The Boy with Two Heads

  ‘Hunt wild animals,’ said Eric. ‘Bag ourselves a deer and rabbits. Get fish from the stream – it’s all in the survival book! And you see, nobody will think we’d go where the school is going. So it’s the best idea we ever had: and we survive.’

  Richard turned to face Eric. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘you hit Mr Barlow with a fire extinguisher. How do you know the residential’s even happening? And I don’t know why you picked on him . . . he’s a nice guy!’

  Eric nodded. ‘I knew you’d hate me for it, Rich – but . . . I was in a red mist and he was the one who told me the news. He said I wasn’t going, and I just lashed out – because they’d promised it to me.’

  ‘It’ll be cancelled, then—’

  ‘No. They are still going – Mark told me. The headmaster wanted to cancel, but there were too many complaints. So he’s leading it himself.’

  ‘Did you hurt him?’ said Richard.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Mr Barlow!’

  ‘I think so. He went down like a sack, and had some kind of . . . seizure. They called an ambulance, but I didn’t hear where they took him.’ He paused. ‘I think we’d better get moving. Do you feel ready?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Rikki.

  Eric froze. ‘I’ve just thought of a problem. How do I call Spider?’

  CHAPTER TWO

  They didn’t have a phone.

  There was one on the wall, and they thought about trying it. After a brief discussion, however, they agreed that it would be connected to some switchboard, and if they went through that, they’d be asking for trouble. Eric offered the solution.

  ‘Warren’s office again,’ he said. ‘He’ll be out in the labs, right? So his coat’s going to be exactly where it was, with everything we need – money as well.’

  ‘No,’ said Richard. ‘We could get caught before we’re even out of the hospital.’

  ‘We have to take risks!’ cried Rikki. ‘That’s how it is now, so we might as well get used to it. What’s the time?’

  ‘Sixteen twenty-seven,’ said Eric.

  ‘You think he’ll be here so late?’

  ‘Rikki,’ said Richard, ‘he’s planning to cut your head off. You think he’s going to knock off early?’

  Rikki nodded. ‘You’re smarter than you look, boy.’

  ‘We need to think together,’ said Richard.

  ‘We always did. But you’ve got to stop worrying, OK? Or I’ll have to punch you out.’

  ‘Don’t threaten me, Rikki!’

  ‘Guys?’ said Eric. ‘Do you do this all the time?’

  ‘What?’ said Rikki and Richard.

  ‘It must be so frustrating, you arguing like that. I mean, do you argue about what socks to put on, and that kind of thing?’

  Richard blushed. ‘We see eye to eye on most things,’ he said. ‘He doesn’t mean half what he says.’

  ‘Don’t I?’ said Rikki, genuinely puzzled.

  ‘You think you do—’

  ‘But you say I don’t. And you know that?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘Look,’ said Eric. ‘Just get yourselves dressed. I got you my spares, and I wear baggy stuff. You might be OK.’

  Minutes later, Eric had opened the first door, and was padding down a bare, white corridor.

  ‘Four thirty is a tea break,’ he whispered. ‘Not everyone goes, but the place is definitely quieter. You stay back, all right? There’s a guard round this corner.’ He trotted silently forward, peered left and right, then beckoned Rikki and Richard.

  They moved fast, and hid behind a locker.

  ‘Gone,’ whispered Eric. ‘I tell you, they don’t miss their biscuits.’

  He went on again, checking for obstacles. He waved, and Rikki and Richard followed. It was a slow journey, and they had to pause twice because of footsteps. On one occasion, they had to jump into a cupboard as they heard a trolley coming towards them. Moments later it had rolled by, and they continued to the elevators.

  ‘What is this place? Really?’ said Rikki.

  ‘I don’t know for sure,’ said Eric. ‘They’re doing experiments, but I don’t know the details. Whatever it is, it’s dodgy.’

  ‘You’re telling me.’

  ‘What floor?’ said Richard.

  ‘The top. That’s the monkey house too.’

  ‘We never saw monkeys,’ said Rikki. ‘And we’ve been there, twice.’

  ‘You go through to the back.’

  ‘And your card thing gets us anywhere?’ said Richard. ‘It does the lift?’

  ‘It did a little while ago. We just have to hope.’ Eric swiped it, and pressed in a code. The light above the doors went from white to red, and the word ‘error’ appeared on the keypad.

