The Sun in Her Eyes

  I’m helping to overhaul the conservation park’s website. I’m not getting paid for the photographs I’m taking, unfortunately, but I don’t mind when it’s something I enjoy doing so much.

  ‘You really want to come in on your day off?’ Ben asks worriedly. It’s Sunday. Not that that makes any difference when you’re a keeper. The weekends are our busiest days. ‘Don’t you think you should rest up a bit?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I reassure him with a smile. Sometimes it’s like he thinks I’m going to break. ‘I’ll go back to bed when you leave,’ I say, although actually, I’m more likely to tidy the house.

  ‘In that case, I’d better get moving.’ He gets to his feet and bends down to kiss my forehead.

  ‘Oi,’ I say, tilting my face up.

  He smiles and bends down properly to peck me on my lips, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

  ‘I’ll bring you a packed lunch,’ I tell him. ‘Meet you behind the café?’

  ‘Okay. Love you.’

  ‘Love you, too.’

  As I won’t be officially at work today, I don’t bother getting dressed in my uniform. Instead, I pull on my low-rise jeans, looking down at my stomach with surprise when I realise that I can barely do up the buttons. I’m four months’ pregnant, and I’ve only recently started to show. Persevering with my outfit, I crack on with the housework, but my stomach seems to expand within minutes so after a while, I give up on my jeans and choose comfort instead. Even my yellow dress is quite snug over my small bump, but I decide to make the most of wearing it because it won’t fit for much longer. I pull on my black cardie over the top, prepare a small picnic and then head into work.

  The weather forecast was spot on: it’s a beautiful autumnal day, with a chill in the air, but not a cloud to be seen. I put down the windows as I drive through the winding hills towards Mount Lofty and the conservation park. The scent of eucalyptus fills the car and I breathe in deeply and feel a rush of happiness. I’m so lucky.

  Behind the café, there’s a grassy slope that crackles with the sound of brittle, dead gum leaves wherever you walk. Ben is not here yet, but he will be soon, so I put down my camera bag and spread out our picnic blanket. I wouldn’t normally bother with one, but the grass is still damp after yesterday’s rainfall. In front of me is a big, old eucalyptus tree, and I love staring up through its branches at the sky beyond. I remember when I used to think its brown-grey tree bark was ghostly – shredded from the trunk in long, thin strips. I still think it’s eerily beautiful.

  I hear his footsteps approaching and look over my shoulder to smile at my husband.

  ‘There’s a sight for sore eyes,’ he says with a grin, coming over and flopping down beside me on the rug.

  ‘Hey.’ I smile as he smooths his hand over my tummy and kisses my bump.

  ‘Hello, baby,’ he whispers.

  ‘Hello,’ I reply in a silly, small voice. He laughs and glances at me with his gorgeous blue eyes, then lies down beside me, propping himself up on one elbow.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ he says seriously, his hand skimming my curves.

  ‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ I reply, reaching up to run my fingers through his sandy blond hair. Sometimes I still can’t believe that this man – the first and only, true love of my life – is married to me.

  He tilts his face and kisses my wrist, but I pull him down towards me so he kisses me properly. Honestly, I’m insatiable.

  ‘Can’t we sneak into the food store or something?’ I suggest cheekily.

  He chuckles against my mouth. ‘Tempting as it is to give you a quickie, we’d probably get fired if we got caught.’

  ‘Argh,’ I mutter with fake annoyance, pushing him away.

  He smiles at me as I unpack our food, trying to focus on something other than the screaming hormones raging around my body. I’ve been so turned on recently – even more than usual. I blame the baby.

  It’s a bit weird, really. What’s Mother Nature playing at? I’m pregnant now, job done.

  ‘What are you thinking?’ Ben asks.

  ‘You don’t want to know,’ I reply wryly, passing him a cheese sandwich.

  After we’ve eaten, I pack away the remnants of our picnic while Ben lies on his back with his eyes closed, his breathing becoming slow and steady. As I pause for a moment to drink in the sight of him, a memory comes back to me of a long time ago, when we sat in this very place. I was in love with him, then, but it was a forbidden, illicit love.

  The electrical charge that seemed to pass between us is still present now, but my feelings are even deeper, stronger, more irrepressible.

