The Stranger's Shadow

  “You can catch a few winks yourself, too,” said Kofa. “I am quite capable of sitting behind the levers for a few hours.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “But it’s not going to work. First, I’m not sleepy yet. And even if I were . . . I’m very conservative, Kofa. I need a real bed. Although I’m not sure I’d be able to sleep even in a real bed now.”

  “Why not? Are you nervous?” said Kofa. “That’s unnecessary. Nothing extraordinary is required of you. You’ll stroll through the Dark Side, launch a few Lethal Spheres, and then call it a day. Nothing to get all worked up about. Fretting on the eve of any event that you consider to be extraordinary is one of your numerous bad habits.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” I said, nodding. “Maybe this is nothing extraordinary. Maybe. Fine, I believe you. But it’s still a dangerous undertaking, to battle Lonely Shadows and their suzerain. Don’t you think?”

  “It is. But so what?” said Kofa. “Numerous perils threaten each one of us on a daily basis. Take your crazy driving through the woods, for example. Do you see me fainting from fear or even fretting over it?”

  “Okay, I get your drift. Now please share your dinner with me. I don’t believe you’ve turned into a simpleminded tightwad. It’s not your style,” I said.

  “I am not greedy; I am mean,” said Kofa, handing me a tiny morsel of some wonderfully smelling mixture. “And don’t pressure me, Max. You can’t begin to imagine how tiring it is for me to be the good-natured portly fellow you’ve known for all this time.”

  “But you’ve always been the same person inside, right?” I said. “Melifaro told me that a long time ago your father put a spell on you that turned you into an affable, respectable gentleman. But you didn’t actually change, did you? Before my trip to Kettari, you turned me into a cute girl and Lady Sotofa made me drink Heavenly Half, but neither of you could teach me good manners. Have you heard of that potion?”

  “Of course. What made you think of it?”

  “She said back then that after a person drinks Heavenly Half he remains himself but everyone around sees him the way he wants them to see him. Did something similar happen to you?”

  “Similar, but not quite the same,” said Kofa and smiled suddenly. “Everyone sees me the way Xumka wanted them to see me. It wasn’t my choice. Generally, however, you’re right. Even such an accomplished magician as my father couldn’t have changed a person completely. Of course I’m always the same, but . . .”

  Kofa fell silent, as though he was weighing whether I deserved to be trusted. Finally he decided in my favor and continued.

  “In reality, I don’t resemble either of them: the fat one or the tall one. Yet I constantly have to be in the shoes of one of them. It’s great that there is a way for me to switch between personalities so easily once I grow tired of one of them: to leave the Capital or to come back. Even though it was hardly his intention, Xumka did me a great favor.”

  “You weren’t exactly on good terms with him, I take it?” I said, remembering my own father without much enthusiasm. I think he would also have put a spell or two on me if he could have. Then again, raising your children is, in and of itself, akin to putting evil spells on them. Day after day your parents try to turn you into someone you desperately don’t want to be. More often than not, unfortunately, your parents succeed.

  “To say we weren’t exactly on good terms is putting it mildly,” said Kofa, smirking. “But to Magicians with Xumka. I’d rather not talk about him, especially at night in the middle of the woods. Do you want another piece?”

  “You bet!” I said, smiling and taking another piece of perfectly cooked meat from his hands. “If it’s too taxing on you to be kind and affable, I can stand you this way until we return to Echo.”

  “I’ll let you in on my biggest secret. It makes absolutely no difference to me whether I’m kind or mean,” Kofa said. “I don’t give a flying fig, as you would have put it.”

  I was so shocked to hear that that I almost choked on my piece of meat.

  By morning I began to feel drowsy, but as it turned out, I had lost my only chance to kick Melifaro out of the back seat.

  “We’re almost there,” said Kofa. “Let’s find a place to hide the amobiler. And me.”

  “You?” I said.

  “Yes. I’ll have to stay in the woods while you’re loafing around on the Dark Side,” he said. “It would make no sense for me to go to Glenke’s house now while the Lonely Shadows are still guarding him.”