  ‘Blast. Maybe they changed it.’

  ‘How many goes do you get?’ said Rikki.

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe I got confused. My brain’s malfunctioning, don’t forget that—’

  ‘So’s ours,’ said Richard.

  ‘Go slow,’ hissed Rikki. ‘They wouldn’t change the code, surely – not in a few hours.’

  Eric pressed the numbers again, and they held their breath. The lift seemed to be thinking hard. Then, after a few seconds, it made its decision, and the doors slid open. They pressed ‘six’ and up they rose, the sweat clear on their brows. Seconds later, they stepped out onto thick carpet.

  ‘You recognize this?’ said Rikki.

  ‘Yes,’ said Richard.

  ‘Be brave. We’re a long way from home.’

  Turning left again, they moved past offices. They scuttled to an open door right at the end, and recognized Dr Warren’s consulting room. The fish were still swimming lazily, and there was the scent of coffee.

  ‘I can’t see him,’ said Richard.

  Eric had crawled in already and was up on one of the easy chairs, peering forward. ‘He’s out the back,’ he hissed. ‘I can hear his voice. His jacket was right here on the chair . . .’

  ‘Maybe he’s wearing it.’

  ‘We’ll have to find out.’ He slid to the ground and crawled back to Richard. ‘The lab’s at the end, OK? Then you get to the drug stores – I got a map in my head, but it’s not going to be easy. You ready for this?’

  Richard and Rikki nodded. ‘Of course.’

  Eric lowered his voice still further. ‘I’m going to do pages eighty-seven to ninety-three: surreptitious infiltration. I just wish Mark was here.’

  ‘You nervous?’

  ‘Course I am – you should be too. Just do as I say, all right?’

  Rikki and Richard nodded, and Eric rolled noiselessly across the office floor, disappearing behind the long sofa. Seconds later he was somersaulting through the doorway, and ended up in a crouch halfway up the narrow white corridor. From there he beckoned Richard and Rikki, and as they arrived behind him, he dropped onto his belly.

  ‘Do what I do,’ he whispered. ‘And get ready for surprises.’

  The boys moved forward like eels, rippling their chests and knees in a noiseless advance over the linoleum. As they inched forward, they could hear the doctor’s voice more clearly, and a strange, watery bubbling. There was the distant cheeping of creatures and the monotonous hum of a generator. When they got to the next doorway, there was the unmistakable sound of monkeys chattering.

  ‘My God,’ said Rikki. ‘You were serious.’

  ‘I don’t joke,’ said Eric. He turned and ducked into the main laboratory, rolling sideways. Richard and Rikki followed, and they were soon lost in a forest of steel struts beneath heavy benches. The air had a chemical smell and the generators were louder. At the far end of the tables, they could see a pair of shoes at floor level, and the bottoms of trousers. Dr Warren’s voice floated towards them under a babble of squeaking. Eric led them forward, absolutely silent, and they heard a familiar chuckle.

  ‘That’s him!’ said Richard.

  ‘Shh!’ hissed Eric.

  ‘Honestly, Mrs Westlake,’ said the voice. ‘
He’s quite calm at the moment. Composed, even – I’ve just come from the ward. He was reading his book, totally at ease. He’s a good lad.’ He paused, and the boys pressed forward again, straining their ears. ‘You know, I really think tomorrow will be better,’ continued Dr Warren. ‘He needs his sleep, and tomorrow we can all have a nice long session in the lounge, chat everything through again. I’m going to pop down again in half an hour, give him his cocoa. I’ll call you right back – you must not worry. He’s being much more reasonable, knows there’s no other way, and—’ He stood up, and the boys froze. The shoes took a few slow paces, and halted again. ‘Rikki’s been a handful, yes.’

  ‘Swine!’ said Rikki.

  ‘Shhhh!’

  ‘But I genuinely think Richard’s had enough of him now. Between you and me, he’s ready to say goodbye, but doesn’t know how to – that’s so often the problem. He wants to be free, you see. He wants a peaceful life . . .’

  ‘I’m going to kill him now,’ hissed Richard.

  Rikki put his hand over his mouth and they crouched, trembling with rage. ‘We’ll do him together,’ said Rikki. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll find a way!’

