here, she ordered herself.
Logan must have seen her, too. With Boomer trotting beside him, he was making his way toward her.
He stopped inches in front of her, and she felt as if his eyes were boring right into her.
“Ariana. You’re...stunning,” he said after a moment’s hesitation.
Certain she was blushing, she bent down to greet Boomer. It amazed her that she didn’t feel the least bit apprehensive petting the dog, or even when he licked her hand.
When she straightened again, she preoccupied herself with a small piece of lint she’d noticed on the sleeve of her jacket.
Logan held a hand out toward her. “Ariana, I—”
“May I have your attention, please!” Whatever Logan might have been about to say was interrupted when a woman dressed in civilian clothes called for the attendees’ attention, asked them to be seated and introduced Chief of Police Cohen. Both she and Logan turned to face the podium.
The chief took the stage and went through the preliminaries. Ariana was acutely aware of Logan standing only inches away from her, where they’d been asked to wait until they were introduced. She prayed they’d get on with the ceremony soon as she didn’t know how long she could stand there and not humiliate herself by throwing herself into his arms.
When Ariana’s name was called, she nearly sprinted up to the podium, only to be horrified to hear that the medal would be presented to her jointly by the chief and Boomer’s handler, Captain Logan O’Connor. She forced the smile to remain on her face.
Logan and Boomer mounted the podium. She had no idea what the chief or Logan were saying. She found she was having trouble breathing let alone hearing over the roar of blood rushing in her ears. All she could think of was escaping, going home and burying her head under her pillow.
The thunderous round of applause was her cue that she could make her way off the podium, and she took the opportunity to do so quickly.
She wished she could’ve enjoyed the proceedings and taken pride in the honor she was given, but she was too broken up about seeing Logan again. She had every intention of rushing out of the auditorium, but a firm hand on her arm forestalled her.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Calvin Murdoch, her CEO, demanded.
Ariana hadn’t realized he’d been there. Calvin had said nothing to her about attending. Of course, she’d been so fixated on Logan, she’d neglected to look around to see who else she might know in the crowd.
“I... I have an appointment. I don’t want to be late.”
“An appointment? On a Saturday? And when you’re getting one of the highest forms of recognition the SDPD offers to civilians?” He shook his head. “Surely you can spare a little more time. Molly’s here,” he said. “She mentioned that there are a number of reporters wanting interviews with you. It’s an opportunity for you to get us some positive coverage. To start rebuilding the reputation of the airport.”
Releasing his hold on her arm, Calvin waved to someone behind her to join them. Ariana glanced back. Her desire to flee returned with a vengeance.
Logan, with Boomer heeling by his side, was walking toward her and Calvin.
Ariana was searching for a way to avoid him, but Calvin broke into her thoughts.
“I owe you an apology.” When she shifted her startled gaze to Calvin, his eyes were on her and his lips were compressed into a grim line. “I doubted you. I shouldn’t have, but I did. The board was putting so much pressure on me with what was going on. When that spineless incompetent Angus Stewart from the TSA started to insinuate that you weren’t up for the job, it gave me a way out. It only added fuel to the fire when George approached me, expressing his concerns about you.” Calvin’s laugh was harsh, but he held her gaze. “To think I trusted him over you. I’m sincerely sorry.
“It’s not the type of leader I am. At least not the type I want to be. I sacrificed you to take some of the burden off me. You are one of my key team members and deep down I knew you were managing as well as anyone could under the circumstances, but...”
> He shrugged. “I was wrong.” He gestured toward the direction from which Logan was approaching. “And Captain O’Connor stood up for you. Each and every time your competence was challenged by anyone—Angus or a member of the board—O’Connor never wavered. He was in your court, solid and constant... I should have listened.” Ariana heard footsteps and clicking nails on hardwood directly behind her.
Ariana now knew that Logan had been working with the Drug Enforcement Administration and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives to break up the smuggling ring. Of course he couldn’t see her nor could he tell her what was happening while she was a suspect. What Calvin had revealed was more for her to digest. Contrary to what she’d believed, Logan had not been working to undermine her. He’d supported her. According to what Calvin had said, Logan might well have been her only supporter...and perhaps responsible for her not losing her job.
She struggled to keep the shock from showing on her face as she turned and her eyes locked with Logan’s.
Her reservations...her conflicts with Logan had been misplaced. No wonder she couldn’t make sense of why he’d want to undermine her...because he hadn’t been. She’d been so wrong and so unfair in judging him. She’d been wrong with her mind, but not her heart.
When she’d chastised herself for loving a man who’d treat her the way she believed he had, her heart had been unwavering and recognized what her mind had not.
Her heart had been steady and true.
She loved him and it appeared that there was no reason for her not to have.
Although the realization caused her heart to soar, the sensation was short-lived.
To love and not have that love returned was worse than not to love at all, wasn’t it? Would she be able to live with the emptiness and ache that caused? Or was it possible that he did want her? If they could just start over...
* * *
“ARIANA,” LOGAN SAID when he reached them, and held a hand out to Calvin. “Mr. Murdoch.”
Logan was proud of the recognition Ariana was receiving. Truth be told, he’d been instrumental in making it happen. He’d put in the recommendation for her saving Boomer. More than that. He’d lobbied vehemently for it and made the case personally to Chief Cohen. Ariana deserved the commendation as much as anyone.
