Second Sight (Sojourner Series Book 3)
The screaming turns to crying—violent, wordless cries that cripple me. All the pain I’ve been holding back rips through me, and I can’t see anything but blurred colors. I can’t see anything. I just feel this rush of white heat and my vision suddenly goes into squiggly lines. The pain is excruciating.
Lev is saying something, but I can’t hear him. All I can do is fight, and the emotional surge seems to go on forever. Then either he realizes I’m not going to stop fighting or I get lucky. Either way, I fall to the ground and start running again. My vision is still full of squiggly lines, but I can see through them to my Jeep. Sobbing, I grab the door, but I feel Lev’s hand on my shoulder.
I fall to my knees. “Get away from me.” I drag my hand across my face. Trembling violently, I would push farther from him, but I can’t get away. There is no way, not with my back against the Jeep. “I’ve seen the things you and Evan have done today, Lev. I don’t know why you’re waiting with me. Why don’t you just get it over with? Better yet, why did you ever stop it in the first place?”
Lev staggers backwards. His mouth hangs open, his expression wounded. The glow that surrounds him fades until he looks just like anyone else. Vulnerable. Unable to blink. He can’t speak, even as I force myself to rise, climb into the Jeep, and drive away, he stands there, watching me with the same expression.
I cannot stop crying, and my breathing is wild. As I drive, I have to constantly wipe my face to clear the haze left by the tears. But seconds later, it clouds again. I try to wipe it all away, and that’s when I veer into the other lane, almost getting hit by a passing van, but I correct my course at the last moment. The van blares its horn, and I jump. More tears.
The sky suddenly opens and dumps a thick burst of rain on the windshield. I click on the wipers, stunned by the sudden deluge. Everything turns into the most basic level—instinct. One moment I’m driving, trying to clear the rain and my tears, and the next I’m pulling into Kane’s driveway. My head aches, and I grab it, trying to still the madness within so I can breathe. Yet there is no balance in any of this. Ahead, I see Kane’s SUV and thrust open the door. Immediately the rain assaults me with cold, stinging pelts that feel more like hail than water.
I stagger from the Jeep out into the storm and bluster. My steps are weak, and I only take it about three of them before the pain in my head is too much and I fall to my knees. This can’t be from hitting my head; it’s something more. Stress, perhaps. I’m still crying, and I hold my head, reeling as the rain stings my skin. I shiver, craving warmth but I can’t move. It hurts too much. Everything aches like it’s broken, and I can’t do it anymore. I’m not strong enough, and part of me wishes Lev hadn’t saved me because this is what it has come to—this and nothing more.
I don’t know how long I linger in the darkness and rain. It seems like forever. I don’t have the strength to move, so I just lie there, my body slowly curling into a ball.
“Lizzie?”
I don’t react to the voice. I just keep my eyes shut, trying to reach the place where there is no pain, no sadness, nothing. I feel hands slipping under me, lifting. At one time, I would have fought like a hellcat. Now I just don’t care. Caring hurts too much.
“Jeez, you’re soaked,” Kane whispers. “Let’s get you inside and dried off. At the feel of his warm skin, I cling to him and rest my head against his chest. “What happened?”
I know I can’t speak without crying, so I say nothing, just stare off into space as he hurries into the house with me. By the time he slips inside, both of us have been drenched. Water beads in his hair and drips onto my skin He carries me upstairs to the bathroom adjoining to the bedroom I slept in and once inside, he starts some warm bath water, grabs a towel, and says, “I don’t know what is going on, Lizzie, but right now you’re soaked. You need to get a warm bath. While you’re doing that, I’ll get you some dry clothes and set them on the bed.” He rakes his fingers through his hair to force the dark wet strands from his face. Taking one more look at me, he heads to the door and slips out.
There, under the harsh fluorescent lighting, I look at my reflection and wonder at how I don’t even recognize myself. My hair drips from the rain, and I look pale. Dark shadows color the skin beneath my eyes, and my lips are chapped. A mottled bruise colors my forehead where I hit while running away from Lev, the purple and yellow contours appear sickening.