  ‘I love you, Rikki!’ said Richard, removing the hand.

  ‘I love you too, brother. Always have.’

  ‘You’re weird as hell, but—’

  ‘It’s your fault, you bring out the worst in me!’

  ‘Guys!’ hissed Eric. He seized the two throats and peered from one face to the other. ‘You’ve got to shut up now, OK? And get ready to move. The doc’s jacket’s on the stool, so I’m going to launch what’s called a distraction assault. Stay close, and keep your mouths shut.’ He put his nose closer to Rikki. ‘You’ve seen nothing yet.’

  Richard raised his thumb and Eric released his grip.

  Again, the boy rolled, but this time he moved at right angles to Dr Warren’s shoes and was soon on all fours in one of the laboratory’s empty aisles. His head swivelled, taking in distances, and he allowed himself one vertical movement so his head, like a periscope, rose above the work surfaces. When he turned to Richard and Rikki again, there was a thin smile on his face.

  ‘Trust your hunches,’ he said. ‘Plans come unstuck if you think for too long.’

  ‘Is that from the handbook?’ mouthed Richard.

  ‘The Bible – yes.’

  Eric led the way back to the first doorway. In a moment, shielded by a set of fridges, he was standing, and the air was suddenly thick with the smell of animals. The chirps and squeaks had risen, and they could hear anxious panting and high-pitched cries. Cages were rattling too, and there were bleeps and buzzes coming from shelves overhead.

  ‘Are you ready?’ Eric said.

  ‘No,’ said Richard.

  ‘You’ve got to be.’

  There was a row of deep aquaria, and as the boys peered into them, white rabbits gazed back in silent terror. They were in the grip of clamps and straps, their paws outstretched. In the dim light beyond were creatures the boys couldn’t recognize: creatures wrapped in plastic, with tubes sprouting from their middles, joined to tangles of wires. They could see computers, and there was the soft chattering of printers. Eric moved forward, pulling Richard behind him. They passed row upon row of rats, the snouts twitching, the eyes staring.

  ‘It gets worse,’ whispered Eric.

  ‘It can’t,’ said Rikki.

  ‘Don’t stop.’

  The room opened into another laboratory, and at the far end was the chimpanzee called Molly. Her brain still glistened under violet lights, and her single eyeball widened in terror as the boys approached. The creature was losing her fur, and they could see where the tubes went, pumping her lungs. She strained against her restraints, and another printer chattered furiously, while paper chugged under the needles.

  ‘What is this place?’ said Richard.

  ‘It’s where they want to put me,’ said Rikki in a small voice. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? Look over there . . .’

  They saw then that Molly’s brain was not the only one on display. Along a bench to her right, there were rows of dishes and jars, and they all foamed with yet more cables and bulbs. Some brains floated in bright liquids, and some stood on glass. Some were punctured by forests of pins, while others were smooth under neon lights, the blood vessels pulsing as tiny pumps kept them alive.

  ‘How many are human?’ said Rikki. ‘My God, Warren wanted me the moment he saw me.’

  ‘We have to keep moving,’ said Eric. ‘I know what you’re thinking, but we can’t help Molly. There’s more, though – back here.’

  ‘More what?’

  ‘Monkeys. We’ll open the cage, all right? That’s the distraction. You stay back, and get ready to run.’

  Richard and Rikki were numb and trembling, so Eric had to push them into position. He got them past Molly, and turned them towards a long chamber that ran the length of the wall. It was made of tough Perspex, reinforced with steel mesh, and there were rows of air holes drilled along the top. Inside was foliage, and half a tree. Under that stood several food bowls and a mess of torn bark and damp straw. Finally – in a corner – three silver-grey monkeys huddled together, forlorn and afraid. They’d seen the boys coming, and were trying to hide. Bright eyes stared from the little pink faces, and the biggest showed its teeth in a snarl of pure terror.

  The door was bolted, and the bolt secured with a plastic tie. It took Eric a moment to pull it free, and then the case yawned open. The first monkey twisted round and saw its chance. It was out in seconds, but its friends were less certain. Eric, Richard and Rikki stood back, opening the door still wider. At last, the other two scampered up to their leader onto the shelves above. They gazed about them, uncertain and disorientated. When they saw Molly, though, they were seized with a new panic. They shrieked as if they’d been electrocuted and shot upwards, swinging onto the light fittings. As they jumped, a tank crashed to the floor in an explosion of glass. A tray of tools was dislodged and the boys heard Dr Warren shout in alarm.