  I don’t want to wake him, but my craving to be held is hard to ignore, so I touch his hand, prompting him to jerk awake. Whoops. I feel a stab of guilt, but then he opens up his arm to me and I snuggle in close, resting my face against his chest. His strong arm comes around me and he kisses the top of my head.

  ‘I should get back to work,’ he says in a deep, gruff voice.

  ‘Five more minutes,’ I plead, nuzzling my face against his warm neck and now stubble-free jaw.

  ‘Mmm,’ he murmurs as I inhale the scent of his aftershave.

  ‘BEN! LILY!’

  We jolt apart from each other at the sound of our names being shouted.

  ‘You will never guess who’s just walked in,’ Owen says, practically buzzing with excitement as he jogs towards us.

  Ben and I stare at him, fathomless, but he doesn’t wait for us to speculate.

  ‘Joseph Strike and his bird!’ he erupts.

  ‘No way?’ I glance at Ben with delight and then back at Owen. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Absolutely.’ He turns and runs off, not waiting for us to follow.

  I scramble to my feet and Ben looks up at me with surprise. ‘Come on!’ I urge, beckoning at him wildly.

  ‘Since when did you become a Strike Stalker?’ he asks with a raised eyebrow, slowly standing up.

  ‘Since Phoenix Seven,’ I admit, blushing. I liked Joseph Strike as an actor before, but that film sparked a bit of a crush. Well, more than a bit of one, actually. Not that I don’t totally love and fancy and adore and desire Ben like mad, but come on! It’s Joseph Strike!

  Ben purses his lips. ‘I’ve got to get back to work.’ He reaches down to pick up the picnic rug, shaking off the dead leaves and folding it up. ‘Do you want me to put this stuff back in the truck?’ He nods down at our picnic things.

  My eyes dart towards the entrance, but I imagine Joseph and Alice – his fiancée – will be well inside by now, so there’s no point in me going to the car park.

  ‘Actually, yeah, that’d be great,’ I say edgily.

  ‘You’re not going to follow him around like a crazy person, are you?’ he asks circumspectly.

  ‘Of course not,’ I mutter, the colour on my face deepening as I pick up my camera bag and sling it over my shoulder.

  ‘Lily…’ He laughs under his breath. ‘Come and hang out with me by the koalas,’ he suggests steadily. ‘Then you’ll be there when they come by.’

  Excellent plan! ‘Okay,’ I agree with a goofy grin.

  He looks up at the sky and then back at me with weary but amused resignation.

  ‘I’ll get started on photographing the koalas in the lofts,’ I say, trying to sound professional and less like a demented fan as I turn to hurry off. ‘See you there in a bit,’ I call over my shoulder.

  I almost squeal when I see the crowd of people up ahead. There they are! I think I can just about make out Joseph Strike’s dark-haired head over the sea of hanger-ons, but I can’t see Alice. He’s tall for Hollywood, but she’s only small. Probably about two dozen tourists have surrounded them and are excitedly chattering and jostling against each other, trying to get closer to the superstar and his famous childhood sweetheart.

  I suddenly feel dirty at the thought of joining them. With a sigh I decide to take an alternative route to the koala lofts and Ben.

  ‘Can we keep it
down, please?’ Ben urges the crowd with gentle authority. ‘These little creatures have very sensitive hearing.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Joseph apologises in a low voice, his jaw twitching.

  He is very, very good-looking up close. He’s only about thirty – the same age as me – but he’s well over six foot tall with dark-brown eyes and short black hair. He’s wearing navy-blue shorts and a slim-fitting cream-coloured T-shirt that reveals the definition of the much-admired chest it encases. His arms are tanned, lean and muscled.

  Is it definitely autumn? Because it feels like high summer right now.

  ‘It’s alright, buddy, it’s not your fault,’ Ben replies kindly. I love that he’s so unaffected by the famous actor standing before him. ‘Usually it’s just these guys that are the ones getting stared at,’ Ben adds, indicating the koala on the perch – his name is Bonty. Ben asked me to bring him over to his perch earlier, so I’d be standing here when the celebs arrived. Gotta love that man.

  ‘How many koalas do you have?’ Joseph asks.

  ‘About fifty. They’re only allowed to be handled for twenty minutes each a day, so we rotate them fairly regularly. Don’t we, Lily?’ He smiles at me at that point.

  ‘Mmmhmm,’ I reply, concentrating on keeping a straight face as Joseph and Alice look at me. I really am trying very hard not to jump up and down on the spot and scream like a lunatic. ‘This is my wife, Lily,’ Ben explains.