  “How will you know when it’s time to go?”

  “Simple. Melifaro will tell me.”

  “Tell you what?” Melifaro’s sleepy voice came from the back. He had just woken up and was turning his head every which way, trying to shake off the remains of the sleep.

  “What you’re supposed to tell me,” said Kofa. “Max, do you think that grove over there is just what we want?”

  “It’s your call. You’re going to be the one staying there,” I said, turning into a group of trees covered in vines. Behind the trees began a dense thicket of fragrant evergreen bushes. I thought my amobiler would be very comfortable there. I hoped that Kofa would, too. To be honest, I felt pretty wretched—small, tired, and empty inside. It still hadn’t quite hit home that I, and not someone else, was the one who would soon enter the Dark Side. Moreover, I’d be all alone because that lucky guy Kofa could stay here enjoying the new dawn, and Melifaro would be guarding an unfathomable border between two worlds—this one and the Dark Side. I still lacked the imagination necessary for understanding what exactly I was supposed to do there.

  I knew what was supposed to happen in theory, but that was purely academic knowledge. It was just enough to spoil the mood but insufficient to make me start taking action. I could use Lonli-Lokli’s holey cup right now, I thought. To drink some lousy drink from it and feel lightweight and omniscient. But Shurf and his cup had stayed in Echo. It looked like I’d have to rely on my own modest abilities. That thought only worsened my mood, which was already far from cheerful.

  “What’s wrong with you, Max?” said Melifaro. He looked dumbfounded. “What have you become, you monster? I can’t help wanting to cry, just looking at you.”

  “If you can’t help crying when you see me, then I have turned into an onion,” I said in a glum voice. “Right?”

  “Right,” said Kofa and laughed. “Leave him alone, Sir Melifaro. Let him indulge his misery if he has nothing better to do.”

  “Look, guys, I’m really sorry about this,” I said, smiling a guilty smile. “I know I’m being a jerk, but I’m really scared. No, it’s actually worse. I only think I should be scared, but I can’t be, no matter how I try.”

  “Do you really want to be scared?” said Melifaro.

  “Well, no . . .” I said.

  “Then there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t want to be scared, and you’re not. What’s with the gloomy face, then?”

  I grinned and began studying the trajectory of the load that had been lifted from my mind. I didn’t know why it had been lifted, but it was very considerate of it to desert me, nevertheless.

  “Max, we’d all be better off if you’d stop fretting about it and just go there already,” said Kofa. “Nothing is going to change if you keep dawdling here in the bushes for another dozen days. You’ll only lose the remains of your precious omnipotence.”

  “You’re right,” I said. “Melifaro, buddy, could you please walk with me to the bus stop? I don’t even know which direction it is.”

  “I’ve never heard anyone call the border between the World and the Dark Side the bus stop, whatever that is. I guess I haven’t watched enough movies to get your joke. Anyway, give me your hand and close your eyes. It’s getting light and you’ll be distracted. You’re so bad at focusing on anything.”

  “That I am,” I said, closing my eyes. “Kofa, if I don’t come back from the Dark Side, take my dog, okay? I think Droopy likes you.”

  “You should write a last will. You??
?ll be embarrassed when you return,” said Kofa.

  “I won’t be,” I said, laughing.

  Melifaro pulled me somewhere in the direction I was facing. I took a few unsteady steps and realized that walking with my eyes closed was truly pleasant. If you trusted your guide, that is.

  “Just don’t open them,” Melifaro said. “Or I’m going to have to start all over again. And it can be quite taxing with a trailer like you stuck to me.”

  “Who’s the trailer here?” I said.

  I felt easy and tranquil, as though I had just emptied a good dozen of Lonli-Lokli’s magical holey cups. A joyous power had flooded into me as soon as I took the first step toward the unknown.

  We walked for so long that I got used to wandering in voluntary darkness. I even got used to the fact I had gotten used to it, and that in itself takes a long time.

  “There,” said Melifaro, letting go of my hand. “You can look around now.”

