“Well, that’s just how it goes,” Juffin said. “Just a regular working day. You’re not going to make a big tragedy out of it now, are you?”
“No. A few days ago it wouldn’t have seemed like ‘nothing much.’ Back when I was still ‘too alive.’ I’m not anymore, and now I think I’m starting to feel the difference.”
“Don’t fret, Max,” the boss said, smiling sympathetically. “Everything that is happening to you—they are good changes. The right changes. You like that word more, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I said. “I know it’s right. But it’s all happening so fast. So fast I feel I was left behind long ago, and now I’m lost. Although that’s probably ‘right,’ too.”
“That is, too,” Juffin said. “Can you deal with one more bit of news, Max?”
“Good or bad?”
“Neither one nor the other. Probably just interesting.”
“Let me hear it.”
“While you were chasing down your nomads, I got a call from the Shimured forester. He says all the Shimured Elves—”
“Were killed?” I said, my heart stopping in my throat.
“Exactly,” Juffin said. “You see, Max, killing elves is nearly impossible. That’s why they stayed alive so long, in spite of everything that had happened to them. King Mynin’s Sword, on the other hand, is just the right tool for the job.”
“I don’t need to hear more. I know I killed them all. I remember my dream down to the last detail. But why did I kill them? What business was it of mine? The history of the elves that had taken to drink was simply sad and somewhat absurd to me. I forgot all about it. I had other things on my mind. If I had been in a conscious state, it would never have entered my mind to hurt the poor things.”
“Of course you didn’t want to kill the Elves of the Shimured Forest,” Juffin said. “You had no reason to want to. But, you see, in his time King Mynin took an Oath of Supreme Allegiance to the King of Shimured, Toklian the Bright. An oath like that is worth a great deal.”
The boss fell into a brooding silence.
“And?” I said.
“The Oath of Supreme Allegiance is a very powerful thing. There are many legends that tell of people who returned from great distances, even from the Threshold of Death, to fulfill their oath. I think Mynin considered it his duty to sever the life of Toklian and his people, since their senseless existence was far worse than death. Perhaps Toklian himself had requested that he do this, if it ever became necessary; perhaps not. Who knows? You had to help Mynin against your will since you are the protector of his sword. That’s just the way it turned out. It fell to you to do it.”
“But how come? Praise be the Magicians, I never gave an oath to anyone. Not one of supreme allegiance, not even one of half-baked allegiance. It would be one thing if I had decided myself that it was necessary, but—”
“It fell to you to do it,” Juffin repeated softly. “Some people have the luxury of naively assuming their whole lives that they can act just as they please and do just what they consider necessary. Others are deprived of this pleasant illusion early on. You are one of the latter. That’s just the way it turned out, Max. Those words would be a fitting postscript for any human life, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I still don’t like it.”
“I’m not too fond of it myself,” Juffin said. “But the power that governs our lives and fates isn’t concerned in the least about whether we like its designs or not. Let’s go for a walk.”
“Into some Dream of King Mynin again? Or just back to the Dark Side?”
“No, no, silly. We’re just going to take a stroll through the city. We’ll stop into some wretched dive and have something to drink there. A breath of fresh air and some simple human pleasures won’t do you any harm.”
“That makes me think ‘the power that governs our lives and fates’ wants to make a good impression on me,” I said, laughing.
The summer night was bathed in the orange glow of the streetlamps. When we stepped out into the soft air, my head started spinning from happiness. The World around me seemed like such a wondrous place that I could hardly believe it was real. All the same, I knew that the small colored paving stones under my feet, sheathed in their absurd boots with the dragons’ heads on the toes, were real. Those were things you couldn’t dream up . . .
“You know, Juffin,” I said. “I think the gray-eyed Shadow was wrong when she said that I was no longer ‘too alive.’ I’m still alive, probably more alive than ever. And it’s so amazing that I can’t even begin to describe it.”
“Well, that’s just the way it turned out, Max,” the boss said, grinning. “Just the way it turned out.”
Max Frei, The Stranger's Shadow
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