In short, I look wild. Still, I can’t help shaking, and I know I’m never going to get warm unless I take off these wet clothes and get into that bath, so I autopilot through it, barely registering the warm water or anything else. All I see is Lev shaking an old man who had never hurt anybody. The angel’s face is a mask of rage I don’t understand.
I finish bathing and try to leave my thoughts with the bathwater swirling down the drain, but they refuse to go. I will never be free of Lev. Never. So I dry off and wrap the towel around me before venturing into the bedroom where Kane said he would have fresh clothes waiting, and, as I look on the dresser, I spot some sweats piled there, waiting.
I swallow hard and walk over to them. After the bath, I’ve realized just how exhausted I am and how little strength I have left to go on. I fumble into the clothing and pile the towel in the corner. Although my hair is damp, it will air dry. I lie down on the bed, wanting to make the whole world go away.
“Lizzie?” a voice calls, dragging me from the tidal urgings of blackness. But the darkness wants to keep me, and I feel it wrapping around my body, pulling at me. Hands shake me, forcing me to open my eyes.
“I thought you were never going to snap out of it.” Kane sits on the bed beside me. Outside, I hear the rain pouring down. Lightning splits the sky with white heat, and thunder crashes in the distance. Although I’m expecting the lights to be on, except for the lightning, the world is dark save a few taper candles on the dresser.
“What’s happening?” My heart pounds, and I feel like I’ve been running and can’t catch my breath.
“You were having a nightmare.”
“I was?” I have to think about it to recall the dream, but when I do, the memory slams into me. I had been dreaming about the night Lev was shot, reliving the last moments my world was still whole.
“Do you remember what you dreamed about?” Kane asks.
“The night Lev was shot. When he died.”
Kane’s shoulders sink slightly. “Lizzie, angels don’t die, at least not like mortals.”
My stomach is getting that tight, nauseated feeling. “What do you know about Lev?” I draw my knees to my body and set my head on them.
Kane slowly rises and goes to the window to peer out as the storm again rips the sky. “These questions aren’t going to help you understand him, Lizzie; they’ll only add to the darkness I feel stirring inside you.”
I rub my temples, knowing he’s right, but I can’t go on like this, stumbling around in the dark. It hurts too much. “I have to know, and right now, I’m not sure I’d trust anything that came out of his mouth.”
He turns and stares, and the lightning backlights his huge body. He shakes his head before sauntering over. “All right, but I don’t think you’re going to like this bedtime story.” He sits on the bed next to me and rests his forearms on his thighs. His fingers weave together. “I think what you’ve seen of Lev so far has been hard, but what you are asking me is going to be harder still. You do understand that, right?” His voice comes out husky, and he looks over at me, trying to read my expression in the half-light.
“I consider myself warned, but I need to understand what’s happening.” I’m trying to be logical about all this, but logic isn’t keeping me from trembling violently. It isn’t stopping the whirling thoughts that cut through me. It certainly hasn’t made Lev go away, either.
He slowly nods. “All right. What do you want to know?”
Time of truth, I think, and take a deep breath before proceeding. “Why would Lev be doing all this? He killed a kind old man who’d never hurt anybody. Another ange
l aligned with him, Evan, tried to kill Jayzee and Sarah as well.”
Immediately Kane’s back stiffens. “Evan’s here? You sure?” He turns toward me, and his gaze locks with mine.
“Yeah. I saw him myself. He was trying to kill Jayzee, but I blocked him to protect her. Why’s that important?” I chew my lip, nervous about the way Kane seems to be fixated on this one detail, as though it is so much more significant than I realize.
“How much did Lev explain our purposes to you?”
I shrug as goose bumps stipple my flesh. “Some. He said he was a sojourner.”
Kane nods. “And did he explain how much power goes with that responsibility?”
“No, he didn’t. Just what a sojourner was. Why?” My shoulders stiffen, and suddenly I’m pretty sure just how much I’m not going to like any of this. A grandfather clock down the hall chimes three times.
“There’s a natural order to things, Lizzie. Sojourners are vital in helping to maintain that order because when a human dies, the soul needs guidance to leave; however there are some angels, some sojourners who don’t guide but trap those souls.”