What he hadn’t counted on was that simply seeing her again nearly brought him to his knees.
He loved her. There was no question in his mind.
In that instant of looking into her eyes, a flood of images flashed through his mind. Of his mother, broken and forlorn after the death of his father. Of his parents, him and Becca in a happier time. His mother had had a good life. She hadn’t always been the way he remembered her near the end. She’d loved and laughed and raised two kids. Somewhere along the way the fear had begun to consume her, but that didn’t detract from a lifetime of happiness and love.
He thought of Cal and Jessica, their two little girls and their joy about adding a new baby to the family. Of Rick and Madison, and how Madison had complete trust in Rick regardless of the perils of his job. And of Ariana, so calm and composed when they were hunting down Gallagher, and the risk she took, despite her fear of dogs, to save Boomer.
He’d loved his mother and would forever, but maybe her reaction wasn’t universal. Maybe in his memory it had become exaggerated. Maybe things could be different with Ariana.
Was it right for him to deny himself and—looking deep in Ariana’s eyes and recognizing the depth of her feelings for him—deny her a lifetime of love?
If she’d still have him.
Calvin said something that Logan had missed. He tried to pick up the conversation without having to admit he hadn’t been paying attention because he’d been daydreaming. About Ariana.
“...wanted to thank you for all that you did for us, apprehending Gallagher and, working with the federal agencies, putting an end to the smuggling.” He extended a hand again and Logan shook it. “On a personal note, thank you for standing up for Ariana. I know I should’ve been the one to do it. I failed her. You didn’t. I respect that type of integrity.”
Calvin released Logan’s hand and shook Ariana’s. “Congratulations and well deserved,” he said to Ariana, before walking away.
Logan turned to Ariana. Her eyes were huge and round, her mouth slightly open. All he could think of was taking her into his arms and kissing her.
“You supported me. You stood up for me...” Her voice was a soft whisper.
“I don’t know why you believed I wouldn’t. You’re good at what you do. Very good. I respect that.”
“The way you acted...” He recognized the bewilderment on her face as much as her struggle to comprehend. She glanced at all the people around them. She must have realized this was not the time or the place for her to try to understand what had happened. He stepped in, close enough he could see the thin black rim around her light blue irises. He’d been so wrong, too, he realized.
Ariana was strong and steady. She valued the work he did, had in fact aspired to do the same. It didn’t take away from his mother or his love for her, but Ariana was a very different person. She respected rather than feared what he did.
He shook his head to clear the haze he’d allowed to exist there and impair his thinking for far too long. He reached toward Ariana’s hand, but didn’t dare take it into his, as much as he wanted to. Not here. Not now.
He feared her rejection. Believed he deserved it.
Instead, he brushed his hand over the back of hers. It would have to last him until they could be alone. Until he could explain, and hope...hope they could have a new start. “We need to talk, Ariana...”
“Okay,” she said, her voice so eager that it gave him courage.
When she started to move in the direction of the exit, he laid a hand on her shoulder. “No. Not now.” He wanted to grin when he saw the disappointment on her face. He smiled. “This is your moment. Enjoy it. Take it all in. Do the interviews Calvin wants you to do.” When she hesitated, he did take her hand into his briefly and squeezed. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll be right here.”
She sighed his name, and he could no longer resist. He didn’t care who was watching. He cupped the back of her head gently. Briefly, light as a feather, he brushed his lips across hers. “We’ll talk when you’re done, but know that I love you.”
He saw a shimmer of moisture in her eyes, and a faint smile on her lips. “Oh, Logan, I love you, too.”
Now he grinned. “We have a lot to talk about. Go!” He gave her a gentle nudge in the direction of the airport’s vice president of communications and the reporters clustered around her. Chief Cohen was there, too. Logan knew there’d be pictures of Ariana and the chief in the papers and newscasts. He knew Ariana well enough that it would mean a lot to her. She’d earned it.
He watched as she walked up to the group, shook hands, smiled, spoke into microphones and posed for pictures. Logan was immensely proud of her. He knew he’d not only found his lifelong love, but an equal partner, a woman both spirited and capable. He saw her shake her head decisively at a statement someone made. She was determined and principled, too. He chuckled to himself as he contemplated life with Ariana. It wouldn’t always be easy, and it would never be boring. That was okay with him.
It would be a true partnership, an intellectual challenge, built on unwavering love and devotion.
He kept his eyes on her as she wrapped up the interviews. When she s
tarted to move with her confident, practical stride toward him, he noticed a sexy, teasing smile, and something deeper and more serious—a promise, perhaps—in the depth of her eyes.
He knew he’d have to convince her to marry him.
And soon.
Boomer let out an impatient whine. Logan placed his hand on the dog’s head to settle him. He could relate to Boomer. He was feeling impatient, too. He didn’t want to waste another moment without Ariana, knowing how much he loved, adored and respected her.
When she stepped up to him and into his arms, her eyes closed and she brushed her lips across his.
“It hasn’t been easy or smooth, but I’m so glad I found you,” he murmured. Then he said again the words he’d been wanting to say to her so badly and for so long. “I love you.”
She smiled up at him. “I love you, too, and I’m so very fortunate to have found you,” she replied, before he lowered his lips to hers.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from SOPHIE’S PATH by Catherine Lanigan.
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