  ‘You ready?’ said Eric.

  ‘No!’

  The three monkeys screamed again and leaped to the next light fitting, which swung madly under them, chains clattering. The boys heard the crash of furniture as Dr Warren sprang from his stool and raced towards them.

  Eric was poised, and the boys moved together, doubling back in the opposite direction. Eric vaulted a workbench and grabbed the precious jacket, then they were rolling back into the corridor as an alarm sounded. They dived into the empty office, and in seconds they were on their feet, moving briskly through the door. The lift arrived as they came into the lobby, and Eric had his card ready in both hands.

  As the doors opened, however, an old lady was revealed. She stood staring out at them, a young nurse right behind her.

  Somehow, Eric managed to smile. ‘Nurse Mills!’ he squeaked. ‘How, er . . . are you?’

  Richard and Rikki wiped the shock from their faces, and slipped the jacket on. They thrust their hands into the pockets and did their best to look casual.

  ‘Hi,’ said Richard.

  ‘Oh,’ said Eric. ‘It’s Mrs Jermy, right? You come for your counselling?’

  ‘I have,’ said the old lady.

  ‘Eric,’ said Nurse Mills. ‘Should you be up here? Richard . . . Rikki?’

  ‘We were seeing Doctor Warren,’ said Rikki. ‘Just finished, and the alarm went off.’

  ‘What’s happening?’

  ‘No idea.’

  The old lady gazed at Richard and Rikki, trying hard to focus. The alarm was now bleating in short bursts all down the corridor, and there was another explosion of glass somewhere behind them.

  ‘I guess they’ve had an emergency,’ said Richard. ‘We’ve been sent back to the ward.’

  ‘You’d better hurry,’ said Nurse Mills. ‘What floor are you on now?’

  ‘Ward six, floor three.’

  ‘Go straight there, please. There’ll be a lockdown, I imagine.’


  ‘Sure. See you.’

  Moments later, they were on floor three, and had turned into a toilet. They locked themselves in a cubicle, where Eric leaned against the door. He was sweating, and his face was grey.

  ‘How on earth did you know that patient’s name?’ said Richard.

  ‘I met her yesterday,’ said Eric. ‘She used to be an opera singer, or thinks she did. She was singing to me – there’s a ward full of them. Total crazies. Warren’s zapping all of them, bit by bit. He turns them into vegetables.’

  ‘I say one thing, Eric,’ said Rikki. ‘You think fast.’

  ‘Look, guys!’ said Eric. ‘We’ve got serious business ahead. You’ve got to concentrate now, and cut the chat. Let’s see what we’ve got.’

  They emptied the jacket pockets and laid things out on the toilet seat.

  ‘The phone’s basic,’ said Eric.

  ‘Money,’ said Rikki. ‘ID, too – could be useful.’

  ‘Keys,’ said Richard, noticing a big bunch with ‘BMW’ on the tag. ‘We better not take those.’

  Eric chuckled. ‘Honestly, Rich . . . you’re an innocent boy.’

  ‘What do you mean? I’ve seen his car, and he’d go crazy if we took the key.’

  ‘Something Spider taught me,’ whispered Eric. ‘If you want to screw someone, take their wallet, phone and, most of all, every key you can find. Leaves them helpless. Look at this, too – I bet these are his passwords . . .’

  ‘Nice,’ said Rikki.

  ‘Just call your brother,’ said Richard. ‘We ought to move before that lockdown takes place.’

  ‘Sure.’ Eric turned the phone on and started clicking. ‘I just hope he’s got the motor working, boys. I was doing the fuel pump for him last Thursday and didn’t finish . . .’

  Richard and Rikki waited.

  ‘By the way, we’ll have to pay him,’ he said.

  ‘Pay Spider?’ said Richard. ‘You have to pay your own family?’

  ‘He does nothing for nothing. We get on great, don’t get me wrong – but he’s always broke. I help him out when I can.’

  Richard went through the bank notes. ‘Is sixty enough?’ he said.

  ‘Should be. Depends what mood he’s in – he can be a . . . He’s picking up, hold on . . .’