I exhale sharply as though the wind has been knocked from my lungs. “But why would he do that?”
He shrugs and looks at the floor. “Not all angels tolerate mortals, Lizzie. Some have trouble understanding God’s infinite love for such a failed creation, and Lev has never hidden his contempt for your kind, at least not to other angels. Many of us have known he wasn’t the safest one to be a sojourner, but God has blind tolerance of Lev for some strange reason.”
I brush the hair from my face. “But why would he have saved my life? Why not just take my soul?” I can’t believe I’m saying these words—that I’m speaking about Lev like this. It’s all so surreal.
Kane turns, and his hand strokes mine. “I know this will be unpleasant for you to hear, but even angels have to amuse themselves, Lizzie. We do sometimes get bored.”
“Boredom!” My voice sounds ragged, emotional—frantic—and the shaking is getting worse. I start rocking back and forth. “All I’ve been is amusement to him?”
“Lizzie.” Kane touches my face. “That’s not the worst of it. I wish it were.” He shakes his head and exhales slowly. “It’s only going to get worse from here, and if Lev is recruiting angels like Evan, it won’t be long before things get out of hand. Everyone you know is in danger, including your guardian. You do realize this?”
I lean forward, gasping for air, trying so hard to understand this madness. Lev and I were happy six months ago, before he died. How is it even possible? I start rocking even harder; it feels like I’m going mad, and if anything happens to Jimmie, I will. It can’t. It just can’t.
I stand and start toward the door, but Kane slips his fingers around my wrist, stilling me. “Where are you going?”
“To Jimmie. I’m not going to let Lev destroy him because of me.”
Kane nods to the window. “Lizzie, take a good look outside. There’s a storm raging, and the last thing you need to be doing is trying to drive through it. The rain frequently washes out some of the roads around your house every year. It’s not safe for you to be traveling, at least not until morning.”
Lightning flashes across the sky, illuminating the thick spread of rain spilling from the heavens. Thunder snaps loudly, and I jump, but I’m still reaching for the door, trying to go. I have to.
“Lizzie, no.” His voice is soft and pleading. “It’s not safe.” He pulls me back, and his gaze pleads with me. “I will help you deal with Lev. But not tonight. Besides, even angels don’t much care for storms. I think Jimmie will be safe enough for now.”
My shoulders sink, and my heart slams so hard I’m wondering if it’s just going to pound its way right out of my body. “I’m scared, Kane. I…can’t lose Jimmie. He’s all I’ve got left.”
“You won’t. I’ll find a way to stop him.” He gently sets his hand on my shoulder and turns my body until I face him. His dark eyes are staring at me, and I find myself drowning in them, unable to pull away, and while part of me is terrified, part of me takes comfort in him even as he leans close and gently brushes his lips across mine.
From that moment on, I find myself lost as his arms gently wrap around me. His lips slowly depart, and I wait for their return, eyes closed, but when I realize they aren’t coming back, I slowly open my eyes, dazed. Kane smiles gently and nods to the bed. “You should get some sleep, Lizzie. You look really tired.”
At the thought of trying to lie down and drift to sleep, the sense of panic reclaims me. “I…can’t. I won’t be able to sleep.”
“You want company?” he asks, gently stroking my face with his eyes.
“I…I….”
He shakes his head and exhales slowly. “I told you this was a hands-off zone, Lizzie, and I meant it. You don’t seem to want to be alone, and I don’t blame you. But I’m not here to shove myself on you, okay?”
“Okay.” I finally manage, feeling him grab my hand and lead me to the bed where we lie side by side. My heart races, and I feel this crazy panic I can’t control. I fidget with the blanket, wrapping part of it around my finger and releasing it before repeating the motion.
“Lizzie?” Kane says, propping his head up with one arm. Lightning flashes outside, and thunder claps loudly. I jump.
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
Nervous, I roll to my side and lay my head on his chest as his arm drapes around me and the side of his face rests against my chin.
“Go to sleep. We’ll deal with Lev tomorrow.”