  I opened my eyes. It was still dark, so Melifaro’s advice to look around sounded like he was mocking me. I raised my hand to my face and noticed that it was glowing with a dim green light. Then I looked at the other hand, but it remained an ordinary human extremity—no illumination whatsoever.

  “Never mind that,” said Melifaro. “Just one of the tricks this funny place loves to play on us. I’m staying here, Max. You can choose any direction you wish from here. Wherever you go, you’ll end up on the Dark Side and nowhere else. If you want to talk to me, just call out my name and speak to me out loud. You don’t have to shout, I’ll hear you anyway. And don’t worry. If anything happens, I’ll pull you out and save your butt in no time.”

  “That’s good to know,” I said. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen to my butt. Anyway, if that’s all, I’ll be off. Or is there another savage ritual involved?”

  “Well, one more savage ritual.”

  “Just admit that you love hugs, given a good opportunity.”

  “Sure, especially from some unshaven fellow who reeks of some otherworldly tobacco I can smell a mile away,” said Melifaro, laughing.

  Still laughing, he lowered his heavy, warm hands onto my shoulders. His double was already standing behind me. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my head.

  “I shall remember you,” two identical monotonous voices said.

  “I sure hope so,” I said. “I used to know many people who also thought I was unforgettable. So long, guys. And don’t you dare tell each other any spooky stories.”

  I made a few uncertain steps into the darkness and looked around. Two identical, clear outlines were shimmering in the dark. I thought I saw them both grinning. But of course I could have just been recalling the jolly Sir Melifaro, whom I knew was no longer here.

  I kept walking because staying there was pointless, if not impossible. The border between the World and its Dark Side is not a place where one can linger indefinitely. My feet were carrying me forward for a while, and then they decided to turn left.

  It was still dark, but it was the familiar, comprehensible, permeable darkness of an inhabited place.

  “Enough,” I said out loud. “Sure, I’m a dork, and I love to tell myself idiotic fairy tales. My tale of darkness on the Dark Side may be the acme of idiocy, but I’m positively tired of wandering in the dark. Let’s bring on the lights already.”

  That was it. Easy as pie. Suddenly, the world around me flashed out in such beautiful lights and colors that my head began to spin.

  I looked around. The place I found myself in was an unusual version of a forest. It was still, glittering, and somehow muttering. There was wind, but it didn’t move the colorful branches of the trees or the folds of my looxi, which had turned emerald green, a color so bright and saturated that Melifaro would die of envy if he saw it. The wind here was easier to see than to feel. Its silvery streams moved toward me, slowly, and then rushed to the side, never touching my face.

  “Oh, it’s so wonderful here!” I said.

  It was an absurd habit, to talk out loud when I was alone. Yet now I knew that the wind and the trees were pleased with my praise.

  I pressed on. I didn’t know exactly where I needed to go. I didn’t have an epiphany, nothing suddenly dawned on me, no mystical knowledge sprang into my head, no voice from the heavens fell onto my ears, if only to give me a weather forecast. I was as clueless as ever. A special, easygoing mood took possession of me, however. It was so overwhelming that I didn’t even want to stop and think where I was headed.

  I feared no more. A sculptor doesn’t fear clay; a mason doesn’t rush away when he sees a bucket of mortar; a painter doesn’t scream in horror at the sight of a smudged palette. Part of me knew full well that there was nothing here on the Dark Side that I couldn’t handle. Praise be the Magicians, it was that wise and placid part of me that was in command, and the other components that comprised my personality took the back seat of my consciousness and waited.

  With each step I took, there seemed to be less and less of me. Well, effectively, I was still there—legs, arms, head, and other scenic spots of my body—but I was less and less sure that I really knew the person who was wandering among these glimmering trees, sinking deeper and deeper into the boggy lilac light of his own footprints.

  Forward, forward, on you go / Till you find your friend or foe / Don a hat, eat a rat / Scratch your head or drop dead. A children’s rhyme kept ringing in my head and I couldn’t get rid of it. Good thing I didn’t recite it out loud. I didn’t mind a hat, but rodents always gave me indigestion, not to mention the dubious outcome foreseen in the last line. Forward, forward, on you go . . . And then I remembered that I had come here on business. Better late than never.