  I jolt and my heart speeds up a little bit faster as Joseph and Alice say hello.

  I smile shyly and say hello back.

  ‘She’s a keeper here, too, but it’s her day off,’ Ben adds.

  ‘And you still came in to work?’ Joseph asks me. Now my heart feels like it’s pounding in my ears.

  ‘I love it here,’ I reply timidly, looking at Ben. ‘This is where we met.’

  ‘Aw,’ Alice says, smiling at Joseph.

  She’s very pretty – about my height with shoulder-length dark hair and clear green, almond-shaped eyes. No wonder he couldn’t forget her after they lost contact as teenagers.

  Practically everyone knows their love story.

  ‘So, who wants to hold Bonty?’ Ben asks, his eyes darting between Joseph and Alice.

  ‘Al?’ Joseph asks.

  ‘I’d love to, but I don’t want to freak him out with all these people around,’ she replies nervously.

  At that moment, a short, stocky man with greying brown hair breaks through the crowd being held back by security and runs forward with his iPhone held aloft.

  ‘Whoa,’ Joseph says, putting his hand protectively on Alice’s tummy as the man clicks off a shot. A second later, a bodyguard is upon him.

  ‘Daddy!’ we hear a girl cry from the crowd, and are startled to see a ten-year-old holding her arms out to the man who’s clearly about to be escorted off the premises. He must be her father.

  ‘Leave him,’ Joseph calls after his bodyguard, who’s proffering the man’s phone in a silent question to his boss. Joseph shakes his head. ‘It’s fine,’ he says. The man is handed his phone back and released to be with his daughter.

  ‘We should move on,’ Joseph says regretfully to Alice.

  ‘Okay.’ She nods and I hear a small sigh escape her lips.

  ‘Ben,’ I interrupt quietly. ‘Can I make a suggestion? Hospital rooms?’

  He smiles and nods at me with understanding, before turning to Joseph and Alice. ‘Lily’s made a good point. Would you guys like a private tour of the hospital rooms? It’s where we keep the injured animals and the orphans who are being hand-reared,’ he explains. ‘We’ve got a two-week-old joey in there at the moment. You can hold her in peace and quiet if you’d like?’

  Alice’s face lights up as she looks at Joe. He smiles down at her, then at Ben and me. ‘That would be fantastic,’ he says.

  I really want to kiss my husband right now.

  Ben looks over his shoulder and beckons to one of our colleagues, Serena, who comes to take over.

  ‘It’s this way,’ he says to the rest of us, nodding ahead. I walk beside him, fighting the urge to squeeze his hand as Joseph, Alice, three enormous bodyguards and half of the tourists here at the conservation park follow us.

  When we reach the hospital rooms, one of the bodyguards comes inside the main door with us, leaving the other two with the hordes outside.

  ‘There’s no need for this, Liam,’ Joseph says, putting an arm out to stop him from going into the actual hospital rooms.

  ‘Sir,’ the bodyguard replies firmly, and he doesn’t look like he’s the sort to back down.

  ‘Joe, it’s fine,’ Alice murmurs, taking his arm. He steps aside.

  ‘Sorry about this,’ Joseph apologises once again to us, as Liam moves past him into the room. I guess he’s scoping it out, checking it’s safe.

  ‘No worries at all,’ Ben replies good-naturedly.

  I get the feeling Joseph apologises a lot. He seems like a really nice guy, and I’m not just saying that because I fancy him.

  A moment later, Liam exits with a decisive nod.

  Alice thanks him as we file inside, leaving him out in the corridor.

  ‘Here she is,’ Ben says softly, his voice full of warmth as he goes over to the nearest holding cage and lifts out the little joey that’s been keeping us company for the past few nights. He glances at me. ‘Do you want to prepare a feed?’

  ‘Sure.’ I’m glad to have something to do as I mix a lactose-free formula from powder and water. Koalas are allergic to cow’s milk.

  ‘Oh my God, I thought you meant a kangaroo joey!’ I hear Alice exclaim in a whisper at the little bundle of grey and white fur in Ben’s arms.

  ‘Whoa, she is so cute,’ Joseph agrees in a low voice.

  ‘Joey is the term for all marsupial infants,’ Ben clarifies, passing her to Alice, who nearly spontaneously combusts on the spot as the tiny creature wraps its long black claws around her finger and looks up at her with warm brown eyes.