At first, I’m thinking there’s no way I’m going to be able to drift off like this, not with Kane so close, but the longer I lie against the warmth of his body, the more I realize just how safe I feel for the first time in months. That’s when the blackness comes.
Chapter Seventeen
It’s still raining, as morning light greets me. Half of me expects Kane will still be lying where he slept, but the bed is empty save for me; I suddenly feel a little unnerved being alone. Chills rush through me, and I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to drive them away. I force myself to get up and look in the mirror. The sweats Kane loaned me practically swallow me, and my hair falls around my face in wild disarray. Sighing, I try to brush my fingers through it and guide it into place, but there are so many tangles it frustrates me.
The door slowly opens, admitting Kane, who hands me a brown bag and a cup of juice. He shrugs out of his wet coat and finger-brushes his damp hair into place before offering a smile and kissing my cheek.
“Thanks.”
“How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”
I shrug, and my stomach growls. “A while.” And now that he’s mentioned it, I can feel my body revolting: low blood sugar, which is probably at least part of the nausea I’ve been feeling so much lately. I sit on the bed and start eating. Sitting beside me, Kane reaches into the bag and pulls out the other sandwich.
“How are you feeling?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does to me.”
Unsure what to say, I finish the sandwich and toss the wrapper in the trash. Kane smiles.
He nudges me with his shoulder. “Nice shot.”
“Luck—pure and simple.” I lean against his shoulder and close my eyes, soothed by the feel of his warm skin.
“You think so?” Kane muses, his deep voice rumbling through me.
“You don’t?”
He tosses his wrapper into the trash and shakes his head. “I’m an angel, Lizzie. I don’t see luck playing into much, if you want the truth.” He takes a drink and looks at me. “So how do you want to handle things with Jimmie? I know a couple of days ago you weren’t crazy about seeing him, and I understand he’s in danger.”
Another moment of truth, I think, already feeling the tension threading through my muscles. I drink the juice and stand. “I’ll drive over and check on him.” After I throw away the cup, I grab the band from around
my wrist and pull my hair into one long braid.
“I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. If Lev is not acting as he should, you’ll be in danger, Lizzie. Trust me on that one.”
“Maybe. But if Jimmie is okay, I need some time alone with him to talk about this. Considering I’ve been gone for a couple of days, seeing me with a guy might actually freak him out.” As I see Kane opening his mouth to argue, I raise my hand. “I know you haven’t done anything, Kane. It’s just that Jimmie is a little out of touch with things, and it’ll be easier this way, okay? I just need a little time.”
Kane shakes his head and grabs my hand. “I can’t stress this enough, Lizzie. Lev’s dangerous. Don’t forget that.”
I nod. “I got it, don’t worry.” I go to the door and pull my keys from my purse, all the while feeling Kane staring, watching me as we both head downstairs and outside.
“Be careful, Lizzie.” Kane stands on the porch, his hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets.
“I will.” I dart out into the rain. By the time I get the Jeep, I’m soaked. It’s pouring so hard it’s pretty tough to see where I’m going, and once I start driving, I realize the wipers are never going to be able to keep up with the downpour. So instead of driving the frantic speed my heart is dictating, I accelerate only to about 25 mph; that’s about as fast as I can go, considering my limited visibility.
I’m constantly wiping the rainwater from my eyes, and the few small wisps of hair that have escaped the braid plaster the side of my face. In short, I feel sticky and a little chilled. Water condenses along the hard shell of the Jeep, one of the less desirable traits of this old vehicle I love, and that makes it really tough to gauge anything in my rear-view mirrors, forcing me to rely completely on the side ones.
The trip which should have taken about ten minutes has suddenly bloomed into twenty by the time I pull up in front of the house. Through the blasted rain, I see Jimmie is here. Then again, so is Theresa’s red sports car. Suddenly all the things I want to say to Jimmie seem like the stupid ramblings of a teenage girl who can’t get her life straight. I need to talk to him by myself, but I’m not sure I’m going to get the chance. Still, there is no chance if I don’t try, so I force myself to get out of the car and run to the porch. Any part of me which might have dried is now soaked again, and I’m shivering. It may be August, but the rain is really cold.