  For a few moments I pondered over where I should begin. I guess I should first destroy all the Lonely Shadows and then file a request for an audience with their creator and master, I thought. Shadows, eh? Very well, then. Excellent.

  I remembered the mind-boggling acrobatics Juffin had performed to force Lonely Shadows to come closer, but I knew I’d be a fool to even try to copy them.

  I felt like a hopelessly useless and backward creature when I yelled, “I command all Lonely Shadows to gather around me in the firing range of my Lethal Spheres!”

  Then I shut up and felt despondent. What if they didn’t obey my command? A Lethal Sphere was a good weapon, but what was I supposed to do if it decided to have me for dessert? It looked like I was better off without using Lethal Spheres. Juffin had told me that my words had the power of magic spells on the Dark Side. Let’s see if it was true, I thought. I’ll command them to hang themselves. Or go jump in the lake. Or maybe disappear, vanish forever? Tough call.

  I leaned against a tree and waited. It could very well be that the Lonely Shadows didn’t give a damn about my orders. What then?

  But they did come. Almost a dozen enormous, dark anthropomorphic silhouettes. Thank goodness the creatures didn’t venture to approach me—they didn’t even dare to attack. They hovered at a safe distance, listless and tame, like patients in a doctor’s waiting room. I was no better. I stared at them, trying to figure out what to do next. Should I command them to die? The main thing was to be clear and concise. Bad speaking skills or garbled words might have very dire consequences.

  But my poor excuse of a head refused to work. Reality was slipping away from me, dissipating in a thick fog, as I tried—and failed—to collect the remains of my haphazard thoughts in these murky white woods, to gather them, line them up single file, draw up a roll call, and mobilize them. I began to pick up the scent of certain domestic rodents in the air.

  “They are still dangerous in the World, but not here. And certainly not to you.”

  A soft, deep male voice came from somewhere behind me. I felt that its owner was breathing on my neck, although there shouldn’t have been anything but a tree trunk behind my back.

  “Who’s that?” I said.

  “I am the one standing behind. Go ahead and destroy them. What are you waiting f
or?”

  The voice, whomever it belonged to, was talking business. I should have finished off the Lonely Shadows before finding new acquaintances. I still couldn’t come up with an eloquent command. Instead, I just shouted at them:

  “I want you to be gone for real.”

  The dark silhouettes disappeared, as though the local special effects team had gone on strike.

  “You got lucky, but next time you’ll need to express your desires more clearly,” said the voice. “Sloppiness is inadmissible in such things.”

  “Who are you?” I said and almost lost my balance. The thick tree trunk I was leaning against was gone.

  I turned around in a flash, ready for anything—to fight, to die, to kill, or to be surprised. The latter was the option I was hoping for.

  Behind me stood the same tree. Now it stood no more than three feet away, but I saw no other changes.

  “You’re looking at me wrong,” said the same calm voice. “I only seem like a tree. I look like a tree, but I’m not a tree. Trees don’t talk out loud, even on the Dark Side.”

  I stared at the tree. What does he mean I’m looking at him “wrong”? And how am I supposed to do it “right”?

  I blinked a few times, just in case. Needless to say, it didn’t help. I could only rely on the power of my own words.

  “Stop looking like a tree,” I said. “I want to see your true form.”

  The tree disappeared. Well, not exactly disappeared. I suddenly realized—no, I recalled—that the tree had never existed. Only thick reddish grass that must be pure pleasure to roll in. I fought the temptation to lie down, close my eyes, and forget everything—life, death, the hunt for Glenke Taval, the return trip home, and even myself. Myself first and foremost.

  “You said you wanted to see me,” the voice reminded me. Why, thank you kindly, I thought.

  “I did. The tree’s gone, but I still can’t see you. Or are you the grass?” I said.

  “No, I’m not the grass. I’m just standing behind you again. Would you mind if I didn’t show myself to you for a little longer? I don’t want you to look at me yet.”