  ‘Aw,’ Joseph says, reaching forward to stroke her grey-white hair. The joey squeaks.

  ‘Coming, little one,’ I say, attaching a teat to a syringe. ‘She’ll use a bottle when she’s older,’ I explain, passing Alice the device.

  The joey suckles immediately.

  ‘Does she have a name?’ Alice asks.

  ‘Not yet, so if you have any ideas…’ Ben replies.

  ‘We’re rubbish at names,’ Joseph says. ‘We still haven’t come up with any for this one, yet, and he’s due in four months.’ He rubs Alice’s belly.

  ‘Are you pregnant?’ I ask with surprise. I haven’t heard they’re expecting in the news. They’re engaged, but not married.

  She nods. ‘Twenty weeks.’

  How could I have missed her bump? I can see it clearly now, with Joseph’s hand smoothing down her light-blue maxi dress.

  ‘I’m sixteen weeks,’ I tell her with a grin.

  ‘Are you really? Congratulations!’

  ‘You too! We don’t know what we’re having yet,’ I say.

  ‘Are you going to find out?’ Alice asks.

  ‘We haven’t decided yet.’ I nod at Ben. ‘I think this one wants a surprise.’

  ‘I figured we’ll have enough surprises when the baby arrives,’ Joseph interjects.

  ‘So you’re having a boy?’ I ask. I noticed he said ‘he’ a few moments ago.

  ‘Yeah,’ Joseph replies, and the look of love in his eyes as he regards his fiancée does a strange thing to my crush. It practically snuffs it out. It’s hard to fancy a guy who is so completely and utterly devoted to another woman. I smile at Ben and the corresponding smile he gives me reignites the fire in my stomach.

  There we go. Crush firmly back in place. But for the right person, this time.

  ‘Shall I get Beryl out?’ I ask Ben. ‘For Joseph?’

  ‘Call me Joe,’ Joseph interjects.

  ‘Sure,’ Ben replies.

  I go over to another holding cage and lift out Beryl, a two-month-old. I ca
rry her over my shoulder like a baby, and pass her to Joe. His hands brush mine as he takes her from me.

  Okay, maybe the crush isn’t completely gone.

  ‘Are you guys here on holiday or working?’ Ben asks him, ever at ease.

  ‘I’ve been filming,’ Joe explains. ‘But we’re taking a break now, aren’t we, Al?’

  ‘A very welcome one,’ she replies with a smile at the joey in her arms. She glances up at me. ‘I don’t suppose you’d grab my iPhone out of my bag and snap off a few shots of us, would you? It’s in the front pocket.’

  ‘Of course I can,’ I reply, doing as she asks.

  A few moments later, another idea comes to me.

  ‘Would you like me to shoot some with my professional camera, too? I could email them to you. I promise I wouldn’t send them to anyone else,’ I add quickly.

  ‘God, that would be great!’ she enthuses, grinning at Joe.

  ‘Yeah, definitely! Thanks,’ he adds warmly.

  I suggest we go out the back under the eucalyptus trees. There’s a fence, so it’s private, but the shots will look much better with natural daylight.

  Liam, the bodyguard, comes too, but no one minds.

  ‘Ready?’ I ask when they get into position. ‘On the count of three: one, two, three!’ I begin to click off shots of them looking straight to camera. ‘How about a couple of natural ones, now?’ I propose, continuing to shoot as Ben swaps Beryl with the joey to give the latter a break. I capture a particularly lovely one of Joe resting his hand on Alice’s baby bump.

  Afterwards, we go back inside and I show them the whole set, one after the other. I’ve relaxed now that I’m behind a camera. ‘I’ll delete this one,’ I say of an unflattering angle, acting on it immediately. ‘And this one,’ I add of another where Joe has his eyes closed. ‘Are you happy with these?’ I double check, flicking through them again.

  ‘They’re fantastic,’ Alice says. ‘Are you a professional photographer?’

  ‘I’m trying to be,’ I tell her modestly.

  ‘Yes, she is,’ Ben firmly corrects me. ‘She’s brilliant,’ he adds with pride. ‘She’s been taking photos for this place’s website, but she’s had her pictures featured in magazines and newspapers, too.’

  ‘Have you really?’ Joe asks, cocking his head to one side.